


A Kiss from the Sun

by iwantboromir



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Male Slash, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 83,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwantboromir/pseuds/iwantboromir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playboy Jared Padalecki doesn't remember meeting Jensen Ackles but when he claims to be carrying Jared's child, Jared automatically believes him and swears to take care of the child and the man carrying him.   As he takes on the fragile man, he learns there is more to Jensen then meets the eye.<br/>Jensen fears Jared but fears his ugly past even more.  He's also determined to protect his unborn child no matter what the cost.</p><p>As Jared begins to fall for the beautiful man, everything seems to be working against him.  Can Jared get Jensen to fall for him or will his nightmarish past, poor health and the baby that brought them together cause them to be apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise?

**Author's Note:**

> This is AU where some men can become pregnant. I messed with the ages. In my little world, Jared is the older one (simply because I wanted him more established in his career.) The Jensen I picture is Dark Angel era. (esp. the ep where he flashbacks to Rachel, omg the boy is so beautiful and broken in that ep)
> 
>  
> 
> This has been sitting, finished, on my computer for ages. The first half was beta'd then real life got in the way and it had to be put on hold. 
> 
> Apologies for a sucky summary....

Jared Padalecki rushed into the house, tossing his coat on the hallway chair with a knowing grin aimed towards Eugene, the long suffering family butler. Jared flashed him his most endearing grin, complete with his patented Padalecki dimples. He ran a quick hand through his shaggy hair in an attempt to tame the wild locks. He knew is father hated that he spent all his free time getting drunk and hooking up with guys and somehow his disheveled appearance would always remind him of that.

   
"Master Jared, your father awaits you in his study." Eugene informed him as he removed the offending cloth from the chair. His facial expression didn't change, but Jared could swear that he was snarling about the embodiment of his coat.

"Yeah, he called, demanded that I get my ass back here immediately." Jared shrugged, pretending that it really didn't concern him.

"You shouldn't keep him waiting." Eugene suggested, motioning his head in the direction of the study. Jared hurried towards the doorway, noticing that a young man sat in the other chair just outside the study door. Jared flashed a quick grin in his direction, noticing the wide green eyes that seemed to take up the entire pale face. The guy was pretty, even if he looked scared shit-less. Jared hoped he'd hang around, he'd be interested in tapping that fine ass.   Barging into the study without shutting the door, he found his father standing toe to toe with an unfamiliar man. The man was a foot shorter than Henry Padalecki, with a large, rounded gut, but he didn't seem intimidated by Jared's father in the least.

"Hey Pop!" Jared called out, knowing how annoyed it made his father and unable to resist. Both men turned angry eyes to him.

"About damned time Jared!" His father growled. "You've got some explaining to do!"

"What evil have I committed this week?" Jared sighed, dropping is tall frame into one of the chairs in front of his father's desk. He feigned a bland look of detachment that belied his confusion. By the looks of the men before him, whatever it was, couldn't be good. He wracked his brain...unable to think of anything he'd done....lately.

"Did you knock that kid up?" Henry Padalecki motioned towards the open doorway with a swinging arm. "Mr. Ackles claims that you've fathered this boy's child."

"Wha?" Jared spun around in the chair, craning his neck to look at the pretty boy again. Had he seen the guy before? The pretty boy didn't budge, he continued to stare at his feet so Jared could only see his profile.

"My boy says he did, so he did!" The strange man bellowed, shaking a meaty paw at Jared. "And you're going to pay, you little Cock-sucker! You can't just knock up my boy and get away with it! You're going to pay for an abortion and you'll pay for knocking him up to start with!"

 

"Jared?" Henry looked pleadingly at his youngest son. Obviously wanting Jared to say otherwise. Jared wanted to deny the charge, but glancing at the guy, he wasn't sure. He'd been with a lot of guys, maybe this one too? He certainly was pretty enough to catch his interest.

"Um....maybe?" Jared saw the young man in question stiffen, as if offended or shocked. Other than that, he remained still, hunched over as if trying to shrink himself or just disappear altogether.

"You little Bastard!" The irate man hissed at Jared, spittle flying out of his mouth as he did. "You will pay for your inability to keep your dick in your pants! I demand retribution! You've ruined him! We're gonna be the laughingstock of the entire town!"

"Enough with the name calling." Henry tried to intervene tiredly. "If Jared is responsible, he will man up and take responsibility."

"He'll pay me-"

"Wait!" Jared stood up to his full height, towering over the angry man by a good foot and a half. "Why are you demanding retribution? Shouldn't HE be the one? Why is he sitting out there, while we discuss him? I'd think he's as much a part of this conversation as any of us, in fact.....he has more of a right to be in here than you do!" Jared didn't know why he felt he needed to defend this guy but it felt good. It felt right.

"Jensen! Get your faggot ass in here!" The hateful man bellowed. The man in question, Jensen, hurried into the room like a nervous mouse. He stood just outside the little group, looking from one man to the other. The oddly named Jensen seemed familiar to Jared, but he still had no memory of meeting him. Jensen was definitely his type. He was pretty, but not girly. Jared guessed that he was a few inches shorter than Jared, if he was standing at full height. Instead, he was still hunching down trying to look smaller, as if to draw less attention to himself. Jared wondered if he had been with the guy, or if it was all a hoax. He fought back the attraction he felt for the guy, leery that the guy was some sort of gold digger out to get him. But...this guy couldn't have been more his type if he'd been designed just for him. From his full, plush lips to his strong chiseled jaw. This guy was sex on legs, in Jared's opinion.

Henry glanced at Jared, as if asking about the guy. Jared gave a sheepish smile and shrugged helplessly. He really couldn't say whether he had or hadn't been with the guy. All he could say, which he refrained from doing so, was that he'd sure like to get into Jensen's ill-fitting pants if he hadn't already. Hell, even if he had!

"Jensen?" Henry turned his attention to the new occupant of the room. Jared knew that his father's scowl could make any man nervous, and he felt a twinge of remorse that it was now aimed at the already nervous looking man.

"Yes, s-s-sir?" Jensen brought his jade eyes up to meet Henry's gaze. Jared was impressed, the guy was obviously frightened, but he was able to meet Henry in the eye. Jared knew that alone would impress Henry.

 

"You know my boy?"

"Uh....sort of." Twin flames marked his cheeks as he blushed with embarrassment. Jared found it endearing. Again, hewondered if this guy was that good of an actor. It wouldn't be the first time someone attempted to scam their way into Padalecki money.

"You.....slept with Jared?"

"Uh..yeah...."Clearing his throat, he glanced at Jared and his father before standing a little taller. "Y-yes, s-s-sir....I did."

"Pansy-assed faggot." The boy's father hissed, causing Jensen to shrink back a little.

"Enough!" Henry snapped at the hateful man before continuing to question Jensen softly. "And...you're pregnant?"

"Y-yes, s-sir." Jensen swallowed nervously, shooting another nervous look towards his father, looking ready to bolt if necessary.

"And......you think that Jared....is responsible?" Henry's voice was deadly calm, but Jared knew otherwise.

 

"Of course that Bastard is responsible! Can't keep his prick to himself!" hissed the irate man, turning an impressive shade of purple as he lurched closer to Jensen.

 

Stepping just out of reach, Jensen stood a little taller, almost defiantly as he answered. "Y-y-yes, sir. We're b-b-both responsible."

"That Bastard is responsible!" The father raged, lunging across the space to grab Jensen by the arm and shake him. For such a large man, he was surprisingly spry. "You tell them that Bastard is responsible!"

Trapped by the grip on his arm, Jensen cowered, flinching as his fathers arm raised threateningly. Jared didn't think, he reached over and took hold of the man's arm before he could strike the blow. "Don't touch him!"

"He's my God-damned son! I'll do whatever the hell I want with him!"

"You shouldn't hit me. If you make me lose this baby, you won't be able to bleed these people for money." Jensen growled, hate emanating from him towards his father. Using Jared as a distraction, he twisted out of his father's grip. As if he were just realizing what he said, Jensen's eyes widened and he stepped back, expecting his father to break free to harm him. Jared felt something clinch inside of him, understanding dawned. This guy wasn't part of any scam, he was being used by his greedy father as a meal ticket.

"What do you mean?" Henry ignored the screaming idiot to question Jensen as if nothing was different. Jared kept his hand on the man, moving between him and Jensen carefully. If Jensen was warning him against hitting him, then it was possible that the man might try to.

"W-we're both responsible. Jared didn't rape me. I willingly....h-h-had intercourse with h-h-him....unprotected." Jensen blushed again, sending an apologetic look towards Jared. "I didn't know I was capable of getting pregnant."

"It's not as rare as it used to be." Henry pointed out, sounding resigned. "I think it's as high as one in fifty now."

"When?" Jared finally asked a question of his own. He couldn't place him, but somehow, Jensen seemed familiar "I.....don't remember."

"March 1st." Jensen blushed a deeper shade and ducked his head. "There was a beach party......"

"Oh man! Chad's bash! I got so wasted-"

 

"Jared!" Henry interjected, not wanting to hear the details. He did the math. "Nearly four months ago.....you'll have to have the operation soon to be able to safely abort-"

"I don't want an abortion." Jensen barked with an angry snarl. "I don't want anything but to be left alone."

"You little-" The man in Jared's grasp surged forward, nearly taking Jared with him. It took all Jared had to keep him from going for Jensen's throat.

"Wait!....you don't want an abortion?" Henry stepped between Jensen and his father. "We would have to contact our lawyers if you plan on keeping the child....have our lawyers come up with a fair sum for child support and visitation rights...."

"I don't want your money. Not for an abortion, child support....n-n-nothing! I just want to be left alone. If he hadn't of found out, I wouldn't be here! I'd be on a bus to somewhere else." Jensen looked pleadingly at Jared again. "I just want to leave here. I swear, I'll never bother you again. Please, just let me leave."  Jared gazed into those clear jade eyes and saw the desperation and sincerity. The man wasn't here to scam money from him. He had been forced to come here and had been treated like a disobedient puppy, made to sit outside while others discussed his future.

"Where will you go?" Jared questioned, not sure he wanted him to leave. Jensen was a beautiful enigma that Jared suddenly wanted the time to figure out.

"Somewhere....anywhere.....anywhere away from here." Jensen's eyes hit upon his father and it spoke volumes. Jared understood that he wanted to escape his father's dirty, money-grubbing hands.

"Do you have any money? How will you pay for the birthing operation? It's really expensive for a male delivery. You can't just go to anybody." Judging by the shabby look of Jensen's clothes, he didn't have much money, if any.

"I'll manage." Jensen gritted out between clenched teeth, obviously taking offense to having his finances picked at. "I'll be fine."

"What about my rights? If you're having my kid, I have the right to be part of his life. I have the right to assure that he'll have a safe birth and a good life." Jared insisted, allowing himself to get a little gruff.

"I'll send you a postcard." Jensen snarled glancing at the clock on the wall, growing contrite. "Come on man.....my bus leaves in half an hour."

"It'll leave without you." Jared declared, ignoring the twinge of guilt he felt at Jensen's gasp of outrage. "You're staying right here until we get this sorted."

"You can't do that!" Jensen pleaded, looking desperate. His eyes darted fearfully to his father than back to Jared. It dawned on Jared like a light-bulb above his head. Jensen wasn't really running from him, he was desperate to get away from his father. He was afraid of what the violent man would do to him now that he'd deviated from his father's plan.

"I can and I will." Jared pronounced with a sharp nod. "If that's my kid, I want to know. You're not leaving my sight until I know on for sure." Jared was feeling rather triumphant until he noticed the odd grayish shade Jensen was becoming.

"Bathroom.....?" Jensen gasped, putting a hand over his mouth and turning from gray to green.

Grabbing Jensen's other hand, Jared yanked him towards the nearest bathroom. They barely made it in time for him to spew his guts into the toilet. Jared stood by helplessly. It was like a car wreck, he wanted to look away, but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't take his eyes off the slender man leaning face first into the commode. Finally having finished emptying his stomach, Jensen collapsed weakly next to the toilet and looked up at Jared wearily.

"Did you enjoy the show?" He moaned, the bite of his remark losing it's sting with his fatigue. "There'll be a rerun in a couple of hours."

"You sick a lot?" Jared hunkered down beside him, offering him a wet cloth.

"Yeah...it's gotten worse this last month." Jensen gratefully wiped his face on the cool rag. "Wasn't so bad at first...just thought I'd caught a bug."

"You see a doctor yet?"

"In this town?" Jensen scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "It'd be broadcasted before I stepped out of the exam room. I just wanted to quietly sneak out of town before anyone knew."

"You need to see a doc." Jared nodded to himself before standing and offering Jensen his hand. "I'll call our family doctor for a reference."

"I can't afford to go to a doctor yet!" Jensen let out an undignified squeak as Jared levered him to his feet and back into the hallway.

"I'm paying for it." Jared cocked his head to the side as if to say "duh".

"You don't even remember screwing me! Why would you be willing to pay for my doctor's appointment!?" Jensen seemedequally confused and pissed off.

"We did screw, right?" Jared reiterated with a knowing glance at the other man. Jensen jerked his head angrily in assent.

"You say its mine....I'll believe it until I'm told otherwise."

"God, you're gullible!" Jensen flung his hands up in exasperation before slumping tiredly.

"Nah." Jared shrugged. "I just believe you."

"Why?" Jensen asks the one question that Jared can't answer.

 

**********************************************************************

"Jared, a word." Henry called to him from the study doorway, motioning him back into the study. Jared looked to Jensen who was staggering to the hallway chair and collapsing weakly into it. Taking a deep breath, Jared left him there and entered the study. "Jared, if this kid is indeed yours, you have two choices. You either convince him to get an abortion or you man up and take responsibility. I won't stand for having bastard grandchildren."

"You're saying....I gotta marry him?"

"You know what I think about this."Henry repeated firmly. "You figure out what a man would do. As for now, I have to deal with Mr. Ackles."

************************************************************************** 

Jensen stood in the hallway as the door shut behind his father. He turned and looked questioningly at Jared.  
"What?" Jared frowned, not understanding the accusation in Jensen's gaze.

"How much did you give him?"

"What do you mean?" Jared opted to avert the question rather than answer it.

"HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU GIVE HIM?" Jensen repeated slowly but firmly. When Jared refused to answer him he seemed to deflate. "Since I was just bought and sold, I think I deserve to at least know how much I'm worth."

"It's not like that." Jared frowned, feeling guilty. "We just....."

"Bought yourself a brood mare." Jensen swallowed roughly. "I get it. I'm used to it."

"We didn't BUY you. We just......bought him off." Jared grimaced, realizing that they pretty much had, whether, unintentionally, bought Jensen. Slavery had been outlawed for a century or better, it just didn't happen.

"He'll gamble it all away and then he'll be back." Jensen sighed, slumping back down in the hallway chair.

"He won't touch you again." Jared promised, wincing at Jensen's head came up defiantly.

"I ain't some charity case! I was getting out of there on my own! I was nearly out the door when my dumb-ass step-sister opened her fat mouth!"

"Okay....but you gotta admit it, dude. You have no money. No help. And you're knocked up. Men die everyday during male birthing operations. I can afford the very best doctors. You and the baby will be in the best care possible."

Jensen sighed, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly, looking resigned. "Well, now that you bought me.....what are you going to do with me? What happens now?"

Jared was struck dumb. He hadn't thought that far ahead, he'd only wanted to get Jensen away from that horrible man. He said so much aloud, causing Jensen to chuckle dryly. "Not thinking ahead seems to be an ongoing thing for you, huh?"

"Well......?" Jared looked around as if the answer would pop out of one of the antiques decorating the hallway. "You really think he'll come back for you?"

"When the money runs out." Jensen shrugged looking resigned. "Depends on how much you gave him. I've known him to go through five thousand in a single night."

 

"So, we've got a few nights." Jared nodded. Jensen studied him speculatively until he answered with a sigh. "Twenty thousand...,that's all we had on us."

"Damn." Jensen gasped. "You seriously had that much on you?"

"In the safe." Jared motioned to the study. "You hungry? I know you just blew chunks, but you've gotta be feeling pretty empty right now."

"I could eat." Jensen said shyly, his blush returning. Jared was amazed at his ability to switch from one strong emotion to the next in a blink of an eye. He had to admit, he rather liked this shy, blushing Jensen the best. It was rather cute.  
"Let's go see what Charlotte has to scrounge up." Jared offered his hand to Jensen. After a moment's hesitation, Jensen accepted it and allowed him to pull him to his feet. Jared didn't release his hand, instead he drug him towards the kitchen.

"Hey Charlotte! Where's some chow?!" He bellowed as they entered the kitchen through the swinging doors.

"There ain't anything for a heathen like you!" The plump, matronly woman chucked a chunk of celery at Jared playfully. Her eyes lit on Jensen and she smiled widely. "Now, that one, can have ANYTHING he wants."

Jensen's eyes widened as his face flamed. He ducked his head shyly making Charlotte grin even wider. "Now ain't that adorable! Where on earth did you find that one?!" Charlotte gushed. "He's way too fine a find for nasty ole you!"

"I...found him on the beach." Jared grinned, unable to resist adding, just to shock her. "And evidently I knocked him up, so he's definitely mine."

"Dude!" Jensen tried to shush him, looking mortified.

"You...."Charlotte gaped awkwardly for a moment before she regained her composure. "Well now.....I guess we better feed the little mite."

Jared laughed aloud at the five foot nothing cook referring to six foot plus Jensen as a little mite. Watching Jensen seat himself on a stool at the counter, he took the time to look at the man. Aside from his height, Jensen really was a little mite, nearly skin and bones. His pale color and the way the skin stretched across his bones gave the impression that he was malnourished. Jared sat quietly and studied the man as he listened to Jensen's whiskey smooth voice as he answered Charlotte's questions with "Yes, Ma'am", "No Ma'am", and "Thank you Ma'am" Jensen soon had a milk, juice and a heaping serving of mashed potatoes before him.

 

By listening, Jared learned that starches settled his stomach better than anything, but Jensen craved citrus fruit like oranges and kiwi.

"Tell me about that night." Jared ordered as soon as Charlotte was out of earshot. Jensen paused, mid-bite to look at him, as if he'd forgotten he was there. He swallowed roughly and placed the spoon on the counter. "I really don't remember. Mike was in charge of the drinks and.....his creations are.....kinda toxic."

 

"What do you want to know?" Jensen asked, still looking a little miffed that Jared had no memory of their encounter.

"How'd we meet?"

"You were stumbling across the beach and tripped over me." Jensen stared down at the mashed potatoes. "After I helped you get off of me and sit up.....you started hitting on me. I.....was flattered."

"And, we just did it....there on the beach?" Jared was shocked, that was weird, even for him.

"Pretty much." Jensen picked up the spoon and stirred the potatoes listlessly. "Wasn't very smart....in more ways than one......we were in plain site. People saw us.....made some rude comments. You didn't seem to mind."

"Hey, we were drunk and at a party.....things like that happen all the time." Jared laughed, trying to be nonchalant about it, tapping Jensen playfully on the shoulder. Jensen flinched, wincing as he jerked away.

"I wasn't drunk....and things like that don't happen to me!" Was Jensen's indignant cry.

"What's wrong with your shoulder?" Jared reached over and yanked the collar of Jensen's button-down over so he could see the mottled-colored bruise that covered his shoulder. "That bastard father of yours do that?"

"Yeah." Jensen jerked his shirt out of Jared's grasp and readjusted his collar in a huff.

"You got any more bruises?" Jared ran his gaze over Jensen, as if he could see the bruises through the layers of clothes. Mentally questioning why Jensen was wearing so many layers when it was July.

"Nah." Jensen shook his head in an automatic denial, then paused, shrugging. "Not that I know of."

"That bastard won't touch you again." Jared muttered. Jensen shrugged then nodded, his whole demeanor displaying his dejection. "So...what else happened that night? We screwed on the beach...then what."

"You got up, pulled your shorts back up....patted me on the head and said 'Thanks, Jim.' and left." Jensen looked a little pissy at that, causing Jared to wince in commiseration.

"Anything else?"

"What do you mean?" Jensen's face crumpled in perplexity.

"Was there anyone else? With you....that night....or anytime around then." Jared regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Jensen pressed his lips together, his face turning bright red as he grew angry. Jared could literally see the steam fizzling out of ever orifice. Jerking to his feet so hard that the stool fell to the floor, Jensen's lip curled up into a ferocious snarl.

"I admit, I was an easy lay for you! But I am not a tramp!" Storming out of the kitchen, he flew through the house like a madman, except this madman had no idea where he was nor where he was going. Jared gave chase, finally catching up with him when he ran out of steam in the game room. Jensen slunk to the floor in a dejected heap beside the door.

"Sorry......but....I had to ask."

"I'm not a slut." Jensen repeated stonily. "I don't go around spreading my legs for everyone......just you. I don't know why I did it, I just did. I regretted it the moment it happened."

"You regretted it?" Jared fell to his knees beside Jensen, shocked. He didn't remember it, but he'd never heard of anyone regretting having sex with him. He was damned good, if he did say so himself. Besides, he'd been told by many of the guys he'd hooked up with. "Why?"

"Why?" Jensen with a gnashing of his teeth, looking bewildered. "Because it was horrible!"

"Horrible?" Jared repeated dumbly, unable to comprehend the concept of sex with him being anything but awesome.

"It hurt! It wasn't as good as people say it is. I thought....since it was my choice..." Jensen was fighting tears now. "And when it was over, you didn't even know my name!"

"Horrible?" Jared parroted, still stuck on that description.

"I was lonely....I thought.....maybe....no, never mind! I let you screw me, right there on the sand, in front of people, so I guess I am a slut! No,.....worse than a slut....I'm a whore. I'm a high priced whore! A twenty thousand dollar whore!"

"You're not a whore. You're not a slut. Forget the twenty grand! You're not a whore!" Shaking off his confusion about Jensen's assessment, he switched gears and aimed to console the upset man sprawled on the floor.

"What's all the screaming about?" Jared's little sister Megan was suddenly in the room, looking down at the two men.

"And....who is this?"

"Meg!" Jared felt embarrassed to be caught screaming about whores and sluts by his little sister. Granted, she wasn't a child, but still....she was his little sister. "Meg, this is my.....this is...um....this is my....Jensen."

"Your Jensen?" Meg teased playfully, turning her patented Padalecki smile towards Jensen. Her smile faltered when it became apparent that Jensen was immune to the Padalecki charm.

"Yeah, bought and paid for." Jensen snapped, flashing hate filled eyes towards Jared. What was left of Megan's smile faded and she looked to her big brother for clarification. Jared winced, not wanting to go into the details.

"Uh....I'll explain it to you later, Meg." He opted to get out of the conversation. He knew he wasn't getting away from Meg for long. She had the Padalecki stubborn streak along with the smile. She'd corner him before the night was through. "Jen's had a long day. I'm going to get him settled."

"My name is Jensen." The man in question hissed as Jared pulled him to his feet. Jared took him by his arm and led him towards the stairs. Once he got to the second floor, he didn't know where to take him.

"This is my room." Jared pulled him towards his bedroom door.

Jensen balked at the doorway. Digging his heels in, he refused to enter the room. "I won't whore for you again."

"I wasn't thinking you would. It's just....I'm not sure which rooms are prepared." Jared shrugged. "You can take my room tonight. I'll take another room."

Jensen visibly relaxed and allowed himself to be pulled into the room. Jared caught him looking longingly at the King Size bed that dominated the room. Fatigue was written all over his face.

"There's a bathroom through that door." Jared pointed out. "You didn't eat much. I'll have something sent up for you. Something starchy."

"I don't have any of my stuff." Jensen murmured but didn't seem really bothered by the fact.

"Help yourself to any of my clothes. There should be an extra toothbrush in the bathroom cabinet. What ever you need, help yourself." Jared shrugged. "And if you can't find something, just ring down, Eugene can find anything." Jared motioned to the phone hanging beside the door.

 

"What are you going to do with me?" Jensen questioned quietly. "Am I to be a prisoner here until I pop out this kid?"

"Not a prisoner but....I don't know. Let's sleep on it. We can discuss the options in the morning, when we're fresh." Jared offered gently.

 

"Mornings aren't my thing lately." Jensen winced. "What you saw earlier....that's mild compared to my mornings. All that, and no coffee to boot."

Jared blanched at the image he had of Jensen hugging the commode. "You quit coffee for the sake of the baby?"

Jensen nodded solemnly before softly pleading once more. "Seriously, dude, it'd be easier on everyone if you just dropped me off at the bus station. I can pay you back for the money you gave Chuck. Not all at once.....and not very quickly....but I will."

"Chuck? You call your dad by his name? Geez...my dad would tar and feather me if I called him Henry." Jared was impressed. "He gets ticked when I call him 'Pop'!"

"Chuck ain't very dad-like." Jensen shrugged. "Hell....I don't even think he's my real dad. We don't all have a pedigree like the Padalecki clan."

"Why do you let him treat you like that? You're bigger than him. You've got some muscle mass." Jared made a point to look him up and down. "I bet you can kick his ass."

"Look, I'm really tired." Jensen deflected the question with a tired sigh. Jared could tell that he was being truthful even though he seemed mainly to want to get out of the conversation.

"Okay, I'll leave you be." Jared made it to the door before he paused and turned back to face Jensen. "You won't run off during the night, will ya?"

Jensen hesitated a moment, as if he were debating the idea, before shaking his head. "Naw man, I'll be here in the morning. Now that I've missed my bus....I have no place to go."

"Okay then.....goodnight." Jared left the room, hearing Jensen murmur "goodnight" as he shut the door behind him.


	2. Mine?

Morning found Jared staring into his coffee as if the answers to everything could be found in the bottom of the black liquid. Normally, he wasn't much of a coffee drinker, but he hadn't slept much the night before. He'd wracked his brain, trying to find some memory of Jensen at the beach. That and his brain kept replaying the tongue lashing he'd gotten from Megan when she'd cornered him and demanded the details.

 

_******"So you screwed this guy, have no memory of it but believe him when he says the baby is yours?" She'd questioned, pulling her long brown hair back in a ponytail like she meant business. Anyone knew that if Megan Padalecki had her hair back, she was ticked off about something._

_"Yeah?"_

_"You and Dad paid his father to leave him here?" Megan narrowed her eyes at him so much that they looked almost black._

_"Yeah?" Jared was almost afraid to answer, much less be alone in the same room with her. Megan had issues with the Padalecki's throwing their weight around and she wasn't afraid to confront them about it._

_"Geez! You're idiots!" Megan fumed, slamming her arms up in the air in disgust. "I don't blame the guy for being so upset. He's pregnant, which is rough enough...then his evil father basically sells him to virtual strangers. He's trapped here, knowing no one but you.....and you're the asshole that got him in the mess! No wonder he's got issues with the whole thing!"_

_"Yeah." Jared had nodded. He had, in all reality, messed the guy's life up and then bought him like livestock. "So, you think I should just drop him off at the bus station like he wants? Even though he's got my kid in him?"_

_"First off.....do you really know it's your kid?" Megan questioned, sounding like the only logical one in this whole mess._

_"I....think so. He says it is....and I believe him." Jared admitted, knowing that he did believe Jensen._

_"And you think you're ready to be a father? To be responsible for the upbringing of another human life?" Megan sounded as if she didn't believe he was ready._

_"I....could be." Jared admitted, realizing that having a kid was a big undertaking, but he really felt that he could do it. It's what his father wanted, for him to 'Man Up' and be responsible._

_"Then you need to think it over. Find some way to compromise with Jensen. Don't be a typical Padalecki and start demanding that he do this and forcing him to do things he's not comfortable with. Quit treating him like a child and let him make some decisions about his life. Give him options. Make offers. Quit throwing your money and prestige at him. Treat him like an equal and he might allow you to be a part of it all."_ *

Swirling his coffee in the cup, he wondered when his little sister had become so smart. Somehow, along the way, she'd become ten times smarter and more mature than he was.

The swinging doors came open, giving him a view of Jensen and Eugene. Jensen was rumpled, pale, a little green with red rims around his puffy eyes. Eugene gave Jared a disdainful glare and disappeared the other way."H ey." Jared offered Jensen a small smile. Pale and dressed in Jareds too-big clothes, he looked young, small and vulnerable. And.....appealing. He wondered how old Jensen was. With sleep rumpled hair and his green eyes standing out brightly, Jensen was very appealing. Jared felt his cock come awake just looking at Jensen.

"Hi." Jensen blushed. "I got lost. Mr. Petty found me and had to bring me down here."

"Mr. Petty?" Jared gaped for a moment. "Oh, you mean Eugene!" Jared nodded, never having known what Eugene's last name was. He was just....Eugene.

"Hungry? Charlotte can make you some oatmeal....that's starchy....right?"

Jensen grimaced. "Not hungry. I can't eat before noon or it all just comes back up." His eyes found there way to Jareds coffee and he eyed it hungrily. Jared got up and poured it out before turning back to Jensen who was staring into the drain with a wistful expression.

"Okay....I called my doc, hope you don't mind." Jared began. "He gave me a list of qualified doctors for you. Want to look over the list and see if one....seems suitable, then we can see if we can get you an appointment."

"Uh...." Jensen looked shocked at the offer. "I don't know anything about doctors.....it's your money, so pick whomever you want."

"Yeah, but it's your body dude." Jared slid the tablet out of his pocket and offered it to him. "You're the one that's gonna have this person poking and prodding at you. Looking at your.....unmentionables."

Jensen swallowed nervously at that. He glanced at the paper. "Dude...I don't know what I'd be comfortable with. I haven't been to a doctor in years....and certainly not a doctor who saw me naked. I can guarantee that I'm going to be uncomfortable with any of these people looking at my.....unmentionables."

Jared nodded then offered sagely. "Why don't we see who's available the soonest and we go see that one. If the doc is creepy or makes you too uncomfortable, we'll try a different one?"

"Yeah. That sounds good." Jensen nodded, looking relieved.

"No preference whether it's male or female?" Jared questioned one more time before picking up the phone. Jensen simply shook his head, as if it really didn't matter. Charlotte came bustling into the kitchen and commandeered Jensen while Jared made the calls. By the time Jared had found and made an appointment, Jensen was sitting on a stool with a piece of toast and a huge glass of orange juice. Jared watched has Jensen pinched pieces of the toast off and sprinkled the crumbs around the plate, in hopes of making Charlotte think he'd eaten some.

"We lucked out. There was a last minute cancellation so you have an appointment at 2 with Doctor...." Jared glanced at the note pad. "Harwell."

"Okay." Jensen sipped the orange juice carefully. "Maybe we could swing by my place and pick me up some clothes first?"

"You want to do that? What if your Dad is there?"

"Naw, he'll be gone until the money is. I'd like to get some of my stuff, please."

"Yeah, we can do that now." Jared grabbed Jensen by the arm and propelled him out of the room, ignoring Charlotte's protests. Jensen called out a "Thank You Ma'am" just before the door swung shut.

Out in the hall, Jensen sighed. "Thanks for rescuing me. I couldn't get her to accept that I really can't eat anything this early in the day."

"Maybe the doctor can fix that." Jared shrugged. "Can't be healthy to puke up everything you eat. You're too skinny. Were you this skinny when we met?"

"Pretty much." Jensen shrugged, pulling his arm out of his loose grasp. "I've only lost a few pounds since the puking started."

"You wanna put your own clothes back on or just wear what you have on?"Jared offered as they passed the stairway. Jensen paused and glanced down at himself before shrugging.

"Just gonna take it all back off at the doctors....why waste the energy."

"You get tired a lot?" Jared asked as they headed for the front door.

"Yeah, man. I'm exhausted 90% of the day." Jensen followed him to where Jared's SUV was parked. Jared unlocked the passenger door and opened it up for him. Jensen climbed in with an outraged,"Dude....I'm pregnant, but I'm not a girl."

"Yeah, but....you're delicate looking...makes me want to take care of you." Jared grinned, shutting the cab door before Jensen could sputter out a retort. Chuckling, he circled the car, unlocked it and got in behind the wheel. "Where's your place?"

Jensen was snarky the entire way to his house, still offended over being called 'delicate'. He muttered things about 'beating your ass' and 'kicking you in the balls' under his breath until Jared finally pulled up in his driveway. Jensen grimaced at seeing his home. Jared could almost read his thoughts. Jensen was embarrassed for Jared to see the run down rental that was his home. Jared couldn't help but compare it to his own near-mansion that had housed Padalecki's for generations. By the look on Jensen's face as he watched Jared looking at his home, he knew how his house fit in the comparison.

"You can stay out here if you want." Jensen offered, almost hopefully.

"Naw, I can help....carry things or whatever." Jared got out, patiently waiting by the SUV for Jensen to lead the way.  
Jensen nodded, leading Jared through the unlocked front door, through the sparse furniture to the small bedroom. Jared stopped in the doorway, glancing around. He filled up the space, making the room feel even smaller than it was. "Why are there two beds?"

"That one belonged to Mac, my sister, until she went off to college last week." Jensen motioned to the bed to the right.

"That's why I was leaving. Mac doesn't need me here anymore."

"She the step-sister you mentioned yesterday?"

"No.....That would be Connie." Jensen spat out the name as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "She lives with her Mom. Only comes around to cause trouble.....like telling Chuck that I was pregnant."

"How did she know?"

"She's a bitch...but she ain't dumb. She caught me up-chucking and figured it out. Ran to Chuck as fast as her fat legs could carry her. Caught me off guard, or I wouldn't of gave up your name." Jensen sighed. "Hard to make up a fake name while you're face first in a toilet."

 

"Want me to help you pack?" Jared offered, unsure how to reply to this bit of information.

"Um...sure....grab everything out of the dresser and shove it in this." Jensen handed him a pillowcase. "I'll get my stuff out of the closet and bathroom."

Jared felt a surge of sadness at the meager amount of belongings Jensen had. He glanced at the peeling paint that flaked off onto Jensen's bed and wondered what type of life he'd have lived if his father hadn't have made something of himself.

"Hey...how old are you?" Jared asked as Jensen returned with his armload of things from the bathroom.

"Twenty-two." Jensen ducked his head.

"If Chuck is so horrible, why were you still living here? You're over eighteen!" Jared had to ask. Surely Jensen could make a better life for himself on his own. Jensen looked pointedly at his sister's bed.

"Mac was still here. She wasn't eighteen until last month. She needed me here." Jensen answered simply. "Now that she doesn't.....I'm outta here."

"Was he....bad to her too?" Jared asked quietly, knowing that he'd have done the same to protect Megan.

"Not while I was around." Jensen left it at that. "Okay, I'm done here."  
Jared shouldered both of the filled pillowcases when Jensen tried to carry one he shushed him. "Yeah, I know you're not a girl. But you are pregnant. Why waste the energy?" He grinned when he threw Jensen's own words back at him. Jensen gave him a small smile before pulling a guitar case out from under his bed. Jared looked at it with interest but said nothing.

"You ready?" Jared asked, as Jensen looked sadly around the room for a long moment.

"Yeah....it's hard, ya'know?" Jensen frowned. "I've dreamed of getting out of this place, but now that I am.....it....kinda hurts."

"You have some good memories here, right?" Jared prompted. "With your sister?"

"Yeah." Jensen brightened at the thought. With a nostalgic smile, he readjusted his grip on the guitar and led the way out of the house.

"That everything?" Jared asked as he loaded it all into the back of the SUV. Jensen nodded, looking like he wanted to cry with shame.

"All my worldly possessions." He smirked before turning to get in. By the time Jared got in, Jensen was digging in the center console. "You have any food in this thing? I'm starving!"

Jared glanced at the clock on the dash. 12:08. Jensen could eat after noon. He chuckled. "I don't eat in the car, so there's nothing. Wanna go hit a restaurant. Manello's has awesome sushi."

"Ugh...no." Jensen looked queasy at the thought. "Something simple. There's a cafe around the corner. It's not your class of place, but the food is good and the staff are awesome."

"Okay. I'm game."

"Great! Suzie makes the best waffles!" Jensen rubbed his hand over his stomach as it growled loudly.

"Dude....that's a breakfast. Joints don't serve breakfast after noon." Jared chuckled.

"Suzie'll make me waffles." Jensen stuck his tongue out at him playfully. Jared felt his heart clench and his dick twitch at this new side of Jensen that he hadn't seen before. "Take a left at this corner. It's three blocks up."

Suzie did, in fact make waffles for Jensen. Gushing over him like he was a long lost war hero having just come home. She also made him nachos with green olives and a strawberry-orange milk shake. Jared watched him consume this weird mish-mash of foods while he ate his regular bacon burger with fries quietly. It was interesting to see Jensen interacting with people he considered his friends. He liked the way Jensen smiled shyly at the flirtatious waitress who teased him about his eating choices. Jared had a surge of jealousy run through him where he wanted to jump up and proclaim. "He's eating like this because he's pregnant! With my child! So quit flirting with my man!"

Except....he wasn't 'his' anything. Jared wondered if he would ever be anything more than just a guy who happened to get pregnant by him. He hoped that they'd at least be friends by the time the kid was born.

Jared realized that he must have been staring because Jensen was giving him a funny look. "Dude?"

"Huh? What?....Did you say something?" Jared shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Yeah....I said we should probably get going. We'll have a ton of paperwork to fill out at the doctor's office since I'm a new patient."Jensen gave him a slight smile and pulled himself to his feet, reaching over to snag a stray fry off of Jared's plate.

"Did you just steal my fry?!" Jared pretended to be upset.

"If I don't get away from her strong perfume, I might be giving it back....with interest!" Jensen motioned to the flirtatious waitress. "It's making me nauseous!"

"Could be that weird concoction of food you just inhaled." Jared teased, pulling money out of his wallet and tossing it on the table as he watched Jensen weave his way to the door, waving a friendly goodbye to Suzie.

"Which I completely blame on you and your huge ass spawn. I never ate anything out of the ordinary until you put this kid in me. This kid makes me eat like a pig and then throw it all back up later." Jensen teased back, then paled, as if regrettinghis words. "Uh.....um....sorry, man......I didn't mean-"

"Jensen, it's cool. You don't have to apologize for anything." Jared reached out to touch Jensen on the arm, but he flinched away. "Jensen.....I'm not gonna hurt you. Relax."

"Sorry." Jensen mumbled, looking away, clearly embarrassed. Jared unlocked Jensen's door, and helped him in. Forget the fact that he wasn't a girl, Jensen needed to be shown some sort of kindness and Jared was determined to be the one to do it.

Jensen seemed to vibrate with nervousness as they entered the doctor's waiting room. Jared took the initiative and went up to the window. "Hi, we're here for a two o'clock appointment. We came a little early in case there was paperwork." Jared turned on the charm, shamelessly flirting with the receptionist.

"I've got it all right here." The receptionist smiled back at Jared as she handed over a stack of forms. "Please try to fill everything out."

"You were flirting with her." Jensen hissed the accusation as he followed Jared to a couple of seats along the far wall.

"Yeah? So?" Jared frowned, unclear with what the problem was.

"You like women?"Jensen looked shocked.

"Yeah.....sometimes." Jared shrugged, sitting down and settling the papers on his lap.

"Could you hold off on that right now." Jensen hissed. "You're here with me...and I'm pregnant with your kid. Could we pretend that I didn't whore myself out for a one night stand....please? While we're here? Pretend that we at least know each other."

"You're embarrassed?" Jared gasped, shocked.

"Of slutting around....yes."

"That why you're so nervous?"

"Kind of."Those adorable twin flames of embarrassment adorned Jensen's cheeks as he busily got a pen out of his jacket pocket. "Not of the baby....but that I'm...virtually a slut."

"You're not a slut. I'm a slut. You just slept with a slut." Jared teased cheekily, Jensen frowned back at him, clearly not amused.

"So...I'm a slut by association." Jensen shrugged with a pained grimace, looking like he'd just bitten into something bitter.

"Give me the first form."

The first four forms were all about Jensen. Jared read over his shoulder as he answered the questionnaire, learning a lot about Jensen as he did. For instance, his middle name was Ross. He first became aware of the pregnancy two months ago. He'd been a heavy caffeine drinker until that, but had quit immediately.

"Quit that!" Jensen shoved at his face as he leaned over his shoulder once again. "Look through the other papers and see if there are some questions you can answer!"

Jared immediately found that he could. Most of the forms had the same questions, over and over. He filled out some of his own information, but ended up filling out Jensen's with his newly gleaned information. "How do you pronounce your last name? Awk...Lees?"

"Ackles. Ack-els. Kinda like Ankles but with an ACK." Jensen replied without looking up from the form he was filling out.

"You get that a lot? People not able to pronounce your name?"

"Yeah....least it ain't Pada-Leck-ee" Jensen grinned slyly at Jared, his tone teasing.

"Never had trouble with people mispronouncing Padalecki." Jared shrugged. "Everybody knows it around here ."

"Yeah." Jensen sobered immediately. "I know."

"Mr. Ackles and Mr. Paladicki?" The nurse called out from the entryway to the patient rooms.

"Here." Jensen rose, snickering. "Come on Paladicki."

"You....want me to come in with you?"Jared froze, mid-rise.

"You don't have to." Jensen looked nervous again. "But....you can....if you want." Jared could see that Jensen really wanted him to come with him, but was too proud to ask him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." Jared grinned, grabbing up the papers and hurrying to follow Jensen and the nurse.

"Have a seat in here." The nurse opened the door to a small exam room. "Dr. Harwell will be with you momentarily. Did you finish the paperwork?"

"Most of them." Jared felt like a student with a late homework assignment.

"Hmmph." The nurse took the rumpled papers with a frown. "I'll see what I can make of these." She shoved a hospital gown at Jensen. "Put this on and get on the table."

Jensen clutched the gown to him, suddenly looking petrified. He glanced around the room, as if looking for something to hide behind.

"So...you're nervous about being thought of as a slut....but not nervous that this is happening inside you?" Jared pointed to a big poster depicting a fetus inside a male body.

Jensen gave him a trembly smile. "Kinda both?" His eyes grew huge as he focused on the poster, looking a tad bit paler. Jared felt a surge of guilt for purposely scaring him.

"You'll do fine." Jared offered, hoping that it'd sooth the nerves he'd just created. Looking at Jensen's pallor, he didn't think it was working. He felt bad for making the man even more nervous than he already was. "Seriously, my doc wouldn't haverecommended this place if it wasn't one of the best."

"Men were not made to have babies.....they die all the time." Jensen replied quietly, still staring at the poster. Jared frowned, moving to stand between Jensen and the poster, using his large frame to block his view.

"Ain't gonna happen." He stated, matter-of-factly. "We won't let anything go wrong."

Jensen opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the opening of the door. A tall thin man wearing a multi-colored smock came into the room. He had a stethoscope hanging around his neck, so Jared assumed he was the doctor, despite the strange attire. Jensen visibly trembled. Wanting to comfort him, Jared reached out, placing a hand on Jensen's arm.  
"Mr. Ackles? I'm Doctor Harwell." The doctor offered his hand towards Jensen. He looked Jensen over in a way that gave Jared the impression that he was checking Jensen out.

"J-Jensen." Jensen shook the offered hand gently, stepping closer to Jared as he did. "Th-this is Jared."

"The siring father?" The doctor looked Jared up and down, still clasping Jensen's hand in his and moving his other hand up Jensens arm in a near-caress. Jared felt like he'd been dismissed.

 

"Glad you could be here." Dr. Harwell stated, but didn't sound like he meant it. He pulled his large body into one of the chairs. "Jensen, you need to change into the gown so I can give you an exam."

"Yeah, that's me."Jared reached out, forcing the doctor to release Jensen and take his hand. He didn't like being ignored and he certainly didn't like how the guy was eyeing Jensen in a very un-doctorly way. "I'll be here for every appointment. As long as Jensen doesn't have a problem with that. " Jared stated warningly as he pulled one of the chairs lining the wall up for Jensen before getting himself one. "Shouldn't we talk a moment before the exam? Let Jensen get comfortable with you?"  
Jensen shot him a small, grateful smile. It could have been a thank you for the chair, but Jared thought it was more for the fact that he was staying with him. The doctor watched them settle their tall frames into the hard chairs with a frown. Jared wondered if the guy really expected Jensen to just drop trow, right then and there, in front of him. Wasn't gonna happen with him around.

"As you probably already know, male pregnancy and the male birthing operation is a very rough undertaking. It's very risky and not many men chose this route. I immediately suggest that you consider ending the pregnancy." The doctor took a moment to look them both in the eye. Jared opened his mouth, not sure what to say, but Jensen spoke up first.

"I'm not aborting it."

"That is your choice. But, biological children are possible other ways. Surrogate mothers-"

"I'm not aborting it." Jensen repeated again, more forcefully. "I'm going through with this and if you try to convince otherwise, I'm finding a new doctor."

"I apologize, by law, I have to tell you the dangers and your options." The doctor all but snarled at Jensen.

"We're done here." Jared rose, using his height to glare down menacingly at the doctor. "Jensen?"

Nodding, Jensen rose and hurried out of the room. Jared let him leave the room before he growled. "You don't have much of a bedside manner. Couldn't you see he's scared to death? And you start throwing it all in his face? Bullying pregnant people fun for you?"

"Jared?" Jensen's voice drifted through the open door to him, causing him to hurry after him with one last menacing glare at the doctor. He waited until they were back in the SUV before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

"No...don't be. It wasn't your fault." Jensen shook his head and gave him a soft smile. "You were great back there. I appreciate it. I.....I...I didn't feel comfortable with him."

"Bastard's a slime-ball." Pulling out the tablet again, he looked at the list. "I'm gonna tell Doc about this. He won't be recommending Dr. Creepy again." He glanced over at Jensen again. "So do we call it a day or do we try another one?"

 

"Go ahead and make the calls." Jensen grimaced. "I'd like to get it over with as soon as possible."

"Yeah....it's like a freezing lake. Better to jump in all at once than go in inch by inch." Jared pulled out his cell and dialed the next number. He called three before there was an d get available doctor. The nice lady on the phone told him that if they could get to the office in the next fifteen minutes, they'd squeeze them in immediately. Jared took that as a sign and sped out of the parking lot. He had Jensen in the office in eight minutes.

"Ah! Mr. Padalecki, I presume?" The rolly-polly receptionist smiled welcomingly as they entered the quiet waiting room. Another couple sat to the left while a large family of six took up the right side of the room.

"Yes. I'm Jared Padalecki, we spoke on the phone a few minutes ago. "This is Jensen Ackles."

"I'm Abigail." She rose and offered them both her hand and a sweet smile. Jensen gave her a shy smile, still standing close to Jared, as if for protection or support.

"I'm guessing we have a bunch of paperwork to fill out?" Jared questioned, pulling out his pen.

"Not too much." Abigail laughed, handing him a couple of pieces of paper. "Just the general information. Dr. Morgan prefers to gain his own information firsthand. Take a moment to fill these out. As soon as you are done, I'll take you back and introduce you to Jeff."

"Jeff?" Jensen spoke for the first time as Jared accepted the papers.

"Doctor Morgan. Jeff Morgan." Abigail beamed at Jensen. "We go by first names here, Jensen. It makes us feel more like a family."

"Oh." Jensen nodded, looking shell-shocked. He glanced around the room nervously as Jared found an empty seat and starting to fill out the papers.

"Honey? Would you like me to show you where the restroom is?" Abigail offered, seeming to understand Jensen's needs.  
Glancing back over at Jared, who looked up at him questioningly, he nodded to Abigail. "Yes, Ma'am. That would be nice."

"It's Abigail, Honey. Ma'am is nice and all....but makes me feel old."

"S-sorry Ma'am....I mean...A-Abigail." Jensen flustered.

"Sweety, you are just too adorable for words." Abigail beamed at him. "Come on, Hun. I'll show you where it is, let your husband do the paperwork."

"H-He's not my husband." Jensen corrected her quietly.

"Doesn't matter." Abigail shrugged as they got to the door that led to the bathroom. "You make a cute couple. Here we are. If you can't find your way back, just give a holler."

"Thank you Ma-Abigail."

 

 

 

Jensen found his way back to Jared easily and plopped down beside him with a little less rigidness than before. Obviously, a full bladder had been impeding his movements. Jared made a mental note to keep an eye out for that in the future. Jared was leaning back on his chair, having placed the papers to the side. Jensen looked at the papers, raising his eyebrows in question, looking impressed. "Hey, I got it all down except for your social security number. Jot that down, and we're set to go."

"I like her." Jensen nodded towards Abigail as he scanned the papers for where he needed to add info. Jared had filled it all out, correctly. Jensen shot a brilliant smile in Jared's direction, heart-warmed to see that Jared had remembered everything about him.

"You ready to meet this doc?" Jared asked as he gathered the papers and stood. "If you don't like this one, we'll leave....okay?"

"Yeah." Jensen offered a shy smile that made Jared's mouth water. "Thanks." 


	3. Chapter 3

"All done?" Abigail asked as he handed the papers over. She shoved them into a red folder with Jensen/Jared written on it and rose. "Let's go see if we can round Jeff up." She opened a different door and held it open for them.

 

  
Jared waited for Jensen before he followed. Jensen was nervous, but warming up to Abigail helped. He walked beside her, nodding shyly as she chatted with him. Jared followed, watching the gentle sway of Jensen's hips and wished, once again, that he could remember the night he met the man. He also wished he'd left a better impression with the man. Approaching another door that was partially opened, Abigail knocked on the door. "Jeff-dear, I have Jared and Jensen here."

 

"Come on in boys." A deep voice called out, sounding friendly, which was a good sign for Jared. Entering the room, what he'd thought was going to be an exam room, he was surprised to see that it was an office of a sort. Although there was a desk and a file cabinet shoved to one corner, the room was dominated by two comfortable looking sofas and a couple of overstuffed chairs. "Have a seat. I'm Jeffrey Dean Morgan and I'm hoping I can be your doctor."

 

Jeffrey Morgan didn't look much like a doctor, dressed in a simple pair of gun-metal grey slacks and a plain button up shirt that was pulled open at the collar. He took the folder from Abigail with a peck to her wrinkled cheek. "Thanks Ab."

 

The sweet receptionist closed the door as she left, but not before Jared noted the blush on her cheeks. As the door closed, Jared turned his attention back to the men. Jensen moved carefully to one of the sofas and perched nervously on the edge of it. He glanced up at Jared, as if asking for him to come closer. Jared obliged and plopped down beside him.

 

"So....a male pregnancy, huh?" The dark-haired doctor grinned at the two of them. "Congratulations."

 

Jensen frowned. "Aren't y-y-you going to try to c-c-convince me to abort? Tell m-m-me all the d-d-dangers I'm facing?"

 

"If you had wanted an abortion, you wouldn't be here." The doctor shrugged, tossing the file on the opposite sofa before searching his pockets. Unable to find what he was searching for, he went over to the desk and retrieved a pen out of a cup that sat on top. He sat down directly across from Jensen and opened the file. "And I'm pretty sure you're aware of the dangers already. If not, I can go over them with you."

 

"N-No, thank you." Jensen shrunk back a little. "I-I....we know."

 

"Okay. So..."Dr. Morgan pulled on a pair of reading glasses and scanned the first sheet. "You think you're four months along?"

 

"I-I know I am."Jensen sat up, defiantly. "I c-conceived on March 1st."

 

"Your birthday."Dr. Morgan added with a smile, setting the paper aside. "So....this wasn't planned?"

 

"N-no."

 

"Okay." Dr. Morgan nodded. "Although I'd have liked to have seen you earlier than this, it's still early enough for us to work towards a safe birth. You look a little on the anemic side and you could do with some weight gain. If you chose to retain me as your doctor. I'd like to put you on a special diet and a vitamin regimen."

 

"He pukes everything up. He can't hardly keep anything down." Jared finally spoke up. "Eating during the morning makes him sick, so he can't even eat before noon."

 

Dr. Morgan jotted a note on the edge of the paper he had in his hand before looking over the top of his glasses at Jensen. "The vitamins and diet will help with that. Most likely won't cure it, but it'll help. Are you queasy all day or just in the morning hours?"

 

"A-all day, but it's the worst in the m-mornings." Jensen scooted back on the couch a bit, seeming to relax. Jared gave him an encouraging smile and moved back with him.

 

"Any pain with the nausea?"

 

"P-pain?"

 

"Sharp jabbing pain or a dull throbbing, other than the muscle strain that comes from vomiting."

 

Jared looked to Jensen, wide-eyed. He hadn't thought of Jensen being in extra pain. The near-explosive vomiting was bad enough. Jensen shook his head. "N-no, no pain."

 

"Good!"Dr. Morgan grinned, looking rather boyish when he did. "Aside from the nausea, any problems?"

 

"N-no...." Jensen glanced down, and Jared got the distinct impression that he was lying. Evidently, the doctor thought the same.

 

"Anything Jensen....If I'm to be your doctor, I'll need to know anything and everything. The smallest thing could be a warning that leads to something worse." The doctor looked kindly at Jensen, Jared could tell that he was trying to be gentle with the young man, as if he could tell how skittish he was.

 

"Well......"Jensen grimaced, blushing and studying his clenched hands.

 

"Jensen, nothing is too small. Nothing is too stupid to mention. Most likely, I've already heard it from someone else."

 

"Um...."Jensen glanced over to Jared nervously before grimacing again. "S-S-S-Sometimes it hurts.....to go to the bathroom."

 

"Which?"

 

"Uh....both?" Jensen was slowly darkening to a scarlet color as he found his hands overly interesting.

 

"Is there evidence of blood?" The doctor's dark eyes showed his concern. Jensen quickly nodded his head in affirmation. Jared could literally feel his heart skip a beat at that.

 

"What about sex?" The doctor questioned quietly. "Does that hurt too?"

 

"Umm...."Jensen was now beet red from the top of his head to where the neck of his borrowed shirt covered his chest. "Th-there hasn't been any s-s-sex....s-s-s-ince it s-s-started h-hurting.....s-s-so I don't know."

 

"We've...been apart." Jared added quickly and Jensen shot him another look of gratitude.

 

"Okay, we'll get into it more during the exam." Dr. Morgan backed off, as if sensing that Jensen was at his breaking point. Jared was grateful and his estimation of this doctor doubled. "Is there anything else? Questions? Something that concerns either of you?"

 

"W-w-what's my ch-chances?" Jensen blurted out.

 

The doctor didn't answer at first. He simply ran his hand over the scruffy stubble on his face and studied Jensen for a moment. "I can't say what your chances are, Jensen. All I can say is....you've already beaten the odds by becoming pregnant. The fact that you and your partner are both here, willing to do whatever it takes to ensure a good birth, raises your odds. If you take care of yourself and do everything you can to keep this baby, and yourself safe, I'll do my best to get you both through it safely. I'm going to plan on you both surviving. How's that sound?"

 

"Okay." Jensen gave the doctor a small smile that Jared found endearing.

 

"You want me to be your doctor?" He questioned. Jared looked to Jensen for his answer.

 

"Y-yes, s-sir." Jensen's smile grew as as he nodded.

 

"Okay then, if you don't have any more questions, we'll move on to the next step. The exam."  
Dr. Morgan stood up easily and headed towards the door. Jared was surprised to see him measured against the door. Sitting down, he hadn't seemed like he would be very tall, but standing in the doorway, Dr. Morgan looked to be nearly as tall, if not taller than Jensen. For some odd reason, Jared was impressed by this fact.

 

"C-c-can you do a p-paternity t-t-test?" Jensen called out, ducking his head to hide the depth of his embarrassment.

 

The doctor turned to look at his new patient with soft eyes before shooting a concerned frown at Jared. "Yes, of course. I'll draw some fluid during the exam. Follow me boys."

 

"That's not necessary, Jensen." Jared growled as the doctor headed out of the room. Jensen just shrugged, but didn't say anything. "I said I believe you and I meant it."

 

"I j-j-just don't want there to be any d-doubt.....from....a-a-anybody." Jensen whispered as he passed him to follow the doctor.

 

"All that matters is that you and I believe it." Jared hurried to catch up.

 

"Jensen, why don't you step inside and change while Jared and I wait outside." The doctor stood beside the door to the exam room, holding a gown that he'd procured somewhere along the short trip to the exam room. Jensen took the gown and stepped into the room nervously looking at Jared.

 

"We'll be right here." Jared coaxed gently with a smile. "Just holler if you need anything."

 

"He's skittish." Dr. Morgan stated quietly as the door shut behind Jensen.

 

"He's had a crappy day. You're not the first doctor we've been to. The first guy was an asshole that told Jensen to get an abortion when he wasn't perving on him." Jared growled. "It's been a long couple of days."

 

"He seems to really depend on you for support." The doctor eyed Jared. "Will you stick with him through it all."

 

"It's my baby. I'll do whatever it takes."

 

"What if the paternity test says otherwise?" Dark eyes studied Jared, sizing him up.

 

"I don't need the test. Jensen says it's mine, so, it's mine." Jared shrugged. "And if....for some reason, the test says otherwise.....I'll still stick it out. Jensen doesn't have anyone else. He's had a crappy life and I am going to make sure he has a better one."

 

"Very noble." the doctor grinned, having decided that Jared had passed whatever test he'd just been given. Just then, the door opened, revealing a pale, nervous looking Jensen, dressed in an unflattering white gown. "I-I-I'm r-ready."

 

"Okay." The doctor nodded, entering the room as Jensen stepped back. "Hop up on the table, I'll get you a sheet for some more privacy."

 

Jared hung back in the doorway, unsure of whether Jensen wanted him in the room or not. Jensen hopped up on the table gingerly and looked at Jared with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Door can't be shut until you come all the into the room, Jared." Jensen smiled shyly. "And I don't want everyone seeing my business."

 

Jared came into the room with a grin, noticing that Jensen's nervous stuttering had disappeared as he spoke to him. He guessed the doctor was pretty observant, Jensen did depend on him a lot.

 

"Okay Jensen, Swing your legs up on the table and lay back." Dr. Morgan commanded gently as he shook out a sheet, waiting to drape it over Jensen. Jensen glanced nervously at Jared before doing as he was told. A flash of Jensen's bare leg caused Jared to frown. Jensen's inner thigh had two small, perfectly round burn marks. Jared swallowed roughly. They were about the size of a cigarette. He wondered what type of person could do that to someone like Jensen. Jared moved to the head of the bed, startling a bit when Jensen reached out, taking his hand in his tight grasp, seeking comfort and reassurance.  Dr. Morgan frowned as he draped the sheet over Jensen, obviously having seen the burns also. He covered Jensen's lower body before slowly pulling the gown up, putting Jensen's stomach on display. "Alright Jensen, we're gonna start with the easy stuff first. I'm going to take measurements of your stomach each time you come in. It's a good way to measure the growth of the baby."

 

  
"Is he the right size?" Jared questioned. "Will the size of the baby affect the birthing problems? Because, I was a big baby. Mom had trouble with me."

 

"Since Jensen won't actually deliver the baby, the size won't have an affect. A big baby might actually be a good thing. The healthier and stronger the baby, the better chance it'll have to make it full term."

 

Jared watched at the doctor took the measurements, jotting to all down on his clipboard as he did. Afterwards, he spent some time gently probing around Jensen's stomach, asking questions about pain as he did.  "What about Jensen?" Jared cut in. "Will a big baby help him?"

 

Dr. Morgan grimaced. "That might actually be a bad thing, if we can't get him healthier. He's not getting the proper nutrients right now. The pregnancy has put him in a weakened state. But, we have months to build up his health and strength."

 

"How will we do that?" Jared questioned, looking at the ribs sticking out on Jensen. Unclothed,even partially, he looked even skinnier than he'd first seemed.

 

"Vitamins, healthy eating, some gentle exercise." Dr. Morgan answered as he pulled a machine closer.

 

"Most likely, you'll end up bedridden towards the end of the pregnancy, Jensen."

 

"S'That a sonogram?" Jared leaned forward too inspect the machine.

 

"Yes, we're going to check to see how the baby is positioned, see if it's doing alright in there. Also, I'll check to see how Jensen's body is adjusting to the changes." Dr. Morgan nodded as he turned the machine on. Glancing at Jensen, he added.. "I'll be performing one every appointment, as a precaution."

 

"Y-you'll t-tell me if s-something's wrong?" Jensen asked, pulling himself up on his elbows, staring wide-eyed at the machine.

 

"Of course. I won't keep anything from you, Jensen." Dr. Morgan laid a comforting hand on Jensen's arm until Jensen turned his attention back to him, making eye-contact. "The three of us will be in this together, through it all."

 

Jensen swallowed roughly, nodding as he relaxed back on the table. Jared gave his hand a gentle squeeze and received a small, nervous smile in return. With a small warning about the coldness of the gel, the doctor slicked up the mouse and ran it over Jensen's stomach. Jensen gasped and flinched at the coldness but all was forgotten a moment later when the soft throbbing sound of the baby's heartbeat filled the room.

 

The whole thing became so real to Jared as he heart the first amazing sounds of his baby. "Listen, Jen. That's him!"

 

"It's a girl." Jensen whispered softly, a soft wistful look in his eyes as he seemed to inhale the sound of the heartbeat.

 

"Men don't have girls." Jared chuckled, shaking his head.

 

"There have been a few cases of a girl child." Doctor Morgan added, studying the screen intently. "Jensen, you're looking good. Internally, you're doing wonderful. You and the baby are both very healthy looking. Would you like me to check and see whether its a boy or girl?"

 

"Could you?" Jared questioned.

 

"If the baby isn't being shy." Doctor Morgan grinned.

 

"If it takes after Jen, it will be." Jared laughed receiving a sharp pinch on the inside of his palm in retaliation. "OW! I'm not the shy one, Jen!"

 

"It's a girl." Jensen announced again.

 

"Well, let's see for sure, huh?" Doctor Morgan turned the screen so the fathers could see. Jared squinted at the blurs of color on the screen.

 

"That's the heart!" He pointed to a particular blur that was moving in time with the thumping sound.

Jensen squinted at the spot and smiled. "That's the side of her head. Look Jared, she's got a big head, just like you!"

 

Jared snorted but his retort was cut off by Doctor Morgan. "Well, Well, Well, It looks like Jensen's right. Looks like you guys have a little girl."

 

"A girl!" Jared squinted, leaning so close to the machines' monitor that his nose was nearly pressed against the screen. "Seriously?"

 

"See this dark area here." Doctor Morgan pointed a place on the lower end of the screen. "If it was a boy, we'd be able to see something there. Now, the baby could just be being stubborn, so it's still only a 75% chance that she is a girl. But, it looks like Jensen is out to beat the odds every time."

 

"Wow."Jared grinned, glancing over his shoulder at Jensen. Jensen looked pale and nervous as he bit his lower lip. "Jen? What's the matter?"

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"For what?" Jared frowned, completely confused. He didn't know what Jensen was apologizing for. Whatever it was, Jensen was looking mighty upset about it. Forgetting about the baby, Jared moved back to Jensen and reclaimed his hand again. "Jen? What's upset you?"

 

"You wanted a boy....didn't you?" Jensen's eyes were filling with tears. "I'm sorry. I can't do anything right!"

 

"Hey! That's my little girl you're insulting." Jared gave Jensen a mild glare. "What's wrong with having a girl?"

 

"You mean....you're not upset that I'm carrying a girl?" Jensen was looking up at him in wonder and Jared didn't know whether he deserved it or not.

 

"No. I mean....it'd been easier if it was a boy. Ya'know, since we're two dudes. But, we've both got little sisters, so we know what to expect." Jared shrugged. "I bet she'll be pretty, looking like you. Probably act all girly like you too!"

 

"I'm not a girl." Jensen rolled his eyes with a sniff.

 

"That's okay if ya wanna act like a girl....it'll let me practice for our little girl." Jared teased, dodging the half-hearted swipe Jensen attempted. He looked up to find the doctor looking at him with approval written clearly in his eyes. Jared gave a small shrug to him before grinning back down at Jensen. "Since she's gonna be so pretty....we're gonna have to figure out a really pretty name to go her."

 

"We've got time." Jensen smiled, all signs of his fear abated.

 

"While we're here, I'll withdraw some of the fluid for the paternity test." The doctor interrupted, drawing their attention to him. He was holding the largest needle Jared had ever seen. The needle itself was as long as Jared's hand, and he had a pretty damn big hand. Jensen let out a small mewling sound and gripped Jared's hand in a death grip that Jared imagined was fracturing bones.

 

"What the hell is that?!" Jared squeaked shrilly.

 

"This syringe is to extract the fluid surrounding the baby. I'll insert the needle here, in Jensen's abdomen, watching the progress there on the screen. Once I get the needle into the sac surrounding the baby, I'll pull the stopper and retrieve some of the fluid. The fluid contains the baby's DNA and we'll be able to preform the paternity test."

 

"Oh Hell No!" Jared yelled, shaking his head. Turning to the petrified man on the table he shook his head. "No. No way Jensen! "

 

"W-w-we have to. S-s-s-so you can be s-s-sure." Jensen stuttered nervously eyeing the syringe.

 

"Jensen. I don't want the paternity test! You said it was mine and I believe you. We don't need this. We do not need that Huge-Ass needle being shoved in you at our daughter!"

 

"A-a-are you s-s-s-sure?" Jensen turned to study Jared with wonder.

 

"Yup." Jared winked at Jensen before turning back to the doctor. "You can put that away. You ain't touching him with that."

 

"Okay." Dr. Morgan agreed, having stood there quietly while Jared had his freak-out. Setting the needle aside, he eyed the two men before him, rubbing his fingers through his scruffy, salt and pepper beard thoughtfully. "It doesn't have to be done right now. Jensen can have it done anytime he feels up to it, should he still want to have the test. Or, after the birth, we can run the test on the the bloodwork we run on the baby."

 

Doctor Morgan had seemed to put it off as long as possible, but eventually he had to say. "Okay, Jensen. I need to do the exam."

 

Jared felt Jensen's grip on his hand tighten to a near bone-breaking force. "O-okay."

 

"Do you want me to leave the room?" Jared asked politely, even with the death grip his hand was in.

 

"N-n-no!" Jensen pulled him closer, almost desperately.

 

"Okay, Jensen, Let's have you scoot down this way." Doctor Morgan ordered gently as he readied the equipment he would need. Jared watched morbidly as he put new gloves on and slicked up his fingers. Jensen tensed at the first touch and gripped Jared's arm tighter.

 

"So, Jen, you got names picked out yet? I bet you have been thinking about it already." Jared teased in an attempt to draw his attention away from what the doctor was doing. Jensen winced and let out a small noise of pain.

 

"N-not really."

 

"I'm serious, this kid is gonna be beautiful. She's gonna need a beautiful name. Something plain would just be wrong. No Anne's, Jane's or Mary's. But then....we don't want some foo-foo name, right?"

 

"Jensen?" The doctor interrupted Jared's inane babbling. "When did this happen?"

 

Jensen was silent for a few moments, it was obviously something both he and the doctor knew about. Jared was just confused, looking from one man to the other. "A f-f-few d-days ago." Jensen finally answered, staring at the ceiling, avoiding all eye-contact.

 

"Jared.....can you step outside for a moment?" Doctor Morgan requested, rising from his stool. He looked pissed. The calm doctor seemed to have grown a foot as he glared at Jared. Jared started to pull his arm away from Jensen but Jensen only held on tighter.

 

"NO!"

 

"Jensen, I really think he needs to step out of the room for a moment." Doctor Morgan attempted to coax him. "It'll be alright."

 

"No. You j-just want him to g-g-go s-s-so you can ask m-me if he's abusing me." Jensen snarled, Jared could tell it was more embarrassment than anger. "He didn't do it!"

 

"Do what?" Jared finally had to ask, but was ignored. Jensen was busy glaring at the doctor, who was merely looking concerned.

 

"Jensen....there are places you could go. Places where you are safe." The doctor sighed, looking directly at Jensen as if trying to convince him of something without words.

 

"I-I-I am s-s-safe.....n-now." Jensen muttered, looking meaningfully at Jared. "W-with him."

 

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Jared begged, confused by this strange conversation. Once again, he was ignored.

 

"It's infected." The doctor sighed, looking as if he believed whatever Jensen was trying to tell him. "I'll have to remove them. It'll hurt."

 

"I can handle it." Jensen nodded, resigning himself to the pain, he lay back down, his grip on Jared still tight.

 

"Remove what?" Jared heard his own voice grow high-pitched as his anxiety intensified and no one wouldtell him what was going on.

 

"Splinters." Was all the doctor said, but it was enough. Jared swallowed roughly. Jensen had splinters.....inside him...and they were infected. Jared watched the doctor working steadily, with only a flinch or a small whimper from Jensen every once in a while. Feeling eyes on him, Jared turned his attention to Jensen, who was staring at him with a strange expression on his face.

 

"You still okay with not having a paternity test?" Jensen hissed as pain rocked through him. The doctor murmured an apology but kept working.

 

"As long as you say I'm the father, I believe you Jensen." Jared repeated once again. Suddenly, he understood why everyone else was shocked when he automatically believed Jensen when he claimed he was his baby's father. Obviously, Jensen had had some sort of sexual contact with someone else, but something deep inside made him just trust Jensen.

 

"Thank you." Jensen whispered, closing his eyes. Jared kept holding his hand, using his free hand to smooth back stray hairs from Jensen's face, feeling a strange sort of tenderness towards the other man.  
Doctor Morgan cleared his throat, drawing Jared's attention over to him in time to see him place a bloody splinter in the container with the rest. Jared felt ill. No wonder why Jensen was having pained bowel movements.

 

It was a few more minutes before the doctor finally put his equipment down. "Jensen."

 

"Hmm?" Jensen didn't open his eyes as he answered, he was leaning into Jared's hand as he stroked back his hair.

 

"Jensen, you can't let this happen to you anymore."

 

"M'kay." Jensen agreed sleepily.

 

"Jensen, I'm serious. You can't allow it anymore. You've got to think of the baby's health, if not your own." Doctor Morgan raised his voice, sounding gruff instead of his normal soft growl. Jensen opened his eyes and looked at him.

 

"It won't. I'm with Jared now. He promised to keep the baby safe." Jensen nodded as if that said it all.

 

"I promised to keep you safe." Jared corrected. "And I meant it."

 

"M'kay." Jensen gave him a sleepy smile.

 

"I'm going to rinse this with an sterile saline. I'll send you home with an antibiotic salve that you'll need to apply twice a day, plus I'll write you up a prescription for some antibiotics."

 

"It's safe for the baby?" Jensen was suddenly awake.

 

"Of course." Doctor Morgan smiled reassuringly before looking to Jared. "The salve needs to be applied twice a day."

 

Jared nodded, swallowing roughly. The doctor was assuming that he was going to be applying the medication. He assumed that they had that type of relationship.

 

"I can do it." Jensen mumbled. "I'm not completely helpless."

 

"Okay Jensen, Jared and I will leave you to get dressed in peace. We'll wait for you out in the hall." Doctor Morgan rose, quickly disposing of the splinters and used equipment.

 

Jared understood that it wasn't up for debate. The doctor had something to say to him and he wasn't about to take no for an answer.

 

As soon as the door was between them and Jensen, Doctor Morgan demanded. "Are you abusing him? He has bruising and injuries all over him!"

 

"No sir." Jared denied. "Like he told you....I'm keeping him safe."

 

"Can you tell me who's doing it to him?"

 

"I'm not sure.....I don't know if it's more than one person." Jared shrugged. "Besides, it's not my place to tell. All I can say is...it won't happen again, while I'm around. Baby or no baby."

 

"Good." Doctor Morgan nodded.

 

"Doctor Morgan?"

 

"Jeff." The doctor corrected Jared with a soft smile.

 

"The damage....the splinters......what did that to him?" Jared had to ask.

 

"Could be all sorts of things.....most likely...by the amount of damage.....a baseball bat."

 

"oh God!" Jared felt sick. He couldn't help picturing someone doing that to Jensen. "But....he'll be okay?"

 

"He'll heal. From the scarring that I saw....it's not the first time."

 

"When I find out, for sure, who it was....I'll kill him." Jared swore. Doctor Morgan looked like he was going to reply, but at that moment, Jensen opened the door, looking from one man to the other suspiciously. Jared forced himself to erase all of those thoughts from his head. "So, Doctor Jeff, you all done poking and prodding at Jensen?"

 

"I've done all the poking I can do today. I'll see if I can come up with some new pokes for next time." The doctor teased Jensen with a wink. "Abs will set you up for another appointment in two weeks. We'll stick to a two week schedule until closer to the due date, then it'll be weekly appointments." The doctor paused a moment, glancing at Jensen worriedly before looking meaningfully at Jared. "No sexual acts until he heals up."

 

Jared swallowed nervously, glancing at Jensen who was suddenly very interested in his shoes.

 

"Okay." Jared agreed. No matter how nice this doctor was, he wasn't about to explain their relationship, or lack of, to him. Reaching out, he took Jensen's hand without thinking. Jensen paused momentarily before allowing him to pull him along the hallway. For Jared, it was natural. He'd spent the entire time in the exam room with Jensen's hand in his, so now it felt like it belonged there.

 

Stopping at the inner window, Jared pulled out his credit card and handed it to Abigail. "Two weeks, huh? Think you can make it that long without seeing our fine faces?"

 

"I think I can manage it, hun." Abigail teased back. "You more-so than the cutie here." She winked at Jensen who blushed and ducked his head bashfully. Abigail handed Jensen an orange from the fruit bowl on her desk.

 

"What about me?" Jared pouted, sticking his bottom lip out in an attempt to look said.

 

"You're not pregnant." Abigail shook her head. "But, you get this shiny new receipt instead!"

 

"Oh yeah." Jared grinned, folding the paper and shoving it in his back pocket. With a wave to the nice lady, he tugged Jensen out the door with him. Jensen clutched his orange in one hand and Jared's hand in the other.

 

"I like him." Jensen smiled at Jared when they got into the SUV. He held three prescriptions in his hand that Doctor Morgan wanted him to start on.

 

"I do too. He kinda makes up for that first creep, huh?" Jared chuckles as he starts the car. "Let's go get your prescript filled. You hungry?"

 

"Not all that much." Jensen shrugs.

 

"You heard what the doc said. You need to eat small portions all through the day. Why don't we run through the grocery store. You can pick out some things you like. You're supposed to eat lots of protein. What has protein? Meat?"

 

"Nuts....eggs..."Jensen shrugs again. "We don't have to go shopping. I'm not all that picky."

 

"Dude! You're pregnant! If my daughter wants ice cream and pickles at 3 a.m., I'll go buy it!" Jared grinned.

 

"I'm not a big fan of pickles." Jensen grinned back, looking younger and happier than Jared had seen him. "You really don't mind that it's a girl?"

 

"Nope." Jared turned his attention on the man beside him who was looking nervously at him. "I'm seriously not disappointed. Meg's a pain in the ass at times, but that's just her, it has nothing to do with her being a girl."

 

"I think I could like having a girl too." Jensen gave him a full watt smile that made Jared's heart skip a beat.

 

"So? Shopping?"

 

"I'd rather not.....kinda wiped." Jensen sighed, leaning back on the seat. Jared glanced over at him and could see the exhaustion on his face and felt guilty. Jensen had told him that he was tired all the time, and they'd put in an full day already.

 

"Okay, we'll go home." Jared agreed. "Sorry...I wasn't thinking about how rough today has been for you."

 

Jensen snorted, "Today's been a cakewalk compared to most days." He grew quiet as he watched the scenery go by. "I want to thank you.....but I don't know how."

 

"For what?" Jared chuckled. "For getting drunk and knocking you up?"

 

Jensen swallowed nervously, turning his attention to Jared. "You could have sided with my....with Chuck and insisted on the abortion. You could have kicked me to the curb....or left me with Chuck-"

 

"Dude....don't worry about it. You and I are in this together...for like...the next 18 years or so.... We'll figure it all out. That Bastard ain't laying a finger on you or our daughter....ever."

 

"And....thank you...for believing me that she's yours." Jensen whispered, before his eyes slid shut. A moment later, he was asleep.

 

 

 

 

******************************************

 

 

Jensen slept through Jared stopping at the pharmacy and getting the prescriptions filled. He was still sleeping when Jared pulled into the garage. He didn't move as Jared circled the car and came around to open Jensen's door.

 

"Hey, Jen, you need to wake up, Dude. You're gonna get a crick in your neck if you keep sleeping here. Come'on, let's get you in the house.

 

"Hmm? Jare...ed?" Foggy green eyes blinked up at him. "Wha?"

 

"We're home. Come'on Dude." Jared reached over and unbuckled his seat belt for him.

 

"Nuh-uh." Jensen grunted and tried to curl down into the seat even more. Jared grinned at how cute he looked, and slid his hands under his thighs and back, lifting him out of the cab. Jared was shocked at how light Jensen really was. He was a tall guy so Jared had expected to stagger under his weight. Jensen curled against him, burying his nose in Jared's neck and slept on. Jared swallowed hard as his libido reacted to Jensen's unintentional snuggling. Being honorable was going to kill him before this was over.  
Adjusting his load slightly, Jared carried the exhausted man into the house, much to Eugene's shock. Unsure if he should attempt to carry him upstairs, Jared made a quick detour into the family room and placed him on the sofa.

 

"Oh my gosh!" Megan jumped up from the chair she had been reading in. "What happened? Is he alright?"

 

"He's fine. Just really worn out." Jared assured her as he straightened. "I couldn't get him to wake up and thought it would be rude to leave him in the car."

 

"The poor guy." Megan sighed, draping an afghan over the top of Jensen with a maternal look on her face. Jared had discovered that there was just something about Jensen that made people want to take care of him. Or, at least, it made Padalecki's want to take care of him.

 

"The doc says he'll be fine once he's on these vitamins and stuff." Jared pulled the pharmacy bag out of his pocket, sitting down across from Jensen.

 

"So...you're gonna be a dad, huh?" Megan asked, sounding a little disbelieving, as sat beside him, the two of them watching the man sleep. Jared wondered if he was looking at Jensen with the same soft look that Megan wore on her face.

 

"Yeah! We're having a girl! Can you imagine that?" Jared beamed, surprisingly proud. "A daughter!"

 

"Looks like you get to practice....taking care of him." Megan smiled, watching her brother study the sleeping man. "You think you guys are gonna stick it out...do the whole marriage thing and all that?"

 

"That's what Dad wants. I haven't mentioned it to Jensen yet." Jared groaned. "He's got enough shit to deal with right now. I'll ease all this to him...slowly."

 

 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

 

"Master Jared." Eugene entered the den where Jared was browsing through the baby name book that had suddenly appeared on the coffee table. Jared hadn't known they'd had one in their library so he assumed either his dad or Megan had brought it in while he was out with Jensen.

 

"Yeah?" Jared looked up.

 

"Master Jensen is awake....."Eugene grimaced. "He's rather upset.....and vomiting in a vase."

 

"Aww...shit!" Jared threw the book aside and jumped to his feet. He'd been so involved with the book thathe'd forgotten about checking on Jensen periodically Jensen had been sleeping for over two hours when he'd grown bored with nothing to do but stare at him. Besides, wasn't watching someone sleep a little creepy?

 

"He's in the front sitting room." Eugene advised as Jared hurried out of the room. Sure enough, Jared found Jensen hunched over one of Aunt Muriel's vases in the corner of the sitting room. Jensen raised his head weakly upon hearing Jared enter and sniffled. His eyes were watery and red-rimmed, his face had a ghastly green-gray tinge to it.

 

"Jen! Dude, are you okay?" Jared threw himself onto his knees beside Jensen.

 

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" Jensen sniveled with great hiccuping sobs. "I-I-I c-c-couldn't find a bathroom....."

 

"No....don't worry about it. It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you by yourself in this place." Jared attempted to console, reaching to place a hand on Jensen's shoulder, careful of the bruise he'd found before.

 

"I hate this place!" Jensen cried out, jerking away from Jared's touch. Anger quickly replacing his embarrassment. "This place is ridiculous! It's too big! It's insane to have a place so big that you get lost in it!"

 

"Yeah....it's too big." Jared agreed, nodding as he tried to placate him.

 

"There are only three of you! Why in the hell do you need this flippin' big of a place!" Jensen continued to rant. "It's God-Damned ridiculous!"

 

"Ok." Jared wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond or not. Jensen had been pretty calm and quiet up until now so Jared just remained quiet. Jared watched as Jensen ranted and raved, guessing this was a case of a mood swing caused by the pregnancy. He'd heard his own father talking about the mood swings his mother had experienced. He really had no idea, not knowing what a non-pregnant Jensen was like.

 

Finally, Jensen wound down. He seemed to deflate as he tired out. "Can I go to my room now?" He asked, sounding small and contrite.

 

"Yeah, sure." Jared stood, helping Jensen to his feet. Jensen still clung to the vase, as if unsure what to do with it. Jared took it from him with a reassuring nod.

 

"As soon as you feel up to it, we'll take a tour through the house. I'll show you where everything is." Jared offered as he guided him out into the hall. Jared handed the offending vase to Eugene with an apologetic smile. Eugene held it away from him, but his stolid expression didn't change.

 

"I'm so sorry." Jensen cried out, tears welling in his eyes again.

 

"Not a problem Master Jensen." Eugene smiled at the man. Jared had to do a double take, he didn't remember ever seeing Eugene smiling before. Maybe Jensen didn't just affect Padalecki's. There was definitely something about Jensen that brought that out in people.

 

"I'm such a loser." Jensen muttered as they headed towards the back stairs.

 

"Jen, you're not a loser. You woke up in a strange place, with no idea where you were. You were disoriented. I shouldn't have left you. There was no reason for me to have left you. I apologize."

 

"I puked in your vase and you apologize?" Jensen looked at him disbelievingly. "Seriously, Jared?"

 

"It wasn't your fault that you couldn't figure out where the bathroom was when you were about to puke." Jared shrugged, thinking he was being reasonable. "Maybe we should get some of those puke bags that airplanes have?"

 

"Don't treat me like an imbecile!" Jensen snarled, hurrying into the room he'd used the night before and slamming the door shut. Jared heard the lock click on his own bedroom door and sighed.  
Going into the adjoining room, he called up for Charlotte to send a healthy, protein enriched snack up to Jensen and decided to leave him alone until he calmed down.

 

 

 

*******************************************

 

 

A few minutes before dinnertime, Jared knocked on the door that joined their rooms and entered his old room. Jensen looked up from the book he held, looking shocked and perplexed.  "Dinner will be ready in a few. I figured I'd show you the way to the dining room."

 

"I'm not going to dinner." Jensen replied with a stubborn set to his jaw.

 

"Jen, you need to eat and Dad wants to get to know you. It's like the rule here. Everyone eats dinner together."

 

"My name is Jensen, not Jen!" Jensen flared, slamming the book down on the bed beside him.

 

"If I promise to try to call you Jensen, will you come down for dinner?" Jared placated.

 

"I don't want to." Jensen's anger broke and he became woebegone again.

 

"Why?" Jared was completely confused and distracted now. Jensen had stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, causing Jared to restrain himself from leaning in and licking it.

 

"Your father's gonna hate me!" He wailed, tears flowing again. "I puked in his vase!"

 

Jared struggled not to laugh. "I'm sure Dad doesn't care. I've done worse things without the excuse of being pregnant and lost in the house. Hell, I've upchucked on the hall rug a few times after a bender or two. Come on, Dad's gonna be thrilled when he hears about the baby!"

 

"He will?" Somehow this seemed to peak Jensen's interest.

 

"Yeah, we gotta tell him that she's a girl and that the doctor says she's healthy." Jared grinned. "He'll be over the moon!"

 

 

 

 

"Hey Dad!" Jared called as soon as he and Jensen entered the dining  
room. Jensen stuck close to him, still fearful. "We're having a girl!"

 

"A girl?" Henry questioned, looking the nervous man over. "Isn't that rare?"

 

"Yeah, but the doc says that she's very healthy!" Jared answered as he prodded Jensen into a chair. Jensen, still skittish chose the chair farthest from Henry, leaving Jared to sit between the two, as a buffer.

 

"What about Jensen?" Henry looked straight at him. "What'd the doc say about you?"

 

"H-He g-gave me v-v-vitamins." Jensen stuttered, staring down at his plate as if wishing it would swallow him up.

 

"Doc says he's kinda anemic but, we picked up some prescriptions. The doc says that the vitamins and stuff will help him with the puking and help him put on some weight." Jared cut in, reaching over to pour some milk in Jensen's glass.

 

"So, Jensen." Henry attempted to start the man in an conversation. "What do you do? Are you studying something?"

 

"N-no, sir." Jensen glanced up at him, looking much like a startled rabbit. "I-I had a j-j-job at a b-b-book s-s-store, b-b-but I quit when I th-thought I w-was leaving."

 

"You haven't attended college?" Henry frowned, as if shocked that someone wouldn't be doing so. "What good is a job in a bookstore? Didn't you have plans on something else?"

 

"S-s-surviving Sir. Th-that w-was my plan." Jensen sat up straighter, his hackles raised Jared rolled his eyes, mentally preparing to have to break the two up as Jensen's obvious mood swings struck again. Seriously, the guy seemed to switch from a timid mouse to a snapping alligator in point two seconds. "I-I-I p-paid for my s-sisters f-fir-first year of college with th-that job! I put food on our plates and made sure the bills were paid on time. Not everyone has the money to throw away like you!"

 

"I like this kid." Henry smiled at Jared, causing Jared to blink in shock. "He's got motivation and gumption. Doesn't back down from adversity. You could learn something from this kid."

 

Jared glanced from his father to Jensen, noticing that Jensen's nervous stuttering disappeared when he got mad. Jensen was gaping at Henry, as if unsure of what to think. He'd apparently thought they were fixing to fight also.

 

"So, what field interests you? Literature?" Henry turned his full attention back to Jensen. "If you had the money to throw away, what would you study?"

 

"Math." Jensen blushed. "I like accounting. I kept the books for Mrs. Hiller at the bookstore on the stores' downtime. Did her taxes and stuff."

 

"The company is always looking for a good accountant. Perhaps, after the baby is born, you'd consider getting a degree in accounting. If you show the aptitude for it, the company would pay your tuition-" Henry held up his hand when Jensen made to protest. "with the agreement that you'd repay the tuition by working for the company.  We do it all the time with students we feel have potential."

 

"That's very generous, sir." Jensen frowned at the older man. "But....you don't know me. How do you know that I didn't rob Mrs. Hiller blind?"

 

"You're family now, Jensen. Or, you soon will be." Henry shifted so he could cast a speaking look at Jared, before continuing, "Besides, we Padalecki's have a keen sense of knowing who is the right type of people. And you just don't seem the type to cheat someone."

 

Jensen turned a frown towards Jared, his brow wrinkled in confusion. Jared inwardly groaned. This was not the conversation he was ready to get into right now.

 

"Dad! Enough already." Jared interrupted before he got off on a tangent about what he termed, 'The Padalecki Eye of Right and Wrong.'

 

"What?" Henry saw the confused expression on Jensen's face and understanding dawned. He sent a thunderous glare at Jared. "Jared Tristian Padalecki! I told you I wanted you to get this all sorted out. You need to Man-up and take responsibility for your actions! I will not have my granddaughter born a bastard!"

 

"Jared?" Jensen's voice as small and shaky as he turned wide eyes on him as Henry's meaning sunk in.

 

"Dad." Jared growled. "Jensen and I will handle this however WE decide. This is not your decision!"

 

"I won't support a bastard! I won't be the laughingstock!" Henry hissed.

 

"Dad, this isn't the 50's anymore. People really don't care whether the parents are married or not!" Jared snapped, resisting the urge to slam his fist to the table like an angry child.

 

"Not to your face, but they do consider it. You want your daughter to face the people who think she was born because her father was a slut that couldn't keep it in his pants?"

 

Jensen jumped to his feet so fast that his chair cartwheeled across the floor behind him. Tears were streaming down his face before he could make it out the door.

 

"Aww, Shit!" Jared jumped up to give chase. "Jensen!"

 

"Way to go Dad." Megan sighed from her place across from the upset chair. She'd been so quiet that everyone had forgotten she was in the room. Now that she had spoken, Jared knew that his father was about to get an earful. A pissed off Megan was a sight to behold. Assured that his father would not escape unscathed, Jared left her to deal with his father. For Jared, Jensen was his major concern.

 

 

 

***************************

 

 

An hour later, Henry knocked on the bedroom door, balancing the tray precariously in one hand. "Jensen?"

 

"He's not coming out." Jared snarked from the next doorway where he was leaning on the door-jam, arms crossed, looking pissed.

 

"Go through your connecting door." Henry suggested helpfully.

 

"Duh! I wish I'd thought of that!" Jared rolled his eyes before explaining. "He's got a chair wedged against it or something."

 

"Oh." Henry looked embarrassed. Knocking again, he called through the door. "Jensen? It's Henry. I brought you some dinner up. I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to offend you. I really wasn't calling you....a...slut. I wasn't talking about you."

 

A moment later, the door opened revealing a haggard Jensen. Jared felt horrible about how miserable Jensen looked. "Jared's really not as bad as you think he is." Jensen informed him quietly, obviously not knowing Jared was within earshot. "He's really a good guy."

 

"I know. I'm sorry." Henry pushed his way into the room to place the tray on the end of the bed. Jared edged out into the hall, curious to what they were going to say to one another, but also ready to have to break up a fight. "You need to eat. I'm sorry I ruined your dinner. Just think of me as an old man. I'm set in my ways and it'll take a while before I can mend my ways. But I'll try."

 

"Chuck may have sold me to you, but you really don't own me. You can't make me and Jared get married. And you can't buy me by bribing me with jobs." Jensen sat down wearily.

 

"I wasn't trying to buy nor bribe you. I was serious. You seem like a smart kid. You've got a bum deal in life but you could really make something of yourself with a little help. Think about it some."

 

"I will, consider it that is....if you promise to lay off of Jared and my business. What we decide is for us to decide, not you." Jensen countered firmly. Jared could tell that his father was impressed. Jensen seemed like a completely different man than the stuttering boy that had been at the dinner table earlier.

 

"Okay. I'll try to step back." Henry nodded, getting to the door before turning back to Jensen. "But you've gotta work on taking care of you and the baby. No more storming out without dinner, okay?"

 

"Give Jared a chance. He'll prove you wrong." Jensen advised without acknowledging Henry's request. Henry nodded before heading back down the hall. Jared hurried away from the doorway, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping by either man. It amazed him how much faith Jensen seemed to have in him but at the same time, it saddened him that his father seemed to have none.

 

A few moments later, Jared looked up from where he was sprawled, face down on the bed, to see Jensen at the connecting door. "Jen?"

 

"Your dad brought me a huge trayful of food. Want some? I can't eat it all and I'd kinda like the company." Jensen was looking at him with a pleading, hopeful expression. "I know you didn't have dinner either."

 

"You really want to have dinner with me?" Jared sat up, studying the nervous man.

 

"I......I'd like to get to know you better." Jensen blushed. "We're having a kid together and we don't even know one another."

 

"Okay....where do we eat?" Jared glanced around the room, he'd never really been much for wanting to eat in bed, too many crumbs to sleep in.

 

"How about a picnic on the floor?" Jensen grinned brightly and Jared couldn't resist smiling back. Taking that as a yes, Jensen motioned Jared to follow him into the other room. Grabbing a blanket from the chair in the corner, he spread it out while Jared fetched the tray. Jared noticed that Jensen was a little stiff and winced as he sat down on the floor.  "You okay Dude?"

 

"Yeah...."Jensen blushed, as he wedged a pillow under himself. "Just a little sore."

 

"Is it too soon to ask about that?" Jared questioned calmly as he began to unload the tray onto the blanket.

 

"Uh.....yeah." Jensen looked anywhere but at Jared.

 

"Okay, don't close up on me." Jared put his hands up in surrender. "I won't ask."

 

"Thanks." Jensen gave him a relieved smile. They sat in a companionable silence for a minute or two. "So what do we talk about? How much I hate your house?"

 

Jared snorted. "Yeah, I think I already know that one. Next subject?"

 

Jensen laughed. "I don't know. What would you talk about if you were on a date?"

 

"Not really one to date.   Usually just hooked up with someone I met at a party or something.  I'd just flatter you until I could get in your pants." Jared answered dryly, growing morose. "Dad was right....I am a slut."

 

"You already accomplished that, so you don't need to bother doing that. You're not a slut....you're just.......energetic. But, even if it were true, which I don' think it is, you can change if you choose to." Jensen picked a green bean out of the dish and nibbled on it. "So, if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?"

 

"One thing?" Jared swiped a spoon of stuffing as he considered it. "I guess I'd be less selfish."

 

"How so?" Jensen stole the spoon so he could get a bite of the stuffing.

 

"How I'd change?" Jared frowned, never having considered it before. "I....don't have the slightest clue. How does one attempt to be less selfish."

 

"I think you're already on the right track... with me." Jensen dipped the spoon into the stuffing and offered it to Jared.

 

"How so?" Jared threw Jensen's question back at him as he took the spoon with a grin.

 

"You've been really nice and helpful with me." Jensen picked up the fork and cut into the meat loaf. "What you did with the doctors was really great. I wouldn't have made it through it on my own."

 

"I told you I'd stick by you with this. I meant it." Jared shrugged grabbing a green bean.  "Kinda selfish in that.....I like you.  I wanna know you more.  We got a connection or something of the sort."

 

 

"Doesn't sound very selfish to me." Jensen shrugged.

 

"So.....are we like....dating here?" Jared questioned offering a green bean to Jensen who took it without thinking.

 

"Um, no." Jensen blushed as he ate the vegetable. "I just think we need to know each other a little. You don't have to try to get in my pants, Jared. You've been there, and it won't happen again. I don't want sex.....ever again." Jensen glanced up as Jared winced at his declaration and hurriedly continued. "It's not you. I know sex can be good....or people wouldn't be doing it all the time. But for me.......it's not good and I don't want it. I don't want to lead you on, making you think there's a chance for us to have a normal relationship. I'm not normal."

 

"I was really drunk that night. I don't remember it, but I could do better. Sex is good." Jared played with another green bean.

 

"For some, just not me." Jensen insisted with a stern look towards Jared.

 

Jared wanted to argue, but he could see by the stubborn set of his jaw, that Jensen wasn't going to back down on this theory. He wondered what had happened to the guy to make him so afraid of sex. He really hoped he wasn't the one to frighten him away from sex.

 

"Did......did I hurt you that badly?" He asked with a nervous swallow.

 

"No....not so bad. I don't think it would have hurt at all if we'd had lube and maybe without all the sand. I was just hoping....to have a 'good' experience with sex with you." Jensen took a sip of milk, still not looking at Jared. "Can we...change the subject?"

 

"Yeah, yeah....that'd be good." Jared nodded, eager to get off the touchy subject that didn't seem to have a happy conclusion.

 

Hoping to lighten the mood, Jared launched into a story about his friend Chad in one of his drunken activities. Soon they were laughing so hard that they had a hard time trying to eat. Jensen had a great laugh, soft, husky and carefree. Jared decided that he always wanted Jensen to laugh. He was a good looking guy already, but when he laughed, he became breathtakingly beautiful. Jared had a feeling that Jensen hadn't laughed much in his life.

 

 

 

*****************************************

 

 

 

A few hours later, Jensen was laying propped up with pillows on the bed while Jared sat on the end of the bed, still talking when there was a loud commotion out in the hall. Both men jumped up and hurried out into the hall where a high screeching voice could be heard. Jared wrapped an arm around Jensen to help balance him as they hurried down the stairs.

 

  
As they got near, the words being screeched became clearer. "You can't keep him here! He's not a fucking lapdog to be sold off! You can't keep him here! Let me in! I want to see the cock-sucker who bought my brother!"

 

"Mac?" Jensen cried out in distress as they entered the main hall where Eugene and another man, Tom, were holding a young blonde woman back at the door. For a small girl, Jared was impressed that it took two men to hold her back. Megan and Henry were hurrying in through a different doorway, everyone curious to see what the ruckus was about.

 

"Jensen!" The girl cried out, breaking free and rushing to Jensen.

 

"Mac? What are you doing here?" Jensen questioned, looking dismayed about the scene his little sister had made. Jared motioned for Eugene and Tom to back off.

 

"Did the bastard really sell you to these scum?" She attempted to remove Jareds arm from Jensen, shooting a glare at the man towering over her.

 

"Well....um....yes and no." Jensen scratched the back of his neck and looked sheepishly at the Padalecki's. "Sorry. Everyone this is my sister Mackenzie. Mac, these are the Padalecki's, Henry, Jared and Megan. This is their house you've just broken into."

 

"Chuck said he sold you!" Mac didn't take the time to look apologetic. "He said this guy got you pregnant! Jensen? Are you pregnant?"

 

"Yeah." Jensen blushed. "You're gonna have a niece.."

 

"And this guy is the father? Padalecki?" Mac glanced at Jared momentarily before she continued on with her interrogation. "Are you sure?"

 

"Geez! Why does everyone ask that?" Jensen flared, breaking free of Jared's hold finally, in order to sling his hands up in exasperation. "Why does everyone act like I'm a slut!? I swear! Jared's the only one that just...believed me. And he doesn't even remember me!"

 

"Jensen." His sister looked contrite. "I just know that-"

 

"It's Jared’s!" Jensen cut off whatever she was about to say. "I don't need any rescuing! I'm fine!"

 

"I didn't even know you could get pregnant." Mac whispered with a rueful smile on her face.

 

Jensen snorted. "Join the club!"

 

"You didn't try to get pregnant, did you?" Mac gasped. "This wasn't your plan to escape Chuck, was it?"

 

"Didn't know I could get pregnant, so wouldn't have been much of a plan." Jensen rolled his eyes. "And my plan of escape was a Greyhound bus ticket.....which I didn't get to use because Fat Connie and her Fat Mouth told Chuck I was pregnant."

 

"But....Padalecki?"

 

"It wasn't planned." Jensen sighed again. "And Jared's not a bad guy."

 

"Yeah right." Mac rolled her eyes and glared at Jared. "Then why did he buy you from Chuck?"

 

"I paid him off to go away. I know, not the best plan, but it worked....for now." Jared felt the need to explain.

 

"He'll be back. He won't let Jensen go that easily. He-" Mac began but Jensen stopped her with a foot to her shin. If it weren't for the intensity of the situation, Jared would have laughed at that sight. She turned to glare at him while rubbing her bruised appendage. Doing so, she took in her brothers attire for the first time. He was dressed in his old pajama pants, hair mussed with his glasses askew. "Holy shit, Jensen. Are you letting him screw you?! Damn it Jensen! You're just trading one bastard for another!"

 

"Shut your mouth!" Jared stepped forward, anger flaring. "You may be his sister, but I will NOT allow you to talk to him like that!"

 

"Jared...."Jensen spoke quietly, touching his elbow. "She doesn't mean it that way....."

 

"Maybe Jensen would like to talk to his sister in private?" Henry spoke up for the first time. "Jensen, would you like to take your sister up to your room, so you can discuss this with her?"

 

"Y-yes S-s-s-sir." Jensen stuttered,as if just now noticing that they still had an audience. "C-c-c-come on Mac."

 

Jared watched the two siblings climb up the stairs, wishing that he could be involved. He and Jensen had been having a great time before the disruption. He'd felt like they were actually acting like normal people, maybe making a little progress. Now Jensen was back to stuttering and looking like he wished he could be swallowed by a huge hole.

 

Later, when he retired for the night, he looked wistfully at the door between their rooms. It was firmly shut. He felt like sighing. He really wished he had the right to join them.

 

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	4. Family

Jared pecked on the door adjoining their rooms nervously. When there was no answer, he cautiously opened the door and peeked in. Jensen was curled up on the bed, fast asleep. Although the other side of the bed was rumpled, Mackenzie wasn't in sight. With a sigh of relief, Jared pushed the door open the rest of the way and quietly walked over to the bed.

   
Setting the small tray on Jensen's night table beside his glasses, he took a moment to study Jensen while he slept. Curled up on his side, a hand tucked under his cheek, he looked much younger. Mouth slack, he looked relaxed unlike Jared had ever seen him.

He had a strange urge to push his golden brown bangs back from his face. He wanted to see if his hair was as soft as it looked. Knowing better than to touch the easily frightened man, he straightened and turned to leave the room.

Mackenzie, dressed in yesterday's clothes but hair still dripping from the shower, was standing there, glaring at him. "What are you doing in here?" She whispered angrily.

 "I brought him some crackers and milk." Jared motioned to the tray before shrugging. "His stomach is really upset in the mornings. The doc suggested he try the crackers before he gets out of bed.....so I brought him some."

 Mackenzies' angry expression eased somewhat. "You are being awfully nice to him."

 "He deserves it."Jared shrugged again, offering her a sheepish smile. "Plus...I'm kinda responsible for him being sick in the mornings. It's only fair that I try to help him through it."

 "He's not as weak as people think." Mackenzie offered accusingly. "He's had a lot of shit thrown at him and he's remained strong. It hasn't broken him....completely."

 "I know." Jared nodded. "Well....I know some. I'm guessing about some, but I can see how strong he's had to be."

 "Has he told you-" Mackenzie began.

 "No. Don't say anymore." Hands up between them, Jared interrupts before she can go any further. "It's his story to tell. He'll tell me what he wants me to know, when he's ready."

 "I could-"She tries again.

 "No." Jared insists. "Jensen will tell me what he thinks I should know. Getting the story from you would be like....hiring a PI to dig into his life history. It's an invasion of privacy. I don't want to do that."

 "You guys should know that it's really rude to stand over someone to talk about them." Jensen's voice startled both of them. Jared spun around to see that Jensen was looking a little green as he lay on his side facing them. He seemed a little irritated to be the center of their conversation but there was a glint in his eye that made Jared think that he was a little bemused by them. "Mac, quit harassing Jared. Go have some breakfast, and then you're leaving. I won't let you skip class."

 "I brought you some crackers. Nibble one, like the doc said. See if it'll help." Jared hurried over to hand him a cracker as Jensen struggled to sit up. He'd lost the relaxed look but Jared didn't know if that was just the morning sickness or the fact that they were both in his room, literally arguing over them. "If it helps, then you can drink the milk with your prenatal vitamin. I put them in the bathroom cabinet. You saw that, right? Should I have put them right here so you can reach them? Maybe so you can remember to take them first thing in the morning?"

 "Dude." Jensen chuckled weakly as he accepted the cracker. "How much caffeine have you had today?"

 "None!" Jared grinned. "I decided to quit caffeine too. I figured if you had to, then I would too!"

 "So...this is you...without caffeine?" Jensen nibbled the cracker carefully.

 "Yeah, and I've been up for hours! I've already went for a run, played with my dogs and had breakfast." Jared bounced.

 "The vitamins are fine in the bathroom." Jensen gave him a weak smile, looking like he was amused by Jared's nervous babbling. He reached over and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. Jared couldn't help but smile as he set them on his face, a little crookedly. The crooked glasses and the sleep-mussed hair made him look boyish again, despite the tenseness that he wore around his mouth. "Can you show Mac where to find the kitchen? She needs to get moving so she can make it back in time for class.

 Wait....."Jensen frowned at his sister, his brow wrinkling in confusion. "How the hell did you get here?"

 "I bribed Josie to drive me here." Mackenzie shrugged.

 "And how are you getting back?"

 "Wasn't really planning that far ahead. I was just coming to....." Mackenzie let the sentence taper off.

 "Rescue me." Jensen sighed tiredly. "So how will you get back to school? I didn't work my ass off to get you to college for you to drop out or flunk out."

 "We'll get her there." Jared announced, heading to the outer door. "Come on. Lets give Jensen time to deal with his queasiness. I'll show you the kitchen."

 "Stay with him, or you'll get lost and we'll find your rotting corpse a century from now." Jensen snarked before muttering loudly to himself, "I hate this damn house."

 "Is he always this cranky in the mornings, or is it just the lack of caffeine?" Jared asked as they headed out of the room. There was a soft thwack as a bed pillow hit the doorframe beside Jared's head. He let out a guffaw and sent Jensen a grin.

 "He's unbearable until he's had half a pot of coffee. I don't know how he's managing to go without. He'll end up committing murder before the baby is here."

 "I heard that!" Jensen yelled from the bed.

 Jared sat across from Maczenzie as she ate her breakfast, eyeing her warily. After a couple of bites, she met his gaze. "You know, if you do anything to hurt him, all your money will not be able to save you from me."

 "I don't plan on hurting Jensen." He said for what felt like the millionth time.

 "He's too trusting about you. I don't understand it, but he is." Mackenzie pointed at him with her fork.

 "He needs someone he can trust. I'm trying to be worthy of the trust." Jared wondered who would come out alive if she and Megan got into a fight. Anytime before this, he'd have laid odds on his sister, but after seeing Mackenzie in action, he wasn't so sure.

 "Why? Do you think you have an easy lay with him? I know he's beautiful, but that doesn't mean-" Mackenzie's pretty features were contorted with anger as she snarled at him.

 "It's not like that with us." Jared cut her off. "Jensen has enough to deal with right now, he doesn't need us getting involved that way."

 "Obviously you were involved like that a couple of months ago." Mackenzie snapped.

 "Yeah.....it was a mistake. We didn't know he could get pregnant. I'm not regretting it, I'm proud that he's having my daughter." Jared held his head up, not willing to apologize to Jensen's sister.

 "But you....don't want to sleep with him now?"

 "Ah.....yeah, I do....but not right now. Jensen's gonna have a rough time of it with this pregnancy. Us getting involved can wait until we know each other better....see if we can make it work."

 "You know that you've virtually killed him, right?" Mackenzie shoved her plate away, ill-tempered. "My brother is going to die a few months from now and it's your fault! He's going to die because you fucked him."

 "He's not going to die." Jared clamored, pounding his fist on the table. "We've got a good doctor and he's gonna survive. They both are."

 "You rich people think you can buy your way out of everything. Death can not be bribed." Mac spat out at him.

 "It has nothing to do with my father's money. The doctor says that more men are surviving the male birthing now. I'm gonna take good care of Jensen and make sure he's healthy enough to make it through. We're doing everything we can that will help."

 "You sound like you.....care about him? Seriously? You really kinda sound like you do." Mackenzie scrunched her face up, as if confused about this idea. As she did so, Jared realized how very much she looked like Jensen. Her hair was lighter and her features were more feminine, but she really did look very much like Jensen.

 "Yeah....yeah I do. I've never felt so....drawn to someone. Never felt the desire to do everything I can to make another person happy before. I've been mostly selfish all my life. But....with Jensen....I do. I know, it sounds weird....but I feel.....connected to him. Not just about the baby. I want to....protect him."

 "He's tough...but he needs protecting." Mackenzie warned, sounding ominous, before forcing a small smile on her pretty face. "You seem like a good guy. I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you."

 "You were worried about your brother...I understand." Jared shrugged. "Speaking of worried. Since you're not eating, wanna go say goodbye to Jensen so we can get you back to school. He's not going to stop fretting until you do."

 "Yeah....okay." Mackenzie stood up. Jared picked up the tray he'd asked Charlotte make for Jensen and they walked back up to the room companionly.

 "Hey....how ya feeling?" Jared asked as they entered the bedroom. He carried the tray over to the bedside table, careful not to spill the orange juice. Jensen grimaced at the sight of the food, but didn't say anything against it.

 "Still feel awful, but I'm not puking my guts up, so life is good." Jensen offered a wan smile. He'd obviously been up out of the bed because Jared noticed he no longer sported bed-head and his glasses had been righted. More lines of stress had replaced the pillow marks, making Jared wish there was something he could do to sooth away the stress.

 "Well, that's good!" Jared beamed. "See that doc is pretty smart!"

 "We'll see." Jensen grinned back happily.

 "Yeah, well.....Mackenzie is ready to go, so I'm gonna run her back to school. You need anything before we go?"

 "Nah....I'm good." His smile falters a bit as the words sunk in. "Wait.....You're taking her back to school?"

 "Yeah." Jared shrugs, unsure what to read in Jensen's confused expression. "How else will she get back?"

 "I don't know." Jensen plucks at the edge of his blanket. "Just seems above and beyond the call of duty, man. I mean....I can understand you feeling it necessary to take care of me. I mean, I'm carrying your kid. But....I was just expecting you to dump her off at the bus station or something."

 "The bus would take half the night to get there. She'd miss all of today and tomorrow’s morning classes. I can get her there before her first class, at noon." Jared shrugged. "I don't mind."

 "Wow.....I'm gonna owe you something big, aren't I?" Jensen looks at Jared with a peculiar look that Jaredreally can't decipher.

 "No?" Jared tilts his head, looking at Jensen and trying to understand what is going through his head. He had a bad feeling that whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. "Uh...I'll go bring the car around front while you say your goodbyes."

 

 ******************************

 

 

 

They were twenty miles away when Mackenzie sighed. "He'll try to do something stupid to repay you for this."

"I was kinda thinking he might." Jared nodded, glancing over at his passenger worriedly. "So, what degree of stupidity will it be? Any idea?"

"It'll be a big one." Mackenzie exhaled, as if exasperated. Jared didn't like her tone, it made a heavy sense of dread settle in his stomach. "Whatever it is....don't let him do it. Whatever it is will not be what he really wants and then he'll feel obligated to continue doing it whenever you do him a favor."

"Sounds like you think you know what he'll do." Jared squinted at her, as if trying to get her to fess up, not sure if he wanted her to tell him.

"No...but I can guess." Mackenzie hinted with a tumultuous grimace.

"But you don't want to tell me?" Jared acknowledged, filled with trepidation.

"No, I don't think I want to tell you. Just, promise me, you won't allow him to do whatever he attempts."

"Yeah, if it's not good for Jensen, I won't allow it." Jared agreed with a sense of foreboding that didn't sit well with him.

 

**********************************

 

 

"Hey Eugene. Is everyone already in the dining room?"

"Master Henry and Miss Megan are. Master Jensen has announced that he's not hungry and won't be coming down."

"He's up in his room?" Jared glanced at the stairs, as if able to see the man in question from where he stood.

"Master Jensen hasn't come down today. Charlotte had me take him his lunch tray when he didn't appear at the noon hour." Eugene answered stiffly, but Jared caught the concern in his eyes.

"Hmm..I'll go see if I can convince him to join everyone." Jared headed upstairs quickly.

"I'll advise your father, sir." Eugene informed him, sounding relieved.

 

 **************************************

 

"Jensen?" Jared pecked on the door as he opened it. Jensen was sitting at the window, staring out and looking forlorn. He turned to watch Jared enter the room. "Why aren't you going downstairs for dinner?"

"I'd rather not." Jensen mumbled, avoiding meeting Jared's eye as he picked at the hem of his shirt. With a heavy sigh, Jared plopped down on the bed facing Jensen.

"Eugene says you haven't left the room today. Why?" Jared waited for an answer, but Jensen simply shrugged. "You planning on becoming a hermit?"

"No." Jensen mumbled. "I just don't like this house. It's too big. I get lost and then feel stupid."

"It'll get easier. What about dinner?" Jared prompted. "I'm here, I'll make sure you don't get lost."

"I...I'd rather not. Didn't work out too well last night." Jensen answered with a shaky wince.

"Dad'll be better tonight. I had a serious talk with him last night after Mac showed up. He promises to tone it down a bit." Jared wheedled.

Jensen frowned, growing pale. "About Mac.....I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry she caused such a ruckus and I'm really sorry you had to take her back to school. I really appreciate that you did, Jared."

"Not a problem. We got to talk on the way. She's a good kid. Really smart cookie, I'm thinking."

"Yeah. She is." Jensen agreed, rising and coming over to Jared. He fidgeted a moment before dropping to his knees before Jared, his hands on Jared's thighs. Jared studied his unnaturally white face with a return of his previous dread.

"What are you doing, Jensen?" He asked, but he knew exactly what Jensen was trying to do.

"I-I-I'm g-g-gonna g-give you a b-blow j-j-j-job." Jensen replied, his hands moving to Jared's zipper, attempting to work his jeans open.

"Whoa!" Jared scooted back on the bed, away from Jensen's questing hands. "What's this?"

"I-I-I'm really g-g-good at blow jobs. You'll l-l-like it, I swear!" Jensen insisted, rising a little in attempt to capture Jared's fastenings again. Jared scooted farther, catching the edge of the bed and nearly falling over the side. He didn't have the time nor the desire to think about how Jensen believed he was good at blow jobs when he'd been adamant about not being interested in sex. It brought on a queasy reminder of the doctor's office and the splinters.

"Jen! No!" Jared cried out, scrambling to his feet on the other side of the bed. He was breathing heavily and his dick was rock hard, but somehow he knew this wasn't right. Jensen was deathly pale, a very odd, blank expression on his face. "What happened to you not being interested in sex?"

"It's just a blow job.....not sex." Jensen cocked his head to one side, as if studying Jared. "Doctor Morgan said I shouldn't have sex right now, so I can't do that.....but I'm really good at blow-jobs."

"Jensen? You want to give me a blow job?" Jared was confused. Horny, but confused as he studied the other man, feeling sick to his stomach over this whole situation. "Wait.....you don't want to have sex with me. You're offering me a blow job as repayment for me dropping you sister off!" Jared began pacing the room, making sure to keep the furniture between himself and Jensen as if the frail man might jump him. He stopped and ran an aggravated hand through his messy locks. "Shit! What the hell are you gonna offer me when I tell you I gave her sixty bucks?"

If it were even possible, Jensen paled even more as he swallowed roughly. He stared, wide eyed, at Jared. "I don't have anything else." He finally admitted, slumping dejectedly on the bed.

"Good, because I don't want anything from you." Jared told him softly, joining him by sitting beside him on the bed. "If I do something, it's because I want to.....not for some sort of payment. Certainly not to force some sort of sex from you."

"Everybody wants something, Jared." Jensen's voice was deep, as if he was choking on emotions. "And you like sex."

"Not like this." Jared shook his head. "I want you, but not for something you think needs restitution. I want you to want....me."

"I can't take your charity." Jensen sighed. "There has to be something you want."

"It's not charity." Jared argued, but knew that Jensen would fret over this if he didn't come up withsomething. "Okay.....you can repay me by joining us at dinner....every night.....for a week. No excuses."

"That's worth sixty bucks and a road trip to you?" Jensen asked incredulously.

"Yup. Take it or leave it. That's my deal." Jared offered his hand out for Jensen to seal the deal by shaking. Jensen studied him nervously, as if looking for some sort of deception in Jared's face.

"O-Okay." He took the offered hand and shook it.

"Well, lets go then." Jared levered them both off the bed and pulled Jensen out of the room, keeping hold of his hand all the way to the dining table.

 

 **********************************************

 

Jensen was literally shaking as he slid into his seat beside Jared. He glanced nervously at Henry who tried to greet him warmly, then stared down at his plate, as if he were about to enter the gallows. Megan noted this, sent a questioning look at her brother before dragging the reluctant pregnant man into a conversation about his sister and her studies.

With the chance to brag about his sister, the only good thing in his life, Jensen relaxed and answered Megan's questions with almost eagerness as he dug heartily into his meal. Henry observed this a few moments before turning to his son to converse. Jared sent a grateful smile to his sister before throwing himself into the discussion with his father. He kept a keen ear on Jensen, wanting to soak up every bit of information that Jensen wanted to divulge.

Before long, dinner was finished and Jensen was licking the last bit of whipped cream from his strawberry shortcake off his spoon before setting it down and leaning back, obviously pleasantly full.

 

"Wow." Megan shook her head, having only picked at the strawberries on her shortcake. "I think you eat as much has Jared!"

"He's got a mini-Jared in there!" Jared laughed. "He's got a lot of baby to feed!"

"Oh lord." Henry moaned dramatically. "Another Jared to feed?"

"Jaredina." Jensen corrected with a bright smile. Seeing that smile, Jared felt his heart skid to a stop. He swallowed roughly as he stared at Jensen's mouth stretched into that heavenly smile. As if sensing his gaze, Jensen turned his attention to him, the smile fading a bit as their eyes met. Jared felt a throb of longing pulse through his entire body. He wanted that smile aimed at him more often, perhaps even all the time.

Pulling his gaze from those clear green orbs, Jared pushed back from his chair. "Would you like to see the gardens? You've been cooped up all day, some fresh air might do you some good."

"Y-yeah." Jensen nodded, allowing Jared to pull out his chair. Jensen was flushed and apprehensive but he didn't pull away as Jared took his hand. Politely, Jensen bid goodbye to the remaining occupants in the room before allowing Jared to pull him out of the room. As they exited, Jared caught the knowing looks that passed between his father and sister.

Jared was silent as they strolled through the rows of flowers. "Jared?" They'd made it past the rows of lilies and peonies when Jensen finally broke the quiet with a hesitant question.

"Hmm?" Jared turned to look at the man beside him. A strange sensation ran through him as he looked at the beautiful, concerned face.

"Wh-what's going on?"

"Going on?" Jared queried, trying to buy himself some time. "We're walking through the garden. This was Mom's pride and joy. She'd spend hours deciding where to put each and every plant. She planted the first one when she was pregnant with me. She said it was soothing. I used to hang out here with her. Now, I like coming out here, makes me feel like she's still nearby."

"Jared." Jensen's no-nonsense voice broke into his babbling.

"I don't know what's going on." Jared confessed with a heavy sigh. "This is all very new to me. I've.....never.....courted anyone before."

 

"And...you're courting me?" Jensen repeated, sounding shocked.

"Yeah?" Jared answered, sounding more questioning then sure. "I mean.....I think I am. I don't know, Jensen. I just.......feel......I don't know.......like there's something about you that's special. Something I want to know and have."

"I'm not special." Jensen disagreed with a firm shake of his head. "We just got caught by fate. Biology....nothing special."

"I admit, I've never felt this way before, but I know what it is." Jared smiled ruefully. "I got caught by fate, alright. I think I'm destined to fall in love with you. I've never........ever.....wanted to.....before."

"Love." Jensen scoffed, moving to pull his hand away, but Jared held tight.

"You don't believe in it?" Jared pulled on Jensen's arm until he finally spun to face him. "You don't feel some sort of pull towards me?"

 

"No....I don't believe in love. At least not for me. I don't deserve it. I'm.....all wrong. Messed up." Jensen sounded like he was really trying to convince himself as much as Jared.

 

Jared let out a belly-laugh. "And you think I'm not messed up? I've never had a serious relationship in my life. Never wanted to see anyone for more than one date, enough time to get my rocks off. Then here you come.....making me want to touch you all the time." He lifted their joined hands in example.

 

"Jared....you've known me for all of two days. You can't seriously think it's anything more than......desire." Jensen frowned at their joined hands but made no move to pull free.

 

"I admit....I thought that's all it was. I thought it was just chemistry." Jared shrugged, turning, he pulled Jensen along with him again. "But then...you smiled earlier....and it hit me."

 

"What hit you?" Jensen questioned, hurrying to keep up with Jared's longer strides.

 

"That I want to spend all of my time......seeing you smile. Making you smile like that.....at me." Jared realized that he was nearly dragging Jensen and forced himself to slow down to a leisurely stroll.

 

"Jared." Jensen sighed tiredly. "It's no good."

 

"Why?" Jared frowned "Why can't we try?"

 

"Because....you're all about sex and I hate sex!" Jensen cried out. "Because I don't-" He stopped himself, biting his bottom lip.

 

"What?"Jared probed. "You don't what?"

 

"Because I don't deserve any of this! Maybe they're right! Maybe I should get an abortion and be on my way."

 

"It's too late for that." Jared shook his head, knowing Jensen was just upset, he wasn't seriously considering an abortion. "Whether there's a baby or not....I want to give this a try. I think we could be good together. I think we're good for one another!"

 

"You seriously want to start a relationship with someone who doesn't want sex?" Jensen frowned.

 

"Right now....it's not about sex." Jared admitted. "I want to get to know you. I want to see if this can go somewhere between us. We obviously felt a mutual attraction before. We're doing this all backwards, but I seriously want to court you now....go on dates with you."

 

"Yeah, puking my guts out all the time, I'm a real great catch!" Jensen snarked turning to look away from Jared. "You seriously don't think sex is important? You're....Jared....you have sex all the time...with all kinds of people. Couldn't you try this courting thing with someone who's interested in sex with you?"

 

"I think you'll eventually get to where you want sex." Jared admitted. "After the baby and all this. When you're in love with me, you'll want sex."

 

"You think I'm going to be in love with you?" Jensen sent him an unbelieving look, arching one brow in question.

 

"Hell yeah! I'm very lovable!" Jared grinned his very best and brightest grin, knowing that it was infectious. As expected, Jensen grinned back. Unable to stop himself, Jared leaned forward and captured Jensen's full lips with his own. It started as a simple kiss, but when Jensen didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss. He licked at the seam of Jensen's lips, begging for entrance. With a quiet whimper, Jensen opened up to let him in. Jared wasted no time delving into that sweet mouth, tangling his tongue with Jensens'. He wanted to press himself against Jensen's pliant form, but resisted, knowing that what little he was doing was already freaking Jensen out.

 

Jensen finally pulled back, breathing hard. He raised a hand to press against his red, kiss-swollen lips as he looked at Jared with bewildered eyes. "J-Jared?"

 

"Wow! That was like kissing the sun....but hotter!" Jared gasped, his eyes never leaving those lips. Not wanting to push him any farther, he took Jensen's hand and began pulling him through the garden again, telling him little bits about the garden and stories about things that had happened there. Soon Jensen relaxed so much as to lean against him as he grew weary. Jared knew he should take him back to his room but he couldn't, not yet.

 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

 

"I'd like it if the two of you would consider attending a Male Birthing Workshop." Dr. Morgan leaned back on the sofa and eyed the two men. It was their second appointment and it'd started just like the previous one, sitting and talking with the doctor instead of going straight to the exam.  
"Workshop?" Jared repeated, glancing at Jensen to see what his reaction was. Jensen looked a little confused, but didn't look adverse to the idea.  
"A group of gentlemen who are in very simular situations and some who have already been through it. We meet every other Saturday. Sometimes we go over what you're to expect. Sometimes we have guests who talk about their experiences. It's a good way for you to work out some of your concerns and questions. Meet some other guys who are in the same boat."

"Are we gonna do a bunch of hugging and crying.....touchy-feely stuff?" Jared scoffed.  
"Only if you chose to." Dr. Morgan chuckled. "Sometimes, with the amount of hormone levels shooting up, it happens, but it's not a requirement for the workshop."

"What do you think, Jen?" Jared turned to Jensen who was pressed snuggly against his side, picking nervously at his sleeve.

"Jensen." He corrected automatically, with no real irritation. "I think I'd like to try it."

"Good! I'll get Abs to give you the information. " Dr. Morgan clapped his hands together as he rose. "Anything else you'd like to discuss before we head into the exam room?"

Since neither of them did, they followed the doctor to the exam room where he handed Jensen a gown. "You know the routine, put your ball gown on and hop up on the podium."

Jensen gave the doctor a questioning look but smiled. Jared liked how easily Jensen had warmed up to the doctor. He had hardly stuttered at all when talking in the office.

"He feels comfortable with you." Jared stated when the door shut behind Jensen.

"I'm glad. I was afraid he'd have a nervous breakdown last time."

"Dr. Morgan.....I wasn't the one that hurt Jensen."Jared felt the need repeat himself. "And I'm not going to let anyone hurt him again, including you. I'll be with him every step of the way during this."

"Call me Jeff." the doctor offered a charismatic smile, his dark eyes sparkling warmly. "I can see how much you care for the kid. I'm glad he has you."

"Dr.......Jeff," Jared shifted from one foot to the other, uncomfortably. "Jensen's been treated real bad in the past. He's afraid of sex. He seems to think of it as a....chore."

"The you'll have to be patient with him. He trusts you, just don't do anything to break that trust." Dr. Jeff answered with a sad smile, as if he already knew. Jared grimaced, of course he knew. He'd been the one to examine Jensen. He'd seen more of the evidence than Jared had.

"I kissed him last week." Jared confessed. "And he didn't seem to have a problem with it."

"That's good. Think of him like a feral animal......go slow and no sudden movements and he might come to you." Was the doctors sagely advice.

"I like that idea." Jared nodded. "Slow is good."

 

 

"Jensen? Have you been using the antibiotic cream like I told you?" Dr. Morgan asked with a frown from where he was examining Jensen.

"uh....n-n-n-no." Jensen had his face turned against the wall, but Jared could see him flushing a deeper red.

"Why not? You're not going to heal up if you don't use the cream." Dr. Morgan pulled out a tube of the cream.

"I-I c-c-can't d-d-do it." Jensen sounded like he was sobbing.

"Jensen....you need to apply the cream, twice a day. It'd nearly be healed up by now if you had." Dr. Morgan sighed. "I realize it's uncomfortable, but it's worth it to have this healed up. It's not good for you nor the baby for you to have this infection.

"I-I-I c-c-can't r-r-reach it."Jensen whimpered and Jared could tell that he was close to freaking out.

"I....I can help." Jared offered in a small voice. He was sure that Jensen wouldn't go for it, but it needed to be done. "Or I can hire a nurse to come apply it?"

  
"No!" Jensen attempted to jerk up but Dr. Morgan placed a hand on his midsection to keep him in his inert position. "No, nurse! I d-d-don't w-want s-s-s-ome s-s-stranger...."

"If you can't do it and you don't want a nurse, then that leaves me." Jared informed him, his voice sounding a little rough to his own ears. "We've gotta get you healed up before it makes you sick.....or the baby." Jared knew that suggesting that Jensen was endangering the baby was a low blow but he had to do it.

"Isn't there a p-p-pill I c-can t-t-take?" Jensen whined petulantly.

"No, Jensen. Not with you being pregnant. We need you and the baby has healthy as possible to minimize the risks of a troublesome birth." Dr. Morgan explained gently. "Can you allow Jared to help you?"

Jensen turned his tear-streaked face to Jared, his eyes sliding over every part of his face. Jared used his thumb to brush the tears away, wishing Jensen had felt comfortable enough to come to him with this. He would have done anything and everything he could to save him this pain and embarrassment. He sincerely regretted not checking to see if he had been using the cream. "Y-y-yeah."

"Good." Dr. Morgan nodded. "Jared, come over here and I'll walk you through this."

Jared could see Jensen's entire body tense at the doctors words. Jared walked over to the doctor, running his hand along Jensen's arm and capturing his hand in his. Jensen gripped his hand tightly, but his body relaxed a hair.

"Jensen, you need to relax, or it'll be painful. Relax. If you fight it, it'll hurt worse. If you relax, Jared will be done in less than an moment and you'll be on your way to recovery."

"I'm t-t-trying." Jensen sniffed and Jared could see him fighting his body to relax.

"Okay, Jared. "Dr. Morgan began to explain. Jared eyes were drawn to Jensen's reddened hole. The doctor had covered his genitals with a sheet to give him a tad bit of privacy. "This is simular to prepping your lover. Imagine this is lube. You want to cover your entire finger with the cream. Insert it very gently, as his rectum is very inflamed from the infection. Once inside, try to turn your finger in all directions, trying to get the cream as far around as possible. When you extract the finger, smear any of the residual cream on his rectum."

Jared couldn't help but feel a little turned on at seeing the doctor's finger entering Jensen as he walked him through the procedure. He wondered how he was going to manage to be the one actually touching him, twice a day without wanting to jump his bones. Jared felt his face grow hot as he stepped away from the doctor, his fingers still clenched in Jensen's grasp.

 

 

Jared waited until they were out in the car to question Jensen. "Why didn't you tell me you were having problems with the cream? I would have helped you."

"I thought I could do it."Jensen shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

"You're afraid, if I get you in that position, I won't keep my promise?" Jared questioned quietly.

"What? No! No.....you promised and I believe you. You won't do anything to hurt the baby." Jensen spun in the seat to face him, looking completely shocked.

"I promised that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." Jared corrected, not sure why he felt the need to do so.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

It wasn't mentioned again for the rest of the day, but Jared didn't forget. Long after dinner, when Jensen had crawled into bed, Jared entered his bedroom through their connecting door. Jensen started, turning over to watch him walk through the room and enter the bathroom. After a little bit of rifling, Jared returned, heading straight for Jensen's bed with his arms full of stuff. Jensen clutched the blanket to his chest, as if the thin blanket would protect him.

"Wh-what's going on?"

"I'm here to play doctor with you!" Jared joked, hoping it would put Jensen at ease. It failed miserably.

"N-now?"

"Twice a day." Jared nodded, spreading the stuff out on the foot of the bed.  
"I-I-I d-d-don't think.......we don't need to...."Jensen swallowed roughly, paling once again.

"Yeah, we do. Doctor Jeff said twice a day. He did it this morning, I'm gonna do it now." Jared informed him in a voice that told him that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"J-j-ared....I don't wanna-"Jensen argued.

"Look Jensen." Jared cut him off, sounding a little angry. "I promised you that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, and that includes you. Either it's me or I hire a nurse. You said you didn't want a stranger and that you trusted me. Which is it? Me or a nurse?"

"Y-y-y-you." Jensen released the blanket with a sigh.

"Okay then." Jared nodded, now that the opposition was over, he wasn't sure how to do it. "You wanna pull your britches down while under the blanket?"

"Yeah...." Jensen squirmed around a bit under the blanket, working his sweats and underwear down to his ankles. When he was done, Jared handed him a clean hand towel. "What's this for?"

"To cover your junk with, unless you don't care if I see it." Jared explained with a wink.

Blushing, Jensen accepted the towel, reaching under the blanket to tuck himself out of sight. When he was done, Jared peeled the blanket back and away. Glancing at the puckered hole that he was about to stick his finger in, he slid a latex glove over his hand and put the antibiotic cream on one finger.

He swallowed roughly, reminding himself that he was doing this to help Jensen. He reached down and ran the tip of his finger over the pucker, seeing and feeling Jensen tense. He circled the pucker slowly feeling it twitch and Jensen's whole body tense even more.

"Shhh!" Jared murmured, placing his other hand on the slight swell of Jensen's stomach. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just putting medicine in you." Slowly, ever so slowly, he breached Jensen with his finger, twisting his finger to smear the cream around his tight passage. Thinking that he'd once done this for another reason made his cock twitch. Through the thin latex, he could feel how tight and hot Jensen was and it made him fight for breath. Pulling his finger out slowly, he cleared his throat and turned away. "Okay....all done."

Jensen didn't answer, but his eyes were drawn to the bulge in Jareds' pants.

"I'll see you in the morning." Jared grabbed the stuff and hurried out of the room, slamming the connecting door shut behind him.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

After several days of it, touching Jensen so intimately didn't get any easier for Jared. He still had to leave the room so hard and turned on that he thought his wrist would fall off as often as he had to get himself off in the privacy of his bathroom. Jensen, on the other hand, relaxed. His body was pliant and he was able to attempt to engage Jared in some sort of inane conversation. Jared didn't feel like much of a conversationalist during this, but Jensen didn't seem to be offended by the grunts he got for replies.

 What did seem to bother Jensen, was the way his body was suddenly changing at a rapid pace. What had just been a slight swell, was suddenly a very pronounced stomach. Jared insisted that it looked good, it meant that he was actually keeping some food down. Jensen insisted that Charlotte was really a witch trying to make him fat so she could turn him into a roast. Jared made a point to tell Charlotte this, in front of Jensen, just so he could see him blush.

"Hey." Jared entered Jensen's room hesitantly. Jensen set the book he'd been reading aside and placed it on the table. Jared did a double take, seeing wire rimmed glasses perched on his nose. Jensen rarely wore his glasses and for some reason, it never failed to turn Jared on. He fared no better this time. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, but didn't say anything.

"Was there something you wanted Jared?" Jensen glanced at the clock. "It's a little early to drag me down for dinner, right?"

"Um...no...." Jared felt nervous. "Well, you see.....today's my birthday...."

"OH!" Jensen looked shocked. "I didn't know! Happy Birthday!"

"Well, yeah....my friends are throwing me a party-"

"I can make it downstairs to dinner without getting lost now. You don't have to worry about me." Jensen cut in, eager to assure him. "Go to your party! Have fun!"

"I, uh, wantyoutogowifme."

"What?" Jensen cocked his head to the right, studying Jared in a cute, confused way. "I didn't get that."

"I want you to go with me." Jared forced himself to slow down. Instead, he bounced from one foot to the other.

"I'm not too good at parties. Really, Jared, you don't have to entertain me. I'm good here on my own for the night." Jensen smiled at Jared as if he thought he were a four year old doing something cute. "I'll make it down to dinner. I promise not to fight with your father. I'll wear ear plugs if need be."

"No....really. I want you to go with me. Meet my friends."

"You want to introduce me to your friends?" Jensen rubbed the small mound that had become his belly in the last week, nervously.

"Yeah?" Jared questioned, unsure why Jensen seemed so surprised. He thought they'd been getting along pretty well in the last few days.

"As what? Your Brood Mare? The guy that trapped you by getting knocked up?" Jensen's words are harsh, but Jared can see the uncertainty and fear in his eyes.

"How about my friend?" Jared offers, wishing he could offer "boyfriend". He already knew more about Jensen then he knows about people he grew up with, and wants to know more.

"They won't like me." Jensen shakes his head, getting up to pace the room.

"Why would you say that?"

"I've met most of your friends before. They didn't like me, then and they definitely won't like me now." Jensen rubbed his stomach again, Jared realized the action was a way to comfort himself.

"I'd really like for you to come with me.....it's my birthday....I want to spend it with you." Jared wheedled. "It can be my birthday present from you."

Jensen paused in his pacing to turn and look at him. "Seriously?"

"What?"Jared grinned.

"You see me everyday...all day long and that's what you want for your birthday? To hang out with me?" Jensen gave him a shy smile still looking like he was having a hard time believing him.

"Yeah!" Jared grabbed at his hand. "Come on, get dressed!"

"I....don't have anything to wear." Jensen's smile faded, pulling his hand away from Jared to rub self-consciously at his stomach again. "Nothing fits."

"Wow!" Jared looked down at Jensen's stomach. "I hadn't noticed that you were out of clothes. I guess we should go shopping for you some maternity clothes?" He grinned when Jensen blushed and ducked his head. "But that won't help tonight, huh?" Taking Jensen's hand, he yanked him into the adjoining bedroom and threw open his closet. "Let's find you something of mine that'll fit ya, Tubby."

"I'm pregnant and fixing to wear your regular clothes, and you call me tubby?" Jensen countered teasingly.

"Ouch, you got me there." Jared pretended to grab his heart, as if shot. "Can't help it, it's genetics. Mutant DNA or something. You should see my older brother or my cousin Skip."

"Am I really fat?" Jensen's smile faded, looking at his reflection in the closet mirror with watery eyes.

"Not fat, pregnant." Jared reached out and touched his protruding stomach reverently. "With my daughter." He husked, instantly rewarded with one of the sweetest smiles he'd ever seen.

Jensen was very temperamental about what he would or would not wear of Jareds. He refused to wear any of Jared's personal favorites, his pink button-ups nor any of his paisley prints. After much bickering, they finally found something they agreed on. A pair of Jared's basketball shorts and a long shirt that fit and covered Jensen's stomach. Jensen still looked trepidacious, but he willingly went along when Jared took his arm.

He had a case of nerves when it came time to get out of the car at the beach where the party was already throbbing. Jared came around and opened his door, offering him his hand.

After a moments hesitation, Jensen clasped it tightly, reminding Jared just how scared he was. "Don't worry. They're a bunch of douches, but they're not that bad....mostly."

Holding tightly to Jensen's hand, Jared maneuvered them through the crowd, using his height to search out his quarry. Chad's place looked pretty much the same as it always did during his parties. When you looked past the hordes of people, it was a mess. Beer cans and bottles lined every available surface, and most of these weren't even from tonight's party. Chad wasn't too keen on cleaning up after himself and his housekeepers kept quitting.

"It's about time you showed yourself, Asswipe!" Chad yelled at him when he spotted them.

"Hey, the guest of honor always needs to show up late to make an entrance." Jared stated with mock haughtiness, his mile-wide grin ruined the effect. He pulled Jensen up to stand beside him. . "I want you to meet someone. Chad, this is Jensen. Jen, this is Chad, King of the Douchbags!"

"Whoa!" Chad turned his squinty gaze on Jensen, giving him his full attention. "You brought a date?"

"Um....yeah." Jared grinned brightly, realizing that was, in fact, what he had done. He could understand Chad's shock. Jared had never brought a date to a party. He usually just hooked up with someone who caught his eye at the party.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Chad's blue eyes raked over Jensen, as if trying to place him.

"I-I've been here b-before." Jensen admitted, leaning into Jared ever so slightly. Jared doubted that anyone even noticed the slight shift besides him.

"Really?" Chad nodded with a shrug, obviously not remembering him. "Okay, the party can begin now!" He yelled out into the crowd. The music was so loud that only the closest guests even paid any attention, but it was enough to have people clamoring for Jared's attention.

"Drinks?" Mike suddenly appeared at their side, placing a clear fizzing drink in Jensen's hand. Jensen looked at the drink warily before Jared grabbed it from his hand.

"Never accept a drink from Mike!" He warned Jensen with a playful glare at Mike who grinned. "Haven't we discussed what can happen when you get your drinks from Mike?

"Ah, Jare! I'm just trying to enlighten the new guy! I can see he needs to loosen up a bit." Mike eyed Jensen speculatively. Jensen beamed back, obviously understanding that Mike was just a goof, and generally harmless.

"No drinks for Jensen." Jared warned him quietly before adding with a touch of pride. "He's pregnant, he's as loose as he needs to be right now."

"Wow!" Mike gasped, his eyes going to Jensen's stomach and then to Jared with understanding. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, but we're not announcing it just yet, so zip it." Jared cringed, wondering if telling Mike was a smart idea.

"I'll get you something...safe." Mike offered Jensen. "Soda? No caffeine? I can do that." Without waiting for an answer, Mike retreated into the house. A few moments later he returned with the promised soda, the can still safely unopened, and presented it to Jensen with a flourish as if he had just done something fabulous. Jensen laughed enthusiastically as he accepted the soda.

They'd been there two hours when Jensen began to tire. He finally braved the elements enough to release his death grip on Jared's arm and find a seat to rest in while Jared chatted with friends. Jared kept him in his line of sight the entire time, watching as Jensen seemed to entertain himself watching the drunken antics around him with an occasional visit from Mike.

Jared was usually the life of the party, downing drinks held in both hands. Tonight, he had been nursing the same drink that he'd liberated from Jensen. He wasn't having fun like he'd had in the past. More than once, he caught himself wishing that he was sitting at home watching the television with Jensen or just talking with Jensen like they'd been doing every night.

"Jay-red!" Will came barreling over, knocking Jared off balance and blocking his view of Jensen.

"Dude!" Jared laughed, momentarily distracted by his old friend. When he next looked at the couch, Jensen's spot was empty. A rush of fear ran through him. Worriedly, he glanced around, spotting Mike in the far corner, but no Jensen. He quickly excused himself and went in search of the other man.

By the time he'd searched the house, with Mike's help, there was still no sight of Jensen and Jared was near frantic. He rushed out onto the beach, wondering where Jensen had wandered off to. He spotted Jensen a few feet away and let out a breath of relief as he hurried over to where Jensen seemed to be engaged in a conversation with Dave and Justin.

Although he wasn't what he called 'friends' with Dave and Justin, he'd known them for a long time. Dave was built like the typical high school football player and still had the attitude that he'd acquired during school. Justin didn't have the build, but he had the attitude to make up for it.

His relieved smile faded as he heard the tense edge to Jensen's voice. "Leave me alone! I'm not interested."

"Of course you're interested. I saw you rolling around in the sand with Padalecki before. You're a cock-slut. With that gorgeous mouth of yours, I bet you're a great cock-sucker." Justin was edging closer to Jensen who was trapped between the two men and the stone wall that separated Chad's house from the beach.

"You have to be a pro for Jared to come back for seconds." Dave added with a leer.

"Come on, I wanna feel those lips wrapped around my cock. Or maybe go deep inside your hole. You're such a cock whore, I bet you'd be in heaven with my cock in your mouth while Dave slams into your ass. Is that how you like it?" Justin was looming over Jensen, enjoying the fear he was invoking in the other man. Jared had never realized that Justin was all that tall, but he seemed to be towering over Jensen who was a rather tall guy himself. Stepping closer, Jared realized that Justin wasn't all that much taller than Jensen. Jensen was recoiling down, as if trying to make himself as small as possible.

"P-p-please....just go away....." Jensen was backed completely against the wall. Unconsciously he'd placed his hands on his stomach as if to protect the baby. All it did was bring their attention to the small mound previously hidden under the baggy tee.

"Well looky here." Dave cackled as his dark eyes seemed to glitter with malice. "The pussy got himself knocked up!"

"What?" Justin laughed. "What a fucking fag! You here trying to pick yourself up a Daddy for your little bastard?" Justin stepped forward, pressing himself against Jensen. "Ain't no one stupid enough to get himself trapped by trash like you!"

"I am!" Jared growled as he lifted Justin off of Jensen, throwing him against the wall. Justin smashed face first into the wall before doing a strange bounce onto the ground. "You don't get to fucking touch him!" Using their surprise to his advantage, he slammed his fist into Dave's face, sending him reeling into the sand. Jared kicked Justin's legs out from under him as he struggled to get up. He was about to jump on him when he felt strong arms around him. He struggled vehemently wanting to do nothing but rip the heads off the men who had dared touch Jensen.

"Cool it Jared." A firm but gentle voice was in his ear. Tom. Registering that it was Tom Welling holding him back, all the fight slid out of Jared and he relaxed. Jared took a deep breath, turning to where Jensen had been, only to see that spot empty. Jensen was gone! A shot of adrenaline ran through him and he turned back to the two guys he'd just waylaid, growling.

Tom put a calming hand on his chest to detain him. "Jared, Mike took him into the house. You need to calm your ass down and go deal with your boy."

Jared took another calming breath and nodded. "Okay, Tom. I'm cool." After a moment's hesitation, he felt Tom's touch loosen. "Thanks, Tom."

"Someone get these Assholes outta here." Chad yelled out from behind Jared.

Before anyone could move, Jared spun back to face the two on the ground. "If I ever see either of you around Jensen....I'll END you!"

"Damn....the Player finally got caught." Someone muttered from the gathering crowd. Jared spun in the direction of the voice, unable to pick out who had said it.

"That goes for anyone! Jensen is off limits!" Jared declared with a snarling growl. "He's mine!" With that final official proclamation, he stomped off towards the house in search of Jensen.

Jared found Jensen and Mike up in Chad's bedroom, where it was eerily silent. Jensen was curled up in the sitting chair while Mike sat at the end of the bed, looking concerned and uncertain about what to do. It was the stillest he had ever seen Mike in all the years he'd known him. Jared hurried over and knelt beside Jensen's chair. "Jen? You okay?"

"Still think I'm worth it?" Jensen questioned quietly.

"What?"Jared frowned, he had expected anger, not remorse. "Of course you're worth....everything. Why would you ask?"

"Because this is the kind of shit that happens around me." Jensen sighed. "I'm sorry for ruining your party."

"You haven't ruined anything. Those assholes were out of line." Jared growled, still angry about the things he'd heard them say to Jensen. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about."

"So....did you beat them up? Do the whole Hercules thing to defend my honor? Are you dueling at dawn with them?" Jensen sat up suddenly, a playful gleam in his eye. Jared was so relieved to see it that he burst out laughing.

"Yeah. Wanna be my second?"

"It's my honor you're defending and you want me to back you up? Dude, you've got it all messed up!"

"Yeah, right....Besides, you'll be puking your guts out at dawn.....I guess I'll have to get Mike to be my second." Jared suggested.

"Is he reliable?" Jensen turned to study Mike with a silly grin on his face. "I'm thinking he's going to be passed out under a bush at dawn. Or, at least, hung over. Doesn't seem to be a reliable Second, now does he?"

"You guys are really weird." Mike shook his head. "After what just happened, shouldn't you guys be fighting or crying or something?"

"We're gay, Mike." Jared rolled his eyes. "Not Chicks."

"Oh." Mike shrugged, looking as if he was thinking hard about that statement. "I guess that makes sense. I really don't know much about the whole gay rules of deportment and conduct."

Jared heard a tiny grumble from Jensen's stomach. "Geez, Jen. I'm so sorry! I hadn't thought about feeding you!"

"I'm not a pet rabbit. I don't require 'being fed'." Jensen rolled his eyes, but his stomach grumbled louder.

"But our daughter requires it! Let's get out of here!" Jared jumped to his feet. "We can go find something to eat!"

"Waffles?" Jensen perked up at the idea as Jared pulled him to his feet. "And Lime Sherbert!

Chuckling, Jared agreed. "Waffles and Lime Sherbert."

"Can I come?" Mike was bouncing near the door. "I love waffles!"


	5. Friends

The five large men crammed in the corner booth of the Mom and Pop cafe, the only place Jared could think of to find waffles at eleven-thirty at night. Chad and Tom had both spotted the trio leaving and had insisted on tagging along.

  
Jared felt a little queasy looking at Jensens' plate. He'd added gummy bears, banana slices and a taco to his order of waffles and lime sherbert. Jensen had no qualms with the mixture and was eating it with obvious enjoyment. On Jensen's other side, Mike had the exact same meal, having declared that Jensen's order had sounded 'awesome'. It seemed that in Mikes' drunken thinking, imitation was indeed the sincerest form of flattery. Jared wasn't going to complain, Jensen seemed to really like Mike and he needed friends.

Sitting in the crowded booth with his friends, Jared realized that he was having a lot more fun than he'd been having at the party. He felt a little guilty at that, but looking at the way Jensen was smiling and acting comfortable with the group, he decided that there was nothing wrong with skipping out on his own birthday party.

"Dude!" Jensen suddenly gasped at Chad between huge bites of his weird concoction. "Wasn't that your house the party was at?"

"Uh....yeah?" Chad nodded, shoveling several fries into his mouth. He was looking like he didn't understand why Jensen sounded so concerned.

"But....you just left all those people at your house? Shouldn't you be there to run your party? Make sure nothing happens to anything?" Jensen's wide eyed look of panic was adorable, in Jared's opinion, but then, there wasn't much about Jensen that didn't seem appealing to Jared.

"Nah." Chad shrugged looking and sounding like he really didn't care. Really, there wasn't much that Chad did care about. Just looking at him with his stained white tshirt and un-combed hair, it seemed pretty obvious to Jared. "Those assholes haven't even noticed that I'm gone. They'd do the same crap if I was there."

"Chad's parties always get out of hand." Tom added solemnly with a nod. Tom was the exact opposite of Chad. He wore a crisp blue button up that looked like it'd just been ironed even though he'd probably been wearing it all day. Every dark hair was in place. While Chad sort of looked like he'd just crawled out of a dumpster, Tom looked like the epitome of a good boy just heading to Sunday School with his Momma. "It's worse if you actually try to end it. It's better to just let it wind down on it's own."

"Besides, my boy here wanted to go out for waffles." Chad pointed at Jared. "I can't very well leave him to his own devices on his birthday!"

"I'm having steak...not waffles." Jared corrected, cutting into his chicken-fried steak as he did. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jensen gazing wistfully at the orange slice that garnished his plate. Without another thought, Jared picked it up and offered it to Jensen silently. Jensen smiled brightly and accepted it, happily munching on the citrus.

The other three occupants watched this exchange with a knowing glance between them. Jared saw the look but chose to ignore it. "And...."Chad continued, a strange glint in his eye. "Since he's my best bud, I need to get to know the guy that has turned Jared into a mush-head. Making goo-goo-eyes across the room and all that. Gotta find out if your intentions are honorable and all that shit."

Jensen blushed and ducked his head at Chad's words. Jared felt another surge for protectiveness and glared at Chad. "Chad, don't start. We get enough of this shit from Dad."

"He trying to convince you to make an honest man out of Jensen?" Mike piped up suddenly, having been so quiet that Jared had wondered if he was about to pass out. He ran a hand through his hair, sending the already wild hair shooting out in different directions. Jared had discovered, years ago, that Mike's hair had the same personality as Mike, wild and unexpected.

"Every freaking day!" Jared groaned.

"You know..."Tom began softly, blue eyes full of concern. "It actually is a good idea. With the possiblilty of Jensen not making it through the birthing surgery....it couldn't hurt to give you one more legal right to the child. Should Jensen not make it through the birth, his father could attempt to extract the child from your care."

"No!" Jensen suddenly yelled, his face a ghastly grayish color. "He can't have the baby!"

"Ssh."Jared wrapped a comforting arm around the upset man as he shot an evil glare at Tom. He suddenly regretted their decision to tell all to his best friends.

"I'm not trying to scare you, Jensen." Tom apologized , having read the murderous look Jared had sent him. "I'm just giving you some free legal advice. Your father, being your closest relative, can sue Jared for custody of your child in the event of your death. Although DNA tests could prove that the child is Jareds, your father can sue for custody or at the very least, visitation rights."

"He can't be near her!" Jensen clutched at Jared's arm. "Please, Jared! I'll marry you right now! Today! I'll let you fuck me every god-damn day if that's what it takes! Just....don't let him near her!"

Jared held the agitated man tightly and rocked him gently as he murmured pleas into his shoulder. He was mortified that Jensen would blurt something so personal out in front of his friends. His friends seemed to find anything and everything to look at besides them. Chad hurriedly assured the concerned waitress that nothing was wrong. Tom looked troubled, but said nothing.

"Okay, okay....shh, Jensen. We'll get married before the baby is born. I promise. Shhh!" Jared hummed in Jensen's ear. He ignored his own humiliation to sooth his companion.

After that, the cheerfulness of the group seemed to evaporate. Chad and Mike tried to brighten the mood but it was hopeless. Jensen was still sniffling. Tom looked contrite. Everyone had pretty much lost their appetite.

Jensen was so upset that he fell into a restless sleep as soon as he got into the car. Tom had apologized profusely as they said their goodbyes and slipped a card into Jared's hand. After everyone left, Jared used the dome light to read the card. It was the business card of a therapist specializing in sexual abuse. Jared winced. He'd had his suspicions, but he didn't like the idea of others being able to see the same thing so easily.

Jared carried Jensen in, giving Eugene a reassuring smile when he looked concerned at the man bundled in Jared's arms. This time, thinking about Jensen's reaction to finding himself in a strange room, he carried him all the way to his bed. Tucking him in after removing his shoes.

It wasn't until he was heading to his own room that Jensen spoke. "Jared?"

"Yeah, Jen?" Jared paused, turning to look at the man who was blinking sleepily at him.

"C-c-can you st-stay with me t-tonight?" Jensen looked as nervous as he sounded. Jared's eyes zeroed in on the long fingers nervously picking at the edge of the blanket. Jared wondered how long it'd be until Jensen's nervous habit had the blanket frayed.

"Uh..." Jared looked around, spotting Jensen's reading chair. "Sure. I'll sit with you."

"N-no." Jensen flipped the blankets back, scooting to the other side of the bed. "Sleep with me?"

Swallowing the huge tennis ball that suddenly appeared in his throat, Jared nodded. "S-sure. I can do that." Pasting a false smile on his face, he moved closer to Jensen.

"You...you don't have to." Jensen frowned, obviously reading the forced expression on Jareds face. Looking repentant, Jensen sighed, "Forget I asked."

"No."Jared hurried to explain. "I want to....really want to. I'm just afraid....I'm afraid I might do something..... in my sleep that'll upset you."

"I trust you." Jensen offered calmly, once again scooting over to make room for Jared's giant frame. Jared slid between the covers and lay stiffly. He didn't know what Jensen was asking for, so he decided to let Jensen do any initiation of touching. Jensen slid over towards him, laying his head in the crook of his shoulder. "This okay?" He asked in a small voice.

"Yeah." Jared agreed, unable to lie. "Feels nice."

"I was serious earlier. I'll let you fuck me if you want to....if you marry me." Jensen offered, causing Jared to tense.

"We'll get married before the baby comes. Sex will wait until you're in love with me." Jared repeated once again. "When you look at me and think....damn, I wanna make love with him....then we'll give it a try."

"How about a birthday blow job?" Jensen started to move, Jared brought his arm up and held him in place.

"That goes the same as the sex offer. When you actually desire it, then we'll discuss it." Jared felt Jensen relax into his embrace and sighed. "Besides....it's after midnight....not my birthday anymore."

"I'm sorry about ruining your birthday party." Jensen sniffled sadly. "And making you fight with your friends."

"You didn't make me fight with them. They were out of line. They need to know they can't do that to people." Jared sighed, deep down, he'd known Jensen's quick recovery from the upset wasn't real.

"Especially someone who belongs to you." Jensen nodded.

"Number one....you don't belong to me. I'd like for you to belong with me, but not to me." Jared was getting frustrated but tried not to show it. "Number two...I wouldn't have let them do or say that shit to anyone!"

"You're not mad at me for ruining your birthday?" Jensen's eyes were shining brightly in the dark.

"I had a better time with you and the guys at the diner then I was having at the party. I had a great birthday with you and the guys."Jared told him, speaking the absolute truth. "Now, go to sleep Jensen. We've got that workshop tomorrow."

"Are you okay with going to it?" Jensen sounded worried.

"Yeah, I think it might be good for us to be around other couples like us."

"I doubt any of them are like us." Jensen giggled, an actual giggle, making Jared chuckle.

"You're probably right about that. No one will be quite like us." Giving Jensen a little squeeze, he planted a kiss on his temple before settling down to sleep.

 

 

 

************************************

 

 

Jared woke up spooning Jensen with a hard on that could drill holes into concrete. He lay silently trying to will his errant body to behave. The last thing he wanted or needed was to scare Jensen off with an unintentional morning wood.

He tried to ease away from Jensen, but the other man mumbled quietly and snuggled back up against him. His firm bottom wiggling enticingly against Jareds cock. Unable to control it, Jared let out a pained whimper and threw himself off the bed. He hobbled like a three legged dog to the safety of his own bathroom where he whacked off in a matter of seconds.

Twenty minutes later, after a quick shower, he returned to find Jensen leisurely munching on a saltine as he leafed through a magazine.

"Morning." Jensen greeted him with a devilish grin that Jared was leery of.

"Morning," Jared nodded, feeling sheepish. Surely, Jensen didn't know what he had just been doing? "You're up early."

"Kinda hard not to when your bed partner nearly throws you to the floor then runs to his bathroom to jack himself off." Jensen informed him, still munching on the cracker and not making eye contact. Jared drew in a sharp breath, surprised that; #1, Jensen knew what he had been doing. #2, had the nerve to mention it. #3, didn't seem to upset about it. It was more like he was amused by it.

"Uh." Jared sputtered intelligently.

"Dude." Jensen finally looked up at him. His slightly flushed face was telling Jared that he was slightly embarrassed by it. "Everyone wakes up with a morning wood."

Unable to stop himself, Jared's eyes were drawn to Jensen's lap. Although buried under the blanket, a slight bulge was able to be seen. Jared gulped, feeling a warm fuzzy reaction in the pit of his stomach.

"Um...dude....you want me to leave the room while you.....deal with that?" He offered, eyes never leaving the nearly hidden bulge.

"No. I'm good." Jensen shook his head back to avoiding Jared's gaze.

"Seriously...I can....."

"No, Jared. It's fine." Jensen answered a little too firmly. "I don't need to do anything. It'll go away, like always."

Jared chewed on his bottom lip, knowing by Jensen's tone that he wasn't up for a debate about it. He also believed that Jensen giving himself a case of blueballs wasn't helping him any. Being the chicken that he felt he was, he opted to let the subject drop for the time being.

Instead he pounced on the bed beside Jensen, receiving a glare as a reprimand for jostling his queasy stomach. Smiling apologetically, he batted his eyelashes at Jensen until he cracked a half-hearted smile.

"So....I was thinking." Jared began happily.

"I'll be sure to alert the media." Jensen retorted dryly. The remark was so unexpected that Jared burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. By the time he regained control of his mirth, Jensen was smiling at him fondly.

"Anyway....I was thinking." He paused long enough to shoot a warning glare at Jensen, "If you're not too tired after the meeting thingy....how about we go on a road trip tomorrow?"

"I'm going to ignore that whole 'meeting thingy' part of the conversation and just ask...what road trip?" Jensen arched an eyebrow at Jared. His expression was intrigued and amused all at once.

"Hey, you knew what I was talking about." Jared defended himself with mock indignation before explaining himself. "Anyway, I was thinking that we should go visit Mackenzie tomorrow."

"Mac?" Jensen gasped. "W-why?"

"Well, she has the afternoon off tomorrow and you haven't been to see her campus or met her friends." Jared shrugged.

"How do you know all this? I don't even know her schedule!"

"Dude, I was in the car with her for two and a half hours. After she yelled at me and threatened me if any harm came to you, we had to talk about something. You were our common interest." Jared rolled over onto his back, nudging Jensen's thigh with his elbow. "And you're a pretty boring subject."

"And....you want to go see her again?" Jensen questioned hesitantly. Jared could already tell that he was liking the suggestion but was trying not to get excited about it. Jared instantly wanted to make a list of everyone who had ever broken promises to Jensen so he could hunt them down and hurt them.

"Yeah, I told you. We bonded." Jared yawned. "You feel up to moving off the bed yet? Maybe getting some breakfast and doing some clothes shopping before the thingy?"

"I think I could eat after a bit. Can we skip the shopping? I still feel worn out from yesterday and don't want to overdue it so I can enjoy seeing the college tomorrow. I mean...if you don't mind me borrowing more of your clothes for the time being?" Jensen leaned over to look at Jared, offering him a beaming smile. If Jared didn't already have the hots for Jensen, that smile would definitely do it for him.

 

 

 

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Jared holds the door open for Jensen to enter the building. Jared can tell that Jensen is trying not to show how nervous he is but stays nearly pressed up against him as they walk into the room where the workshop is being held. All eyes turn to watch them enter, which makes Jensen press closer. Jared bumps his shoulder with his, hoping to comfort him. His feelings are a mix of pride that Jensen is using him as a comfort and regret that everything seems to frighten Jensen so much.

"Oh great!" a man to their left grumbles loudly has Jared guides Jensen to sit on one side of an empty sofa. The grumbling guy has shoulder length brown hair and he's glaring at them with piercing blue eyes. "Another couple of gays to join the group."

"Chris," the blonde man beside him replies with a husky, soft voice, as Jared takes a seat beside Jensen. "We're gay. You can't have a problem with gay guys when you are a gay man."

"I am NOT gay!" Chris turns his cold eyes to the man beside him who meets him with eyes just as blue, but his are twinkling with amusement.

"Chris." The man sighs out a put-upon sigh as if they've had this conversation before. "You've been sticking your dick up my ass at least three times a week for the last five years. I am now pregnant and you are the father. How do you explain that if you're not gay?"

"That's Chris and Steve." A voice speaks up from behind them causing Chris' reply to go unheard. "Ignore them. Steve is pretty cool, and he loves the asshole, So we put up with him."

Both Jared and Jensen turn to face the owner of the voice. He's a young man, small, except for the huge stomach he's carrying around. "I'm Gabe. Ironically, I'm the only one in this group that's not gay, despite what Chris says. Five minutes from now, he'll be necking with Steve."

"You're pregnant." Jared says dumbly, getting a warning punch in the arm from Jensen. "How can you be pregnant if you're not gay?"

The guy shrugs, not looking like he wanted to share his life story with a couple of strangers. He looks down at his protruding stomach, his face a mixture of sadness and awe. "Things happen."

"Jared! Jensen!" Doctor Jeff's voice booms from across the room, he looks generally pleased to see them as he hurries towards them. "You made it! Everyone, gather round, we have some new members of our crazy little group."

The men that had been mingling began to gather around on the multiple sofas set up in the room. Jared counted five pregnant men in the group. Gabe, who was evidently here by himself, seemed to be the farthest along. There was a lankily built man who seemed to be a little less pregnant than Jensen. In fact, the only way Jared could tell he was pregnant was that he kept rubbing his stomach like Jensen did.

"Guys, this is Jared and Jensen. Jensen here, is just under five months pregnant. Boys, starting to your left you have, Chris and Steve. They're expecting twin boys in four months. Randy and Kevin, a boy is due in three and a half months. Gabe, his operation has been scheduled for the end of next month. Scott and Malcolm are due in a little over three, with a boy. And to your immediate right is George and Jorge. They have a little boy due in six months. Gang, Jared and Jensen have beaten the odds. They're having a girl."

"George and Jorge?" Jared chuckled. "Isn't that like, George and George? OW! Damn, Jensen! That hurt!" His humor left him as Jensen cruelly pinched the underside of his arm. The group seemed to enjoy his cry of pain better than his ill attempt at humor.

"A girl huh?" The guy closest to Dr. Jeff echoed, looking a little impressed. Jared thought the red head was perhaps named Skip or Sam, he couldn't be sure.

"Yes," Jensen nodded. "Do you have a name picked out for your son yet, Scott?"

"We're still arguing about that." Scott smiled a private smile at his companion. Jared feels a twinge of jealousy. He wants to share private smiles with Jensen. Right now, it's hard enough to get a regular smile out of him.

"Okay Gang, Let's get this party started." Doc Jeff rubs his hands together as if eager. "Anyone have anything they'd like to discuss?

"How about we just play twenty questions with the new guys?" Chris grinned menacingly at Jared before being elbowed in the side by his partner.

"Let's save that for later." Doctor Jeff disagreed. "We don't want to scare the guys off at their first meeting. Anyone else have a topic they'd like to bring up?" Jeff looked around the room, everyone was shrugging or looking back at him blankly until one guy finally raised his hand nervously. "Yeah Kev? What's on your mind?"

"Sex." Kevin answered bluntly, causing everyone to chuckle.

"You're in a room full of guys. That's on everyone's mind." Steve laughed loudly. Jared glanced at Jensen from the corner of his eye and saw him blushing profusely as he stared at his shoes.

"No....I mean.....is sex good for the baby? I'm mean...Randy is always.....randy now. He wants sex all the time. I'm not complaining, but.....I worry about hurting the baby."

"No, Kevin, you're not hurting the baby. Sex....well orgasms are very good for the pregnant man. As you all know, it can be very relaxing. It sends endorphins through the body, heightening blood circulation, relieves stress and helps to reduce pain. So, in all actuality, you are doing Randy good by getting him off." Jeff explained in a mixture of doctor speak and regular talk. Jared appreciated that about Jeff. "It's been studied that men with a high orgasmic rate are less likely to have trouble during the birthing operation. So, by having sex, you might possibly be increasing Randy's chances of survival."

Jared glanced nervously at Jensen who was looking rather pale. It brought to mind the conversation they'd had that morning. Jared didn't think Jensen was having orgasms of any kind.

"Great." Gabe moaned theatrically. "Tell that to the pregnant divorced man!"

"I'm speaking of orgasms Gabriel, not sex." Jeff explained gently. "You don't have to have a partner to have an orgasm."

"You're seriously talking to me about masturbating?" Gabe whined. "Geez, how pathetic am I? My doctor is telling me to....."

"I'm not telling you to do anything. I was simply explaining it to everyone."

"Yeah, but you just told us how much an orgasm helps the birth.....and I'm all alone." Gabe sighed, slinking down into the couch he sat on. Kevin reached over and gave his shoulder a squeeze in an attempt to comfort him.

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad." Jeff attempted to explain, looking like he wanted to cry himself. "I'm merely giving you guys advice. What I say here is optional. What we discuss in the office is usually mandatory."

Jared suddenly felt Jensen press closer, his hand searching to find Jareds. Linking fingers, Jared gave him a little squeeze, knowing that Jensen was feeling just as confused and adrift as Gabe obviously was.

"Okay....enough scaring the new guys." Steve called out. "Just look at them, we're freaking them out and we've only been here half an hour!"

 

An hour later, the workshop broke up so that the group could mingle for a while. Jared noticed that Jensen seemed to gravitate towards Gabe and he felt a tinge of jealousy as the two seemed to hit it off, chatting avidly in one corner.

"Relax." A soft twang sounded in ear. "Gabe really isn't gay. He's not making a move on your man." Jared turned to find Chris behind him.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Only to one who knows what to look for. I see it in the mirror every day." the shorter man smirked. "Sometimes I'm jealous of the time Steve spends talking to the babies in his own stomach."

"I thought you weren't gay."

"No, I'm not gay." Chris snorted until he caught Jared glaring down at him. "Okay....I'm gay for Steve. You.....and all these other guys....eww."

Jared let his head drop back as he laughed aloud. "Don't worry. I think you're kinda ewww also."

"Good. Just so we're clear on that." Chris agreed with a firm nod. "And, I think I might end up liking you kid. Just so you know....I'm the group asshole and there's no room for another. You'll have to restrain from getting all 'Grr' over your man talking to Gabe."

"What's his story?"

"He was gang raped. When he refused to abort the kid, his wife up and left him. Took his kids with'er." Chris' quiet answer was solemn. Jared gulped, feeling guilty for his earlier comments. The poor guy really was straight.

"Why's he keeping it?" He had to ask.

"Gabe's a good guy. Religious. Thinks abortion is a sin. He was willing to give the kid up for adoption, but now that his ex took his kids away, he's thinking he might keep the kid. So he has something left in his life. He doesn't blame the kid." Chris patted Jared on the back as tears welled up in Jared's eyes. "He's having a tough time with it all. Maybe your guy can help him?"

"Jensen's got a lot of problems of his own." Jared sighed. "But if he can help Gabe, he'll try. That's just how Jensen is."

"How long have you guys been together?" Christ questioned, watching Jensen and Gabe as he did.

"Not very long." Jared admitted, not wanting to get into the details. Chris seemed to get that and nodded.

"Didn't plan to get him pregnant, did ya?"

"We didn't know he could get pregnant." Jared shrugged, smiling as Jensen laughed about something that Gabe said. It never failed to make his heart sputter when Jensen laughed. He stamped down the surge of jealousy at not being the one to cause the laughter.

"We knew." Chris chuckled. "We knew Steve was fertile....but it was still unplanned. I mean....I'm not complaining. I already love my boys, but a wild night with a forgotten condom......changes you."

"You married?"

"Nah." Chris scanned the room, his eyes softening as they landed on Steve. "I think Steve wants to....but...I'm not sure."

"My father is pushing for us to get married. I really don't mind the idea. I can see myself with Jensen forever, if I think about it. Jensen says he will, but he's not really ready. He wants to get married before the baby comes, so we've got time."

"Not as much as you'd think. It flies by." Another man approached them. Jared glanced at Chris, a little confused. He didn't recognize this man from the meeting. He didn't look like any of the other group members. Most of the group members were dressed casually, but this guy was wearing a suit. His suit looked a little frazzled and his tie hung loosely around his neck, but the guy was wearing a suit....at noon...on a Saturday.

"Jared, this is Dr. Collins. He's the doc that got this freak show started." Chris grinned at the newcomer, obviously on good terms with him. "Misha, this is one of our newbies, Jared. His other half is over there with Gabe. I'm thinking Jensen is the better half of the duo."

"You're a Birthing Doctor too?" Jared eyed the new doctor.

"No, I'm a Therapist." The doctor's strangely bright blue eyes seemed to pierce right into Jared making him wonder if he had some hidden skill that enabled him to study a man's head, through his head.

"You here to check our heads to see if we're ready for this?" Jared asked jokingly as he studied the man who flashed him an easy smile.

"No, I'm off the clock." His blue eyes sparkling with mirth. He ran a hurried hand through his already rumpled dark hair. "I'm more of....a voice of experience here."

"You've been through the birthing operation?"  
Jared questioned, surprised.

"My partner." Mishas' eyes dulled instantly. "He didn't make it."

"Oh." Jared felt it hard to breathe. He had thought this workshop was to give them hope, to help them through this. Yet, this man, who supposedly started this group, was proof that they didn't have a lot of hope. His eyes quickly darted to Jensen who met his gaze with concern. Jensen cocked his head and raised an eyebrow, silently asking Jared if he was alright. Jared swallowed down the sudden fear that was attacking him and nodded.

"Well, ain't they just ah-door-able!" Chris crooned, causing Jared to break the eye-lock he had with Jensen. "They just had a conversation with their eyes. How cute!"

Jared felt his cheeks heat up with a blush. Glancing back to Jensen, he saw that he was still watching him, only slightly less concerned.

"Don't worry Jared." Misha ignored Chris' ribbing. "I lost my partner over ten years ago. Things have progressed since then."

"Ten years ago?" Jared gasped. "Was he one of the first male pregnancies?"

"Yeah...I think he was the tenth." Misha nodded. "Our daughter was the first girl and only the second child to survive."

"She survived?" Jared swallowed.

"Yeah. She had a rough time of it, but Victoria is doing good now." Misha smiled a typical proud father smile. Jared wondered if he would have that smile. He half expected the doctor to pull out a wallet full of photos.

"We're having a girl." He announced, realizing that he already wore that very smile.

"Congratulations." Misha offered his hand. "I need to talk with Jeff for a moment, but good meeting you Jared. Hope to see you next time."

"Yeah." Jared nodded numbly, glancing over at Jensen. Misha had lost his partner, but he had his daughter still. Only a little while ago, he didn't know Jensen and now Jared can't imagine having to go through what Misha had. He didn't know if he could handle losing Jensen. Suddenly, he had to be near him. Without saying anything else to Chris, he hurried away. Eager to be close to Jensen. Jensen smiled welcomingly up at him when he appeared at his side and Jared felt his heart stutter.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

 

 

 

"Uh, Jared?" Jensen frowned when the car's motor shut off. "This is a mall."

"Well, thank you Captain Obvious." Jared chuckled.

"But...you said we were going to see Mac at the college. Why are we at the Mall?" Jensen gazed at Jared with tear filled eyes, hurt seeming to ooze out of every pore in his body.

"Relax. I just need to pick something up and then we'll be on our way." Jared reassured him gently as he dug out his wallet. "Here, go get something from the food court and I'll come find you there when I'm done." Seeing that Jensen was about to refuse the money he added. "I'm guessing you're hungry since we didn't have much of a breakfast. Go feed my little girl."

Jared's tenderness melted away the last of Jensen's protests. He gave Jared a shy smile and accepted twenty.

Twenty-eight minutes later, Jared carried his purchases towards the table Jensen was sitting at. Jensen was so engrossed in his meal that he didn't notice Jared's approach until he plopped down in the seat across from him, causing him to startle.

"Sorry." Jared offered apologetically.

"You du-ahreby?"Jensen asked around a huge mouthful of food. Like passing a car wreck, Jared couldn't help but look to see what Jensen had been scarfing down. Chinese food, an Orange julius, a burrito, a super pretzel and a huge cookie. Jared mentally admitted that it wasn't really that bad of a meal, but not at ten thirty in the morning.

"Yeah, I'm already done. Go ahead, finish eating. It's good to see you with an appetite in the morning. I think those vitamins did the trick, don't you?" Jared had no problem understanding what Jensen was saying, he'd spent many years deciphering what Chad was saying while his mouth was full. It was like having learned a second language to Jared.

"Um-hmm." Jensen agreed, having stuffed his mouth full again. "Vant-sum?"

"Nah....I'm good." Jared declined the offer. "Want to see the present I bought you now or after you finish eating?"

Jensen froze in mid-chew. "Pwesent?" He looked stricken by the idea.

"Chill, Jensen. It's not a big deal. Nothing you have to try to repay me for. It's more for me than for you."

Swallowing the bite roughly, Jensen questioned timidly, looking a little queasy at the thought. "You bought me a present that's really for you?"

"Yeah, for my peace of mind." Jared agreed, putting the small bag on the table between them. Jensen reached out nervously, acting as if a rattlesnake was going to jump out at him at any given moment. Peering inside he looked shocked.

"A cellphone?"

"Yeah. I'm going back to work tomorrow, and I want you to be able to get ahold of me at any given time, and vice-versa. I already put my numbers in. And Mike's so he'll stop calling my cell to complain about you not having your own phone.

"Tha-...wait....you work?" Jensen blinked over at him, in complete shock. "Seriously?"

"Yeah....I'm not a complete slacker. I've even been to college. Got a degree and everything. I can even tie my shoes all by myself!" Jared rolled his eyes, tired of everyone thinking he was an idiot.

"No...it's just....you've been home, everyday since I've been here. I didn't think....."

"Yeah....I took a few days off, so we could get to know each other and get you settled in. I've been working from home in the mornings while you've been dealing with your morning sickness."

"I'm not settled in." Jensen rolled his eyes as he shifted through his chinese food for the mandarin oranges. "I still hate that house!"

"I think you might have mentioned that a time or two." Jared agreed ruefully.

"What's your job? Do you work for your father?" Jensen went back to the subject.

"Yeah, family business and all. I majored in business law. I'm a corporate lawyer. That's where I met Tommy, Law School. I went corporate, he went family law. I know, up until you came along....I wasn't acting very grown up. I partied.....a lot. But, only on the weekends. I didn't let it affect my job. I graduated the top of my class. I got my job on my own merits, not because of my last name. I'm twenty-six years old, I've been working at the company for a year and a half." He added proudly.

"hmm." Jensen looked impressed as he began to shovel the food in again.

"Here, finish the chinese and the burrito, the rest you can take along for the ride." Jared wrapped the cookie and the pretzel in napkins, shoving them in the phone bag.

"You don't eat in your car." Jensen argued, moving to take the stuff back out.

"No...but I've never been a pregnant man who's been lacking in the food department lately. If you make a mess, I'll get it detailed later." Jared shrugged, trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal. Jensen gave pause, but finally left the food in the bag to take with them.

"What do you do....as a corporate lawyer?" Jensen wanted to know.

"Basically, I spend the day reading over contracts, rewriting contracts, making sure the deals that Dad is working on are legit."

"You do the whole courtroom thing?"

"No....I'm not a trial lawyer. My stuff all gets worked out in the boardroom. Mergers and acquistitions. "

"So...if I joined the company as an accountant....I'd work for you?"

"Naw, just in the same department. Maybe with me on a contract, but not for me. I'm a low rung on the ladder." Jared leaned back, watching as Jensen finished devouring his burrito.

"What's in the other bag?" Jensen questioned as he slurped his straw and pointed at the other identical bag Jared had carried up. "I thought you had a cellphone already?"

"Ah, you're too observant." Jared laughed. "I was saving if for a surprise." He dug into the bag and pulled out a hot pink cellphone.

Jensen frowned, looking confused. "It'll be a while before Jaredina needs her own phone. She can just use mine....until she's born at least."

"Ha-ha." Jared smirked. "It's for Mackenzie."

"Mackenzie? You got Mac a phone?" Jensen gasped, staring at the phone as if it had just transformed into an atom bomb.

"Yeah. She likes pink....doesn't she?" Jared grew concerned, thinking maybe he should have gotten something less flashy. "I mean...her purse was pink....I just thought she'd like the pink phone...." Looking at the expression on Jensen's face, he deflated.

"Why did you buy her a phone?" Jensen's brow was furrowed and his face darkened with his growing anger. "We're not a charity case!"

"I....just wanted you to be able to talk to her." Jared's voice sounded small to his own ears. "I'm.....sorry?"

Jensen sat back in his chair, studying him quietly.

"I...can..... not give it to her. I was just trying.....I mean...you said that she was all you had and that you miss her........" Jared was so frustrated, he really felt like crying . He hadn't meant to upset Jensen. He stared down at his thumbnail as he scraped at something on the table. He didn't want to look up and see Jensen being mad at him.

"Thank you." Jensen's voice was quiet, so quiet that Jared worried that he had imagined hearing him. Looking up, expecting to see the fury on Jensen's face, he was surprised to see Jensen smiling with a single tear streaming down his cheek.

"You're not mad?" Jared wanting to reach across the table and wipe the tear away but refrained, not sure how Jensen felt about PDA's "Seriously?"

"It's really sweet of you to do this for me." Jensen sniffed. "I'm sorry I was a dick about it."

"You're not a dick...."Jared disagreed aggressively.

"Yeah, I am, thanks for putting up with me." Jensen leaned forward to caress the pink phone. "I really owe you-"

"No." Jared cut him off before he could get it out. "No payback, it's a gift. Get used to it. I like giving gifts to people I like. And you're becoming one of my favorites!"

Jensen blushed a cherry red, ducking his head in embarrassment. A moment later, he excused himself to the restroom. Jared watched him go, noticing the heads that turned to follow his progress. Jensen was a beautiful man and he wasn't the only one to think so, judging from the tittering teenage girls a few feet away.

He watched the graceful way Jensen maneuvered himself around the tables and the bow-legged gait that he found sexy as hell and felt himself sinking deeper in his feelings for the man. Now that his inner injuries were nearly healed, Jensen didn't walk stiffly has he had before. His burgeoning stomach seemed to give him a little sway in his hips that made Jared's mouth water.

 

 

"You tired?" Jared questioned as Jensen slouched down in the seat, having waved at his sister until she was just a tiny speck out the back window.

"Yeah....thank you for bringing me here." Jensen offered him a sincere smile, although it was tinged with his exhaustion. "Are all college girls so.....energetic and.....squeal like that?"

"Mostly." Jared laughed. "But, I've found that females seem to get worked up about babies. You were kind to put up with all of them wanting to touch your belly like that."

"It made Mac happy." Jensen yawned. "But not as happy as the phone did."

"You can take a nap, you don't have to entertain me while I drive." Jared offered.

"It's tempting....but I like this, getting to talk without any interruptions." Jensen yawned, seeming to sink lower into the seat.

"Okay...how about we play a round of twenty questions? I ask you a question, you answer it and then you get to ask me a question." Jared offered, knowing that Jensen wouldn't make it to twenty. His eyes were already drooping.

"Alright." Jensen sighed."You first."

"Hmm...#1.....what did you want the most when you were growing up?"

"That's easy. I wanted to be normal."

"Normal? Like...not gay?" Jared was confused.

"Was that your second question?" Jense tilted his head to look up at him.

"No...I'm just...clarifying your answer."

"No....I didn't always know I was gay. Really wasn't sure I was until recently."

"Okay...that's definitely a question for later." Jared laughed. "But, I really want you to explain what you meant by normal. Please...what did you mean by wanting to be normal?"

"I wanted to have a normal life. A house in the suburbs...with a fenced in yard and maybe a dog. Learn to ride a bicycle. Little League and Cub Scouts. Have a dad that went to work. A mom who baked cookies and joined the P.T.A. Normal."

"Yeah, growing up normal was good." Jared agreed.

"Dude, you didn't grow up normal." Jensen rolled his eyes. "Normal kids don't have a butler and a personal cook. You're house is far, far from normal! I-"

"Hate my house." Jared finished for him wryly. Jensen grinned a bright boyish grin at him that made hi his freckles stand out. "Your question, Jen."

"Did you always want to be a lawyer?"

"No." Jared grimaced. "Growing up....I wanted to be a rock star!"

"A rock star?"Jensen looked impressed. "Why didn't you?"

"I was expected to go into the family business since my older brother went into medicine. Besides," Jared glanced over with a grin. "I can't carry a tune."

"Your question."

"What did you want to be when you grew up?"

"When I was little....I wanted to play baseball." Jensen blushed.

"And when you got older?" Jared prompted.

"I think you're cheating." Jensen laughed. "You keep asking more questions than me!"

"I never cheat." was Jared's regal reply, with an undignified sniff for effect.

"Says who?"

"Is that YOUR question?" Jared countered playfully, seeing Jensen yawn widely. "Dude, just take a nap, we can finish this later."  
"No, I'm going to win this game first." Jensen murmured sleepily.

"It's not really a game where you have a winner." Jared explained softly as Jensen's eyes slid shut. Eyes back on the road, he glanced back, seeing Jensen's face softening into sleep and smiled. Jensen looked so much younger and softer when he slept. He loved to watch Jensen sleep so much that he had to force himself to focus on the road in front of him instead.

 

 

Thursday morning Jared awoke to find Jensen snuggled up in his arms as he had for the last three mornings since Jensen had crawled into bed with him late Sunday night. Jared had opened his eyes and saw Jensen, looking fearful with tears in his eyes. "Is this okay?" Jensen had whispered nervously and he'd been there ever since.

Every morning he woke up with Jensen nestled up against his chest with a raging erection that he couldn't do anything about. He'd lay there, watching Jensen sleep until it was time that he had to get up. Today though, Jensen was awake. Jensen had tears in his eyes and a pained expression on his face. "Jen? What's wrong? The baby?"

Jensen let out a whimper and shook his head but didn't answer. "Jensen, tell me what's wrong? Are you hurting?"

"Y-yeah." Jensen sniffled. "I-I-I can't make it go away."

"Make what go away?" Jared questioned nervously, shifting so he could look Jensen over. As he shifted, his thigh nudged against something hot and hard. Jensen. "Oh!"

"It..w-won't go away."Jensen blinked back tears. "I've been trying to get it to go away...but it won't."

"Jensen. Jack yourself off." Jared snapped.

"I....I can't!" Jensen lost his battle with his tears and was openly crying now. "It...d-doesn't.....I c-can't."

"Jensen." Jared sighed, using his thumb to wipe the tears away from Jensen's face.

"It won't....please....make it go away!" Jensen pleaded, grasping Jared's arm.

Jared gasped as Jensen's words sunk in. "Jensen....you want me to-"

"Please! Make it go away!" Jensen's hands grappled along Jared's bare chest as if trying to find something to hang onto.

"Okay, Sweetie, I'll fix it." Jared shushed him as he slid his hand down Jensen and into his pajama pants. Jensen whimpered again, sucking in a large breath. "Shh,it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Taking a steadying breath, Jensen nodded. "I know."

Jared fought to control his own racing libido as he wrapped his hand around Jensen's pulsing erection. It was everything he'd imagined it would be. Hot, silky, smooth and hard....for him. Gulping in a huge breath, he let his fingers slide across the silken skin. Jensen keened, his hips surging forward helplessly.

"Jared?" Jensen was watching him, wide-eyed.

"Shh, I've got ya." Jared let his thumb caress the leaking slit causing Jensen to tremble. "Relax, Jensen." He brought his other hand up to caress Jensen, running his hands over Jensen's newly filled out abs. He marveled over how fast Jensen had gone from stick thin, to this soft, curvy man. As he pet Jensen's chest he could feel how tense Jensen was holding himself. "You gotta relax....stop fighting it."

"I can't." Jensen whined again.

"Of course you can." Jared countered, taking it as a challenge. He kissed Jensen's temple with a smile. He placed a kiss on Jensen's nose before capturing his mouth with his. As with the previous kiss, it was like kissing fire itself. Jared lost himself in the kiss until Jensen opened his mouth to him, looping his arms around Jared's neck. Jared had to fight to keep himself from just plundering Jensen's sweet mouth. When he finally came up for air, Jensen was complacent, his muscles loosened. Keeping him preoccupied with another kiss, Jared tightened his grip on Jensen, sliding his thumb across the slit again before moving to caress his tight balls.

"Urghh." Jensen grunted into his mouth in surprise. Jared didn't give him any time to think about it. He kept moving his hand, jacking Jensen as his fingers explored and caressed.

He could feel Jensen's body heading towards orgasm in the way his body moved and tightened. Then he felt the tension returning. "No, Jen. Don't fight it. Come on, Come for me." He found a nipple with his free hand, teasing it. That was all it took. Jensen let out a loud, keening cry and was suddenly spurting into Jared's hand.  
Jared milked him through an impossibly long ejaculation until he was caressing the now flaccid member. Jensen's eyes fluttered shut upon a blissful expression. The fingers that had been digging into Jared's bicep were now loose and relaxed as his entire body seemed to melt into the mattress. Jared retrieved a handful of tissues off the nightstand to clean up the mess, watching as Jensen rode out the post orgasmic haze with a slight smile on his face.

Tossing the soiled tissues onto the floor, Jared re-gathered Jensen in his embrace and lay back, enjoying the way Jensen fused himself to him, tucking his head under Jared's chin.

Jensen was so quiet that Jared was beginning to think he'd drifted off when he finally spoke up. "Hmm...So that's what all the fuss is about."

"What?" Jared jerked his head back so he could look into those sparkling green orbs he loved so much.

"I was just saying......now I know what the fuss is about. That was kinda awesome." Jensen gave him a lopsided grin.

"You mean......you'd never gotten off before?" Jared had never felt so confused. Jensen was a grown man, surely he'd had an orgasm before. What teenage boy didn't have a couple dozen a week when they first found out what it was all about?

"No." Jensen's grin melted as he tilted his head to study Jared. "I told you.....sex.....has always just been about pain and......" He drifted off, his eyes clouding over. "Anyway....now that I know it can feel like that....I think I'll try it instead of hoping it'll go away."

"That's just the beginning." Jared assured him. "There's a lot more ways to get off. Just as good, if not better."

"I still don't want to have sex, Jared." Jensen hurried to explain. "But....I kinda like the kissing part. Never been kissed before." He rubbed the baby bump lovingly.

"Well, I can kiss you whenever you want." Jared  
acclaimed gallantly. "I'll kiss you until you feel like your lips will fall off."

"I don't know if I want to lose my lips." Jensen laughed. "But that thing you did with your tongue was cool."

"Ah, I like these lips too much to make them actually fall off." Jared leaned in and kissed the subject of their conversation, running his tongue along the seam teasingly. He was about to delve further when the shrill ringing of the alarm clock startled them both. "Damn."

"Do you have to go to work?" Jensen's lament was nearly a whine.

"Yup. Unfortunately so." Jared groaned, releasing Jensen so he could roll away and pull himself to his feet. "Gotta go be a grownup."

"I was thinking about calling Mrs. Hiller and see if I could get my old job back." Jensen propped himself up on an elbow, watching as Jared gathered his clothes for the day.

"No. Jensen, you're supposed to be taking it easy." Jared looked up from his dresser drawer. "You need to be resting and building up strength. Running across town and heaving books onto shelves is not the way to do that."

"I know." Jensen looked down at the rumpled bed covers, effectively shutting down. "I just wanted to do something."

"Jen..."Jared stepped forward, but the glare Jensen shot at him before turning over and pulling the covers up caused him to stop. Jared wondered if they other members of the workshop had to deal with such a mercurial temper. "We can discuss this later." He sighed quietly before secluding himself into the bathroom. He still had his own raging hard-on that he had to deal with.

 

 

Jared was studying a particular passage of a new contract that seemed a little off when his intercom buzzed. "Mr. Padalecki?" His secretary, Julie's tinny voice called out.

"Yes, Jules?" Jared frowned at the interruption as he put the document down.

"Jensen is on line one, sir." Julie replied.

"Again?" Jared exhaled, glancing at his watch. He'd just talked to him not half an hour ago. "Okay, thanks."

Punching the button for line one with a little more force than necessary, Jared grumbled. "Yeah Jen?"

"I was just reading the baby book. It says I should be able to feel the baby move. I don't think I have.....should I be worried?"

"Doc Jeff said you and the baby are both doing fine. We've got an appointment next week, you can ask him then. Or, why don't you call the office. I'm sure Abigail can tell you that you're fine." Jared snapped, unable to curtail his frustration for being interrupted.

There was a moment of silence before Jensen spoke again, this time in a small, timid voice. "Jared? Are you mad at me or something?"

"Jen, I'm trying to work. It's really hard to concentrate on the job when you keep calling me every five minutes. I'll be home in three hours. Can't you save all this inane chatter for when I get home?" Jared ranted.

"I'm sorry! I won't bother you again!" Jensen's voice was broken sounding as the line went dead.

"FUCK!" Jared bellowed into the empty office, running a hand through his hair.

"Mr. Padalecki?" Julie peaked into the room nervously, having heard his bellow. Her pretty face scrunched up into a concerned frown.

"He's going to be the death of me." Jared confessed. "I can't work with him calling me all the time."

"Seems to me, a week ago, you were worried that he wouldn't talk to you." Julie replied sagely making Jared wince. When he'd first hired her, it was for her looks. She was everything he liked in a woman. Small, dark haired and beautiful. He'd figured that he'd eventually end up sleeping with her. But not this spitfire. She'd shown him her claws first thing and had let it be known that she was a secretary only. After that, Jared had come to value Julie for her hard work and not her beauty. This was a time he needed her brains.

"I yelled at him." Jared groaned, dropping his face into his hands. "I yelled at him for calling me and wanting to talk."

"Jared." Julie tsked with a shake of her head before turning to leave the office, leaving Jared to contemplate his actions by himself. He knew he had to do something to make up for being an asshole. He dialed Jensen's number, only to get his voice mail. He called the house, but Jensen refused to come to the phone. Jensen was definitely not going to make it easy to apologize.

When he got home from work, Jensen was locked inside his room and refused to come out. Jared had the entire night to try to figure out what to do to make it up to him in peace. Still upset, Jensen didn't join him at bedtime like he had the previous nights and the bed seemed oddly empty without him curled up beside him.

 

When Friday morning dawned, the door separating their rooms was open. Jared peeked into the room, the bed was mussed, but empty. There was steam coming from the ajar bathroom door. Jared decided to wait him out, sitting on the edge of the bed, mentally going over his apology.

According to the bedside clock, he'd been sitting there for twenty minutes, and Jensen hadn't come out yet. Growing concerned, he went over to the bathroom door and pecked on it. "Jensen? You okay in there?"

"No." Was the muffled whimper. Jared pulled the door the rest of the way open and entered the room. The steam was thick as he made his way across the room.

"What's the matter, Jen?" Jared called through the shower door.

"I...I...I thought I could.....but it's not working." Jensen was sobbing. "I can't make it go away!"

"What?" Concerned, Jared flung the shower open and found Jensen leaning against the shower wall, erection in hand. Jensen's eyes widen as Jared fills the shower doorway, but his obvious discomfort overcomes his fear.

"It.....won't.....do what you got it to do!" Jensen released his turgid member and motioned to it, sobbing. "I've tried and tried...."

"Let me help." Jared stepped into the shower, fully clothed. Manhandling Jensen, he pulled his back flush up against him so he could reach around. Jensen immediately tensed as Jared takes control of his body, but sighs, leaning into him as Jared grasps his cock. "First of all, it helps if you have some slick. Shampoo works, but body wash is better." He released Jensen long enough to grab the body wash and squirt out enough to spread over his hands before taking Jensen's erection in hand.

"Please." Jensen whimpered, turning his head in search of Jared's mouth. Jared willing obliged, taking Jensen in a hungry kiss as his fingers spread the soap over his rigid length. Jensen's hips bucked, rubbing his naked ass against Jared’s cloth covered erection.

"Feel this vein here, it's a sensitive spot." Jared whispered against Jensen's mouth as he ran his fingers over the vein on the underside with one hand, while his left hand massaged Jensen's balls. "Most people mostly focus on the dick, but the balls are super sensitive. You gotta give them their fair share of attention too."

Jensen whimpered again as Jared's mouth trailed away from his to latch onto his earlobe. Jensen's body rested languidly in his arms, allowing him to do as he pleased. Jared's body throbbed with the power of what was entrusted to him, but he refused to take advantage of him. Jensen was malleable and he knew he could easily press into him as his own desire was begging for, but he also knew this fragile trust that was holding them together would be irrevocably destroyed.

"Jared." Jensen called out as his orgasm built inside him, his body straining for the friction it desired. Jared tightened his grip, pumping harder and faster as Jensen's body worked with him. He felt his own body responding to Jensen's naked form rubbing against him sensually.

"Oh!" Jensen cried out as semen began to spew from him, coating Jared's hands and the shower wall before being quickly washed away by the water streaming down on them. Unable to help himself, Jared pressed his erection into the small of Jensen's back and released into his sopping wet clothes.

Jared sagged against the shower wall, still clutching Jensen to him as if he were drowning and Jensen was his life-preserver.

Jensen turned in his grasp, pressing them together, chest to chest before initiating a kiss. Jensen tasted hot, fresh and carefree. Jared ate at his mouth, unable to get enough of that taste.

"Jared? Did you...just-" Jensen pulled back, blinking the water back in confusion.

"Get off?" Jared grinned, leaning in to nip his bottom lip. "Yup."

"How?" Jensen pulled back, to look down at where their bodies were pressed together. "I thought....."

"Getting you off was so hot, and you were rocking against me." Jared shrugged. "Just happened."

"I....I...I thought I had to DO something for that to happen?" Jensen cocked his head, as if really disconcerted by this.

"Naw." Jared shook his head, smiling easily. "Sometimes I think I can get off watching you eat your freaking waffles."

"Waffles?" There was a sparkle in Jensen's eyes as his appetite was roused.

"Go bat your eyes at Charlotte and I bet she'll make you some." Jared loosened his hold on him reluctantly. "I gotta get cleaned up and redressed."

"You are rather wet." Jensen stated with a troubled nod causing Jared to laugh aloud.

"Kinda happens when you're standing in a shower."

"In your clothes." Jensen shook his head, looking distressed over it.

"I didn't think you were ready for me to be naked in the shower with you." Jared ran a soothing hand down Jensen's naked back. "Now me....I'm loving you being naked in my arms. I've had dreams of a wet, naked Jensen."

"You have?" Jensen's eyelashes flickered, a little stunned, as he took in the information.

"Yup." Jared agreed, sneaking in another kiss to his nose. "But, that's for another day and another time. Now, get a'moving before you catch a cold. I gotta get this mess taken care of." Before letting Jensen go, he gave him a playful, slobbery kiss. " Now, Get."

"You're making me navigate this monsterous house all by myself?" Jensen pretended to pout as he stepped out toweled himself off.

"Yup. I know...You hate this house." He added playfully as he shut the shower door, cutting off his vision of a fully naked Jensen before he decided to yank the man back in the shower with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared came home whistling. It was amazing how great you felt when you started the day with a wet and willing Jensen in your arms. Although they weren't perfect yet, Jared had a sense that they were making some major progress in their relationship. Jensen had broken through one of his hang-ups. It kind of freaked Jared out, when he thought about it, that Jensen had gone through life so afraid of sex that masturbating was something he couldn't bring himself to do.

He'd replayed their little shower scene over in his head all day, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. He'd finally come up with an idea. A way to make Jensen feel more comfortable and a way of apologizing for his asshole behavior the day before. So instead of working, he'd spent the day making phone calls, trying to get it arranged.

He made it home an hour earlier than normal, bounding in the house, excited about telling Jensen about his "gift". Jensen wasn't in either of there rooms. A little worried, because Jensen was always in his room, he flew back down the stairs, finding Jensen holed up in the kitchen with Charlotte and Eugene.

"Jared!" Jensen called out when he entered the room, his whole face lighting up as he smiled up at him.

"Whatcha doing? Trying to get fat on me?" Jared teased playfully leaning over to kiss Jensen on the temple. Jensen pulled away from him, the light going out of his face as he stared at him, looking hurt.

"I wasn't eating anything!" Jensen declared, jerking out of his seat and rushing out of the room. Jared stood there with his mouth open, watching his retreat. Turning to his employees, he caught them glaring at him accusingly.

"My break is over, Sir." Eugene glared at him as he brushed past him. The usually expressionless man's bushy gray brows are furrowed in anger as he shoots a withering glance back at Jared as he leaves. 

"I....was only teasing." Jared murmured. "I didn't mean nothing by it."

"The boy is sensitive about his recent weight gain. He can't fit into his clothes anymore, and the elastic on yours is starting to pinch." Charlotte took pity on him and explained. "And the boy is lonely. He's got nothing to do in this big house and he's restless. That's why he spends so much time here with me and Gene when he's not talking on the phone with you."

Jared winced, once again he felt guilty for having yelled at Jensen for his constant phone calls. Even though Jensen had seemed to get over his hurt, he hadn't called Jared at all during the day. The only times they'd talked, Jared had been the one that called. Now, as he thought about it, Jensen had seemed overly glad to get to talk to him each time he'd called.

"I hadn't thought about him being bored and lonely." Jared confessed.

"He's all alone during the day when you are all at work and school. He needs something to entertain him." Charlotte offered.

"I gotta go apologize. I really was just teasing." Jared repeated, heading off to find out if Jensen had locked him out of his rooms again. 

Surprisingly, Jensen hadn't locked him out. He was curled up atop his bed, dry-eyed but looking miserable. He didn't look at Jared when he entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry I teased you. I didn't mean to insult you. I was just playing." Jared apologized, feeling very small for making Jensen so despondent. 

"I am getting fat." Jensen muttered into the bedding. If Jared hadn't have been so close, he wouldn't have heard him.

"You're not getting fat. You're pregnant." Jared responded gently. 

"I can't wear any of my own clothes and yours are all getting tight." Jensen mumbled, sounding brokenhearted.

"I've arranged for a whole three-day weekend off. Tomorrow we'll go out and get you something that fits. Maybe we'll go do something fun on Sunday. You said you liked baseball? We can hit a game or something."

"I played it in P.E. It was sorta fun." Jensen rolled over and sat up, looking "I always wanted to play it as a kid."

"Yeah....you said that when you were telling me about wanting to be normal." Jared nods  
"You remember me saying that?" Jensen blinks, looking astounded that Jared would dwell on something he had said.

"Of course! What about going to see a game? How'd you like to do that?" Jared was eager to do something that would please the guy. "Or is there something else you'd want to do? If you don't want to go to a game, we can go to a movie or something else."

"I've never been to a game." Jensen smiled, wide-eyed in interest.

"Okay....shopping tomorrow. A baseball game on Sunday. Monday is a surprise." Jared rubbed his hands together, rising. "I'll go see if there's a game and tickets available."

"Surprise?" Jensen caught the sleeve of Jared's button up as he made to leave. "What surprise?"

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise." Jared rolled his eyes playfully. "You'll just have to wait until Monday, now won't you?"

"What kind of surprise?" Jensen was like dog on a bone, he wasn't going to let it rest. "Something for me?"

"You can ask all the questions you want, but I'm not telling you." Jared chuckled, patting him on the arm as he pulled away. 

Jensen rolled off the bed and followed him. "What do we do now? Wanna go for a walk? Or are you tired? We could watch tv or something?"

Jared felt another surge of guilt. Jensen was acting like he'd spent the entire day waiting for Jared to show up and entertain him. 

"Let me look into the ball game tickets and change my clothes, then we could go for a walk before dinner." He mentally vowed to refrain from neglecting Jensen.

 

 

Jared awoke Sunday morning to Jensen humping his thigh. He'd quickly discovered now that Jensen's libido had been awoke, he was horny all the time, but couldn't seem to get himself off on his own. Jared had been giving him a hand-job every morning and usually another one sometime during the evening. Today, it seemed like Jensen was getting a head start. He lay still, seeing what Jensen would do. His answer came a moment later when Jensen slid his hands under his shirt, caressing Jared's stomach as his hips continued to pump his erection against his thigh. 

"Jared." Jensen grunted as he reached completion, clutching at Jared's sides. He burrowed into Jared's shoulder as he came down from the high. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Don't thank me." Jared chuckled sleepily. "That was all you."

"Really?" Jensen blinked innocently at him as he moved his thigh between Jared's.

"Yup. You just got your rocks off by yourself." Jared grinned, feeling oddly proud of him.

"But it was because of you. I...I...used you." Jensen added wonderously, obviously feeling Jared's erection as he raised his thigh higher.  
"Maybe." Jared shrugged. "You wanna get a shower and some chow before we head to the game? It's an early game Noon."

"Don't you want to...get your rocks off?" Jensen questioned, raising his knee again so that his thigh was nestled firmly against Jared's dick.

"Jen." Jared shifted, trying to pull away from the pressure but only managing to tease himself. 

"Can....can I see it?" Jensen's wide-eyed gaze was too innocent for what he was asking him.

"You want to?" Jared questioned, ignoring how his heartbeat increased at the thought. "If you want to...you can do whatever."

"You.....won't......"Jensen hesitated, his hand hoovering above the waistband of Jared's sweats.

"I won't do anything. It's all up to you, Jen." Jared promised. "Whatever you want, Sweetheart."

"Will you touch it? Can.....I watch you...do it?" Jensen asked nervously. 

"You want to watch me?" Jared was amazed. This was a big step for Jensen. "Okay."

"Just like that? Okay?" Jensen sat up, leaning over him. "You pleasure me every day but never ask me to return the favor."

"Because I don't want temporary pleasure." Jared tried to explain his feelings, but found it difficult. "I want......everything. I want you to love me and want to do these things with me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I don't understand you Jared!" Jensen grew frustrated. "A month ago, you didn't know I existed. Now you want....you claim to love me?"

"I don't know that it's love yet." Jared shrugged. "But it could be."

"How? Why?" Jensen demanded.

"Because you're the first person that I've taken time to try to get to know. The first person I've wanted to." Jared sighed. "I think we'd be farther along if I hadn't been so smashed the night we met. I think I might have fallen in love with you then. Maybe I wouldn't have screwed up and hurt you....Then maybe you wouldn't be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you." Jensen declared, reaching over and untying Jared's sweats. "And you didn't hurt me....not really. It hurt, but not..."

"Jensen-" Jared went to argue, but Jensen's attention had drifted to his crotch, waiting for Jared to move. Jared yanked his sweats down to his knees, giving Jensen a better look. Jensen chewed on his bottom lip, but his eyes seemed to touch every part of the uncovered skin.

"You're very big." Jensen murmured, his left hand raising and hoovering a moment before he put it back down.

"It came with the package. Mutant DNA and and all that." Jared felt his blood rush south and his dick thicken. Jensen's eyes seemed to bulge as he grew bigger. He chuckled roughly at his expression until Jensen licked his lips nervously. That caused him to let out a whimper of want.

"Wow! No wonder it hurt without any lube!" Jensen gasped. "You're huge!"

"Only for you babe!" Jared rasped, it sounded stupid to his own ears, but Jensen smiled so it wasn't that ridiculous of a thing to say.

"So....now what?" Jensen prompted, his eyes never leaving Jared's red cock.

"Hand me the lotion, I need it for lube." Jared nodded towards the bottle on the nightstand. Jensen stretched to get it, looking so long and graceful that Jared nearly lost it right then, without a show for Jensen. He bit the inside of his mouth, the pain ebbing the raging desire momentarily. Jensen handed him the bottle, looking as eager as a kid ready for his favorite television show.

Jared settled more comfortably on the bed, sinking into the softness while he watched Jensen, watching him. He squirted a dollop of lotion into his hand, slicking his palm before taking himself in hand. Jensen's eyes never left his cock has he ran a loose hand over his erection. 

"Wanna know what I think about when I do this?" Jared husked, his hips jerking at his own touch. "I think about you."

Jensen's mouth falls open a little at this, and Jared feels a surge of lust run the entire gamut of his body. He jerks his dick twice, a little harder then he'd planned, but the near-pain felt good.

Goaded on by Jensen's reaction, he continues as he strips his cock. "I try to imagine what it was like that night on the beach. Having you under me, being inside of you. I wish I could remember. Did I kiss you? Did I suck on your neck? Did I play with your nipples until they were hard for me? Where did I touch you? Where did you touch me?"

Jensen swallows roughly, his breathing sketchy. Jared sees his eyes darken with desire and wants to shout for joy. Jensen is experiencing want, for him! Jensen shifts, drawing Jared's attention downward. Jensen's hard, because of his words and seeing him. 

"Did my tongue delve inside your mouth? Did it delve deep inside you? Did you make those sweet mewling sounds that you make when my hand is on your dick?"

"Jare..."Jensen gasps his plea, his face twisted in want.

"Kiss me, Jensen. Kiss me and I'll come right now." Jared begs, so close to coming that he knows he's simply teetering on the edge.

Jensen leans down, planting his mouth on Jared's in a hungry, open mouth kiss. Just like that, Jared's body spasms with pleasure, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head as he comes hard in a cascade of bliss. 

"That was beautiful Jared." Jensen wheezes, sounding awed. 

"God, I really could love you." Jared murmured before capturing his mouth in a hard kiss. 

 

 

Watching Jensen's first experience at a Major League game was more entertaining then the game itself. Jensen was fascinated with everything. He had to try everything that the concessionnaires had to offer. From a big foam hand to the lemon slushies. Jared bought him everything that came by, just to see his eyes light up with childish glee. 

It seemed that Jensen's happiness was contagious, soon he had the entire row feeding on his enjoyment. From the old lady two seats over giving him pointers on which player to watch for to the jumbo man behind him that explained all the stats of the players as they came up to bat. When the seven inning stretch came around, Jensen stood up and belted out "Take me out to the Ball-game" with all of his new-found friends. The stadium cameras even focused on Jensen and his group several times during the game.

Jared just sat back, enjoying Jensen being Jensen. It was amazing to see him not holding back. It was just another piece to the Jensen puzzle that Jared was slowly putting together inside his heart.

By the time the game was over, Jared was towing every known souvenir and an exhausted Jensen to the car. Jared tucked the lethargic man, decked out in a brand-new team jersey, hat and glove into the passenger seat. 

"Thank you." Jensen pulled him down for a tired, sloppy kiss. "That was awesome."

"You were awesome." Jared laughed as he pulled away. "I'm gonna be carrying your heavy ass to bed, aren't I?"

"Uh....probably?" Jensen blushed, but his grin held.

"I'm glad you had fun." Jared leaned in to kiss his forehead. 

"I did! I really did!" Jensen yawned as Jared shut his door and came around. "Is it always this fun?"

"Depends on the people you go with. I don't think I've had this much fun at a game since I was a kid." Jared thought about it. "My first game...I went with my big brother and his friends. I think I was ten....They had to be fifteen or sixteen. That was a blast. But, I think I enjoyed this one more."

"This'll always be my favorite game." Jensen vowed sleepily, his eyes drifting shut as Jared started the motor. He was out for the count before they made it out of the parking lot.

Jared opened his eyes to see bright green eyes staring at him from above. He blinked the attractive face into focus. "Jensen?"

"When is my surprise coming?" Jensen asked with a wide smile.

"Surprise?"Jared repeated dumbly, blinking again, realizing that Jensen was straddling him. There wasn't going to be much thinking with that happening.

"It's Monday." Jensen grinned. "You said you had a surprise for me on Monday."

"How Monday is it?"

"What?" Jensen's smile shifted into a confused one.

"What time is it? How far into Monday is it?" Jared clarified.

"Uh...." Jensen craned his neck to see the bedside clock. "It's almost seven."

"Damn!" Jared moaned theatrically. "I think I prefer the puking zombie Jensen that didn't venture out of bed until nearly noon." Jared's hands found Jensen's hips, fingers soothing the soft material there. "Can we go back to that Jensen?"

"Don't be a dick." Jensen grinned, surprisingly not offended by the teasing insult. "Where's my surprise? When's it coming?"

"We're going to it this afternoon." Jared yawned. 

"I have to wait that long?" Jensen pouted, looking adorable. "Will you give me a hint?"

"No." Jared shook his head.

"Not even a little tiny one?" Jensen stuck his bottom lip out but instead of making Jared feel guilty, he wanted to bite that lip.

"Nope." Jared sat up, shifting Jensen so he sat more firmly on his lap, so he could take that irresistible lip between his teeth.

"You gonna keep me entertained until it's time?" Jensen murmured pressing closer to Jared.

"I think I could be convinced." Jared sucked in a breath as Jensen shifted again, rubbing their erections together. "Yeah...most definitely!" Jared managed to entertain Jensen for quite a while, no longer upset by the early wake up call.

 

 

"Where are you taking me?" Jensen asked for the twentieth time since they'd gotten into the car. After being so eager to find out what his surprise was, he had taken a ridiculously long time deciding which of his new clothes he should wear to go see his surprise in. Once in the car, he fidgeted, but he didn't remove the blindfold that Jared had put on him in the garage.

"To your surprise." Jared answered again, unable to stop grinning.

"How long will it be?" Jensen tried a different tactic. 

"Not long, maybe a fifteen minute drive. Just sit back and relax."

"I can't relax with a blindfold on. It's too freaky." Jensen confessed, sounding like he wasn't playing.

"You okay?" Jared grew concerned, not wanting to scare Jensen.

"Yeah." Jensen blindly reached for Jared, fumbling around until he made contact with his thigh, where he left his hand. He let out a breath and relaxed into the seat.

For Jared, it was bittersweet. He loved that Jensen found him comforting, but a grown man shouldn't have to rely on something like that. "It's really not far."

"Okay." Jensen agreed. To Jared, Jensen's hand felt like fire on his leg, burning through the denim of his shorts and branding his thigh. Jared was immensely happy when he was able to stop the car. Jensen's burning hand was making it hard for him to concentrate on driving. 

"Are we there?" Jensen questioned, removing his hand as he sat up. "Can I take this off now?"

"We're here, but don't take it off yet." Jared cut the motor and hurried around to help Jensen out. Jensen clutched at his arm as he clambered out of the SUV, still blinded by the cloth around his face. Jared hurriedly positioned him where he wanted him. "Hold out your hand." He ordered. Jensen stretched out his arm, nearly smacking Jared in the chest. Jared moved his arm back a little, turning his hand up so he could place part of his present into it. Jensen closed his hand on it, a frown marring what little of his face that was able to be seen.

Circling around, Jared rushed to untie the blindfold, eager to see Jensen's face when he saw his surprise. "Okay."

"Keys?" Jensen blinked as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight.

"Yup." Jared grinned, moving to stand beside him.

"My surprise is a set of keys? Keys to what?" Jensen was smiling, but evidently confused.

"To that, of course." Jared pointed to what Jensen was standing in front of. He watched the smile drain from his face as the shock sunk in. "Surprise?"

"A house?" Jensen gasped, his mouth opening and closing a few extra times as he took in the large yellow house sitting before him. "You bought me a house?"

"Us. I bought us a house." Jared grinned, motioning around them. "In the suburbs where she can play with the neighbors when she gets older. We'll teach her to ride a bike right here. It's got a fenced in yard. Room for a dog... Normal stuff, just liked you wanted. No mansions in site. No butlers. Just neighbors on the other side of the fences."

"You.....bought a house.....for us? For me?" Jensen repeated again, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I did."Jared nodded.

"How....how can I ever.....repay you." Jensen questioned softly, leaning against Jared with his face pressed into Jared's chest. His hand coming up to rest over the place Jared's heart was pounding loudly.

"You don't have to repay me, Jen." Jared heaved out a breath, frustrated that they had to go through this once again. "No....I know how you can repay me."

"How?" Jensen questioned eagerly, pulling his head from it's resting spot so he could look Jared in the eye. "Name it!"

"Give me a daughter as beautiful as you and we'll call it even." Jared grinned, pleased with his offer. Jensen turned red with embarrassment but he was grinning.

"Dude. I'm not a girl. Stop calling me beautiful." Jensen punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"So, ya wanna check it out?" Jared nodded towards the house, regretfully pulling away from Jensen.

"Really? We can?" Jensen gaped, wide-eyed.

"Did you think the keys were just for show? The house is ours. We can move in at any time." Jared opened the gate, waiting for Jensen to enter the yard. When Jensen just stood there, gaping he prompted. "Get moving, I'm not lugging your ass over the threshold."

"Be still, my heart!" Jensen clasped his hands over his chest. "You have such a romantic, silver tongue!"

Jared laughed, but the words sunk in and gave him pause. "Do you want romantic? I've never done romantic....but I could try?" He offered as Jensen finally entered the yard.

"Dude....you just bought me....us" He corrected himself. "a house! My....dream house! What could be more romantic than that?"

"This is romantic?" Jared looked up at the house with new interest. "Really?"

"Dude....I just told you about my dream...like a week ago and here...you buy it for me." Tears were still looming in Jensen's eyes. "How'd you do that?"

"Padalecki name and money goes a long way around here." Jared shrugged, reaching over to wrap an arm around Jensen. "I was a complete asshole to you the other day....about the phone calls. I thought this might cheer you up some. Cuz....you know....I have a feeling that you might hate the Padalecki house, a little bit."

Jensen snorted back laughter, leaning into Jared's one armed hug. "That was only a couple of days ago. You bought it then?" 

"Yeah, I came home Friday to tell you....but instead, I was an asshole again." Jared confessed. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry. I got the fenced in yard in the suburbs like you asked for....but you'll have to handle the baking of cookies and P.T.A meetings." 

"Okay." Jensen agreed as he got the door unlocked. "I like to cook."

"You do?" Jared was shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah." Jensen shrugged, his attention on the house as they entered it. "God Jared....it's....perfect!"

"Not too big that anyone will get lost in it." Jared teased. "It's got four bedrooms, a den....the basement has already been converted into a workout room."

"Four bedrooms?" Jensen looked startled. "What do we need with that many? Two would be sufficient."

Jared took a moment, realizing that Jensen was counting one bedroom for the baby and one for them....to share. His heart was suddenly enflamed at the thought. "What about when Auntie Mac comes to visit? She'll need a place to sleep."

"Okay." Jensen nodded, seeming to like that idea but still looking a little concerned.

"Jensen....you're not a brood mare. I'm not planning on making you go through this again." Jared decided to inform him before he got any weird ideas in his pretty little head. "I have no ulterior motives for buying a house with four bedrooms."

"Okay." Jensen smiled, looking relieved. He took Jared's hand, dragging him through the first doorway he comes across. "Wow!" He gasps as he gazes at the open kitchen. "Really....wow!"

"You really cook?"

"Yes, Jared." Jensen rolled his eyes. "Not everyone grew up with a private cook. My Mom left when I was nine. It was either cook or Mac and I starved. I learned by trial and error. Lots of error." He grinned at the memory. "Lots of error!"

Jared had so many questions, but was afraid to ask. This was the first time Jensen had voluntarily offered information and Jared didn't want to push it. He wanted to ask about his mother. Where she went. If he knew why she left. If he'd ever heard from her again. He bit his tongue and focused on watching Jensen explore the kitchen like a starving kid in a candy store. He lost count how many time Jensen said "Wow!"

"Ready to look at the other rooms, or are you just moving in to the kitchen?" Jared finally teased as Jensen made the third lap around the kitchen, opening every cabinet and drawer again.

"Which is our bedroom?" Jensen asked, making Jared's heart sputter to a halt before picking up a loud crescendo.

"Uh?" Jared did a really good impression of a drowning fish, if he did say so himself.

"Come on!" Jensen reclaimed his hand and drug him up the stairs that led out of the kitchen. The first room the came across was a huge room with a walk in closet. A bathroom was the next room. Another bedroom, slightly smaller, with a smaller walk-in closet and beautiful bay windows. The last bedroom was the smallest, a corner room with a large window seat and a ridiculously small closet. "No master bath?" Jensen questioned.

"That was only three bedrooms." Jared shrugged. "Must be downstairs.... Jensen! Slow down on the stairs! We don't know how safe they are!" He fussed as Jensen hurried down the front staircase, dragging him along. They came down into a large living room that also had big bay windows. 

"Wow! Wouldn't it be gorgeous to have a big Christmas tree right here?" Jensen gasped, twirling in front of the window as if to show how big the tree would be. Jared made a mental note to find the biggest tree available. "Have you ever had a real tree at Christmas?" Jensen questioned. "We always had a fake one. It was so old that it didn't stand up anymore. It fell on Mac one year as we were decorating it. I had to tie ropes around it and staple the ropes to the wall to get it to stand. Chuck tanned my hide over that one and threw the tree out. We never got a replacement after that." Jensen looked nostalgic over that horrible memory as he shared it. Jared felt sick, having never really appreciated what having a tree meant. He vowed to make this Christmas special. 

"This is gonna be our baby's first Christmas." He whispered, a little awed over the thought.

"We need to get her a stocking! Santa will have to fill it with baby stuff! What type of stuff do you get a newborn?" Jensen grinned, looking enthralled. "Diapers?"

"Santa will figure it out, Jen." Jared assured him with a chuckle. "He's got a couple of months to go yet. It's only August."

"Yeah...but it'll be her first Christmas......in a real home!" Tears threatened to escape Jensen's jade eyes, but he blinked them back, turning his attention to the next doorway. He found a closet, the dining room, the den and another bathroom before he found the master bedroom.

"It's not as big as your bedroom at your house." Jensen apologized momentarily before getting distracted by the excitement. "Ohh! Look at the size of this tub! It's a jacuzzi! Look, it's got a separate shower with glass doors! It's huge! Bigger than the one in your bedroom and we both fit in that one!"

Jared felt that statement in his pants. He'd enjoyed a few mornings of having a wet Jensen pressed against him in his shower and he hadn't complained about the cramped space. He tried to control his libido as he imagined watching Jensen shower in the clear glass shower. He had to get out of the bathroom before he started humping Jensen right then and there.

"Bedroom's green." He stated, sounding retarded to his own ears, but escaping the confines of the large bathroom. "What do you think of that?"

"I like it." Jensen nodded. "Are we taking your furniture or do we have to go out shopping for something?" 

"I....I'm assuming we can take the furniture if we want." Jared winced as he shrugged. "I....kinda haven't talked to Dad yet."

"Your father doesn't know?" Jensen moaned. "Oh shit! Henry's gonna hate me!" Slumping against the wall, he slid to the ground. "Hate, Hate, Hate me!"

"He'll be fine." Jared hurried over to kneel beside him. "He loves you! Hell, he likes you better than he likes me!"

"Not when he's told that I'm the reason you're moving out." Jensen whined. "We're not going to move. This was just a teaser. We're going to be stuck in that horrid house until we grow old and die. Our corpses will be rotting before anyone even finds us!"

"We're moving in here." Jared insisted. "I promise! The water and power's being turned on Wednesday. I got the guys coming to help me carry things every day after work. We'll be in this house by Saturday in time for the workshop."

"Guys?"

"Tom, Mike and Chad. They'll work for beer and pizza." Jared shrugged. "I'll tell Dad tonight. You don't even have to be there. I'll tell him after you go to bed."

"No." Jensen sighed. "I'd rather know if he hates me first hand. I'll be there when you tell him."

"He won't hate you. He'll be a little pissed....at me....and he'll yell and fret, but he'll be fine once he gets over the initial shock. He did the same with Jeff moved out. Heck, it'll be better, Jeff left the state. We're just a few miles away."

"Yeah, but did Jeff have a pregnant floozy making him move out?"

"Jensen....don't refer to yourself that way." Jared groaned with exasperation at the way Jensen saw himself. "You're not making me move out. I'm just following Dad's advice. I'm ‘manning-up and taking responsibility’." He mimicked his father rudely. 

"Somehow....I don't think this is what he was wanting when he said that." Jensen murmured as his eyes danced around the room.

 

 

As expected, Henry Padalecki was not pleased with Jared's decision. He pretty much blew a gasket, in Jared's opinion. Jensen, true to his word, stood by Jared. He flinched and cowered when Henry got too worked up, but he remained beside Jared.

"Padalecki children have been raised in this house for generations, Jared!" Was Henry's strongest argument.

"Things change, Dad." Was Jared's constant reply.

"Jared!" Henry threw up his hands in exasperation as he paced the length of the study. "This is where a Padalecki should be raised."

"Raised by nannies, cooks and butlers like I was?" Jared snapped. "Jensen and I want to give our baby a normal life. We've got a wonderful house in the suburbs where we can have family barbeques and raise her on our own....our way."

"No one has complained about how you and you siblings have turned out!" Henry growled, looking offended.

"Yeah, but what memories do we have of you? After Mom died....we barely saw you! I don't want to be that way with our daughter! We want to be there for her when she wakes up, and to put her to bed at night. We live here and they'll be a slew of people to do that instead of us."

"Padalecki children are meant to be raised here! It's not safe anywhere else." Henry argued, not willing to let the subject drop.

"We will be perfectly safe where we are." Jared tried to soothe his father's ruffled feathers. "Are you going to make Jeff move back from Seattle when he and Jeanie have kids? Or am I the only one you feel the need to control?"

"I am not trying to control you! Jared, this is my first grandchild. I want to be a part of her life." Henry seemed to shrink in defeat.

"You're the only grandparent she'll have." Jensen spoke up quietly. "Of course we want you to be a part of her life. We're moving across town, not out of the country." 

Henry turned to look at the quiet man, as a rule Jensen never volunteered to speak to Henry, so it came as a shock when he did. "But but I won't be a very big one. You'll have your friends and neighbors and soon I'll be forgotten. I'll be a stranger to her."

"We won't let that happen. I grew up without a family, I want her to have one." Jensen smoothed his shirt over his growing baby bump. "We'll see one another all the time."

"How can I be sure of that?" Henry demanded, eyes on Jensen's stomach with a longing Jared had never seen before. He had a strange feeling something was happening in front of him that he was missing. 

Jensen didn't seem to miss it. He walked over to Henry, taking his hand to place it on his stomach. It was the first time he'd instigated being touched by anyone other than Mac and Jared. Jared was suitably flabbergasted. "She needs you in her life. We'll make sure that you have that chance. How about a family dinner every week? We can have it here or at our house, once we get settled."  
"Every week?" Henry's eyes lit up at the idea. "Every single week?"

"As long as it's possible. Sunday? That seems like a family type day and no one has to work often on Sundays." Jensen offered, giving Henry that sweet smile that Jared knew would melt the coldest of moods. He'd experienced it, so he knew.

"Two days a week?" Henry tried, but Jensen shook his head. Seeing that he wasn't going to get any more than that, Henry nodded. "Okay. Sunday dinners. I'll inform Megan to keep that day open. We're starting this Sunday, mind you."

"Of course!" Jensen's' smile was one of relief. Jared gaped, amazed that Jensen had just worked his father so easily. 

So, the following Friday, Jared and Jensen were officially in their own home. Jared was sure that Jensen's face was going to crack, he was smiling so much. There was a sparkle in his eyes that hadn't been there before and Jared was proud that he had put it there. 

He'd teased Jensen about carrying him over the threshold and he really wanted to. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that Jensen wouldn't take it very well since he was constantly fighting about being treated like a girl. This was a new beginning, for each of them and for them as a family.

Jared's friends had came, as promised, to help them move in. Although he wanted to help, Jensen was delegated to holding doors open and pointing out where he wanted things to be placed. Unfortunately for those who were lugging the furniture around, he wasn't sure where he wanted things. Poor Chad and Tom picked up and moved the couch five times before Jensen was happy where it was. (Exactly where they'd put it in the first place!) As Jared had found out, Jared's friends had found it just as hard to be mad at Jensen, so there were no problems there.

As an apology for wearing them all out, Jensen offered to cook them all dinner while Jared supplied beer for the workers when they were done. With friends spread out around the half furnished living room and Jensen puttering around in the kitchen, Jared couldn't help but grin.

"What's that all about?" Chad nudged him in the knee with is beer bottle.

"What?" Jared looked around, not seeing what was confusing Chad.

"You. Grinning like a monkey on crack." Chad rolled his eyes. "What's the deal?"

"I don't know." Jared shrugged with another wide Padalecki grin. "I'm just.....happy?"

"Dude....you are so whipped." Chad muttered as he took another slug of his beer.

"I think it's heartwarming." Tom stated from where he was sprawled across the floor, his head propped up on an unlabeled box. "Kinda makes me want to hook up.....with a girl of course, but all the same.....It seems kinda nice."

"You're not gonna find a girl as pretty as Jensen." Mike scoffed from the chair by the door. Jared didn't quite see the reasoning for the chair to be way over there, but that's where Jensen had deemed it, so Mike was sitting off by himself.

"Don't say that." Jared shushed him, thinking maybe that is a good place to put Mike. "He hates being called pretty."

"Whipped." Chad cackled. 

"I'm going to see if Jensen needs any help." Jared got up, kicking Chad a little harder than necessary, but enjoying it anyway. 

 

The kitchen looked like a war zone but it smelt wonderful. Jared was drawn to the pot bubbling on the stove. Jensen looked up morosely. "We don't have much for food on hand."

"Smells great." Jared inhaled the scent, pulling himself up to sit on the only uncluttered counter. "What's it gonna be?"

"Spaghetti. I was hoping to do something better, but we don't have a lot in the cabinets. You think this'll be okay?"

"Jen, if left on their own, these guys think Fritos and Spaghetti O's are a gourmet meal. They're gonna die if this is as good as it smells."

"You think?" Jensen beamed, looking so cutely eager that Jared just wanted to wrap him up in a hug and never let him go. "You want a taste?" Jensen got a spoon and dipped it into the sauce. Blowing on it, he brought it to Jared. Fitting himself between Jared's legs, he held the spoon in front of Jared. Jared's mouth watered, but it wasn't for the spoonful of sauce. His eyes were drawn to Jensen's full lips as he pursed them to blow on the spoon. Unable to draw his gaze from those lips, Jared opened his mouth, letting Jensen put the spoon in.

It could have tasted like shit, but Jared wouldn't have noticed. Every sense in his body was focused on the man standing so close to him.

"Good?" Jensen questioned hesitantly when Jared didn't say anything. Jared's resolve melted and he yanked Jensen closer so he could kiss him. Heat unfurled between them as Jensen dropped the spoon so he could wrap his arms around Jared's neck, pulling him even closer. Jared devoured his mouth, not holding back anything as Jensen clung to him, kissing him back with as much vigor.

"You're not going to do one of those room by room sex things, are you." Chad's voice broke the mood as affectively as a glass of ice water. Jensen jerked away and scurried to the other side of the kitchen, face flaming with embarrassment. Jared attempted to tamp down the desire surging through him as he glared at his so-called friend who had effectively cock-blocked him. "Cuz....you know...that's just gross." Chad continued, unperturbed by the icy silence in the room. "I mean....seriously...jizz will be everywhere."

"Chad." Tom cut in from the doorway he and Mike were filling. "Shut the hell up!"

"Wha?" Chad looked around the room, his eyes landing on where Jensen was huddling. "Ah, man.....I'm sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets....diarrhea."

Jared blinked. In all the years he'd know Chad, he couldn't remember a time where Chad apologized for his crude mouth. Jensen really did have a magical air about him.

"So...what smells so great?" Mike bounded into the room, rubbing his hands together eagerly. Jensen seemed to snap out of his funk and hurried over to stir the sauce.

"Jen is making spaghetti!" Jared jumped off the counter, grateful that Mike's energetic entrance had prevented a Jensen meltdown.

"What can we do to help?" Tom offered as he stepped farther into the kitchen.

"You guys did all the moving. I can handle the food." Jensen answered quietly.

"Yeah, you don't want Mike touching the food." Tom agreed. "But he can wield a mean dish rag!" Tom prodded Mike in the direction of the sink. "That way the clean up can be done while the food's getting ready."

"Thanks." Jensen smiled shyly. Before long, the group was bickering playfully as the kitchen was cleaned and the food finished. In no time they were balancing full plates on their knees in the living room.

"Dude." Chad said around a mouthful of food. "Food like this deserves a table! How about I buy you a dining room table for your housewarming gift!?"

"Dude, it's spaghetti, not see-food!" Jared groaned pretending to be grossed out. "Jen and I will get furniture soon. We gotta find what suits us."

"You'll need a crib before long." Tom nodded looking thoughtful before turning to Jensen. "Would you mind if I made you a cradle?"

"Made?" Jensen blinked, as if confused. "Like...really make one?"

"Tom is an excellent woodworker!" Mike burst out, swinging his hands in the air which upset the plate balanced on his lap. It would have landed in a heap on the carpet if Jared hadn't have been close enough to catch it from falling. "He made a rocking chair back in high school. Won first prize at the fair!"

"You'd.....want....do that?" Jensen paled. "Make something....for.....us?"

"Yeah. I'd love to." Tom beamed at Jensen. "You okay with that?"

"Hey.....why don't I get asked things like that?" Jared frowned, a little hurt that his friends seemed to ignore the fact that the baby was his too.

"We've seen how you dress yourself." Chad rolled his eyes. "We all agree that Jensen needs to be in charge of all things aesthetic."

Jensen was blushing but smiling so Jared didn't let the insult bother him. How could he be upset about anything that made Jensen smile? These three guys, who happened to be his best friends, seemed to hit it off with Jensen, so life was good. 

 

 

"You tired?" Jared asked as he slid into bed beside Jensen a lot later that night. Jensen was laying on his back on the far side of the bed.

"Yeah." Jensen answered quietly. Jared waited for him to slide over and curl up against him as he'd been doing for the last week or so, but Jensen didn't move.

"You okay?" Jared turned over to face him. Jensen was pale and stiff looking as he stared straight up at the ceiling.

"Yeah." He answered again, but something in the tone of his voice made Jared nervous. Propping up on his elbow, he looked closer at Jensen. Jensen was lying flat, stiff as a board.

"What's the matter Jen? Are you in pain? Did Chad say something to upset you before he left?"

"No." Jensen snapped. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, fine." Jared grimaced. "That's why you're doing an impersonation of a cadaver. If you ever want to go into acting, you can easily be a corpse on CSI."

"Jar-"

"Jensen, what's the matter?"

"It's just.....we're all alone." Jensen admitted dully.

"Yeah....I thought that's what you wanted? You....don't want to be here?" Jared was so confused he felt like he could cry. "You don't like the house?"

"I love the house." Jensen whimpered. "It's just...we're all alone.....anything could happen."

"Any...thing.......?" Jared felt his face cloud up with anger as Jensen's meaning sunk in. "You mean.....anything could happen like I could attack you!"

"Well......um......yeah?" Jensen had the nerve to look reluctant to admit it.

Instantly pissed, Jared rolled off the bed and stood up. Jerking his pillow off the bed, he tried to ignore the fact that Jensen blanched, as if expecting Jared to hit him. Anger pouring out of him, he shoved the pillow under his arm and stomped towards the door. 

"Jared?" Jensen called out, pulling himself up to a sitting position. Jared paused in the doorway, anger and hurt warring inside him. "W-wh-where are you going?"

"I'm going to sleep on the couch, Jensen." Jared snarled. "So you don't have to worry about me. Hell, lock the damn bedroom door when I leave!" With that, he slammed the door so hard he thought he could hear it crack. When he got into the living room, he threw the pillow onto the couch, all of his earlier drowsiness having left him. Standing at the front window, he stared out into the night, seeing nothing but his own roiling emotions. He blinked back tears. After all the progress he thought they'd made, Jensen still didn't trust him.

It was hours before he could bring himself to attempt sleep. When he finally lay down, he slept fitfully. This was not how he'd pictured their first night in the house turning out.


	7. Chapter 7

Jared stumbled into the kitchen to find Jensen already there, staring morosely at his morning glass of orange juice. When Jensen turned to watch him walk into the kitchen, Jared could see the dark rings around his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept at all. Jared didn't say a word, he was still too upset and hurt over the night before. Evidently Jensen could tell, for he looked mighty guilty as he watched him start breakfast with tear filled eyes. 

The morning crawled by quietly with neither attempting to break their silence. They remained closemouthed the entire ride to the workshop. They got a couple of curious looks when they sat wordlessly beside one another but no one questioned them. Misha joined Jeff in leading the group. "A pregnant man will have some pretty severe mood swings-" Misha began. Jared snorted loudly, causing everyone to turn their attention to him. Misha gave him a quelling look, but continued on with his lecture. Chris and Steve kept sending apprehensive glances towards Jared and Jensen and all it was managing to do was irritate Jared more. He refused to be the bad guy in this. He felt that he deserved some major apologizing from Jensen. He'd all but bent over backward to be nice to Jensen, to protect him, yet Jensen still accused him of having evil intentions. 

When the group broke up, Jensen scurried quickly over to be with Gabe, which did nothing but piss Jared off more. Was that the type of guy Jensen wanted? Hell, Gabe wasn't even into guys, so maybe he was perfect for Jensen! Jared remained sitting where he'd been during the meeting, glowering over at Jensen.

"You know, this workshop works better if you're actually paying attention to what's being said." Misha was suddenly at his side. "Mood Swings getting the best of you?"

"I can handle the mood swings." Jared growled, still glaring at where Jensen and Gabe were having an intense conversation. "It's the other stuff that I can't handle any more."

"Want to talk about it?" Misha offered. 

"Do I lay down while you scribble on a clipboard?" Jared snarked. Misha didn't even flinch at his tone.

"Not unless you want to pay me by the hour. Here, we just talk, face to face and it's free." He raised his eyebrows, trying to get some sort of reaction.

"Jensen has....issues." Jared snorted at what he considered an understatement. "I can't discuss what they are to you.....it's his story to tell. Hell, I don't really know it anyway. He hasn't....isn't ready to tell me yet. But....I know some and I can pretty much guess a lot of it. He's been hurt. He's been abandoned. He's all mixed up....or at least it seems like that to me. One minute he's clinging onto me for protection, the next he's shying away like I'm the one he needs to be protected from. I'm doing everything I can to make him feel safe...but it's never enough."

"Maybe you're doing too much?" Misha suggested. "Maybe you should back off and let him find his feet on his own?"

"It's hard." Jared winced. "Jen's got this......thing that makes people want to protect him. My friends barely know him, but they'd do anything for him. I think if we split up, my dad would want to be on Jensen's side."

"You wanna tell me what this fight is about?" Misha was studying him closely.

"I don't really think it's a fight."Jared shrugged. "Jensen doesn't trust me and I'm tired of trying to get him to have faith in me. I don't think I've ever done anything to make him distrust me, but he doesn't feel comfortable with me."

"I think he does trust you, but it's hard for him to show it." Misha surmised.

"Then why did he accuse me of planning on attacking him last night?" Jared scoffed, feeling eyes on him, he looked over to find Jensen watching him. Jared shot an angry look at him, making him look away quickly. "I bought him a fucking house because he was miserable living at my family home. First night there, he's freaking out because he's alone in the house with me."

"I had a dog once. She was a good little dog, but she'd been abused by her previous owner. I loved that dog. She followed me around religiously. I never raised a hand to her, but she would constantly cower. You see.....that's what she was used to. Even though I'd never hurt her, she'd been conditioned to being hurt. She was with me for 12 years and still would cower at times."

"Did you just compare Jensen to a dog?" Jared gaped, astounded that a medical professional would use such an analogy. He wasn't sure what to think. "Seriously?"

"Well...."Misha grinned, laugh lines filling his face. "Maybe a bit. But....my point is... Right now, I can tell he's aching to be over here with you." Unable to resist, Jared looked back to Jensen to find him watching him longingly. 

Jared felt a strange emotion in the pit of his stomach. "I just don't know if I can keep doing this..."

"Think about this, Jared." Misha sighed. "From what I've seen and what Jeff has told me, you and Jensen have something deep going on. Something more than just a baby. You have to think this over. You need to decide if Jensen is worth this?"

 

 

Jared thought about it the whole way home. Jensen remained unspeaking, but he was watching Jared tensely. Once they were in the house Jensen followed Jared upstairs to the empty bedrooms.

"Jared?" Jensen's voice was small, but Jared still wasn't ready to let his hurt go. 

"I'm gonna go get a bed for this room. The couch sucks." Jared informed him.

"Don't." Jensen cried out, reaching over to touch Jared's arm tentatively. "Please."

"Jensen.....I don't know what to do with you. I thought I could handle this but, you're like a broken faucet. Cold one minute, Hot the next! I never know what to expect from you. Last night, in the kitchen, you were into it along with me! I thought we were actually on the same page. Then....you were all but calling me a rapist when we went to bed."

"I'm sorry." Jensen was near tears and it tore something inside Jared to hear the raw emotion in his voice. "I didn't mean it."

"Yeah....yeah you did." Jared pulled away to look out the window. "Tell me something Jen........Since you've came to stay with me.....Have I ever done anything to hurt you? Physically. that is. I know I hurt your feelings a couple of times...but I really didn't mean to..." He didn't believe he had. He thought he'd done everything in his power to make Jensen feel safe and comfortable. But he had to hear it from Jensen. Maybe he had done something that had wounded or frightened Jensen. "Honestly Jen, tell me. Have I hurt you somehow?"

"No!"Jensen cried out. "You've never hurt me! I know you won't....."

"Then what was last night? You were acting like I was going to rape you! I've told you a dozen times that I don't want that from you. Hell....you've offered yourself up on a silver platter and I still haven't taken it."

"I know...." Jensen flung his arms out. "But that's what people want from me! I was born to be a fuck toy! That's it! It's hard.....to accept that you don't want me for sex! My entire life that's what people have wanted and suddenly....there's you! You....telling me that I'm not...."

"So....we take a step back. I'll take this room. We moved into the same room too quickly." Jared motioned to the empty room.

"No! Please!" Jensen begged, coming over to clutch Jared's arm. "I know I'm being selfish...teasing you, but I.....I....I sleep better with you then I ever have. I feel....safe...."

Jared snorted. "Yeah, your impression of a corpse really looked like you were feeling safe with me last night."

"I do! It's just....sometimes.....my head gets messed up." Jensen confessed with a pained look. "I know you wouldn't do anything to me.....I just couldn't help but.."

"Jen...I know you've been hurt.....and it's messed you up." Jared sighed, a little nervous about bringing this up, but needing to mention it. "Misha is a therapist. Maybe you should talk to him? Or...someone like him? They could help you work through this crap better than I could."

"You think I need a shrink?" Jensen jerked back like he'd been burned. "You think I'm crazy?"

"I think you've been hurt mentally as well as physically. I think you could use some help dealing with that." Jared offered timidly before hurrying to assure him. "I don't think you're crazy....but Jen....I've seen traces of some of the things that's been done to you. Hell....I've doctored some of it.....It's got to have messed your head up a little."

The tears that Jensen had been fighting finally let loose, flowing freely down his pale face. Jared couldn't help but pull him into his embrace. Jensen clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder until he was worn out.

"I heard a song once...." Jensen finally murmured as Jared pulled them down onto the floor to lean against a bare wall. "There was a line in it....I think the chorus, maybe. 'My life is a lemon, and I want my money back.' That's me, huh? I'm a lemon and you should get your money back."

"Nah. You've had a crappy deal handed to you, but you're not a lemon. And even if you were....we can add some sugar and make lemonade....or even a pie."

"Pie sounds really good." Jensen chuckled into his shoulder, burrowing closer. Jared laughed aloud, amused that now that the emotional scene was over, Jensen's stomach was taking charge.

"I can't make pie, but how about I whip up some waffles?" He offered, causing Jensen to jerk to a sitting position. 

"You'd make me waffles?!" His eyes were glassy from the tears but there was a sparkle that hadn't been there earlier in the day. Jared could see the exhaustion that all the drama had caused, written clearly on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah....I'm tired of all this emotional, girly shit." Jared levered himself off the floor before offering his hand to Jensen. Once he'd pulled Jensen to his feet, he didn't let go of his hand. "How about you go take a little nap while Bisquick and I see what kind of damage we can do in the kitchen."

"Bisquick?" Jensen scoffed disbelievingly.

"Hey, if you want waffles, don't knock my ability to add water and mix." Jared defended himself as he guided Jensen down the stairs. "The way you eat waffles, I'm going to have to buy Bisquick by the caseload and we'll have to name our daughter Aunt Jemima."

"We are not naming her that!" Jensen punched him lightly on the arm as Jared navigated him to the couch.

"Sit, rest...sleep. I'll wake you when your waffles are ready." Jared tucked a blanket around Jensen who was snuggling down on Jared's abandoned pillow.

"I'm really sorry about last night." Jensen murmured.

"Yeah, I know." Jared placed a platonic kiss on his temple, enheartened to see the small smile Jensen sported because of it. 

 

 

Jared had the waffle mix made up in a matter of minutes, but he let Jensen sleep longer. Jensen really did look washed out from the night before's lack of sleep and the emotional roller-coaster they'd been through during the day. He let Jensen sleep for a couple of hours before he fired up the waffle iron and woke him.

Jensen stumbled into the kitchen after a trip to the bathroom, looking a little green around the gills. "You okay?" Jared was concerned.

"I think I'm just really hungry. I didn't eat much at breakfast." Jensen shrugged as he pulled himself onto a stool at the counter. Jared placed a steaming plate of blueberry waffles in front of him with a proud grin. Jensen smiled his thanks, kindly not mentioning the blackened edges of the waffles. "We have any jelly? How about some green olives?"

"Eww! Gross! I work and slave to prepare these awesome waffles and you want to smear jelly and olives on them!" Jared mocked, blanching a little over the thought of olives on the waffles. Still, he looked in the fridge for the requests and pulled out the jelly. "We'll have to make a list of all your weird requests and make a trip to the store."

"Dr. Jeff said I needed to eat more fruits and vegetables!" Jensen countered around a mouthful of waffle as he slathered the jelly over the top of the rest. Jared made a mental note to buy jelly in larger jars.

"Jelly is not a fruit." Jared arched a brow at Jensen. "And I don't think he was meaning for you to eat it all at once. He also said for you to cut back on the salt and candy."

"Ah..what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Jensen pursed his lips, making Jared want to lick the sticky syrup from them. Instead, he busied himself with retrieving his half-burnt waffle from the iron.  
"We gotta start eating a little better. Healthy stuff like the stuff you made last night! That was awesome."

Jensen blushed, dipping his head as if to avoid the complement. "It was fun with everyone helping me." He admitted. "Can we invite them over again?"

Jared felt a tiny twinge of jealousy spark inside him. He wanted Jensen to want to spend time with him. He pushed the green-eyed monster aside and chose to be happy that Jensen wanted to be around other people. 

"Yeah. I'm glad you like my friends." Jared nodded as he sat down beside Jensen with his own breakfast, noticing that Jensen was nearly done with his. "You gonna want more?" 

"Um...yeah?" Jensen beamed. "I like the blueberries in them!" Jared slid his plate over to Jensen and got up to put more batter in the waffle iron. Jensen busied himself coating his new waffles with butter and jelly. Jared made a mental note to buy jam instead of jelly next time. He thought he'd heard that jam was better for you.

"Oh, hey!" Jensen called out as Jared fetched the milk out of the fridge, thinking that Jensen needed something healthy to counteract all the sugar he was ingesting. "Steve and Chris live behind us. We're like.....backyard neighbors or something!"

"Backyard neighbors?" Jared questioned, shoving the glass of milk towards Jensen. Jensen took a healthy swallow of milk obediently.

"Yeah, we go through our back yard, cross the alley and that's their backyard!"

"That's kinda cool. Their kids can be friends with Jemima." Jared nodded thoughtfully as he dodged the balled up napkin Jensen through at him. "Once you get past the asshole-ish-ness of Chris, he ain't a bad guy."

"Maybe I should bake a pie and we can take it to them." Jensen grinned.

"Then we definitely have to go shopping. I'm not seeing any pie-like ingredients in this place." Jared shook his head sadly. "Ole-Mother Hubbard's cupboards are bare."

"Let's make a list!" Jensen crowed gleefully causing Jared to laugh. He'd never been excited to go grocery shopping, but he imagined that with Jensen, it'd be entertaining, if not fun.

 

 

 

Jared lay in bed, doing what he loved to do best lately. Watching Jensen sleep. Although things had calmed down since they'd moved into the house, the only time Jensen was truly relaxed and unguarded was when he was sleeping. When awake, Jensen was a beautiful man but when he was asleep Jensen was breathtaking.  
So, in the quiet moments of the night while Jensen was sleeping, Jared stayed awake to watch him and think.

Chris and Steve had quickly became staples in the Padalecki/Ackles household. The gates between their yards were forever open. Steve, carrying twins, had suddenly blossomed into a full bellied man that had a slow lumbering gait, but it didn't slow the man down. When Steve wasn't waddling over to see Jensen, Jensen was making his way over to see Steve. 

Jared really loved the fact that Jensen had made friends with the couple. He felt better about leaving him home alone all day while he was at work. Since Chris worked out of his home, he was there to deal with the two pregnant men and their cravings and mood swings. As a reward, Jared would supply Chris with a cold beer, an open ear and a quiet moment on the porch in the evenings. During these times, Jared found that Chris' initial asshole behavior was only a front, a way to hide the actual softy that was inside him. 

Oddly, while Jensen's growing friendship with the two gay men didn't bother Jared, the relationship between Gabe and Jensen drove him nuts. He felt twinges of jealousy whenever he caught Jensen on the phone with the single man, but he tried to bite his tongue, refusing to say anything that would come between them.

But, as the month of August grew hotter, so did Jensen's temper. The slightest thing would set him off and Jared felt like he was walking on eggshells. He tolerated it, as long as Jensen remained curled up beside him at night. 

He even tolerated Jensen's sudden aversion to anything sexual. Gone were the carefree mornings of giving Jensen hand-jobs. All the progress that they'd made seemed to evaporate. Jensen shied away from even letting Jared see him shirtless. Jared was okay with that, as long as he got to lay beside him, talking to the baby inside his stomach every night before they went to sleep. Jared would chat about anything and everything to the baby, swearing that the baby was hanging on his every word. Jensen would sometimes giggle over his inane babble, but more often than not, he fell asleep to the sound of Jared's voice. On nights like this, Jared wondered who he was bonding with more, the baby or Jensen. He'd give the slumbering man a gentle kiss and pull him into his arms so he could watch him sleep until he himself drifted into dreamland.

 

 

 

Sunday dinners with his father were something Jensen insisted on, no matter how badly he felt or how busy Jared was. No matter what, they arrived at the Padalecki house in the late afternoon and stayed until Jensen was nodding off. Jared's Aunt Lauren, who gushed over Jensen, soon became a regular at Sunday dinners. Aunt Lauren soon insisted she be allowed to throw a baby shower for Jensen, ignoring Jared's protests. Aunt Lauren was like that, once she got something in her head, she was like a dog on a bone, she wouldn't let it go. Normally, Jared didn't mind being that Aunt Lauren was his favorite member of his extended family. With her loud brash attitude and easy-going smile, she was a welcome change to the family norm. But if she did anything to upset Jensen, he wanted to put a stop to it before it got out of hand. Not that she would purposely do anything to upset Jensen, Jared didn't think she had a mean bone in her body.

"Aren't baby showers for girls?" Jared tried to deter from her plans. "I mean....we're guys. We're not gonna oh and ah over a bunch of frilly dresses and shit like that."

"Jared, watch the language in front of the ladies." Henry reprimanded, pointing his butter knife at him warningly.

"That's what I'm saying. What kind of guy would really want a baby shower?" Jared argued. "Jensen's not gonna want to sit with a bunch of gushing pregnant women playing silly baby games." He glanced over to Jensen, who had a strange, unreadable expression on his face. It gave him pause, thinking maybe Jensen wanted all that?

"It's a way for people to share their excitement about the baby." Aunt Lauren rolled her eyes. "I'm not planning on a traditional shower. He won't be surrounded by women and strangers. You guys have friends, right? Other pregnant men? I'd invite them along with the family members. The family would like to meet Jensen. It'll be more of a party then a shower. Just....with gifts."

"So, you're saying you want us to have a party....for the simple reasoning of wanting presents?" Jared groaned. "We can afford our own baby supplies. We don't need to beg for others to give us stuff." 

"Jared?" Jensen interrupted quietly. "I wouldn't mind getting to meet more of your family."

"It's settled then!" Aunt Lauren boasted. "Give me a list of who you would like to invite and I'll handle the rest."

Jared groaned, turning to Jensen while Lauren was gushing about all the things she needed to do to prepare for the party. "Just remember that I tried to get you out of this, when it gets out of hand."

"No one has ever thrown a party for me." Jensen whispered, making Jared's heart break for the life that Jensen must have lived.

"I'll throw you a party all the time." Jared leaned over and gave him a kiss on the end of his freckled nose. "Whenever you want. For whatever reason." Pulling back, he was rewarded with a bright smile.

Chris, Chad, Mike and Tom were suddenly roped into helping Jared decorate the nursery for Jensen. Once Jensen decided which room the nursery was actually going to be in, he fretted over the correct color and what theme to go with.

"Wow, if I didn't already know you were gay, "Chad grumbled, running a tired hand through his spikey blonde hair. "This would definitely tip me off! A purple room!"

"It's lavender." Jensen spat back. "And she's a girl! She may have two fathers, but she's still gonna want to be a girl! Lavender is feminine but not as bad as pink."

"Please, don't get him stressing about the color again." Jared pleaded, dipping the roller in the paint again. "He's been debating about this for a month now. He's changed his mind a million times! We actually have four gallons of paint that he changed his mind about."  
"What's wrong with a nice yellow? Not masculine but not so.....girly!" Chad complained, snarling at the paint on his brush. 

Mike reached over and smacked Chad's brush, popping Chad in the face with it. "Now you're girly." He grinned. Jared tried to smother his laughter, but once Jensen started laughing, he couldn't withhold his own cackling.

After the laughter died down, Jared pushed Jensen out of the room. "Now go! You're not supposed to be in the paint fumes. Go see if Tom has got the crib set up yet or if he has killed Chris instead."

"Steve's in there. He'll protect Chris from Tom. Not that I think Tom could do anything that mean." Jensen leaned up and gave Jared a kiss on the cheek. "If Chris gets too irritating, Tom can send him in here with you."

"Oh No! I don't get stuck in here with Chris, Mike and Chad!" Jared protested. "Chris is your buddy, you get to keep him in line."

"I'm thinking I got the better deal." Jensen grinned devilishly, looking pointedly over Jared's shoulder where Chad and Mike were sword fighting with brushes, managing to have more paint on themselves then on the walls. Jared groaned and hurried over to rescue what was left of the paint.

 

 

"Gentlemen. This will be Gabe's last session with us." Jeff announced as everyone settled into their seats. "By this time next week, he and his son, Nathaniel will be safely cocooned in the hospital."

Gabe gave the doctor a small, grateful smile as everyone murmured well wishes to him. Jeff quickly launched into a detailed plan of what Gabe should expect. Everyone paid close attention, for they all would be soon preparing for this.

When the group ended, everyone hung around extra long, someone had provided a little buffet of healthy snacks that all of the pregnant men migrated to. Jared chatted amiably with a couple of the guys, but mostly just watched Jensen interacting with the others. In the month and a half since they first came to the workshop, Jensen had became comfortable with the others and no longer needed to hang by Jared as if needing protection. It was a bittersweet victory, in Jared's opinion.

"He's really lucky to have you." a voice to his right startled him. Jared jerked his attention from Jensen to find Gabe standing beside him, looking exhausted. Jared got up, immediately offering his seat to the heavily pregnant man. Gabe smiled his thanks and allowed Jared to assist him in sitting. Gabe clasped onto Jared's arm for balance and Jared was amazed at how thin and boney the man was. Over eight months pregnant, he was all stomach, but in all actuality, he was frail. Frailer than Jensen had been when he'd first shown up on his doorstep. Jared felt guilty for thinking badly of the man.

"Thanks." Gabe sighed, sinking into the chair. "You don't like me much...do you?"

"I don't really know you." Jared shrugged, ashamed that his jealousy had shown so clearly.

"You may not know me....but I can tell you don't like me talking with Jensen all the time." Gabe pushed the topic. "I just wanted you to know.....you have nothing to worry about with me. For one, I'm not gay. Jensen is my friend, nothing more. For another thing, I'm not one to move in on someone else. Never have been, never will be. And mostly....because he's crazy about you. Any fool can see that."

"Yeah, right." Jared rolled his eyes. "I'm sure he is."

"When he's talking with me...you know what he's talking about? You. He's always telling me about how great you are. He brags about the things you do, the things you say.....everything."

"Like what?" Jared frowned, not believing that the smaller guy was telling him.

"Jared, I probably know as much about what you do at work as you do." Gabe gave him an indulging smile. "He tells me every detail that you tell him."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Gabe gave an affirmative gesture before continuing. "Trust me, he talks about how wonderful you are all the time. He worries that he's not worthy of you. I personally think he's a great guy, so I'm thinking he is more than worthy of you."

"He is!" Jared turned, his eyes immediately searching Jensen out. He caught Jensen watching him with apprehension and sent him a smile to indicate that everything was fine. Jensen seemed to breathe easier, offering a small smile before rejoining the conversation he had been in with Randy and Jeff.

"See that." Gabe chuckled knowingly. "That's something special. He's lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have him." Jared countered softly, still watching Jensen.

"I tell ya...if a guy like you was at my back, the odds of me surviving this would be better. Heck, I'd be willing to turn gay for someone like either one of you." Gabe crinkled his face at the thought, indicating that he really wasn't interested in being with a guy. "Well.....not really...but still.....To have what you guys don't even realize that you have...."

"Jensen is a great guy." Jared stated, not really having a point beyond that.

"Yeah. He's been a great friend. I don't have the support group that you've given him, so I'm grateful for any time that he gives me. I didn't mean to monopolize him, but......he understands what I've gone through and what I'm dealing with more than anyone in this group." Gabe indicated the room full of men. "It's helped to be able to talk frankly about what happened."

Although Jared was assured that Gabe wasn't out to take Jensen from him, he still felt a smattering of resentment that Jensen had obviously talked to Gabe about things. This must have shown on his face because Gabe gave him a sympathetic look. "He hasn't really talked to me about it. But, he'll talk to you about it, Jared."

"Not until he trusts me." Jared felt the prickle of tears in his eyes and blinked them away. "He obviously trusts you more than he trusts me."

"No..."Gabe disagreed. "It's just that....he's afraid you'll think badly of him or be mad at him."

"I wouldn't.......I've already figured out the most of it....."Jared insisted. "Whatever he needs to tell me, it won't change my opinion of him."

"He'll get there." Gabe offered reassuringly. 

"Yeah." Jared straightened as Jensen approached. It warmed his heart that although Jensen smiled at Gabe, It was Jared that he came to stand beside. He stood so close that they were nearly touching, Jared could feel the heat radiating from the other man on his skin. 

"You guys are talking so seriously over here." Jensen teased, giving Jared a happy smile. Jared couldn't resist wrapping an arm around Jensen and pulling him closer. Jensen gave him a questioning look but didn't pull away. He wanted to kiss him, but knew that would be pushing it too far.

Jensen shocked him, he leaned over and placed a chase kiss on his cheek. Jared turned to study Jensen, feeling his heart stutter to a stop and then start back up erratically. Jared tightened his grip on Jensen, hoping that Jensen wasn't just pretending.

"I was just fixing to see what Jared thought about the two of you becoming Nathaniels' Godparents. I guess we could even call you his Fairy Godparents?" Gabe's pale face shifting to into a playful grin.

"Really?" Jensen gasped, sounding awed by the idea.

"You hardly know us." Jared wheezed, shocked at this turn of events.

"Jensen and I have gotten to know one another quite well." Gabe twitched, almost shrugging. "And through him, I feel like I know you quite well."

Jensen shifted uncomfortably, seemingly ill at ease with Gabe's disclosure, but Gabe pressed on. "Besides....this whole thing," He paused, indicating his engorged stomach, "has caused me to find out who my true friends are......basically.....no one from my past....except maybe my brother.... He's coming down to be with me for the operation."

"Really!" Jensen grinned, sounding so relieved, that Jared assumed that it had been something worrisome. "That's great Gabe!"

"Yeah...he called today. He and his wife are taking a few days off to come be with me. I didn't think Melanie, of all people would.....she's the one that can't have babies. And here I am.....a man....fixing to give birth....in a manner of speaking."

"I'm really glad for you." Jensen reached out and patted Gabe's arm. Jared watched the contact. Jensen wasn't normally a tactile person. It stunned him that Jensen could reach beyond his own comfort-zone to soothe another.

"I can't speak for Jensen," Jared sounded a little choked up, in his own opinion. "But, I'm honored you'd ask this of us."

"Of course we'll do it."Jensen agreed with a smile bright enough to light up a room. Jared leaned back, pulling Jensen more snuggly against him. Life was going good. So amazingly good.

 

 

 

On the last day of August, Julie interrupted the meeting Jared was in."Mr. Padalecki."

"Julie?" Jared frowned after an apologetic glance at Jerome, who he was trying to discuss a contract with. Julie knew better than to interrupt meetings, so he was instantly concerned.

"I'm sorry to interrupt....But there's a Christian Kane on the phone. He says it's an emergency."

"Christian Kane?" Jared repeated, the name sounded familiar but his stressed mind couldn't place it.

"He says it's in regards to Jensen?" Julie sounded worried.

"Chris!" Jared gasped, feeling like an idiot that he didn't recognize Chris' full name. "What line?"

"Line two sir, I'll put him through."

"Chris?" Jared was nervous. He didn't know that Chris even knew his work number. "Is something wrong?"

"You need to come be with your boy." Chris's voice was terse. "He needs you....now."

"What's the matter?" Jared demanded, already getting up.

"It's Gabe." Chris sounded like he was trying to whisper. "He had his operation today."

"Oh?" Jared paused, he glanced at the calendar on his desk...He could have sworn that Gabe's operation was scheduled for tomorrow. He'd arranged for the day off so he could be with Jensen during it. He said so much to Chris.

"There was some sort of trouble and they had to take him in early...... Jared, he didn't make it." Chris explained quietly. "He had Jensen on his call list. The hospital just called him. Jensen's not taking it well. Come get your boy."

"I'll be right there." Jared slammed the phone down, hurrying to the door, throwing an absentminded apology over his shoulder to his coworker. "I'll get back to you Jerome. Family emergency."

 

 

Jared broke every driving law possible on the way home. He jumped out of the car while it was still rolling and rushed into the house. He found them all on the couch together. Chris was holding a crying Steve. Jensen was curled up by himself, dry eyed. Steve's hand on his ankle the only thing connecting them. It shocked Jared that Jensen wasn't crying. 

"Jen." Jared came to sit on the other side of Jensen. "Sweetie?"

"He's dead." Jensen told him dully. 

"I know. I'm sorry." Jared pulled Jensen towards him. Jensen was stiff in his arms, his freckles standing out starkly on his pale face. Chris got up, pulling Steve to his feet, they quietly slipped out the back way, leaving Jared to deal with Jensen who went limp in his arms."I'm so sorry." 

"He didn't want any of this. He had a good life with a happy family. He didn't deserve any of this. Those men did this to him. They...murdered him." Jensen murmured in his ear as he hung loosely in Jared's arms. 

"I know. He was a good guy." Jared squeezed Jensen, trying to get some sort of reaction from him. "I'm sorry."

"Jared?" Jensen questioned, sounding like he just realized who was holding him.

"Yeah babe?" Jared rocked him, pulling him fully in his lap.

"Gabe's dead. I didn't get to say goodbye." Jensen sniveled.

"I know. I'm sorry." Jared smoothed Jensen's hair back from his face. Jensen stared back at him, dry-eyed. "What can I do to help you, Jen?"

"Promise me....if it comes down to it, and you have to make a choice. You'll chose her over me." Jensen clutched at his arm, almost painfully. "Promise me?"

"I can't do that Jen." Jared felt his heart break. "I can't make that decision. I want you both."

"But....she's new.....fresh....I'm used up and broken. I'm all wrong. I'll never be normal Jared. She can be normal. She can have all the normal things that I didn't get. She can be....good." Jensen entreats, near tears. "Promise me."

"You won't die. Neither will the baby.. You'll both be fine."

"You really won't promise me this?" Jensen looked hurt.

"No, Jen. I really can't. I won't choose between the two of you." Jared winced as Jensen's face crumpled. If he were to speak the truth, he'd tell Jensen that he'd chose him over the baby. Guilt ate at him for even thinking that. What kind of father was he? How evil do you have to be to willingly chose your lover over your child? And, ironically, Jensen wasn't really his lover..yet.

Jared didn't know what else to do but hold Jensen tightly and rock him. Evidently that was what Jensen needed, for he finally broke down and allowed his grief to overtake him.

 

 

Jensen took his grief seriously. He literally shut down. He refused to leave the house except for his doctor's appointment. He was wan and listless, no matter what was going on. No one seemed to be able to cheer him up. Jared tried everything and everyone he could think of. Jensen just seemed to sink further and further into his depression. He rarely spoke, hardly slept and had to be prodded into eating. 

The color that Jared had watched blossom on Jensen's face vanished, to be replaced by the return of the dark circles that ringed Jensen's dull eyes. It got to the point where he began to fear for Jensen's health. Out of ideas, he called Doctor Morgan.

Doc Jeff called a special workshop for everyone. Jared had to literally drag Jensen, kicking and screaming to it, but he got him there. Jeff began by going over Gabe's condition and what happened during the operation. Jared watched Jensen who was pretending not to listen, but he could see the tears glistening in his eyes. After Jeff went over the details, Misha took over.

"Although your physical health is important, your mental health plays a big part of how you fare." Misha looked around the group, pointedly stopping at each of the pregnant men. "You all know the trouble Gabe had emotionally during his pregnancy. Gabe was virtually abandoned by everyone who had ever meant anything to him. He'd lost everything and that caused him to lose hope."

"He knew he was going to die." Jensen spoke up, shocking everyone, Jared included. "He told me he would."

"See." Misha nodded. "If you give up on yourself, then you don't have the chances that being healthy gives you." Misha's bright eyes scanned the room again. "None of you have the problems that Gabe had. I don't see any of you that doesn't have an ideal situation. You all have caring partners, friends and a support system in this workshop and outside of it."

"But...health-wise....some of us have a better chance than others." Randy spoke up. 

"Yes, but that's true in everything. No two of you are the same. No two of you have the exact same experiences, and your bodies are not the same. How they react to what happens will be completely different." Jeff cut in, in an attempt to be the voice of reason. "And some of you started out in better health than others." Jeff's eyes flickered briefly on Jensen and Jared felt a slow burn in his stomach. If he read him correctly, Jeff thought Jensen was the weakest of the group. He swallowed roughly, feeling his heart in his throat.

"Wh-" Jared started to ask, but had to clear his throat. "What can you do to make sure you're healthy enough?"

"Following your doctor's advice to the letter." Jeff suggested with a toothy grin, showing his dimples through his salt and pepper beard. When nearly everyone groaned at his weak joke he shrugged. "Seriously guys. You just gotta do everything possible to be healthy. Eating right. Gentle exercising. If I recommend that you go on bed rest.....keep your ass in the bed."

"The orgasm thing? "Scott questioned. "Did that really effect Gabe? Would he have survived if he'd been having sex?"

"There's no way of proving that." Jeff sighed. "All I can say....is there are proven health benefits to having orgasms. But whether or not that would have affected Gabe....I can not say." Looking around the group tiredly. "I don't want to lose any more of you. Please, eat right. Stay active with moderate exercise. Tell me if there's anything that feels off to you, whatever it is. No matter how small it may seem, I want to hear it. Get plenty of rest. Keep your partners informed about how you feel."

"And stay positive." Misha added. "Gabe loved you all. He wouldn't want to be the cause of any of you falling ill."

 

 

"That was for me, wasn't it?" Jensen questioned on the way home. "You arranged for them to say that. To have the meeting.....because of the way I've been acting."

"Jen.....you've been scaring the shit out of me." Jared confessed, keeping his eyes on the road as the rain splashed down heavily. "And, yeah. I called Jeff. I asked him what to do to get you to snap out of this. Misha arranged the meeting. They chose what to say, I didn't tell them anything to say."

"I was really scaring you?" Jared could feel Jensen studying him. 

"Jen....you haven't eaten, slept or spoken voluntarily since Gabe died." Jared tried to explain. "You didn't acknowledge that anyone was there to see you, much less speaking to you."

"People came to see me?" Jensen questioned, sounding shocked. 

"Every day!" Jared squeaked loudly. "Mac, Megan, my father, Aunt Lauren....The guys from group. Even Chad, Tom and Mike. Neighbors that I didn't even know we had came to see you! By the way....do you seriously know everyone in the neighborhood?"

"Pretty much." Jensen sounded sheepish. "I'll have to apologize to them all for being so rude."

"You can make it up to them next weekend." Jared mentioned, trying not to sound like it was a big deal.

"Next weekend?" Jensen repeated, "What's next weekend?"

"Your baby shower. The one you told Aunt Lauren that she could throw for you."

"Oh!" Jensen gasped, sounding a little high-pitched. "Oh!"

"Yeah, oh!" Jared chuckled. "You're going to have you cheeks pinched by every old lady in my family. ALL of your cheeks!" he added smugly.

"Really?" Jensen's voice was small, showing his sudden case of nerves. 

"Yup. And they'll ask rudely personal questions. The same questions over and over. How we met. When we're getting married. What we're naming the baby. They'll ask about your family. They'll ask about your schooling. Hell, they'll ask what size of jockeys you wear so they can send you some for Christmas."

"Why didn't you get me out of this?" Jensen whined.

"I tried!" Jared cried out in his defense. "But you were so excited about a party that you wouldn't hear the reasons why I was against it."

"Oh." Jensen replied quietly, making Jared feel bad for scaring him. 

"Don't worry about it Jen. I'm just being an ass." Jared tried to calm him. "I'll be there with you the whole time. So will Mac. Tom is going up to pick her up on Friday."

"Tom's bringing Mac?" Jensen sounded confused and excited all at once.

"Yeah, I figure he's the safest bet. If Chad or Mike were to do it.....no telling if everyone made it back alive and with all their original parts where they should be."

"You're so good to me." Jensen sighed, moving close enough to place a hand on Jared's thigh.

"So....what are we naming her?" Jared asked the question that had been bothering him for ages.

"I don't know." Jensen sighed. "Don't you have any ideas?"

"Well...like I've said before. Since she'll be as pretty as you...she needs a pretty name, nothing plain. But not too.....foo-foo."

"Foo-foo?" Jensen asked with a laugh. "What's Foo-foo?"

"The weird ass names celebrities name their kids. Paris.....Serendipity..."

"Serendipity?"

"Yeah...no weird ass names either. No Scout, Rumor, Chastity, Apple, Moon-Zappa, Rainbow or things like that."

"Wasn't Moon-Zappa a boy?"

"Maybe? Who the hell cares?" Jared laughed as he pulled into their driveway. "My point is....no weird ass names."

"My name is a weird-ass name."

"Not so much." Jared frowned, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to face him. "I think it's a cool name."

"Weird. I was teased constantly by kids at school."

"Probably shouldn't be a really long name either." Jared continued, ignoring Jensen efforts to change the subject. "We're already giving her a mouthful of a last name. Can you imagine having a name like Esmeralda Padalecki-Ackles?" Jared cocked his head to the side, watching Jensen growing upset. "Or should it be Esmeralda Ackles-Padalecki? Which sounds better....I mean...not the Esmeralda part. But the way to hyphen her name? Ackles first or last?"

"Just Padalecki." Jensen insisted. "No Ackles at all."

"Why?" 

"I don't want her to be an Ackles." Jensen demanded. "I don't care what you name her, just not Ackles."

"Okay...." Jared answered slowly, choosing to agree, based on the amount of anger Jensen seemed to build up over that subject."Do you have any suggestions? I'm thinking about giving her my mom's middle name, Ann. Does that sound okay? Ann for a middle name? Something Ann Padalecki."  
"Yeah. That's good." Jensen nodded, his smile a little bittersweet. Jared suddenly thought that Jensen might be wanting to name the baby after his own mother.

"What about your mother? What was her name? Don'tcha wanna name the baby after her?" 

"No!" Jensen yelled with such malevolent anger that Jared jolted back. "I don't want to name our child after her! She left me! She didn't die, Jared! She LEFT us with him! She was a selfish bitch! She couldn't handle it so she left ME to deal with it! I was a child! I shouldn't have had to deal with....any of it."

"Yeah." Jared swallowed hard. This was big. They were close to Jensen telling him what had happened. Jared didn't want to push, but he wanted Jensen to tell him.

But Jensen didn't tell him anymore, he broke down in heart-wrenching tears. Jared couldn't help but pull him into his arms as the man sobbed his heart out. When Jared's shirt was drenched with his tears and he'd finally calmed, Jensen curled into his embrace, playing with the sopping material. "Why am I unlovable?"

"You're not. You're very lovable. I love you. Mac loves you. My family loves you."

"You do?" Jensen blinked, his eyes going wide. 

"Yeah, I do." Jared gave him a squeeze. "Think I'd let just anyone destroy my shirt with snot and shit?"

Jensen laughed softly at that, but didn't pull away. "You said....that you weren't sure. You said you thought you....could love me....but wasn't sure."

"Yeah...well...I was an idiot." Jared sighed. "I think I've been in love with you all this time. Probably from the moment you stood up to my dad in his study."

"Why?"

"Because.....you're.....you?" Jared shrugged. "Can't explain it. I just know it's true." Jensen grew quiet and thoughtful as they sat in the truck in their driveway.

"I want to name her after your mother." Jensen declared suddenly, "Name her after your good memories of her."

"Um?" Jared felt his brow crease as he tried to figure out what he meant. "I thought that's what Ann was about."

"No. You said your favorite memories were of being with her in her garden. I want to name our baby after that. I want to name her Lily."

"Lily?" Jared tested it out on his tongue. "Lily Ann Padalecki."

"Yeah?" Jensen pulled back, sitting up as he studied Jared's expression. 

"Yeah. I like it." Jared grinned. "I'm....honored you want to name her after my mom."

"You really like it?" Jensen questioned worriedly.

"I don't like it." Jared frowned, watching as Jensen's face fell. "I love it. You're a genius." Jensen's face cracked into the most glorious smile as he chewed nervously on his bottom lip. Jared couldn't resist pulling him back into his arms to plant a kiss on his lips. 

 

 

"So." Jared cocked an eyebrow at the exhausted man flopped across the couch. "What are ya gonna do with fourteen pink diaper-bags?"  
"I don't know." Jensen sighed tiredly. "I don't even want one pink diaper-bag! We're gay...but...pink?But, it was nice of them."

"What'd ya think of the family?" Jared sat on the end of the couch, pulling Jensen's feet into his lap, massaging them gently. Jensen let out a sexy little moan in response and let his eyes close.

"They're....nice. I kinda felt like they were all judging me.....measuring me up against something..." Jensen peeked at him with one eye. "I think I like Aunt Lauren best still. She's loud, opinionated and mouthy, but she's......more....real? She doesn't hide what she feels, she just says it."

"It figures!" Jared laughed, pausing in his ministrations until Jensen nudged him with his foot to remind him. Continuing his massage, he explained. "Aunt Lauren is the only one that's not really related to us. She was my mom's best friend. When Mom died, Aunt Lauren was the one there for us. She's the one that made sure Meg didn't become an uncouth heathen like the rest of us."

"She doesn't really fit with the bunch of them." Jensen murmured.

"Yeah, she's been like that. It's hard to believe it, but she's from old money. She just refuses to let that define her."

"She'll be a good influence for Lily." Jensen said sleepily. "She really seemed to like our choice of names."

"She did. So did Dad." Jared watched as Jensen began to relax into a light doze. His father had been more than happy. "Take a nap, Jen. I'll take all the loot upstairs to the guest room. We can deal with it later."

"Can you put Tom's cradle in our bedroom?" Jensen asked. 

"He really is good, huh?" Jared grinned proudly. Tom's gift, although expected, was by far the best present at the party. After the cradle was presented, Jensen couldn't stop touching and looking at it. 

"It's....breathtaking." Jensen sighed, his eyes fluttering again.

"I'll put it in the bedroom. Then I'll make some dinner for us. You rest up. That was quite a bash."

"Waffles?" was the sleepy request.

"Yeah, I'll make waffles." Jared chuckled. He'd become quite the expert on making waffles. He didn't even need the mix anymore. "Banana?"

"Sounds good." Jensen nestled deeper into the couch as Jared slid out from under his feet. Jared was almost out of the room when he heard Jensen call out his name.

"Yeah, Jen?" He turned to find Jensen was wide awake, studying him with a strange look on his face.

"Were you serious about wanting to marry me?"  
Jensen swallowed, his Adam's Apple bobbing nervously.

"Of course I was." Jared nodded, not sure where this came from. Perhaps all the nosy relatives questioning him had gotten to Jensen?

"Can we? Soon, I mean." Jensen petulant expression broke Jared's heart.

"Sure. Whenever you want." Jared agreed.

"As soon as possible." Jensen decided, chewing on his bottom lip as he did when something was bothering him. "Maybe....this week?"

"I'll see about arranging it." Jared shot a questioning look at him. "What's going on Jen?"

"I've just been thinking....since Gabe." Jensen sighed. "I know you want me to think positive, but I have to think about Lily's well being too. I want to make sure she's safe...just in case."

Jensen's words hurt Jared as cruelly as a knife wound. It was like a bitter pill stuck in his throat. He wanted to marry Jensen with every bone in his body. But, he wanted Jensen to want to marry him, for him. Instead, Jensen was marrying him for what he could provide him, for safety. He'd told Jensen that he loved him, but Jensen didn't return the favor. Jensen didn't love him. Jensen just needed him.

Jensen's beautiful green eyes slipped over his face, reading the hurt there. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. Jared nodded, unable to form words through the pain he was feeling. Turning, he headed to leave the room again.  
"I can't offer you more." Jensen's quiet words followed him. "But...just so you know....I'd never marry anyone else but you. I don't trust anyone but you." Jared didn't pause, he needed to escape. He needed to be alone with his thoughts, to get them straightened out. His emotions were swirling inside of him, making him unsure of how he was really feeling. His pride was hurt that Jensen didn't....couldn't love him. But on the other hand, he was relieved by Jensen's parting words. He knew that Jensen had a delicate sense of trust and if he trusted him enough for such a commitment, perhaps there was hope after all?

Jared's mind shifted through all of this while he unloaded the car. He wanted to be mad at Jensen for his inability to love him, but in his heart, he couldn't. He wanted to feel hopeful that Jensen was at least willing to marry him, but it was hard. From what he'd experienced with Jensen, it seemed that for every step they took forward, they fell back three. It was hard to remain hopeful with that weighing his mind.

 

 

Jared woke up feeling disoriented. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but he was exhausted and overly stressed. Jensen had been sleeping restlessly since Gabe's death which caused Jared to sleep restlessly. Work had been piling on him, causing him to bring home his work, which caused him to stay up late. 

Stumbling to his feet, he blinked wearily at the clock on the wall. Shit, he needed to make some dinner for Jensen. Rubbing his hand wearily over his stubbled face, he headed to the kitchen, wondering if Jensen was going to want waffles yet again.

Amazingly, the kitchen smelled wonderfully of something other than waffles. Making his way over to the stove, he lifted the lid of the pot simmering on the stove and inhaled. Stew, glorious stew! Real meat! With veggies and potatoes! It was a rare occasion that anything other than waffles were cooking in this kitchen. Jared spun on his heels and headed to find Jensen, ready to kiss him senseless.

"Oh!" Jensen startled as Jared came into the office. He yanked his glasses off guiltily and began to shuffle the papers he'd been reading around on the desk.

"Whatcha doing Jen?" Jared came over to the desk in time to see Jensen shove his latest contract back into his folder.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!" Jensen sputtered looking terrified "I-I-I d-didn't mean to snoop! I was just moving the files and it caught my eye!"

"It's no big deal, Jen." Jared reached over and put a soothing hand on his shoulder. "Relax. I don't care that you're reading the contract. Was that the Rawson Inc. one? I'm about ready to yank my hair out over that one."

"Really? Why?" Jensen pulled the contract back out. 

"There's something that feels off, but I can't find it." Jared leaned his hip against the desk so he could lean over and look at it as Jensen did.

"Well, I noticed the wording is saying one thing, but meaning another here." Jensen pointed out a passage. "I don’t know much about this kind of thing but it's obvious that they're trying to jilt you out of some of the net profits."

"What?" Jared leans over his shoulder to reread the passage indicated. He read it three times before catching what Jensen meant. "Well, holy shit! How the hell did I not see that?"

"You're really tired lately." Jensen looked up at him sadly. "You're too stressed and I'm keeping you up at night."

"It'll get better." Jared shrugs, looking over the paper again. "You're awesome! Maybe I should hire you to look it all over for me." He chuckles until he sees Jensen's look of hopefulness. "You want to?"

"C-could I?" Jensen beams a lopsided grin at him. "I get bored a lot."

"Yeah. If you can spot shit like this." Jared highlights the passage. "I'll give you my firstborn!"

"I think you already did." Jensen laughs, patting his round belly.

"Well....we'll think of another form of payment, huh?" Jared leans over and kisses Jensen until their growling stomachs beckon.


	8. Chapter 8

Jared sighed miserably as the automatic door opened for him. The cool autumn air blew in his face, making him shiver. It was late, it was cold and he just wanted to be home in bed, with Jensen snuggled up against him. Instead he was here, at an all night store with all the other zombie-like customers.

"Hey Jare." Chris' voice drifted to him in the darkness. Jared turned, scanning the shadows for his friend. The only indication that Chris was there was the red glow from his cigarette. 

"I thought you quit." Jared said as a greeting as he approached the smaller man, who was leaning against the brick wall of the all night grocery store.

"Steve told me to quit. I said I'd try. This is me....trying." Chris bit out, sounding irritated.

"Problems with Steve?" Jared came to lean against the building beside him, pleased that the wind seemed to veer away from this area.

"Besides sending me on a two a.m. craving run? Yeah....he's a cranky bitch. I can't do anything right lately. Hell I can't even be wrong correctly." Chris vented. This shocked Jared, Chris and Steve seemed like the perfect couple to him.

"Jensen's getting crankier too." Jared admitted. "I thought it had been bad when the temperature was higher, now that it's getting colder, Jensen seems to have even more to complain about."

"Exactly!" Chris commiserated. "And where is Steve while I'm on a run for Cheetos and Apple Juice? In our warm bed! Asleep! He won't even want this shit when I get back. And Lord help me if I actually wake his ass up when I do!"

Jared nodded even though he doubted Chris could see him. If he were to be truthful, he didn't mind the food runs. They usually made Jensen happy, whether he actually ate the stuff or not.

"What'd you get sent for?" Chris asked, sounding a little less upset after getting to expel his annoyance.

"Lemon yogurt and graham crackers." Jared shook the bag.

"Well hey, no waffles? No green olives? That's an improvement."

"We had waffles for dinner....again. And I have Charlotte buy me the green olives in the gallon jars at Costco when she goes there for Dad." Jared chuckled.

"You're a good almost-husband." Chris stated with an extra twang in his voice. "I don't know if I could handle it if Steve wanted the same thing to eat every night."

"Oh, I get to mix it up a bit. Apple waffles, blueberry waffles, whole-wheat waffles, chocolate chip waffles...strawberry waffles..." Jared let himself trail off as Chris guffawed loudly.

"Malcolm came through his operation with no problems. Healthy little boy. Randy's set to go in less than two weeks." Chris changed the subject when he was laughed out. "Won't be long until Jeff puts Steve on bed rest. Jeff thinks he'll have to move his operation up. He says it's common with multiples. I guess I'll be a dad before Thanksgiving."

"Wow!" Jared was shocked. "You ready for that?"

"Not really. But Steve is. He's tired of lugging around that stomach of his." Chris sounded concerned.

"Can I ask....a personal question?" Jared was hesitant to ask, but Chris was the only one he could think of to talk to this about.

"Shoot." Chris lit another cigarette, eyeing him through the darkness.

"How's your....sex life? Has it changed since he got pregnant?" Jared asked reluctantly.

"Yeah. We can't really be spontaneous anymore. We used to go at it like rabbits, I could bend Steve over any surface. Not anymore.....we have to be more careful. Right now....IF he's in the mood.....we have to take the time to find a comfortable and safe place for Steve. Pretty much just leaves the bed, missionary position. He can’t even cowboy like he used to, balance is all wrong, he says.”

"He's....still interested in sex?" Jared felt his face flushing.

"Yeah." Chris answered cautiously. "Not so much now that he's so miserable." After a long pause he asks. "Jensen's not?"

"Well....."Jared winces, wondering if he's going to hell for talking about Jensen behind his back. "You know that our relationship is.....different." Jared pauses, before continuing, assuming that Chris nodded in agreement. "We haven't had real sex since the night he got pregnant. Jensen....he's got some issues with sex. But, I thought we were working through it. Hell...he'd never had an orgasm before me.....and once he did.....he was up for me giving him a hand-job all the time, and...it was cool. I felt close to him. Then...just like that. "Jared snaps his fingers. "Nothing! He doesn't want me to touch him. He wants the kisses and the petting, but nothing more. I haven't touched his dick in months!"

"I know Steve went through a time when his dick was super sensitive. He said it was so sensitive that it hurt for his jockeys to touch it, so he certainly wasn't about to let me at it." Chris offered.

"Jensen doesn't tell me things like that." Jared murmured, feeling extra guilty for saying so much traitorously. "Maybe that's it?"

"Maybe you should talk to him about it?" Chris suggested.

"No. I don't push Jensen. I promised him that I'd let him call the shots." Jared explained morosely. "If I mention it to him, he'll feel obligated to....do something, whether he wants to or not."

"So...you're kinda stuck?" Chris stamped out his cigarette. "That's tough."

"All in all.....I think he's worth all the misery he puts me through." Jared chuckled dryly. "Cuz I love him."

"Yeah. You're right, kid. Steve's worth it too." Chris stood straight. "Thanks for digging my head outta my ass before I said something stupid to Steve.” Jared watched the other man take off to his car, wondering how it worked out that he helped Chris by complaining about his situation. Shrugging he headed to his own car with his badly needed treats that would go untouched.

When Jared arrived back home with the yogurt and crackers, Jensen wasn't asleep in bed. Jensen was awake and sitting in the living room waiting for him.

"Hey." Jared greeted him holding up the bag with his purchases. "You want your loot right now?"

"No." Jensen gave him a deep look as he worried his bottom lip. "Um....can we talk?"

"Okay." Jared placed the grocery bag on the coffee table and sat down on the couch beside Jensen. He didn't know what this was about, but by the way Jensen was acting, he knew this was going to be a major talk.

Jensen continued to bother his lip, staring down at his hands. Jared waited but began to realize that Jensen wasn't going to start talking on his own.

"Are you getting cold feet about getting married?" Jared probed. As much as it hurt him the way the marriage was coming about, Jared felt a sharp pain in his heart at the thought the Jensen didn't want to marry him at all. "Just say the word, and I can cancel our appointment."

"No!" Jensen looked up at him, eyes wild. "It's just.....there's something I have to tell you.....and it might make you change your mind about wanting to marry me." Jensen went back to staring at his hands, his voice lowering. "I just don't feel right about....not telling you.....beforehand."

"Whatever it is.....I won't change my mind. That's what love is, Jen. The want to be with someone, despite everything." Jared reached over and took Jensen's hand in his own, feeling a slight tremor in him. He rubbed his hand between his big ones, as if attempting to warm him. "Hell, Jen.....I'm so far gone you could tell me that the baby doesn't exist and I'd still be set to marry you."

"If she doesn't exist...what the hell is this?" Jensen laughed roughly, using his free hand to indicate his stomach. Now, as his time approached, Jensen's stomach seemed to be growing at an alarming rate, his slender frame doing nothing to hide his pregnancy.

"Um....."Jared pretended to consider it. "a basketball under your shirt?"

"I'm as big as a basketball?" Jensen gasped, studying his stomach. "Seriously, Dude?"

"No." Jared laughed. "I was just trying to make a point that I'm not gonna back out, no matter what."

"Don't make that promise until you hear what I have to say....." Jensen went back to looking nervous.

"I won't say it again, but it's the truth." Jared shrugged. 

Jensen grew quiet again, chewing his lip so much that Jared was afraid that it was going to start bleeding. He could feel the tremors in Jensen intensify as he became more stressed.

"Jen..."Jared ran let go of his hand with one hand so he could run his hand through Jensen's hair. Jensen leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "Whatever it is....you don't have to tell me right now. Not if it's upsetting you this much. Whatever it is.....I don't care."

"No...."Jensen's eyes flew open to gaze tear-filled into Jareds. "I need to tell you this. I can't go into this marriage to you with a lie."

Jared waited, one hand clasping Jensen's while the other played in his soft hair soothingly. 

"I've lied to you....." Jensen shivered. Jared felt a pang in his chest, his mind instantly whirling. Had Jensen lied about the baby? Was the baby not his? Had there never been a night on the beach between them? He mentally shook himself. None of that mattered to him. Not really. He already loved Lily, whether she was his or not, he was going to be her father. And he loved Jensen with everything he had. Every breath that Jensen took seemed to make him love him more. None of this mattered to him.

Jensen was watching him, evidently seeing the doubt in his expression. Jared gave him a smile. "Whatever it is, Jen, we can deal with it."

"But I'm a sick, sick person." Jensen swallowed roughly, turning away from Jared's gaze. "After I tell you this....you might want to take Lily from me.....so I don't taint her with my.....depravity."

"Jen...I know you....you don't have a corrupt bone in your body." Jared argued.

"You don't know that." Jensen shook his head, still not meeting Jared's gaze."You'd be surprised at how sick I can be."

"Jen....please, you're scaring me. Just tell me what this is about."

"I'm not the downy innocent you think I am." Jensen blurted out in a rush of breath. "I've probably had more sex than you have!"

Jared didn't know what to say at this. Jensen pulled away from his touch, curling into the corner of the couch.

"It doesn't seem possible." Jared finally told him.

"I had my first dick in my mouth when I was nine years old!" Jensen spat, sounding angry and disgusted. Jared swallowed, realizing this was it. This was Jensen admitting that he was abused."I've lost count of how many that's been there since then!"

"Chuck?" He finally asked when it seemed that Jensen was shutting down.

"My Mom left us a couple of days after my ninth birthday. Chuck was always mean to her....hurting her. My earliest memories are of her crying in her bedroom. The walls were thin....I could hear the things he did and said to her. Finally.....she had enough. She packed up her stuff and walked out. But...she left us too. She left me and Mac there with him. The night she left, Chuck came into our bedroom after I got Mac asleep. He told me that it was our fault that Mom left us." Jensen snorted at that, picking at his fingernail with his thumb. "He said that since we chased Mom away....we had to make up for that. He gave me a choice....me or Mac.

"I didn't know what he meant, but I had a bad feeling about it. Mac was still just a baby....so I told him that I would do it. He grabbed me out of the bed and yanked me into the kitchen. I thought he wanted me to cook him dinner or something...at first. He told me to get undressed. I was confused....scared really....but I did what he demanded. He grabbed the mustard out of the fridge and pulled me into the front room." Jensen shivered, swiping at his eyes as tears leaked down his face. Jared wanted to reach out for him, but he pulled away from his touch.

"He dropped his pants and smeared mustard all over himself. He shoved my face into his crotch and told me to lick it off. I was crying and telling him I didn't want to, but he kept shoving my face down, cursing me. If I tried to stop....he'd hurt me. I cleaned off the mustard as good as I could. It took me a long time. He got off on it...three times. By the time I was done....I had his cum and mustard in my hair, in my mouth and all down my front. When he was finally cleaned off....he slapped me...called me a cock-sucking whore and told me to go to bed. I threw up all over the place."

Jared tried to console Jensen, but he jerked away from his touch. "Don't!"

"Jensen...."

"Don't!" Jensen pushed away. "Let me tell you this!"

"You don't have to." Jared whispered, "But I'm listening."

"Every night...he made me do that. I hate mustard." Jensen cringed at the memory. "He liked hurting me. He got off on hurting me. He'd pinch me down there. But before long....that wasn't enough. He made me suck his dick. If my teeth so much as grazed him....he'd hurt me. I learned to do it right so I wouldn't get hurt. I learned to do it good enough that he got off quickly. But that just made him want more. When I was twelve...he started sticking things in me to hurt me. Any time I fought him or anything...he'd threaten Mac. As long as I kept him happy, he left her alone." 

Jensen paused before continuing with his verbal diarrhea. "I was thirteen the first time he......fucked me. When I was fourteen.....he had me go down on a guy to repay a gambling debt. Another time, it was to pay for car repairs. He did that a lot after that. He insisted that he stay in the room while it happened. He said it was for my protection....but I knew it was because it got him off."

"That wasn't sex, Jensen." Jared murmured, wanting so badly to hold him, but knew he couldn't, by the way Jensen was holding himself away. "That was abuse. That was done to you."

"I allowed it to happen, Jared. He and his friends....hurt me all the time and I allowed it to happen. They did....terrible things to me.....so terrible that I couldn't hardly walk for days. Mac figured out what he was doing.....I didn't think I could ever face her after that. She wanted me to run away.....but I couldn't. I stayed. I let him do those things to me."

"She loves you Jen, as do I. We don't blame you for this. You were a victim. You're not to blame." Jared put out his hand, silently offering Jensen his comfort. Jensen gulped visibly and accepted the offer. Jared pulled him up against his chest. Jensen tucked his head under his chin, curling his body against Jareds. He placed his hand on his chest, as if feeling his heart beating. "I don't blame you. I blame Chuck. I want to kill him."

"Sometimes I do too." Jensen spoke into Jared's neck. "I hate him. I hate my mother for leaving me with him. I hate all those men for doing those things to me. I feel so full of hate at times. I feel like I'm not worth anything unless I'm......used for sex."

"You should hate them. But you shouldn't feel worthless. You're worth so much more then any of them. And not for sex." Jared whispered, kissing Jensen's forehead reverently. "None of this makes me want to call off the wedding. It just makes me so much more amazed at you. You're so strong, and you don't even know it. I could never have lived through that, much less become as great of a man as you are."

Tears were streaming down Jensen's face, wetting Jared's neck and shoulder. He sniffed and cleared his throat. "I'm not strong at all."

"Yeah, you are. You didn't let him beat you down. You lived through it. You got through school and made sure your sister did too. You got through it and then found a way out."

"Didn't make it out with the way I'd planned." Jensen sniffled. "I really didn't plan this."

"Yeah, I know." Jared gave him a devious smile. "Can't say I'm upset about that. I got a good deal out of it. A daughter and a husband."

"You really want to marry me still?" Jensen pulled back letting his eyes sweep over Jared's face, as if looking for the truth in his expression. 

"Of course!" Jared captured Jensen's mouth in a hungry kiss, tasting the fire that resided under all the dredged up pain. Jensen relaxed into the kiss, almost kissing him back before he twisted away.

"I'm clean, Jared." Jensen's face twisted as if pained. "It stopped the day Mac moved out. I got tested. And.....there's no doubt that you're Lily's father....they did a lot of things to me....but they always used a condom when they fucked me. You're the only one....ever."

"I've always known that you were a virgin before me." Jared told him, feeling something clinch deep inside him at the thought."

"No, Jared." Jensen let out a ragged breath. "I don't think I've ever been a virgin."

"Yeah. I'm the first person you ever wanted to have sex with. We had sex on the beach. Someday....when you're ready....we'll make love. There's a difference. What you experienced before was abuse. What we did before, was sex. What we do from here on out....making love."

"And you're.....okay with what I am? What I've done? You're okay with me not.......wanting more?" Jensen questioned once again. "That I don't ever want to have sex again?"

"What you are?" Jared frowned. "You're a great man. A brave man. Someone to look up to. I know I do."

"Jared..." Jensen sighed. "It doesn't seem fair to you..."

"What you've done?" Jared ignored Jensen's interruption. "You've overcame a horrible situation." He caressed the side of Jensen's face, watching Jensen soak in the affection. "You've managed to become a wonderful man and made sure your sister avoided the same fate. If people knew about what you survived, they would bow down as you walk pass."

"You're a nut, you do know that, right?" Jensen chuckled softly, nuzzling into Jared's touch. 

"Only for you." Jared recaptured his mouth again, this time Jensen returned the kiss with as much vigor. Jared knew that even though this wouldn't solve Jensen's problems, getting it off his chest was a step in the right direction. They had a long, rough road ahead of them, but they'd make it. He could feel the hope surging through him as he tucked Jensen's smaller frame against him.

 

 

A few days later, they were married at the courthouse with Chris and Steve as their witnesses. Henry, Megan and Aunt Lauren all came, but none of them happy about the small affair. Henry took them all out to dinner at a fancy restaurant where Chris, Steve and Jensen looked and felt out of place. Jensen scooted closer to Jared, as if he could shield him from the gaping looks they were receiving. Pregnant men were still considered an oddity. A male pregnancy in the upper-class was pretty much shunned and to see two in one place was unheard of.

"I'll take ya out for ice cream and waffles tomorrow as our celebration to make up for this." Jared promised in a whisper. Jensen gave him a strained smile but relaxed some. Jared didn't know if it was just wishful thinking or not, but to him, Jensen seemed a little more relaxed since his big confession.

"I have to at least put out an announcement about the wedding." Aunt Lauren finally insisted. Jared felt Jensen grow tense beside him.

"No parties." Jared countered. "No presents." He didn't feel this was an occasion for celebrating. He felt like this was a mockery. A man didn't marry someone for the sake of someone else. Jared didn't feel like this was a real wedding, and certainly not a real marriage. It was just all wrong. He wouldn't consider it a real marriage until Jensen loved and wanted him for him.

"Just an announcement, then." Aunt Lauren looked irritated but unlike her, she agreed. 

"Thank you." Jensen offered her a small smile. He kept glancing at Jared like he could read what he was thinking. Jared wondered if he had any real inkling.

"We'll need a photo for the paper. I'll hire Ian Scott and set up a photo shoot." Aunt Lauren decided for them.

"No ma'am." Jensen argued, surprising Jared when he did. "I have the perfect one. Chris took it of us a while back. I've been meaning to have it enlarged and framed anyway."

"Well...."Aunt Lauren looked disappointed but after a warning glare from Jared, she agreed.

*********************************************

 

"Well gang." Jeff rubbed his hand through his scruffy beard as he did when he was thinking hard. "Our little group is shrinking. Yesterday, Randy came through his operation with flying colors. Little Larry is doing great and they are scheduled to head home in a couple of days.

The three couples remaining murmured their joy at the news before Jeff continued. "Both Steve and Jensen will be put on complete bed rest within the next week or so, so I'm going to migrate George and Jorge into another group so they won't be completely abandoned. So....basically, this is our last official meeting of this group."

The group let out a unified moan to which Jeff countered. "Hey, this is a good thing guys! We've successfully brought two healthy boys into the world this week. The bed rest is to assure the next birthing operations go just as smoothly."

"Says the man not stuck in the bed with only Chris as entertainment." Steve groused.

"Used to be that you liked how I entertained you in bed." Chris snarled back, looking insulted and angry.  
"Okay boys!" Jeff cut in, eager to prevent a fight. "How about we change that subject! Anybody have a subject they'd like to discuss?"

"I wanna discuss Steve's dick." Chris piped up.

"You're an Asshole!" Steve punched him, Jared could tell he didn't pull the punch, it was meant to hurt Chris and did, if the way Chris rubbed the spot was anything to go by.

"Damn it Steve!" Chris hissed. "I didn't say you're a dick, I said I wanna talk about your dick!" He looked at Steve as if that was an improvement in topics.

"Gentleman!" Jeff barked with a wince as Steve pinched Chris. "What exactly do you want to talk about Chris?"

"I wanna know if it's normal for him to stop wanting sex." Chris got up and moved to the chair across from Steve, out of reach as Steve took a swipe at his head. "He doesn't even want me to touch his dick."

"It hurts, you Bastard!" Steve growled. "It feels like it's got needles poking in it and you wanna tug on it!"

"That's perfectly natural. Your bodies are adjusting to something its not meant to deal with it. That can cause pain." Jeff seemed relieved to be able to explain it away. "Chris, you need to be patient with Steve's wants. Steve, you need to keep your partner informed about how you're feeling." Turning to look at the rest of the group, Jeff went on. "Guys, your partners are in this as much as you, just not as physical. It's important that you talk to him. Tell him why you don't want to be intimate instead of just turning them away. They aren't going through this the same way you are and are most likely already feeling left out. If you start turning them away in the bedroom, they're gonna be hurt."

Jared felt Jensen's gaze on him as he reached down and took Jared's hand in his, his long fingers playing with Jared's big hand lovingly before moving to place their joined hands on his baby mound. Jared glanced over at this, seeing the apology in Jensen's face. He gave him a quick smile before turning his attention back to Jeff. He saw a brief look pass between Chris and Steve and confusion slid through him. Chris sent him a wink, pretending to be greatly interested in what Jeff was saying.

That's when it dawned on Jared. Chris and Steve were in on this together. They were play acting! They weren't really fighting. They weren't having problems in the bedroom. They had done that for Jared's sake. To get Jeff to talk about it in front of Jensen. Jared swallowed back the emotions that threatened to expose themselves. His friends were awesome! 

********************************************

 

It wasn't until bedtime that Jensen brought up the groups discussion. "I'm sorry, Jared."

"For what?" Jared paused, midway through changing into his pajamas. Jensen was already bundled under the covers, looking small. Jared quarked a brow at his husband when he didn't answer, then resumed changing. He could feel Jensen watching him as he did and took a little longer than normal. It felt good to have Jensen looking at him. He allowed himself to flex his muscles subtilely, wishing he could see his reaction. 

"For shutting you out. For not being able to give you want you want....in bed." Jared could hear the bed rustle as Jensen sat up a little.

"I've told you from the beginning....I just want you....whatever you want to give me." Jared dropped his shirt and placed a knee on the bed. "But....I gotta tell ya....It was hard, at first, when you went from wanting me to touch you to not letting me. Was it like Steve said....was it hurting you for me to touch you?"

"At first, it was." Jensen confessed, flushing. "For a while there....it hurt like hell to take myself in hand to take a piss. And of course....I have to piss a lot."

"But....it doesn't now?"

"No." Jensen shrugged. "It hasn't for a while."

"Then....why don't you want me to touch you?" Jared pleaded, crawling closer so that he was lingering over Jensen, but not touching him anywhere. "I thought...you were liking it when I touched you?"

"I did! I do!" Jensen insisted with a large nod. "But by then....I had this huge ass stomach and I looked disgusting. I still do! I look disgusting."

"Only to you." Jared sat back on his haunches. "I happen to like that huge ass stomach. That huge ass stomach is housing my child. My Lily." Jared reached out to caress the baby mound through the pile of blankets Jensen insisted they have on the bed. "How can you think this is disgusting? This is our baby."

"Jared....you haven't seen me naked...it is disgusting!" Jensen insisted, but Jared could tell that his resolve was fading with every word he spoke. 

"I haven't seen you naked because you haven't let me. I bet I wouldn't think you're disgusting. Hell, I thought you were hot when you were face first in the toilet puking your guts up."

"Really?" Jensen offered a shy smile, his eyes lighting up.

"Do I look like I'm lying to you?" Jared motioned to his face.

"I don't know. You've never lied to me......so I don't know what you would look like when you lie." Jensen shrugged. Jared felt his heart swell at Jensen's words.

"So...."Jared turned his puppy dog eyes on him. "Can I see your belly now?" He tugged teasingly at Jensen's blankets but not enough to actually pull them off of him. 

"Now?" Jensen looked startled, glancing down at where Jared was touching his blankets.

"No." Jared breathed out, feeling a little disappointed. He released his hold on the blankets and started to move back to his side of the bed.

"Jared....wait." Jensen reached out, laying his cool hand on Jared's arm. "I wasn't saying no!"

"I don't want to force you into anything. Just...know that I'll never be disgusted with anything you do or have done." Jared told him, letting his words have a double meaning, whether Jensen caught that or not.

"You're not forcing me to do anything. You never do." Jensen pushed the pile of blankets to the side, revealing his swollen stomach encased in a large flannel maternity top. "I'm...just.....nervous, is all."

"Why are you nervous?" Jared moved back to Jensen, his eyes moving from Jensen's face to the flannel covered mount. "Don't you know how fascinating this is? You're body is carrying a child. Our child! Your body is growing to protect her and nourish her." 

"You find strange things interesting." Jensen laughed as he took the hem of the shirt and pulled it up, revealing the stretched skin.

"Can.....I...touch.....?" Jared's hand hovered over, waiting for Jensen to give the okay. He wanted to know if the skin was as silky-smooth as it looked. He could see dark stretch marks on Jensen's lower stomach where the quick growing baby had pulled the skin too tight. He wondered if it felt any different then the rest of the skin.

"Yeah, Jare....you can touch me." Jensen nodded, biting his lip in a sudden case of nerves. Jared didn't wait to give him a chance to change his mind. He reached out, placing his hand on top of Jensen's stomach. Jensen's skin was warm and smooth. Jared walked on his knees closer, so he was kneeling over Jensen, placing both hands on his stomach. "Hey baby." He whispered, leaning forward. "Bet you can hear me a lot better without all those silly covers between us. Huh, baby girl?" Jared ran slid his hands over the soft, pale skin reverently. He was amazed and awed by the feel of it. A nerve quivered under the touch of his left hand while a slight movement met his right. 

"Yeah, you can feel me, huh baby?" Jared blinked back tears as he felt his daughter shift under Jensen's skin. "Bet you know I'm your Pa, huh? Your daddy is letting me see you now."

Leaning forward again, Jared placed a kiss on the spot where he felt Lily. He heard Jensen's indrawn breath and looked up at him. Tears were streaming down his face onto the pillow below. "I'm sorry." Jensen breathed out softly.

"For what?" Jared cocked his head, releasing Jensens' stomach to wipe away the tears trailing down his rosy cheeks.

"For keeping you from her." Jensen explained, nuzzling into Jared's touch. "I've been a selfish bastard. Being vain and all."

"I think it's beautiful." Jared said truthfully, running his hands over Jensen's stomach again. He found a stretch mark with his forefinger, following it gently until it tapered off. "Do these hurt."

"A little bit sometimes." Jensen sighed. "They itch more than anything."

"Do you put anything on it?" Jared frowned. "I read in the baby books that you should put cream or lotion on the stretch marks nightly."

"I usually don't remember to." Jensen yawned. Jared frowned at him before crawling over him to the lotion sitting on the nightstand. Squirting a large amount into the palm of his hand, he rubbed his hands together to spread the lotion and warm it up. Jensen still flinched at the first touch. Unable to get to Jensen's other, side, he moved to straddle Jensen's thighs.

"Jared?" Jensen questioned as Jared slathered the lotion over the marks marring his lower stomach.

"If you're not going to take care of yourself then I will." Jared informed him, focusing hard on the marks.

"You're always taking care of me." Jensen's eyes filled with tears again.

"That's what I promised to do." Jared shrugged, still looking at the stretch marks.

"Can I take care of you?" Jensen questioned, raising his thigh so that it rubbed up against Jared half-hard dick. Jared jerked back, startled. 

"Jen." Jared warned focusing back on the lotion. When every mark had been well covered more than once, Jared moved on to the rest of his stomach. "Just....let me touch you." He ran his hands up under where the shirt was bunched to finger his nipples. "I love to touch you." He told him when he let out a small gasp and shifted. Jared could feel his reaction against his thigh.

"C-can I touch you?" Jensen gasps out as Jared continues to play with the sensitive nipples until they're erect.

"Jen, you don't have to ask. I'm yours to do whatever you want with." Jared husks, his voice caught in desire and emotion.

"Whatever?" Jensen grins up at him. "Then get off me asshole."

"What?" Jared is confused. He thought they were having a moment. Feeling heartbreaking anguish, He scrambles to get off of Jensen. Turning away so Jensen couldn't see the pain in his expression, he moves to his side of the bed. He hears Jensen shifting, assuming that he was either getting up or turning away.  
After getting to touch him and be so close, he didn't think he could face staring at his back. 

"Jared?" Jensen's voice is a little questioning. It's clear, not muffled by blankets like it normally is when Jensen shuts him out, so Jared has to turn to look. Jensen is laying on his side, facing Jared, holding the blankets up as if he wants him to join him. He's removed his shirt and there's goose-bumps on his skin. "Jared?" He says again, prompting Jared for some sort of response.

"What?" Jared swallows, unsure what Jensen is wanting.

"You said I could touch you. I can't reach you way over there." Hurt is beginning to tint his vivid green eyes. "Did you change your mind?"

"I thought you had." Jared admits as he scrabbles to get under the covers with Jensen. He lays on his side, facing Jensen. Immediately Jensen's cool hands slide over his chest.

"I'm sorry." Jensen apologies, his attention on the skin he's caressing. "I can't lay on my back for very long. It hurts. I'm...still....okay to do this?"

"Yeah." Jared moans, leaning forward to run kisses along the underside of Jensen's jaw. "You can do whatever you want.....with me."

"Anything?" Jensen questioned, his fingers catching in the trail of hair below Jared's navel. 

"Anything." Jared promises, his eyes slamming shut as Jensen began to playing with the elastic band of his sleeping pants. Just from that teasing touch, he was rock hard and straining for more. "Just....anything."

Jensen seems to grow bold at this. He pushes Jared's pajamas and boxers down, his long fingers trailing over Jared's cock as he finds Jared's mouth with his. Jensen's kiss is hot and dirty, unlike anything Jared has felt with him. Usually Jensen's kisses are chaste and tentative. Jared, in shock, let Jensen lead the kiss.

"What are you doing?" Jared has to ask, feeling excitement and trepidation warring inside him.

"You said I could do what I want. I want this." His hand slithered over his dick, jacking him in a loose grip. Jared bucked forward, letting out a string of garbled words. "You okay with this?"

"Yeah." Jared cries out as Jensen slithers lower in the bed, his tongue teasing Jared's navel.

Jensen's thumb brushes the nerves under the head causing Jared's cock to pulse and his hips jerk involuntarily. More garbled words stream out of his mouth, unchecked. He wants to protest, to tell Jensen that this isn't necessary. He opens his mouth to say it, but he's quickly distracted when Jen tightens his grip in the upsweep.

"You want this drawn out or do you want it quick and hard?" Jensen questioned in a teasing voice. "I can do either way."

"Quick!" Jared grunted. His pent up frustration wasn't going to let it happen any other way. It seemed like his fantasies were coming true and if this was just a figment of his imagination,he didn't want the dream to evaporate before he got off. 

Jensen begins to jack him rough and hard, just on the verge of being painful. Jared slammed his eyes shut, he could feel his orgasm approaching fast. Jensen definitely knew what he was doing. Jared cries out as he feels the slide of Jensen's wet tongue across the tip of his cock. He erupted into the most magnificent orgasm that he could remember having, just from the touch of Jensen's tongue.

When he opened his eyes, he felt his dick give a few pathetic spurts at the sight of Jensen wiping his cum off of his beautiful face. He'd cum all over his face and hadn't had his eyes open to see it. "Shit, Jen." Jared rasped, pulling Jensen up so he could kiss his cum smeared lips. "You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't mind." Jensen looked as shocked for saying that as Jared felt hearing it. "I hadn't planned on it. It just.....felt right."

"Well, I think it'll feel right for me to return the favor." Jared grinned and proceeded to do just that.

 

*********************************************

 

Things were looking up for Jared. He was completely in love with his husband who was opening up to him and letting him in that pretty head of his. His sex life seemed be be broadening. They were back to morning hand jobs but now Jensen seemed to be bolder and more eager to go a little farther. He had hopes that he was finally winning his husbands heart.

Work wasn't as stressful now that Jensen sat with him in the evening to go over the contracts. Jensen had a sharp eye and a quick mind. He figured out things instantly that had taken Jared years to comprehend. Sure he was still loaded with contracts, but it didn't seem as painful if he got to spend his evenings going over them with his husband by his side.

Jeff had deemed both Jensen and Lily healthy enough that Jensen didn't require being put on bed rest yet, as long as he took it easy.

According to Jared, Life was pretty damn good!

 

Which is why he should have expected something to come up to mess it all up.

 

***************************************

"Jared!" Julie was as white as a sheet as she barged into his office a few days before Halloween.

"What's the matter, Julie?" Jared demanded as he rose to his feet, he'd never seen Julie look so upset before. He hurried over to where Julie was standing, shaking like leaf.

"Line Two! I....I think it's Jensen! It all sounds....weird."

Jared launched himself across the desk, grabbing up the phone. "Jen?" He pressed his ear to the phone, straining to hear something...anything.

"Jared." Jensen's voice was panicked in those two syllables.

"Sweetheart? What's the matter? The baby?"

"Help me......p-p-please....He.....here...."A noise in the background muffled what Jensen was saying. "NO!!!" Jensen cried out as the phone line went dead with a fatal click.

"Jensen!" Jared screamed into the dead phone uselessly. Grabbing up his cellphone, he hit speed-dial as he yelled for Julie to call the cops, running out the door.

Dread ran icily through his veins as he waited for the phone to be picked up. He took the stairs down to the garage, flying down the three flights of stairs without hardly touching a step. He knew that he was too far away to do any good.

"Hullo?" the phone finally crackled to life.

"Chris!" Jared screeched into the phone as he fumbled for his keys. "Get to Jensen! Now!"

"Jared?" Chris questioned, but Jared could tell he was already on the move. "What's going on?"

"I'm too far away! You have to get there! He's got Jensen! Kill the Bastard if you have to Chris!" Jared snarled as he started the motor. His transmission howled in pain as he threw the car into reverse.

 

Chris' phone went dead. Jared could only pray that Chris was with Jensen as he flew through the streets like a madman.

Sirens bloomed behind him, as he blew through the third red light, but he refused to slow down. He hit their road at a break-neck pace, slamming into Jensen's precious white picket fence like it was butter. The front wheel of the SUV was half on the front steps when the truck finally slowed to a stop with Jared already scrambling out. He catapulted over the hood of the truck in his haste to get inside.

A sick feeling lurched in his already queasy stomach as his eyes landed on the front door hanging uselessly on a broken hinge.

"Jensen!" Jared screamed, flying into the house. The living room was in shambles. Furniture was thrown all around, but Jared couldn't see Jensen, so he didn't care. A drop of blood was bright on the floor in front of the overturned couch. "Oh God."

Spying a smear of blood on the wall beside the bedroom door caused Jared to go blind with fear. "Jensen!" He plowed into the bedroom, feeling the sharp sting in the air as his head nearly came in contact with a flying baseball bat. 

"Oh Shit! Jared!" Chris gasped in time to check his swing aimed for Jared's head. Chris stood with a protective stance over a prone figure on the floor. "I thought you were him, coming back!"

Jared paid his friend no mind, his entire focus on his husband on the floor. He shoved past Chris without a word. Collapsing on his knees, he pulled Jensen into his embrace. "Jen?"

Jensen's eyes were open, but staring sightlessly ahead. "Sweetheart?" Jared tugged him closer, trying to catalog his injuries. His bottom lip was bleeding and there was a gash at his hairline that was pouring blood. It was hard, as Jensen was attempting to curl into a fetal position, his arms clasped around his middle as if in an attempt to protect his unborn child.

The world seemed to get deathly silent as Jared took in Jensen's state of undress. His favorite maternity tunic hung in tatters around his neck, having been ripped apart, revealing angry red marks on his ribs that were already beginning to swell and bruise. His pants were in much the same condition. His entire left leg bare from the waistband to the calf of his leg. "Jensen?" Jared pleaded. Only the steady beat of Jensen's heart on Jared's thigh let him know that Jensen was alive.

There was a dull roar of noises and voices, but Jared paid no attention to it as he begged Jensen to answer his cries. 

"Get him a fucking ambulance!" Chris' yell finally broke through the fog Jared was currently residing in but Jared continued to clutch his catatonic lover, ignoring the police as they demanded he let him go.

The world around him was a swirl of chaos with only the steady thump-thump of Jensen's heart keeping him sane.

"Jared." Jeff's gravelly voice broke through his haze. "Let him go. I need to check him over." Jared turned to see the doctor squatting beside him and blinked. How did he get here? Jared moved to release Jensen into the doctor's care, but that seemed to awaken Jensen, who clutched at Jared desperately. 

"The baby!"Jensen's low cry broke Jared's heart. He blinked down at Jensen to find Jensen's eyes were wide and clear as he held his stomach. "Jared? The baby!"

"Ssh." Jared soothed, allowing his arms to go limp as Jeff and another man took Jensen from him. "Doc Jeff is here, Jen. You'll be fine!"

He hovered over Jensen, not wanting the man to be out of his reach. Now that Jeff was with him, Jared allowed himself to notice his surroundings. Chris was over in the corner being worked on by a medic while he talked to two police officers. Chris had a cut on his cheek and what looked to be a broken nose. His left arm was being bandaged by the medic. 

"Jared!" his father's voice echoed through the house. He barreled his way into the room, sharp eyes taking in the scene. "What the hell happened?"

Two men followed Henry in, company lawyers, who immediately began talking to the police officers in the crowded room. Jared had to smile, Julie had thought of everything. He definitely owed her a big raise.

"Jared?" Jeff's voice broke into his thoughts. "We gotta get him to the hospital. He's having contractions."

"It's too soon!" Jared cried out as they loaded Jensen onto a stretcher. 

"That's why we need to get him to the hospital. I need to try to prevent him from delivering now." Jeff assured him. "Come on, he needs you with him."

An officer tried to prevent Jared from leaving with the stretcher, but was waylaid by one of the lawyers. A moment later, the ambulance doors were closing behind Jared as he slid in beside Jensen.

*************************************

 

Jared paced the confines of the waiting room. He'd been pushed aside when he tried to follow Jensen into the emergency room. He watched the clock as time seemed to crawl by. There seemed to be hours between each click of the minute hand. No one would tell him anything and his only company was his own worry and vivid imagination.

"Jared!" Chad's voice rang out as he came skidding into the waiting room. "Your Dad called and told me you were here! What the hell happened? Is it the baby? Jensen?"

"I.....I....I don't know!" Jared sobbed allowing his friend to pull him into a hug. He confessed all he knew into the smaller man's shoulder taking comfort where he could.

"So...it was his father?"

"I guess so?" Jared pulled back, sniffing as he wiped the tears from his face with a swipe of his hand down his face. "I don't know. I didn't see him. Chris.....chased him off, I guess?"

"Where's Chris?" Chad demanded. 

"Home, I guess. Steve's on bed rest and was probably scared shitless. They live right behind us. He most likely heard all the sirens, right after Chris goes tearing out of the house. Chris better be with Steve....we don't need another early labor. Chad? What am I going to do? I can't lose him! I love him.....so damn much!"

"He'll be okay." Chad gave him a healthy pounding on the back, in an attempt to sooth him.

***********************************

"Jeff!" Jared called out as he spotted the doctor. He flew to his feet along with his friends and family that had gathered with him in the last two hours. "How is he? How's Jensen? Where is he? Can I see him?"

Jeff looked exhausted. "He's stable. We were able to stop the contractions." A collective sigh of relief went up in the room. Jeff glanced around the room. "We're not out of trouble yet. The slightest thing can trigger labor again. I'd like to give Lily a couple more weeks, if we can. But if he goes into labor again, we'll have to take the baby to prevent problems for Jensen."

"Whatever it takes to save Jensen." Jared murmured quietly to Jeff. "I can't lose him!" Jeff gave him a nod of understanding, hurt and pain in his eyes. 

"I'll do whatever I can, Jared." He promised, wrapping a strong arm around his shoulders. "I'll take you in to see him. He's asleep now, but he'll need you when he wakes."

 

**********************************

 

Jensen remained in his drug-induced sleep for the next 38 hours and Jared never left farther than the connecting bathroom, no matter what anyone said. Jeff had a cot set up in the room for Jared, but it was too far away from Jensen, so Jared remained in the hard backed chair, where he could hold onto Jensen's hand.

"Jare?" Jensen's slurred voice started Jared from the light doze he'd fallen into, his chin lolling against his chest.

"Jen!" Jared was instantly awake. "How ya feeling?" He scrambled to get closer, pushing the call button so a nurse could come check on Jensen. "God, you scared me."

"The baby?" Jensen questioned, his big eyes searching Jared's face for a sign.

"She's fine. She thought she wanted to come out early, but Doc Jeff convinced her to stay where she's at."

"That's good." Jensen relaxed into his pillow, his eyes closing in obvious relief. Bruises and freckles stood out against his milky skin, making Jensen look younger than his actual years. Jared leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, causing Jensen's eyes to open back up. "Jared?"

"I was so scared I'd lose you."

"Naw." Jensen manages to smile at this, a sweet, tired smile, but a smile none the less. "You're stuck with me."

"Promise?" Jared leans forward to capture another kiss. 

"Yeah. I promise."

"Well, looks like Prince Charming woke Sleeping Beauty with a kiss." Jeff calls out with a chuckle as he comes into the room. 

"Prince Phillip." Jensen corrects as Jared straightens and pulls away. "Wasn't Prince Charming that did that."

"Dude.....your gayness is showing." Jared groans.

"Hello!" Jensen rolls his eyes. "I have a little sister! You can't say that Megan didn't force you to watch Disney movies by the hundreds."

"Um....no?" Jared winces, realizing that, although growing up together, he and his siblings really weren't together much.

"You hear that Lily?" Jensen rubs his stomach. "Your Pa just volunteered to read you every bedtime story and watch every cartoon with you for your entire life."

"I like cartoons." Jared grinned, enjoying the playfulness Jensen is showing.

"Girly, love story cartoons?" Jeff interrupts as he checks Jensen's blood pressure.

"Um....I was thinking Spongebob and Ice Age?" Jared offers. "Those are good cartoons!"

"Trust me....she'll pick the girliest, lovey-dovey ones." Jensen grins. "You'll soon learn every dialogue to them all. Heck, I had to re-enact Cinderella for Mac when our vcr broke."

"You're a devoted big brother." Jeff looks impressed.  
"So, how does big brother feel?"

"Like I was hit by a Semi truck?" Jensen winces.

"Understandable. Any pains in your stomach or lower regions?"

"No." Jensen sobers. "Is Lily really okay?"  
"Yeah, all safe and sound, Daddy." Jeff ruffles his hair playfully. "There's a couple of officers outside. The police want to talk to you as soon as you're up to it. Chris gave a description of the guy, and Jared told them who he assumes it was, but they'd like the whole story from you."

Jensen reaches out and grabs Jared's hand. "You'll stay with me?"

"Always. They'll have to arrest me to get me outta here, and even then they'll have to drag me outta here." Jared vows, meaning every word. No one was going to come between them again.

 

"Alright, I'm ready then." Jensen nodded trying to suppress a yawn.

"I'll let them know." Jeff nods he writes on the clipboard hanging above Jensen's bed. "Keep it calm." He shoots a warning glance at Jared. "No stress."

"Sure thing, Doc." Jared promises as he lets down the side rail to the bed so he can sit on the edge beside Jensen. Jensen smiles at this, moving over so he has more room just so he can lay his head on Jared's thigh. Jared is playing with his hair when the two officers enter the room.

"Mr. Ackles-Padalecki?" The shorter one steps  
forward.

"Padalecki." Jensen corrects. "Just Padalecki. I took my husbands name."

"Oh, yes sir. I'm Officer Galecki."

"No wonder you could pronounce our last name." Jared grins, holding out his hand in greeting. "I'm Jared. Jensen's husband."

"Do you mind if we have a private word with your husband, Sir?" The officer asks Jared politely.

"I do." Jensen interrupts. "Jared's staying with me or I don't talk."

"Okay." Officer Galecki nodded, motioning for his partner to come in. "This is my partner Officer Quinn."  
Jared offered his hand to the lanky man who seemed to size him up as he shook his hand.

Pulling up a hard backed chair, Officer Galecki takes out a note-pad. "Mr. Padalecki, do you know the man who attacked you?"

"Yes." Jensen glances up at Jared as he pauses. "My father, Chuck Ackles."

"Your father!" Officer Quinn pipes up, his voice tinged with a thick Irish lilt, he frowns down at Jensen from where he was still standing. Jared glares him down, ready to kick the man out of the room.

"Yes. My father." Jensen answers weakly, his eyes downcast as he starts to pick at the stiff hospital blanket.

"Can you start at the beginning?" Officer Galecki shoots his partner a glance, but his face remains open and friendly. Jared wonders if they're attempting to play some sort of Good Cop/Bad Cop. He doesn't like this idea, from what he knew, cops played that when dealing with a suspect or someone they know is lying.

"I was home alone. Jared had been at work for a couple of hours when the doorbell rang. I didn't think about not answering it. Neighbors are always stopping in. I think Jared hires them to keep tabs on me." Jensen attempts a joke, but it falls flat.

Jared nudges him with his arm. "Nah, they just love you."

"Anyway...." Jensen leans against Jared heavily. "I opened the door to find Chuck......I tried to shut the door, but he's stronger than me. He pushed the door open........"

"This Chuck...he's your father? Why would you shut the door on him?" Officer Quinn asked, no longer sounding antagonistic, just merely curious.

"We don't have a......normal relationship."Jensen winced before continuing with a heavy sigh. "He's been abusive my entire life. I don't want my daughter subjected to him. I haven't seen him in months and I liked that. I never told him where we lived nor that I'd gotten married." 

"Had you ever reported the abuse?" Officer Galecki questioned, but by the look on his face, Jared could tell that he knew the answer to that.

"No." Jensen shook his head. "I just wanted to be free of him. I thought getting away from him would be enough."

"So...he forced his way inside?"

"He hit me. Started demanding money. When I refused...he started throwing things around the living room, calling me names. I tried to get away from him, called Jared, but he got the phone away from me. He hit me with something....I don't know what, but I fell down. He jumped on me and started ripping at my clothes, telling me what he was going to do to me....." Jared felt Jensen trembling. He played with the hair on the nape of Jensen's neck in an attempt to soothe him. 

"I was afraid for the baby.....he was hitting me......all I could do was try to protect Lily." Jensen wrapped his arms around his stomach, a subconscious mimicry of what he had done. "Then....Chris came in.....I don't remember anything after that until Jared and Doctor Jeff was there."

"Christian Kane says you called him?" Officer Galecki asked Jared as he flipped through his notes.

"I was at work, across town. I knew I wouldn't get there in time to help Jen......Chris lives right behind us. I called him." Jared nodded, still playing with Jensen's hair.

"What happened when Chris got there?" Jensen asked. "I don't remember."Looking concerned, he looked to Jared.

"Chris pulled him off of you. Fought him off. He was standing above you when I got there. Nearly took my head off with his bat when I came barging in." Jared chuckled. "Chuck got a couple of good shots to Chris. He's got a broken nose, some cuts and bruises but he's okay. Knowing Chris.....Chuck got the worst end of it."

"Have they found him?" Jensen questioned, his entire body quaking. 

"No, but we will." Officer Quinn spoke up. "Any idea of where he'd go?"

"He's a gambler. I'd try the gambling circuit." Jared offered as Jensen chewed nervously on his thumbnail. 

"What about Mac?" He questioned. "If he's desperate...he might go to her!"

"I thought of that. I've got someone keeping an eye on her."  
"What?" Jensen frowned. "What's that mean?"

"Security Detail." Jared shrugged. "Until Chuck is brought in, I've hired bodyguards."

"That's a good idea." Officer Galecki nodded, rising. "I'd like the information for the firm you've hired. If we coordinate this, we can bring him in quickly."

"He'll......g-go t-to jail?" Jensen asked hopefully.  
"With the evidence, witness statements and your statement....he should be convicted and put away. Just to be on the safe side, I'd suggest getting a restraining order."

"You'll keep us updated?" Jared tried to make it sound like a request, but it was really a demand. The officer understood this and smiled.

"Of course. We'll be getting in touch with you later."


	9. Chapter 9

Jensen stayed in the hospital for another three days. Jeff was cautious and wanted to keep him longer but Jensen was demanding to go home. Jared had continued to stay at the hospital with Jensen, even with Jensen's protests. He was exhausted, but determined to remain by Jensen through everything.

"I'm putting you on complete bed rest." Jeff informed him the morning of his release. "No getting up for anything! Don't be pulling the shit that Steve's been doing. I want you in bed, all the time."

"What about peeing?" Jared asked. "Do I need to get him one of those hospital bottle-thingy's?"

"No, but he'll need to be taken to the bathroom. No unnecessary trips."

"Showers?" Jensen winced, thinking of having to be carried to the bathroom.

"No." Was Jeff's simple response. "Lily was put under a lot of duress.....as were you. I want you both healthy and maybe we can make it all the way to your due date."

"What about Steve?" Jensen switched subjects quickly.

"I've moved his up. He'll be having the operation on the eleventh."

"I can't be there for him?" Jensen looked heartbroken at the thought.

"No." Jeff sighed. "Jensen........I'm serious. No undue stress. No getting up. No horsing around. I don't want to take Lily early. I don't want to chance losing you or Lily. Sit, relax. Watch tv. Read books. No sex, of any kind. No unneeded movement at all. I don't even want you laughing hard."

"I'm gonna get calluses on my ass!" Jensen complained, but Jared could tell that he was taking Jeff seriously.

Jared did his best to make Jensen comfortable and entertained. He cut his hours down to where he only worked in the office three days a week and on those days, he made sure to have a constant stream of visitors there to entertain Jensen. Jensen was still miserable and he let it be known to Jared daily. Loudly and repeatedly.

"Jen, there's nothing I can do to make you happy, is there?" Jared finally asked in exasperation.

"I'm being an awful bitch....aren't I?" Jensen winced.

"Kinda?" Jared ran a distracted hand through his hair. "But....it's understandable....I mean...you're pregnant and stuck in the bed all day. Relying on me for your entertainment...and I haven't been helping you all that much."

"Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" Jensen groaned. "Because....it's really not."

"Sorry....I'm just trying to tell you that I understand." Jared sat down heavily on the bed, looking apologetic when he realized that he'd jostled Jensen.

"You're overly stressed." Jensen surmised. "I'm causing a strain on you."

"Yeah...no. No, Jensen, it's not you." Jared hurried to correct him. "I'm...just...."

"Trying to keep your bitchy husband happy. Trying to ensure that your baby is born healthy. Trying to work full time when I'm causing you not to be at work enough." Jensen told him sadly.

"Okay....so there's a lot of things pulling me different directions, but I'm fine." Jared assured him.

"Maybe...." Jensen chewed on his bottom lip.... "Maybe Jeff should put me into the hospital? I'd have round the clock care, and you wouldn't have to worry about me. You could focus on your job?"

"You really think that would stop me from worrying about you?" Jared laughed. "I'd be a nutcase before the first night is up. Besides, I thought we agreed that you sleep better when I'm with you?"

"Yeah...but I don't want to be a widower before my first anniversary." Jensen grinned, making Jared's heart swell. Perhaps he was winning his husband over, after all.

 

********************************************

 

Waylon and Johnnie Kane were born on November 11th. Their father, Steve came out of the birthing operation with no problems, at least, up until their birth certificates were signed when Chris began insisting that one of them be named Cash. Steve refused to have a son named Cash Kane. They argued about it constantly, but in the end, since he'd been the one to go through the misery of the pregnancy, Steve won out.

On their way home from the hospital, the new family stopped in to see Jensen. Propped up on pillows on the sofa, Jensen held little Johnnie with tears in his eyes. "They're so amazing, Jared." Jensen whispered as Jared sat beside him holding Waylon.

"They won't be so amazing sixteen years from now when these little miniature Chris' are sniffing after our daughter." Jared answered dryly.

"Lily won't be dating at sixteen." Jensen frowned. "And certainly won't be dating a Kane!"

"Hey!" Chris squeaked, looking offended. Steve simply grinned tiredly. "She won't find anything better than a Kane. Did you see their eyes? They've both got Steve's blue eyes!"

"You've both got blue eyes, how do you know who's eyes they have?" Jared questioned, studying the baby in his arms. "I mean...right now they look kinda like Howler Monkeys."

"Give me my son back!" Chris scooped Waylon from his arms. "You did not just call my son a Monkey!"

Jared winked at Chris before looking pointedly at Jensen who was now grinning ear to ear. "You know, now that you mention it, I think their monkey-ish-ness comes from you. You do seem to look like one also."

"Well this Monkey family is going home!" Chris huffed, putting Waylon in his carrier before retrieving Johnnie from Jensen.

"Don't worry about the operation, Jensen." Steve advised as he allowed Chris to help him to his feet. "It's not that bad. Stitches itch like crazy though." Jared scooped up one of the baby carriers and walked with Chris out the door to let Steve and Jensen talk a bit in private. 

"He still having a rough time?" Chris questioned as he buckled his son into the backseat.

"He's miserable and I can't take any more days off to stay with him. Mac is coming to stay a for a week at Thanksgiving, but Jeff is questioning whether he'll make it that long. He's been having pains...just twinges here and there."

"Doesn't look like either of you have been sleeping." Chris pointed out as he accepted the other baby from Jared and started to buckle that carrier in.

"He's uncomfortable all the time. He doesn't sleep...so I don't sleep."

"He's gonna have a rougher time than Steve did." Chris sighed. "We've all known that from the start. After the thing with his dad....."

"I nearly lost him and Lily." Jared stared down the street, not wanting Chris to see the fear in his eyes. "I still don't know how to thank you for saving them."

"You don't have to thank me. We're friends. I'd do anything for you and Jensen. I just wish I could have killed him. They still haven't found him?"

"No. He left town." Jared sighed. "So Jen will constantly be looking over his shoulder for him. I wish you would have killed him too....but I'm glad you didn't. I'm sorry I asked that of you." 

"When I saw him......hurting Jensen...I felt this rage......how could someone do that?" Chris patted his pockets, as if looking for something. "Shit....Steve made me throw out my cigs."

Jared chuckled. "He caught ya smoking again?"

"He knew the whole time. Says he was just giving me the chance to quit on my own. Said it was either the cigs or me that were going in the trash." Chris turned as if sensing Steve just as Steve exited the house.

Jared shook his head, watching Steve slowly make his way slowly down the walk. "Let's go home." Steve said tiredly. 

 

*********************************************

 

"I'm here to see Jensen Ackles." The scruffy older man informed Jared as soon as he opened the door. He looked like the type of guy who always wore a hat but had attempted to look presentable by removing his hat and combing his hair flat. To Jared, it looked comical but he wasn't about to let his guard down.

"What's this about?" He demanded, not willing to let this man upset Jensen needlessly. The man was craning around Jared and spotted Jensen.

"Jensen! Son! We thought we'd never see you again!" Taken by surprise, Jared didn't move fast enough to prevent the man from pushing his way into the house. The man hurried over to where Jensen was ensconced on the couch. "You're a sight for sore eyes!"

"Who are you?" Jensen questioned, looking up at the strange barrel-chested old man to Jared and back. He didn't look frightened, just confused. Just to be safe, Jared moved closer to the stranger, ready to pounce if he made a false move.

"I'm your Uncle Jim! Dontcha remember me?" The man gasped.

"I.....I don't th-think I have an Uncle....Jim." Jensen was beginning to looked nervous. Jared took a step around the shorter man, putting himself between the two. His fists clenched into fists threateningly.

"Well....I know I'm only a step-uncle but.....my lord..you look like your father!"

"No." Jensen shook his head. "I don't look anything like Chuck."

"Chuck?! That Bastard ain't your dad! Your dad was my brother...well, step-brother, Alan." The man insisted, peering around Jared to look at Jensen.

"Alan?" Jensen frowned. "I think you've gotten me confused with someone else, sir."

"You really don't remember?" The man seemed to deflate as he studied Jensen's confused expression. "I know you were just a little tyke when you disappeared....but you don't remember your Dad.....Alan...at all? Where's your mother? She'd better have a good explanation for this!"

"I don't know, Sir." Jensen shrugged. "She left when I was nine."

"Left? What do you mean....left?" Jim demanded, his face turning red, causing Jensen's eyes to go wide. Jared clenched his fists, preparing to escort the man out of the house forcefully.

"It was bad enough that she took off with you and left your brother behind with me....but to leave you alone with that-"

"Brother?" Jensen interrupted with a frown, beginning to look upset. Jared placed a comforting hand on his arm in an attempt to soothe him.

"Your big brother, Cooper." Jim sounded shocked that Jensen didn't already know this. "He was twelve when your Dad died and Lena took off with you." Jim grimaced. "Tore the poor kid apart. His whole family ripped from him in a matter of days."

"Cooper?" Jensen seemed to be playing with the sound of the name. 

"So...."Jared finally spoke up. "You're saying Jensen's real dad....who isn't Chuck....died and his Mom took him but left his brother behind? To be with that asshole Chuck? But then....she takes off again, leaving Jen and Mac with Chuck?"

"Mac?" Jim repeated. "Who's Mac?"

"My sister, Mackenzie." Jensen nudged Jared, pointing at the photo of Jensen with Mac that sat on the mantle. Jared fetched the photo, handing it to the strange man. He looked as confused as Jared and Jensen were.

"She looks like Cooper." He gasped, looking excited. "How old is she? Lena must have been pregnant when Alan died."

"Mac turned eighteen in June." Jared answered when he realized that Jensen was too emotionally confused to reply.

"And Lena....left both kids with Chuck?" Jim was staring at the photo, running his finger over the glass, looking awed.

"So...you're saying....we're not really Ackles?" Jensen questioned, jerking the man out of his photo-trance.

"Yes, you are....Chuck's not....not blood Ackles. He was adopted by Alan's father after Herb married his mother. Alan's mother remarried...to my Dad. Alan and I were raised together by his Mom."

"This is confusing." Jensen murmured, rubbing his temple. "It's really hard to believe."

"If we hadn't seen your wedding announcement in the paper......"Jim muttered...drifting off into his thoughts. "Coop is going to flip. We didn't tell him about the possibility of it really being you....I'll have to ease it to him about you being....married to a guy..."

"Do you have any proof of any of this?" Jared questioned, not wanting the man's muttering to upset Jensen. Plus, he wanted proof before he allowed Jensen to get his hopes up falsely.

"Not on me...." Jim shook himself back into the conversation. "I've got pictures and copies of the missing person reports from when you disappeared. I can bring them back."

"That'd be a start." Jared agreed. "Maybe some blood tests to be sure." The lawyer in him rose to the task, thinking of all the proof they would need to acquire. He mentally searched for a name of a private investigator to do the research.

"Blood test?" Jensen questions. "Why so drastic? It's not like he has anything to gain by any of this..right?"

"Jensen..." Jared sighed. "You just married into a very rich family. People are always finding ways into Padalecki pockets. You can't be too careful. He just admitted he saw your picture in our wedding announcement."

Jensen studied Jared thoughtfully for a long moment. "So....now I have to worry about people using me to get to you?"

"No." Jared threaded his fingers through Jensen's hair, reveling at it's softness. Jensen leaned into his touch. "That's my job. Let me worry about things like that. I'm used to it. You have enough to worry about as it is."

"Perhaps Jensen would like to come meet the family for Thanksgiving?" Jim spoke up loudly, as if reminding them that he was still there.

"Jensen can't travel right now." Jared disagreed, forcing his gaze from Jensen's pale face to the strangers ruddy one. "Besides, we're not going to do anything hasty until we find out what is what."

"Oh?" Jim questioned, looking instantly concerned. "Is he ill? His family comes from healthy stock. I can't remember the last time Coop was si-"

"Healthy stock!" Jensen chuckled derisively. "Again, I'm livestock, aren't I?"

"Not to me." Jared shushed him with a kiss to the temple before explaining to the older man. "Jensen's on bed rest for the next month. But, he's not ill."

"Oh?" Jim cocked his head to the side, looking totally confused. 

"I'm pregnant." Jensen stated bluntly, throwing the thick fuzzy blanket off so his enlarged stomach was visible. "I'm a brood mare, dontcha know?"

The man's mouth fell open and he turned a sickening shade of yellowish-gray before his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Jared jumped forward, trying to grasp the falling man as he fainted. He wasn't able to catch him, but he at least prevented him from crashing into the coffee table. With some struggle, for the stocky man was heavy, he got him onto the love seat across from Jensen.

"Should we call 911?" Jensen cried out nervously.

"Nah, he just fainted. " Jared moved back to sit on the arm of the couch next to Jensen. "He should be okay in a bit."

"You think he's telling the truth?" Jensen reached for Jared's hand, clasping it tightly with his long fingers. "Maybe Chuck isn't my father?"

"His story is so outlandish that it could be true." Jared shrugged, watching to make sure the unconscious man was breathing. "If he's telling the truth...you've got a brother.....and a family."

Jensen lay his head on Jared's thigh tiredly. "Yeah. But....it didn't sound like this brother holds much to gay people."

"This has been a lot for you to deal with." Jared played with Jensen's hair gently, feeling Jensen relax against him more. "Want me to take you to bed?"

"What about him?" Jensen raised his head so he could look at his could-be uncle.

"He is breathing." Jared shrugged. "I'll tuck you in then see if I can rouse him."

"I'd like to see the pictures." Jensen murmured as Jared scooped him up into his arms to carry him to bed. "The ones he said he had...."

"We'll have it all looked into. Confirmed before we go into that. Just.....don't get your hopes up just yet, 'kay Babe?" Jared hugged him to him as he walked towards the bedroom.

"Yeah." Jensen agreed sleepily. "Okay."

 

*********************************

 

As soon as Jared escorted his strange guest out the door, he made a call to a private investigator that he knew. Aldis Hodge was the best in the business from what Jared knew. 

Feeling that they would soon have all the answers to these new questions, he slid into bed beside Jensen, careful not to jostle him. Jensen immediately turned, curling up against him and laying his head on Jared's chest.

"I'm so fucking messed up, it's not even funny."Jensen murmured.

"You're not messed up, your life is, but not you." Jared pulled him closer, wishing he could comfort him.

"My life is messed up.....making me messed up....which in turn....messes you up." Jensen shifted, bringing his right hand up to rest over Jared's heart. "I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be." Jared placed his free left hand on top of Jensen's, holding it there. "I signed up for this willingly."

"Do you ever wish.....that I'd made it to the bus on time? Before Chuck found out about us....before you found out about us?"

"No, Jensen. Not for one damned second." Jared sighed. "It's the one good thing that Chuck ever did. I know you don't believe this or want to believe this...whatever....but I love you. I'm perfectly happy right here, right now."

"But....what if you're wrong? What if you don't really love me? What if I can't love you like you want me to. What if we're stuck like this forever?"

"I'm happy as we are. And....for the record, I'm not wrong. I really do love you and I believe you'll love me too....someday. We're not stuck like this...our lives are changing....everyday. In a short time from now...we're gonna be fathers. We're gonna have Lily....a beautiful little mix of you and me."

"How do you know she'll be beautiful? What if she gets our ugly parts?"

"What ugly parts? You're beautiful....not a single ugly part on ya. And hell....I'm hot! You tell me  
one thing on me that's ugly!"

"Your ego." Jensen giggled that little tired giggle that made Jareds' insides turn to mush.

"Confidence is not ugly. Someday...you're gonna have confidence in yourself and you'll see you the way I see you. When you do....we won't be having conversations like these." Jared promised.

"Then what will we talk about?"

"Doesn't matter. Probably little stuff. What Lily did or said that day. Maybe we'll just talk about how awesome we are. The trouble those Kane twins have caused. That type of thing."

"You think they'll be troublesome?" Jensen questioned. "They're only a few days old! How can you tell?"

"Because they're little Mini-Chris' they'll be holy terrors. Mark my words!"

"What if they're more like Steve?" Jensen countered with a yawn.

"Nope...they'll be like Chris." Jared yawned back.

"What do you think about this guy.....my  
uncle?" Jensen questioned, the levity disappearing from his voice as he spoke.

"I don't know. I called a investigator. If I know Aldis as well as I think I do....he's already researching the case. He'll let us know as soon as he has anything concrete."

"I'm trying not to get my hopes up....but I sure would like to know that Chuck isn't really my father." Jensen sighed. "But...then it'll make me hate my mother even more, won't it? To know that she took me from my real family and then abandoned us with that.....monster."

"Whatever Aldis finds, we'll know the truth soon enough. If he finds that this is just a trick....we can hire him to look into your family.......see if he can locate someone."  
"I'd like that....if they're not anything like Chuck." Jensen agreed sleepily.

"Go to sleep, Sweetheart." Jared ordered gently, feeling Jensen relaxing into sleep against him. He watched Jensen drift off into sleep, hoping this new development would lead to something good. Jensen needed something to go right in his life.

 

"Jared? Jared!" Jensen's incessant voice and cold clammy hands pulled Jared from his slumber. 

"Jen?" He forced his heavy eyes to open to find Jensen a ghastly gray color. "What's the matter?"

"I'm.....hurting." Jensen moaned, his voice shaky. "I...I'm sc-scared Jared."

"Oh God!" Thrusting himself out of bed, he grabbled for his phone, hitting the speed dial to Jeff's emergency number.

"Jared?" Jeff's voice was a welcome sound in his ear.  
"Jeff! It's Jensen.....he's......pain...."the words were flowing through his head but weren't able to form in his mouth as he watched his husband writhing on the bed, in pain.

"I've got an ambulance on the way. Jared, You need to calm down so you can keep him calm."

Jared scooped up his husband and carried him to the door, meeting the paramedics as they came up the front steps. The next few moments were a blur as he and Jensen were loaded into the ambulance. Jared stayed at Jensen's side, whispering attempts to calm him. "Relax Jen. Jeff said he wouldn't let anything happen to you or Lily."

"If.....if....I die......"

"You're not gonna die, Jen." Jared cut him off before he could extract a promise from him. "You owe me the chance to make you love me."

"Ja-jared." Jensen cried out as his eyes rolled back into his head. The hand that had been clutching at Jared dropped like a dead weight.

"Jensen!" Jared screamed, suddenly shoved aside by the medics frantically working on Jensen. When they pulled into the hospital, Jared was pulled away from Jensen. "No! That's my husband! I need to be in there!"

It took two big, burly orderlies to hold Jared back as he attempted to follow the gurney. Jared struggled against them, determined that he wasn't going to be separated from his husband.

"Sir?" A nurse stood before him. "You're not helping your husband. The doctor will allow you in if you're calm and if it's okay for you to be in there. If you can't calm down, we'll have you removed from the property."

"That's my husband! I'm supposed to be in there with him! I......I....didn't get to tell him that I loved him." Jared dropped to his knees, nearly taking the orderlies with him. "I can't lose him."

"Doctor Morgan is the best there is." The nurse informed him loyally. "Is there someone you'd like me to call? Someone who can come be with you?"

"Yeah....I'll....call......someone." Jared tried to think of who to call. There was a weird sound in his ears, almost as if he was suddenly hearing everything through murky water. Sounds blurred together as his vision went just as blurred. For the first time in his life, he felt the urge to pray.

"Jared!" Chris' voice pulled him out of his stupor. Jared looked up to see Chris and Steve rushing through the emergency room doors towards him, each lugging a carrier and a diaper bag with them. They were still dressed in pajamas, long hair uncombed as they hurried over to him. "Steve saw the lights from the ambulance! Why didn't you call us?"

"I......didn't think...there wasn't time." Jared looked up gratefully at his friends as they came to stand beside him. "They won't let me in there with him."

"Jeff'll let ya as soon as he can." Steve promised as Chris took Jared by the arm and pulled him to his feet. The orderlies stood close, as if ready to pounce Jared if he made another move towards the direction Jensen had been taken. "Don't worry guys, I've got'em. He won't cause anymore trouble." Chris vowed to the men.

"I promised Jen that I'd be there with him." Jared sniffled allowing Chris to guide him over to some chairs in the waiting room. There were only a few people in the room, but none of them seemed to pay any attention to the three men with the newborns as they settled in a group of chairs. "I need to be in there." 

 

**************************

 

"Jared." Jeff's voice broke through the stupor he was in. 

"Jeff!" Jared jumped to his feet, nearly knocking over Tom who was standing beside him. It hadn't taken long before all of his friends and family had gathered at the hospital to wait with him. All it had taken was one call from Chris to Mike and the word had spread. Now the little waiting room was overfilled with concerned family and friends.

"We've gotten Jensen stable and we're fixing to begin the operation. He's asking to see you before he's sedated. He's drugged, due to the pain, but he's still lucid." Jeff explained quickly, knowing that he didn't need to explain any further. He'd already explained that a man giving birth would want to push, the natural reaction to going into labor. For a woman, that would be the best thing, but for a man, since there wasn't a birthing canal and virtually nowhere for the baby to be pushed to, it was dangerous. So, in all truthfulness, Jensen was being drugged into being paralyzed, to protect himself and the baby.

"Oh God!" Jared fought the tears and emotions that threatened to overtake him as he quickly followed Jeff towards Jensen. There were two nurses waiting with a set of scrubs for him. The pushed and prodded him, getting him changed and scrubbed down before allowing him into the operating room. 

His step faltered as he spotted Jensen. He was hooked up to what seemed like a million machines. Hurrying over to Jensen, he tried to take his hand, but found it bound up with wires and tubes. "Jen?" He questioned worriedly. Jensen looked like he was asleep, or dead. His face was pale, eyes sunken in at the sockets. His eyes opened slowly, revealing unnaturally bright green eyes. 

"hi." Jensen slurred.

"Hey Sweetie." Jared wanted to sob, but wouldn't let himself. 

"Don't feel so well." Jensen tried to smirk but it looked more like a grimace. "Promise me?"

"No, Jensen." Jared shook his head, knowing what Jensen was asking without being told. "I'm not making the choice between you and Lily." Jensen's eyes closed, when they reopened, he looked like he accepted the answer. 

"You'll take care of her? Let her know I loved her? Tell her I didn't regret my choice to have her." Jensen's eyes filled with tears. "I wish I could see her...just once. I hope she has your smile."

Jared blinked back the tears that threatened. He tried to speak, but found it hard with the painful knot in his throat. Clearing his throat, he whispered. "You will. You'll see her and hold her. You'll get to tell her all this on your own."

"I......I wish I had your faith." Jensen's mouth twitched, as if he was trying to smile. "Just....tell her all that for me.....please?"

"If it comes down to it, I will." Jared nodded, knowing that Jensen needed that to ease the worry on his mind. "But, you'll be fine. You'll wake up in a little while and I'll be right here, holding our daughter for you to see. She'll have your eyes and your smile, because you have the most beautiful smile, Jen." Jared leaned over and planted a gentle, chaste kiss on his lips. "And I'll spend the rest of my life getting you both to smile at me."

"Boys, it's time." Jeff was suddenly standing there, dressed from head to toe in surgical gear. The only part of him showing was his eyes, nearly hidden behind thick goggles. Jared noticed another man, dressed the same as Jeff, inject something into a tube leading to Jensen. 

"I love you Sweetheart." Jared vowed as Jensen's eyes slammed shut. Jensen didn't move, didn't respond as he was pulled into a deep drug-induced slumber. 

"Move over here, sir." A woman's voice behind him ordered, as Jared was prodded to stand at Jensen's head. Everyone around him was dressed in surgical gear which made them look like they were cloaked ninjas.

"Here goes it. Jared, you're fixing to meet your daughter." Jeff moved up to Jensen. Two bodies came forward, pulling up a framed sheet that shielded what Jeff was doing from Jared's sight, no matter how much he strained to see. Another put an oxygen mask over Jensen's mouth.

Suddenly the room went silent. There was a weird burning smell in the air that Jared suddenly realized was the smell of Jensen's burning flesh. Jeff was using a laser to make the incision. The only noise was the various beeps and noises from the machines surrounding him. Jared could pick out the sounds of Jensen's heartbeat and another machine with Lily's heartbeat.

"Suction." Jeff barked. Jared heard the sickening noise of Jensen's blood being vacuumed out of him so Jeff could see inside of him. A new whine from a machine across from Jeff started up. 

"He needs blood." Jeff glanced at the machine. "Start the I.V."

One of the machines to Jared's right started to pick up speed in it's beeps. A cloaked figure went to it, pushing buttons. "His heart-rate is elevated." A female voice from the concealing cloak told Jeff. "Baby's heart-rate is slowing."

"Alert Neo-Natal, she's experiencing trauma." Jeff barked again. Another cloaked figure hurried over to the phone on the wall. Jared wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He'd never felt so frightened and useless in his life. "Jared.....we're not doing so good here."

"Don't tell me that! You promised they'd be okay!" Jared yelled, not worrying about the tears that were streaming out of his eyes.

"We're trying." Jeff promised, still frantically working behind the screen. "But...we might....."

"No! Jeff! I won't lose them! Neither of them." Jared screamed as a new team of cloaked figures streamed into the operating room, pushing an enclosed clear plastic cart. Jared knew that it was for his daughter, but it still frightened him. With a shaky hand, he reached out and ran a gloved finger over the bare strip of skin on Jensen's forehead, wanting some sort of contact with Jensen.

"Here she is." Jeff announced as he pulled the baby from behind the screen. It was eerily silent in the room as he handed her over to the awaiting team. Wasn't the baby supposed to be crying? His own mother had told him that he'd come kicking and screaming into the world. 

"Jeff?" Jared whimpered. 

"Give them a moment, Jared." Jeff told him calmly as his focus went back to Jensen. Jared was torn between wanting to find out about his daughter who was being wheeled out of the room and his husband.

One of the beeping machines stopped beeping, replaced by a shrill ringing sound. "Jeff! He's flat-lined! We're losing him!" The cloaked woman beside the ringing machine cried out.

"Damn it!" Jeff cursed. "Where's this blood coming from? He's hemorrhaging!"

"NO!" Jared screamed as a flurry of activity swirled around him. Suddenly he was being dragged out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him. "JENSEN!" Jared grabbed the handle, determined to go back in, only to find it locked. He shook the door, pounded on it but the frantic people inside paid him no mind.

"JENSEN! NO!!!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, sorry.....had to leave the chapter at that....


	10. Chapter 10

"Son?" Henry Padalecki squatted beside Jared, who was sitting on the floor in the hallway where an Orderly had drug him after finding him pounding on the operating room door. Jared rolled away from his father to retch on the floor. "Jared." Henry sighed. "What happened?"

"I....I.....I don't know." Jared whimpered. "Lily wasn't crying and they took her out of the room. Then Jensen flat-lined. Jeff started yelling about blood and hemorrhaging and they threw me out of the room." Jared allowed his father to pull him into his embrace. He lay his head on his father's chest as his father rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. He couldn't remember his father ever doing such a thing since the day his mother had died. 

Feeling the strength and comfort in his father's arms, he allowed himself to cry. "I don't know what's happening. I don't know whether they're alive or dead! Dad.....I can't lose them! I just found him.....I can't lose him now!"

"I can't make you any promises, Son." Henry sighed as he began to rock Jared, whose huge frame didn't fit in his arms and stretched out across the hallway instead. "It's all up to.....God and Fate."

"Then this shouldn't be happening.....if it's up to God. All my life I've been told how good God is. Jensen hasn't done a single thing wrong and he's been punished his entire life! He doesn't deserve this!"

"No...not according to us." Henry shrugged. "I don't claim to be a religious man, but.....sometimes we don't have all the information. Maybe he's not the one that's being punished by this."

"Meaning what?" Jared demanded. "Meaning....if he dies....I'm the one being punished? That Jensen is just an innocent bystander being punished for my sins?! That's fucked up!"

"Jared." Jeff's voice cuts him. Jared looks up to see the doctor, still in his operating scrubs, covered in Jensen's blood. The goggles are gone and the mask is hanging around his neck, displaying the morose look on the doctor's tired face. Just seeing Jeff's face caused Jared to break down into more uncontrollable sobs.

 

**********************************

 

Jared sat and held his daughter. Today was the day she'd been due to be born, yet she was ten days old. He glanced up at his husband in the bed. "I told you she was going to be beautiful like you. She's got your eyes. Meg insists that the shape of them are more slanted, like mine, but she's got those green eyes of yours." He studies the sleeping infant a little more. "Maybe the shape of my face......my forehead, but the rest is all you. Your nose. Your mouth. Right down to how your right ear looks a little pointier than your left. But that's okay.....she'll be able to hide that with her hair...when she gets some."

He glances back up at his sleeping husband. He sighs, seeing that Jensen hasn't moved while he was looking at their daughter. Swallowing roughly he forces a smile. "Damn it, Jensen. Wake the hell up! It's been ten days! Cut out the shit and wake up! Lily's getting released in a couple of days and you haven't even seen her yet! You're missing out on the critical bonding stage of her development!" He rises gracefully so not to jostle his daughter and places her in the crook of Jensen's arm. "Mackenzie's staying with us for a while....until the new term starts up again. But...when she's gone, what am I supposed to do with Lily? We were supposed to be doing this together! You were the prepared one. You read the books, not me! I don't even know how to work the car seat for God's Sake! What am I supposed to do with her when I'm working? You didn't want her raised by nannies! If you don't wake up...that's what I'm going to have to do. Hand her over to a stranger to raise while I'm a work and you're sleeping. Chad's got a friend that needs a job......Sophia...I think is her name. He's kinda sweet on her, but she's got references and all that........" Jared paces the length of the room and circles around to the other side of the bed to stare at the machinery hooked up to his husband. "They're making noises about moving you to a long-term care. In other words...they want to put you in a home. Lock you up in a damn hospital to die! Jensen! You can't do this to me! You said....."

"Jared?" A gruff voice cut into his rant. Turning, he found Jim Beaver standing there, looking more like a trucker than the last time he'd seen him. Holding his hat in his hands, he stood in the doorway and stared at Jensen, swallowing roughly.

"Jim." Jared greeted him. "Jensen, your uncle is here to see you." Jared told the unconscious man. As promised, Aldis had came through just days after Lily's birth. Jim's story had been true. Jared had the documents to prove it, but found no joy in the information as long as Jensen wasn't awake to know it.

"Any......change?" Jim questioned, stepping closer, his eyes watery with unshed tears. It had been a rough call that Jared had to make, to call Jim and tell him that although he had finally found his nephew, it was only to the possibility of losing him again.

"No." Jared shrugged before adding defensively. "I'm not giving up on him yet!"

"He's an Ackles." Jim nodded. "He can beat this." His eyes stopped on the tiny bundle of pink laying against Jensen. "Is that.....?"

"Lily." Jared nodded. "I wanted her to....know him....they're supposed to be bonding.....but they just sleep."

"Lily." Jim breathes out the name reverently. "Can....I see her?"

Jared nods absently, glancing at his watch. It's nearly time to turn Jensen. Jared insists on doing it, so the nurses only come in to observe his ministrations. Jensen hates to be touched by strangers, so Jared insists on doing all that he possibly can. Which means turning him so he doesn't get bed sores, shaving him and bathing him. He eyes the older man as he nervously scoops the baby up into his arms. "She looks like an Ackles." Jim murmurs.

"Yeah." Jared nods. "She's got his eyes too." he huffs out a breath as the man settles in the chair, his full attention on the baby.

"What's her full name?" Jim glances up at Jared as he asks this."

"Lily Ann Padalecki." Jared answers. "Jensen picked out the name."

"Not Ackles?" Jim frowns.

"Jensen took my name when we married......didn't want Lily to be given the name either." Jared goes over to Jensen and adjusts the already smooth covers. "This was before we knew.....the whole story. He didn't want Ackles.....because of...his fa-.....er.....because of Chuck."

"Can you tell me?" Jim questions meekly. "About his life with Chuck?"

"No." Jared shakes his head. "It's not my story to tell. Jensen will decide when and if he'll tell you about it."

"But what if-" Jim lets it hang there, glancing nervously from Jared to Jensen and back again.

"He'll decide when he wakes up. He's going to wake up any moment now." Jared insists.

"Jared." Jeff's voice cuts in. "The nurses are looking for Lily again. You've got to stop doing this." 

"She needs to be with her Daddy." Jared snaps. 

"Jared...." Jeff sighs heavily as he comes in and checks the machinery at Jensens' bedside. "You're not doing anyone any good by doing this. You can't force him to wake up. You need to go home, prepare for your daughter coming home. Get back to your real life. Sleep in a real bed instead of that chair or squeezing onto the bed with Jensen until the nurses find you and kick you out."

"Jensen doesn't sleep well without me." Jared defends himself. 

"Jared." Jeff sighs tiredly. "Jensen isn't sleeping. He's in a coma. He lost so much blood....I'm sorry son....but it's likely he won't wake up....ever."

"He will." Jared snarled. "You and everyone else can stop telling me to give up on him! Misha had the nerve to try to get me to go to a Parents without Partners meeting! I have a partner! He's right here and I'm staying with him until he wakes up and can come home with me."

 

**************************************

 

Three days later, as Jared was shaving Jensen, Jensen's eyes flickered open. Blinking foggily, he frowned, staring at Jared who froze, razor poised over Jensen's jaw.

"Jen?" Jared breathed, afraid he was imagining it. He'd been dreaming of this moment for so long that he was afraid he it was just another one of his hallucinations. The hand holding the razor trembled with indecision. "Jensen?"

Jensen blinked again, focusing on the shaking razor inches from his face. "Jare?" His voice was deep and raspy from disuse. "Wha-?"

"You're really awake!" Jared screamed, flinging the razor aside before jumping forward to kiss the confused man, uncaring of the shaving cream that he smeared all over them. It was just a joyous, kiss of celebration on Jared's part. Either it was shock, confusion or desire, Jensen opened his mouth, furthering the kiss. Jared's tongue suddenly had a mind of it's own, plundering Jensens' mouth. Jensen tasted stale, and mediciney but so very much like Jensen that Jared couldn't stop himself. 

"Boys. This is how you guys got into this situation." Jeff's voice was as effective as a bucket of ice water being poured on them. Jared jerked upright, guiltily wiping the shaving cream off of his face. 

Jensen blinked up at Jeff, his brow wrinkled in confusion. "Jeff?.....Jared?" His hand went to his stomach, his eyes widening as he found no baby belly. "Oh, God! Where's Lily?"

"Jared." Jeff turned angry eyes at Jared. "You just pounced him? You didn't even take the time to talk to him?"

Ignoring Jeff's reprimand, Jared moved to take Jensen's hand. "Lily's fine. She's at home with Mac."

"Home?" Jensen questioned looking bewildered.

"Sweetheart." Jared tugged on his hand to get his attention. "You've been asleep for a long time. Lily will be two weeks old tomorrow."

Jeff approached, pulling his penlight out of his pocket to shine in Jensen's eyes. "I've been sleeping that long? Jared, why didn't you wake me?"

Jared snorted, trying not to laugh at Jensen. Jensen looked even more baffled as he craned his neck up at Jared.

"Jensen." Jeff sat on the edge of the bed. "When we say that you were sleeping.....we mean that you were in a coma."

"Coma?" Jensen whimpered nervously.

"We nearly lost you Jensen." Jeff patted him on the leg. Jensen flinched at the touch, squeezing Jared's hand out nervous habit. "But Jared here, never gave up on you. Has barely left your side."

"What about Lily?" Jensen's voice is so gravelly that Jared worries that his throat is hurting.

"She's doing good." Jared nods. "She's beautiful."

"When can I see her?" Jensen asked eagerly.

"I was just fixing to go get her when I finished shaving you. I'll call Mac and have her bring her instead."

Jensen looks frightened at the idea. "Jared.....can you just go get her.....instead?"

"You don't trust your sister with our baby?" Jared feels his eyes widen comically. "Is there something you haven't told me about Mac?"

"I just want my baby." Jensen offers a timid smile.

"I'll go get Lily myself." Jared agrees. "You want me to finish shaving you first?"

"No. I just want my baby."

 

*******************************

 

"Jared.......she's perfect." Jensen murmurs as he holds his daughter, unable to keep his eyes from her. He was still weak and shaky, so Jared sat close to him with his arms wrapped around him for support.

"She's beautiful, like you." Jared whispered back, placing a kiss on Jensen's temple. For once, Jensen doesn't argue about being called beautiful and simply blushes. 

"She has your hair." Jensen giggles playing with the dark fluff of hair on the top of Lily's head. "And your dimples."

"Dimples belong on a girl." Jared moaned playfully. 

"I like your dimples. They're the first thing I noticed about you. Thought they made you look cute." Jensen shrugged, not looking away from the baby. Jared felt his jaw drop. It was the first time Jensen had mentioned anything close to being attracted to Jared.

"My dimples? That's what you noticed about me?" Jared hedged, hoping Jensen would add more to it.

"Well....after you got your heavy ass off of me. You tripped and fell on me, you know." Jensen glanced up at Jared with a playful grin.

"And....you liked my dimples."

"What are you? A broken record?" Jensen rolled his eyes as he shifted Lily into his lap so he could undress her, examining her toes. "Yes, I liked your dimples."

"Anything else?"

"You were funny...but that was mostly because you were drunk." Jensen shrugged again, wrapping Lily back up. "I'd already seen you before and thought you were really good looking."

"You had?"

"Yeah." Jensen shrugged again, playing with the tiny fingers with his own. "I'd been at the party for a long time. I'd watched you come and go. Flirting with everyone. Saw you disappear upstairs with a guy."

"I did?" Jared winced, unable to remember any of it. "Damn......I was a slut."

"Was?" Jensen frowned.

"Yeah.....monotonous an all that now."

"Really?" Jensen turned his full attention to Jared, looking shocked.

"Really." Jared frowned, feeling hurt. "You think I was sleeping around even though we're married?"

"Well.....no.....not really." Jensen had the nerve too look confused. "Maybe?"

"I haven't been with anyone but you since the night you came to stay with me." Jared snarled. "Haven't wanted anyone but you. We're fucking married for God's Sake!" Angry and hurt, Jared jerked away from Jensen, getting off the bed to pace the small room. "Jeez Jensen! I thought you knew that! I thought we........." Jared stopped himself. Running a tired hand over his face he shook himself. "When are you ever going to believe in me? In my love for you?" 

"I don't understand love." Jensen offered apologetically. "But I believe you."

"No." Jared shook his head sadly. "No, you don't." Coming over to scoop Lily out of Jensen's arms he sighed. "I need to take Lily home. We'll come spring you in the morning when Jeff releases you."

"Wait....." Jensen looked startled. "You're not staying?"

"No." Jared shook his head, hardening his heart against the sad look in his husbands eyes. He turned his back to Jensen so he could strap Lily into her car carrier. "They won't let Lily spend the night."

"But....won't you come back?" Jensen sounded like he was going to cry. "Like you did last night?" Jared had came back after taking Lily home the night before and had balanced on the edge of the bed beside Jensen to sleep like he'd done the entire time Jensen had been in his coma. The only difference was that Jensen had curled against him, holding his hand in his own the entire night.

"Not tonight." He knew it was going to be a miserable night, but he was too hurt to be with Jensen any longer. He gathered up his daughter and pointedly ignored the hurt in his husbands' eyes.

 

******************************************

 

All anger Jared felt towards Jensen evaporated the moment he saw the unabashed joy and awe in his expression as he stood staring, open mouthed at the Christmas tree in their living room. The first moment he had after Jensen had awoken, Jared had called Chad and convinced him to go find the biggest tree he could. Chad had roped in their friends to help decorate the tree and now it stood gaudily twinkling lights in the living room. Jensen turned tear filled eyes to Jared.

"Thank you Jared." He whispered, voice crackling with emotion.

"It's Lily's first Christmas. I wanted it to be special." Jared shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about it.

"You didn't do it for Lily." Jensen murmured softly, looking at Jared with something unreadable in his expression. "You remembered what I said.....and you did it for me......Thank you for remembering."

"Yeah." Jared watched a single tear stream down Jensen's cheek, wanting so badly to wipe it away with his finger, or a kiss. "I remember everything you say." Jared watched the Jensen's Adams Apple bob up and down as he swallowed roughly with emotion.

"I'm an asshole and I don't deserve you." Jensen murmurs, hugging Lily to him as if for protection from the emotions running across his face.

Jared has his own emotions warring inside him. He wants to hang onto the anger and hurt he'd felt the day before, but seeing the naked truth that Jensen is desperate for any type of consideration, he can't seem to remain angry. Besides, he slept like shit the night before and didn't want to spend another night apart from his husband. He'd gotten used to having Jensen beside him at night and without him, it was like he was missing a vital part of him. And, seeing the dark rings under Jensen's eyes, he guessed that Jensen hadn't slept well either.

Something flickered in Jensen's eyes, so quickly that Jared wasn't sure if he'd really seen it. "Come'on." Jared motioned with a wide arc of his arm. "Let's get Lily settled."

Jensen turned his attention back to the flickering lights on the giant tree. "Can we stay in here a bit longer?" He asked pitifully, eyes wide with childlike innocence. Jared's heart melted. 

"Yeah, Jen." He smiled. He sat down on the couch beside his awestruck husband, taking their daughter into his own arms while Jensen gazed at the twinkling decorations.

 

Jared let him sit there half the night until he couldn't bring himself to fight his own exhaustion any longer. "Com'on Sweetheart, time for bed." Jared offered his hand. Jensen blinked up at him sleepily. 

"What?"

"It's late, time for bed. You can look at the tree some more tomorrow." Jared offered a tired smile.

"Where's Lily?" Jensen glanced around as if suddenly realizing that she wasn't in his arms.

"Tucked in bed already, like you're fixing to be." Jared waggled his hand, trying to get Jensen to accept it once again.

"But....she needs to be fed....changed...." Jensen finally placed his hand in Jareds.

"Already done." Jared levered his husband up gingerly, careful not to jar his stitches that lined his stomach. "She's out like a light. I even bathed her."

"But.....I wanted to do it." Jensen's face crumpled like he wanted to cry. 

"You were too busy being hypnotized by the twinkling lights." Jared wrapped an arm around Jensen's waist leading him to the bedroom. "You can do it tomorrow. In fact.....I will be so kind as to allow you the honor of changing every poopy diaper she has from now on."

"Jared....I've missed so much already....." Jensen looked heartbroken. 

"You're tired. This has been a rough day. You need a good nights sleep and then you'll be more apt to be up to tending Lily in the morning." Jared advised, leading Jensen to the bathroom. "Get cleaned up and change into pjs. I'll check your bandages after."

"You're treating me like a little kid." Jensen frowned, standing in the bathroom doorway defiantly.

"No. I'm treating you like someone who just woke from a coma. Someone who just had his guts ripped open, shoved back in and sewn closed." Jared chuckled as Jensen turned a little green at his description. "Now get moving. I'm tired too. I didn't sleep worth shit last night."

"Me neither." Jensen grimaced slightly before turning to the bathroom. "I'm sorry for that."

"We'll work it out..." Jared offered hopefully as Jensen disappeared into the bathroom. A surge of hope flared in him as he noticed that Jensen left the door open as he got ready for bed. Maybe Jensen trusted him more than he thought.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

"Your Uncle Jim is on the phone." Jared informed Jensen as he brought the phone into the kitchen where Jensen was preparing their lunch.

"I'm still not used to that." Jensen glanced up from the salad he was tossing. "Me....having an uncle."

"It's real. Aldis did a through check. Everything Jim said was true. Chuck is not your dad. Most likely not Mackenzie's either." Jared held the phone up to him. "Come on, talk to him. He's family and it's nearly Christmas. He just wants to get to know his nephew that he's been hunting for all these years. Over eighteen years of searching is dedication in my book. I've talked to him a lot. So has Mackenzie. He seems like a really good guy and he loves you a lot."

Jared watched as Jensen sucked his bottom lip into his mouth to chew on, feeling a swell of desire at the sight. It'd been three weeks since Jensen had been released from the hospital and although he was healing well, Jared hadn't allowed himself to do or want anything more than a kiss here and there. He tamped down the desire to throw the phone aside and take a turn chewing on that bottom lip himself.

"Jen? Just talk to the poor guy.....it's almost Christmas....time for family."

"I have family. You, Lily and Mac." Jensen whispered, his eyes on the phone as if he really wanted to take it.

"And now you have an Uncle, an Aunt and a big brother who want to share that with you." Jared forced the phone into his hands. "Either talk to the guy or hang up. The choice is yours. I'll finish making lunch." Jared spoke loud enough that he knew Jim could hear him over the line. They'd been talking nearly every day so Jim knew from Jared how fearful Jensen was of starting this new relationship.

Jensen's eyes bulged out comically as he stood clutching the phone. He looked from the phone to Jared and back to the phone again. "Jared?"

"Talk to him. If you don't like what he says or you feel uncomfortable.....all you have to do is hang up. Jim's your uncle and he loves you." Jared murmured softly before leaning over to plant a gentle kiss on Jensen's temple. 

*****************************

 

Christmas with Jensen was an amazing experience. He had at least a dozen "special" Christmas outfits for Lily that he insisted she needed to wear. Jared wanted to smother them both in a million gifts but Jensen put his foot down declaring that neither of them were to be spoiled. Jensen limited the presents to one each at Henry's house and only a handful at the house during their own celebration with Mackenzie.

On Christmas Eve, at Henry's house, Jared gave Jensen a camera. With a un-manly squeal, Jensen ripped open the box, set the camera up and started snapping pictures. He took so many pictures that Jared thought his eyes were going to explode from the constant flash of the camera. Jared unwrapped a large box from Jensen containing at least a dozen new shirts, all in dark solid colors. When Jared held the black button up to himself and sent a questioning look to him, Jensen blushed and explained. "You look really good in black."

Jared hurried into the other room and came back wearing the new shirt, causing Jensen to blush even more.

That night, they made out like a couple of horny teenagers on the couch in front of the twinkling Christmas tree. Although, due to Jensen's stitches, they didn't go far, Jared declared it "The Best Christmas Ever!"

Christmas Morning, "Santa" had brought Lily and Jared a fancy jogging stroller so Jared could take her on his morning runs when the weather was nice. Jared jumped up and down, excited about the idea. "Santa" left Jensen a small white box with a small green bow on it. With a curious tweak of an eyebrow in Jared's direction, Jensen nervously opened the box. Inside the velvet was a single silver key.

"What's this?" Jensen questioned, picking up the key like it was about to jump out at him.

"Well....that's just part of it. Santa couldn't bring the other part into the house. The rest of it's outside." Jared sent a grinning wink to Mackenzie as she swiped up Jensen's camera to follow the curious man outside. Jensen stood on the front steps, frozen as he stared at the brand new car sitting beside Jared's SUV.

"J-J-Jared." Jensen sobbed, fighting back tears. "Y-y-you c-c-can't buy me a c-c-car! I-I-I c-c-c-can't even dr-dr-drive."

"So...I'll teach you." Jared shrugged, stepping closer to wrap an arm around his trembling husband. "You'll need to be able to get around on your own soon. I can't have my husband and daughter stranded on foot all the time. What if I can't get away from work and Lily has a doctor's appointment? Wouldn't you like to be able to run to the store without me?"

"I-I-I l-like sh-shopping with you." Jensen sniffed, putting his head on Jared's shoulder.

"I'm not saying that I don't want to go to the store with you." Jared hugged him closer. "I'm saying you need to have the ability to do it on your own should you chose to. You're a grown man. You shouldn't have to rely on anyone else."

"I think I'll always rely on you." Jensen nuzzled into Jareds' neck, his meaning not about the car.

"That's totally cool with me." Jared chuckled, glancing at Mackenzie as she snapped pictures like crazy. She was beaming back with a knowing look on her face. A moment later, she disappeared back into the house as Jared relished the feel of his husband fitting snuggly up against him. He could feel how much Jensen was enjoying it too considering what he could feel against his thigh. After a long time he questioned quietly. "How long did Jeff say you had to take it easy?" 

Jensen pulled his head back to peer into Jared's face, getting the double meaning instantly. "It's only been a month, Jay." He sighed heavily. "Jeff said it could take up two three months for all the incisions to heal completely."

"So, we've got a while before you can start learning to drive." Jared stated, trying to pretend that was what he'd been asking about. "You can look the car over later, see if it's really what you want."

"If you picked it out, it's what I want." Jensen shrugged. "I trust you."

"Yeah." Jared kissed him gently, not wanting to scare the neighbors with the type of make-out session he really wanted to get into. When it began to heat up, he pulled away. "Let's get inside and start breakfast before your sister starts gnawing on Lily. I swear, that girl can out eat me!" Holding onto Jensen's hand, Jared led the way inside, unable to release him just yet.


	11. Chapter 11

A few days later, Jared found his husband chewing nervously on his lip again as he fed Lily her morning bottle.

"What's the matter Jen?" Jared sat beside him, watching him worry his lip. Jensen gave him a half-hearted smile and shrugged. "Jensen? What is it?"

"My brother Cooper wants to meet us....face to face." Jensen winced, showing the fear he was trying to withhold.

"That's great!" Jared let out a breath in relief. He'd thought it was going to be something bad. "He's your brother. Your family. You and Mac should meet him. Get to know him! He's a part of you that you don't know yet."

"He wants us to come see him next week." Jensen frowned and Jared felt his heart pause in it's beating. "I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Ready to see him or ready to go there?" Jared questioned.

"Kinda both." Jensen looked fearfully up at Jared, as if afraid he would be teased for his fears. "Mostly I don't think I'm ready to go there......I'd feel....trapped?"

"I'm not sure Jeff would want you traveling that far anyway." Jared agreed. "But....maybe you could invite him here? We've got the room. He could come hang out with both you and Mackenzie here. That way you'll feel comfortable and still get to visit."

"You wouldn't mind?" Jensen gasped looking shocked. "You're okay with me inviting....a stranger here?"

"Jensen." Jared sighed roughly. "This is your house as much as mine. You don't have to ask permission to invite anyone here. Besides, he's not really a stranger. He's part of your family. Would you expect me to ask your permission to invite Meg to stay here?"

"No." Jensen shrugged looking like he wanted to argue but chose not to.

"It's up to you. If you want to invite Cooper here, do it. If you want to go visit him.....clear it with Jeff first."

"You really are fabulous." Jensen grinned,  
leaning over the baby to plant a kiss on Jared's cheek. Jared thrust the tingle of unease he felt aside and accepted his husbands affection with eagerness. He couldn't explain the sudden feeling of dread and jealously so he chose to tamp it down.

 

******************************************

 

Within fifteen minutes of Cooper Ackles being in his home, Jared got the distinct impression that Cooper did not like him. His light green eyes would narrow in disdain anytime he met them. He would ignore Jared when in the same room as him. He would have an almost snarl on his face when Jared attempted to talk to him. Worst of all, he went out of his way to avoid touching Jared or anything he touched. He went as far as to wash his hands hurriedly when Jared handed him a beer.

But, since Jensen was so excited about his brother being there and Cooper seemed to really care about Jensen, Jared ignored the rudeness of his house guest. Getting to know his newly discovered brother made Jensen smile. Jared was willing to put up with the boorish behavior as long as Jensen was happy.

Steve and Chris noticed it right away when they came over to meet Jensen's brother over dinner. "What the hell is his problem?" Chris hissed while Jensen was entertaining Cooper across the room.

Jared shrugged. "Don't know. He doesn't like me, I guess. As long as he treats Jensen good, it doesn't matter."

"You're a bigger man than I am." Chris took a swig of his beer and continued to glare at the man. "I'd have decked him by now."

"Of course I'm bigger than you, Shrimp." Jared replied lamely, but the joke fell flat as he stared longingly over at his husband who looked so happy to be with his brother. He tried not to wish being with him would make Jensen so happy. But jealousy was like that.  
So Jared suffered the week-long visit in silence.

 

*****************************

 

"You're jus' fooling yourself." Cooper pointed at Jared with his finger while holding his scotch. "Jensen isn't in love with you. He never will be. He's settled with you because of Lily and because you got him out of that horrible situation with Chuck. He's latched onto you....because you represent safety to him."

Jared felt the sharp barbs all the way through him. Cooper was saying exactly what Jared feared deep within him. Perhaps if Jensen hadn't told him that he wouldn't be able to love him, it wouldn't have hurt as badly.

"He's most likely not even gay, Jared." Cooper continued either not seeing or not caring about the pain he was causing Jared. "He's only had sexual experience with men, so he's made himself believe that that is his preference. If he were to go out with a woman....he'd see it a different way."

"So you think I'm forcing him to .....be gay by staying with him?" Jared felt the life crushed out of him.

"I'm saying that if you release him from this sham of a marriage, he'll be free to make up his own mind and decide what he really wants." Cooper swallowed down the last of his drink and rose, wobbly. "Give it some thought."

Jared went to bed in his empty room. Since the arrival of his siblings, Jensen had been sleeping in the guest room with them and Lily.

Jared had felt abandoned and forgotten but knew the siblings needed time to bond. Jared missed having Jensen at his side at night. He missed getting to get up with Lily at night. He missed the quiet time at night when it was just the three of them, Jensen humming quietly to Lily while Jared sat up with them. 

He was miserable but no one seemed to notice nor care. He knew he was being selfish, but he just wanted his little family back.

But all this forced seclusion gave him the chance to think and dwell on what Cooper said. In his misery, he came to the conclusion that Jensen's big brother was right, he was forcing Jensen to be what he wanted him to be and it wasn't fair to Jensen.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

"What's this?" Jensen looked up from feeding Lily as Jared tossed the folder on the table beside him two days after his late night talk with Cooper.

"Divorce papers." Jared stated abruptly, avoiding looking at Jensen.

Jensen let out a loud shocked gasp. "What?"

"I'm divorcing you. I want you to go with Cooper when he leaves today."

"W-Why?"

"You need to go be with your family. Rediscover yourself." Jared paced over to the window and pretended to look out.

"W-what about Lily?" There was raw emotion in Jensen's voice. Even across the room, Jared could feel the fear emanating from him. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown, not fear of being without Jared. "You can't take her away from-"

"She'll go with you, of course." Jared cut him off roughly. "I'll want visitation with her, of course. I've included a healthy child support package to go along with a hefty bank account in your name. You'll never want for anything for you and Lily."

"Except you." Jensen murmured so quietly Jared wondered if he'd actually heard him say it. He felt his heart swell at the quiet words, but forced himself to stamp the hope down. Jensen had been conditioned to think that way, it wasn't something he chose. He'd made Jensen believe that he needed him as cruelly as Chuck had forced him to obey him. As painful as it was, he forced himself to ignore the pain in Jensen's voice. "I-I-I don't want your money, Jared!" Although his voice was cracking, Jared could tell that Jensen's fear was morphing into anger. Good, he could face anger easier than the hurt that came with the fear.

"You'll have it anyway." Jared shrugged. "I've already informed Cooper. He's packing Lily's things as we speak."

"So I don't get a choice in the matter? That's just it? Get lost, Jensen?"

"Correct." Jared nodded, still keeping his back to him so he wouldn't have to see the pain in Jensen's face. But mostly because he didn't want Jensen to see how wretched this was making him feel. "I've already signed the papers. I'd prefer you read them before you leave this evening. I can assure you, you've gotten a fair deal out of this but have someone read it over for you. I've given you more than I've ever gotten from you."

"Sex." Jensen wheezed. "This is about sex! Jared, you can't do this! I'm not yet healed from the operation! I told you I'd let you fuck me once I've healed!"

"It's not about fucking!" Anger flared through him. After all this time, Jensen still thought that this was all about sex. It hurt him to the quick and he fought it back, turning it into anger. Jared spun on him, trying not too notice how Jensen flinched and clutched Lily to him protectively. "Just read the damn papers and get the hell out of my house!"

"Fine!" Shifting Lily to his other arm, Jensen grabbed up a pen, angrily scribbling his signature. "There! You're saddled with one less unwanted husband!"

Jared waited until he could no longer hear Jensen's angry footsteps to let loose. He sunk to his knees and cried, letting the tears flow unheeded. He'd just thrown away the one thing he wanted more than anything.

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Jared shivered in the cool January air as he stared out into the back yard. He was hiding out there, he could admit that. Not that anyone was actually wanting to find him. He hadn't seen Jensen since he'd stormed out after signing the divorce papers.

He could hear the three Ackles siblings moving around the house. Jensen and Lily's things were being loaded into Cooper's van. He didn't want to see his life being loaded up and driven away. He didn't want to see his reason for living disappear from his life.

"Are you going to say goodbye to your daughter, at least?" Mackenzie was suddenly there, holding Lily up against her. Lily was snuggly wrapped in her winter blankets. "Jensen's already in the car.....but it's not too late to stop him from going."

"I want him to go." Jared glanced at his daughter, but didn't budge from his spot. "He needs to go."

"Says who? You? You don't want him to go! That's why you're hiding out here!" Mackenzie wasn't one to pull her punches and she wasn't about to start now. "You're an imbecile!"

Jared didn't respond. He simply stared out into the yard, remembering how he and Jensen had discussed getting a dog or two to fill the yard. It had seemed like the greatest idea, but now it seemed stupid.

"You love him! He loves you! You're fucking married!" Mackenzie continued to rant.

"Not anymore. He signed the divorce papers this morning." Jared sighed. "And he's never loved me. He needed me. We used each other and now we're done."

"You're an idiot." Mackenzie muttered as the baby began to fuss. Jared gripped the handrail so hard he thought it might crack, but he was able to keep himself from sweeping Lily out of her arms.

"Go Away, Mackenzie." He gritted out. He heard the click of the door shutting behind her, but made no effort to move. He stood there long after hearing Cooper's van starting up and disappearing into the dusk, taking every reason for breathing with him. There was a sharp stabbing pain in his chest that he immediately recognized as his heart shattering into a million pieces.

 

****************************************

 

With his husband and child gone, the house became a hated place. Every room reminded him of Jensen. From a silly knick-knack that Jensen had placed on a shelf to memories of picking out the piece of furniture with Jensen. 

The pain that struck his heart at every moment was unbearable. At first, he cried when he was inundated with the memories. He found an abandoned over-shirt of Jensen's that still smelt like him. He clutched it to him at night until the smell of his husband disappeared. Without his husband's scent to cling too, alcohol became his best friend.

His father would come to the door of his office and glare disapprovingly at him but said nothing. It hardly phased him, being drunk at work. His friends attempted to cheer him up, but gave up after too many times that he got sloppy drunk and started fights with them and strangers.

His cases were taken from him and he was sent home on the second week of Jensen being gone. His friends were avoiding him so all he had was himself and his drinking all day long. 

In one drunken revelation, he'd decided that what he needed was to get laid. A nice blow-job in a club bathroom would be perfect. He went to one of his old haunts but the club wasn't as nice as he remembered. None of the guys were good looking enough. The women were too soft and curvy. No one had the right shade of green eyes. No one had that shy grin that could make his heart stop in a flash. No one had the soft whiskey-rough voice that could make his heart speed up. 

Basically no one was Jensen. Jensen had ruined him for other men, and even other women. He'd ruined him for everyone. Jared went home alone and unsatisfied.

 

###############

 

"Dude, you can't keep doing this." Chad tried. "You were the one that got out of this mess. You grew up and became responsible. You gave me hope that we can make it out of this shit."

"What do you mean?" Jared's alcohol infused brain had trouble understanding what his friend was saying. "We're having fun!"

"Do you really think this is the life we should be having?" We're not teenagers anymore, we're pushing thirty. You made it out of this. Jensen saved you. You were happy. You were responsible! You were a freaking grown-up! Married, with a kid!" Chad shook his head. "You gave me hope that we weren't going to die being the losers we are now! Now you've gone and chased your husband away and look at you! You're worse than before! You're a fucking alcoholic! You're not getting drunk for the fun of it anymore!"

Chad's speech didn't have the desired effect. It only made Jared more miserable which caused him to drink more. 

As if they were a tag-team effort, his father was the next one to try. "Your husband isn't going to like coming home to a drunken sot."

"He's not coming home, Father. I told you that already." Jared eyed the half-empty whiskey bottle across the room longingly. He was too drunk to be having a sober conversation with his father but too sober to not feel the pain of it. "He's not my husband any more. We're divorced."  
"Then why are you still wearing your ring?" Henry gazed pointedly at the ring on Jared's hand. He hadn't been able to remove it. For him, it was the last symbol of what they'd had and what he'd dreamed of them someday having.

"Go away, Father." Jared rose shakily to his feet and stumbled to the whiskey bottle. Foregoing the glass, he chugged it straight from the bottle, coughing chokingly as it burned it's way down.

"Son......Jared....you can't go on like this." Henry sighed before slowly letting himself out of the house.

Jared sat in the darkened living room, drinking himself into a stupor as he stared at the ring. His father had been right. He wasn't married anymore, so why wear the ring? Still, he couldn't bring himself to remove it.

 

************************************

 

It was a shock to see Chris enter through the back gate. The connecting gates had been closed since the day Jensen left. Jared frowned, the sight of Chris trudging through the melting slush a little on the hazy side.

"Chris?" He frowned as the man approached. 

"No, it's the fucking Easter Bunny!" Chris drawled as he came to sit on the top step beside Jared. "What the hell are you doing out here? It's fucking cold!"

"Doesn't seem too cold to me." Jared shrugged, turning to look at his neighbor, blinking harshly to try to focus on the man. "Why are you here?"

"Whoa, don't sound so welcoming kid, I might get the feeling that you liked me or something." Chris snarked, reaching over to snag the bottle of Jack out of Jared's hand. He took a healthy swig of it.

"No, I'm happy to see you and all......but....no one is really speaking to me right now. I figured you hated me as much as everyone else did. Jensen's friends are all hating me right now......"

"I didn't know I was Jensen's friend." Chris took another drink, holding the bottle on his opposite side so Jared would have to reach across him to reclaim it. Jared eyed it longingly but didn't push. "Thought I was both of yours."

"I don't know." Jared shrugged, taking a moment to push a few loose pieces of gravel off the steps with his toe. "Haven't seen you since Jensen left. Figured you were mad at me and hated me like everyone else."

"I think you're a dick and an idiot, but I'm not mad nor do I hate you." Chris shrugged.

"You don't?" Jared swung his gaze around to study the man who actually seemed to be his friend after all.

"Naw." Chris shook his head. "Cuz....I've been there man. I've been a dick to Steve. Hell, I'm an idiot most of the time."

"You're a dick to Steve?" Jared repeated dumbly.

"Yeah." Chris lit up a cigarette and stared out across the yard in the direction of his house. The glow of lights could be seen shining through the darkness. "He wants the whole marriage thing and all........I haven't managed to get my head around the concept. I love him. He loves me. I plan on being with him for the rest of my life.....marriage should be easy, right?"

"Uh...." Jared wouldn't know what to say to that even if he was sober, drunken Jared was definitely unable to answer that and he was sober enough to know that. "I don't know."

"Exactly!" Chris stamped the cigarette out after one puff. "He wants me to quit smoking but I still sneak around and do it. He knows I'm smoking. I know he knows....but I still lie about it. Thus, the idiot factor."

"Oh." Jared leaned forward, hoping Chris would offer his bottle back.

"Yeah." Chris took another swig of the bottle, then promptly up-ended it, pouring the contents into the yard to the sound of Jared's squawk of distress.

"Hey! I just opened that!" Jared cried out, seeing the glorious amber liquid disappear into the darkened lawn.

"Jared, it was half gone! How the hell are you even upright?" Chris tossed the bottle aside and glared at him.

Jared was still staring morosely at the lost alcohol and didn't answer. He hadn't yet drank enough to ease the pain that ate at him. He wondered if he could lick it off the ground.

"I wanted to do this while you were sober, but I don't think that happens very often lately. I need to know, why did you do this? Was it some sort of fight? Hurt feelings or something? Jealous of him having his family here? You love Jensen, I know you do. Why would you want to divorce him? To hurt him like that?"

Jared sat silent for a moment, studying the other man. He was quickly losing the pleasant buzz he'd had going before Chris showed up. "We didn't fight. I didn't do it to hurt him. I did it to set him free."

"Free? What the fuck do you mean by that?" Chris snarled, obviously getting pissed about it.

"You're right. I love him. I love him more than...........anything. I was.....happy with him. I'm miserable now....so much that I want to die without him, but....it wasn't about me. It was about him. I needed to set him free."

"I'm not understanding about the setting free part of this logic." Chris frowned, a crease furrowing his brow. "Can you explain that to me?"

With a heavy sigh, Jared explained. "I love Jensen, but he doesn't love me. He.....is most likely grateful that I got him away from Chuck, but he doesn't love me. It's not fair of me to make him stay with me just because I love him. He needs to be out there!" Jared swung his arm out, indicating the world. "He needs a chance to be...Jensen."

"You're a God-damned idiot!" Chris exclaimed with such vigor that Jared felt the need to pull back away from him. "That kid loves you! He thinks you hung the fucking moon!"

"No. No, he doesn't. He's....grateful to me. He....likes me, I guess. He doesn't love me." Jared shrugged. 

"Stay here!" Chris insisted, jumping to his feet. He jumped off the porch and charged across the yard towards his house. Jared, feeling more sober than he'd felt in weeks, watched him go feeling more confused than ever. A few moments later, Chris was barreling back into the yard, clutching something in his arms. "Let's go into the kitchen, you need light to see this. In fact, you need coffee! Make some God-damned coffee!"  
"Um, okay." Jared followed the man into the kitchen and set to making coffee while Chris went to the bar and started messing with whatever it was that he'd went home to get. When the coffee was set and brewing, Jared went over to stand beside the shorter man timidly. Peering over his shoulder, Jared found that he'd brought over......photo albums?

"Pictures?" Jared questioned, feeling like he was somehow out of the loop here.

"You're going to see for yourself. You're going to look at these and see what you've been too pig-headed and blind to see on your own." Chris flipped to a page he was holding a finger in to mark. With his free hand, he pointed to a picture from one of the workshop meetings. In the picture Jared was leaning back in a chair, his arm casually spread out on the chair behind Jensen. Jensen was sitting close to him, nearly on the edge of Jared's chair. They were both looking up at Jeff as he was saying something. "See how he's sitting?"

"He was nervous about being around you all." Jared shrugged. "I was his protection."

Chris made an irritated noise and flipped to the next page he'd marked with a finger. "And this one?" It was another workshop meeting, this time a little later in the year by the size of Jensens' stomach. They were sitting on one of the sofa, Jared talking to someone off camera while Jensen was talking to Gabe on his other side. One of Jensen's hands was resting on Jared's thigh.

"He probably was trying to get my attention." Jared shrugged again. Chris huffed and flipped to the next marked page. This picture was the two of them at the baby shower. Jensen as leaning heavily on Jared's shoulder. Both of his hands were clasping Jared's to his protruding stomach. A tired half-smile was on his face.

Not waiting for Chris to question him, he explained hurriedly. "He was exhausted, he gets cuddly when he's tired. And the baby was kicking, so he was trying to get me to feel. Chris, none of this is proving anything."

"Shut the hell up and keep looking." Chris growled, flipping to another page. These were of Jensen in the hospital after he'd woken from the coma. The entire spread were simular pictures of him laying in the bed holding Lily with Jared leaning over looking at Lily. Chris pointed out several of Jensen beaming up at Jared with that beautiful smile Jared loved so much.

"He's worn out and prouder than shit of our girl." Jared chuckled fondly, remember how Jensen couldn't stop grinning, no matter how tired he was. "And he has every right to be. She's the most perfect thing in the universe. She's just as beautiful as he is." Jared ran a gentle finger over a close up of Jensen cuddling Lily to him. That beautiful smile he was aiming at their daughter was one of pure love and devotion. He remembered feeling a twinge of jealousy at that look before tamping it down. "These are awesome pictures."

"Steve's good with the camera." Chris nodded, sounding a little proud of his man. "We'll get you some copies of these."

"Thanks man." Jared couldn't take his eyes off the pictures. He let out a little whimper of protest when Chris flipped the page again. These were pictures of Christmas. Jared was holding Lily in one of her numerous frilly Christmas outfits. His attention was on Chris on his left. Jensen sat on his right, that dreamy look of pure love from the other picture was on his face again and Jared had to smile at how much the man loved his daughter. Except......Jared frowned. Except.....he wasn't looking at Lily. His gaze was aimed at Jared. Jensen was looking at him with that look.

"Now you see it." Chris murmured gently. "It's how he looks at you all the time. You just don't see it. You just haven't been looking for it. The kid is madly in love with you."

"He never says it." Jared attempts to defend himself, but it falls flat in both of their ears.

"I don't say it as often as I should, but Steve knows I love him. He says he can feel it. Maybe you should try to feel it too?"

Jared swallowed roughly, staring at that picture in amazement. "You think he'll forgive me? For being blind? For being an idiot?"

"Only one way to find out." Chris shrugged. Rising, he fetches a couple of mugs from the cabinet and pours them some coffee. Jared winces at the straight black coffee, but drinks it as quick as he can without scalding his mouth. He needs to be alert. He needs to be clear headed so he can think of what to do.

Chris stays until the first cup is consumed then excuses himself to go back to his family, leaving Jared with the photos, a full pot of coffee and his thoughts.

 

**************************************

 

 

He's going to get his husband, that's all there is to it, Jared decides. There's only a few problems with the plan. 

1\. He doesn't know where his husband is. He knows the town but he has no idea where Cooper lives nor if Jensen is staying with him still. 

2\. It's one in the morning. He could make it there in four hours which means he'd be there while it's still way too early to be pounding on doors, even if he knew which door he needed to pound on. And Jensen was NOT a morning person so that probably wouldn't be a good plan to win him back.

3\. His husband wasn't exactly his husband anymore. They'd signed the papers and it'd cleared quickly. They were divorced. 

4\. Even if Jensen really did love him, Jared had kicked him out and divorced him. Jensen probably wasn't going to fall into his arms after that insult. Jared was most likely back to square one and needed to woo the man again.

5\. Even if Jensen did agree to come back and try it again, Jared had literally destroyed Jensen's beloved house. He wouldn't be pleased to see the sty Jared had turned it into.

6\. Basically, Jared was screwed.

Hopped up on coffee and determination, Jared decided that there was one thing he could do that would be a step in the right direction. He could clean up this physical mess before he tried to clean up his love life. 'God!' He thought ruefully. 'I have a love life!'

 

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Six hours later, Jared was stepping out of the shower. He'd spent the last five and a half hours scrubbing the house spotless and removing all traces of his drunken binge that he'd been on. Now he was ready to go get his husband. Now he had some sort of plan to work from. He was going to Jim's house and find out from him where his husband was. He threw a couple of changes of clothes into a duffle, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. 

Jared slammed the door and nearly let out a shriek as someone rose up off the top step. Heart racing, he blinked, thinking he was imagining things. Perhaps he should have taken a nap instead of cleaning up? Because, no matter how many times he blinked, he still thought he saw Jensen standing nervously wiping his hands on his jeans. Jensen standing there in form fitting jeans. Jeans that hugged his bow legs. Jensen whose cheeks were a ruddy red from the cold has he watched him with trepidation. 

"Jensen?" Jared questioned the mirage.

"Uh, Hi?" Jensen looked frightened, nervous and....gorgeous. He'd lost the roundness he'd had from the pregnancy. He'd lost the paleness that had haunted him during th entire pregnancy. He looked good. 

Jensen ducked his head, blushing as Jared realized he'd spoken aloud. Cocking a brow, Jensen looked back up at him. "You look like hell, Jay."

"That's where I've been." Jared shrugged, dropping his duffel beside the door before stepping hesitantly forward. He wanted to wrap Jensen up in a never-ending bear hug but figured Jensen wouldn't go for that, as skittish as he was acting. 

There was a deafening silence between them until Jared finally blurted out. "What are you doing here, Jen?"

Jensen flinched as if he had been shot and paled. He wiped his hands on his jeans again and scratched the back of his neck as he always did as he was nervous. "I-I-I w-wanted to.....apologize."

"Aplogize? For what?" Jared questioned, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him. To do something to make him relax. It killed him to hear Jensen stuttering again. It had taken them so very long to get Jensen to feel comfortable enough to stop stuttering the first time. Mark that down as another sin Jared had committed against the guy.

"I-I-I d-don't know?" Jensen winced. "F-f-f-for whatever I d-did to make you h-hate me?"

"Hate you!" Jared blinked. "I don't hate you! I love you!"

It was now Jensen's turn to look confused. He blinked a couple of times, pushed his glasses up and frowned. "Seriously Jared.....Whatever it is I d-d-did wrong, I'm s-s-sorry. Just tell me what I did. Tell me what I c-can do to make it up to you."

"Jensen-"Jared felt like crying but as Jensen cut him off, he really did start crying.

"Jared, I'm here to b-beg your forgiveness! To beg for you to take me b-b-back!"

"There's nothing to forgive you for. Jensen....." Jared sobbed, feeling his heart breaking over the look of  
desperation on Jensen's face. 

"P-p-please Jay...I want to come home." Jensen  
pleaded quietly.

 

"Home?" Jared sobbed. "If it's the house you want-"

"I could care less about the house!" Jensen snarled angrily. "I just want to be with you! We can sell the house, move back in with your dad if that's what it'll take for you to take me back!"

"You want to be with me?" Jared repeated numbly.

"Yes!" Jensen nodded, stepping closer. "I never wanted to leave in the first place."

"I'm sorry." Jared sniffed, wiping the tears from his face. He knew he looked like an idiot, tears and snot running down his face. But, Jensen was looking at him like he didnt' think he was an idiot. "I was trying to do right by you."

"By divorcing me? Kicking me and our daughter out was your way of doing right?" Jensen looked utterly confused and amazed at his logic.

"I...was setting you free. Letting you go so you can figure out what you wanted. Let you go where you wanted to go."

"You could have just asked. I would have told you I was exactly where I wanted to be. I was happy here.....with you." Jensen whispered softly, understanding dawning on his face. "I'm serious Jared....I've never been happier than being here with you. I know.....I don't show it well.....but......I liked being your husband. I liked us being a family."

"Chris says that you love me......he showed me some pictures." Jared whispered, searching Jensen's face as he stepped up to where they were nearly touching. "In them....you look like you loved me."

"I-I-I d-d-don't know if it's l-l-love." Jensen's eyes filled with tears, making him look even more beautiful than before. "But I know you make me feel......different. When you're around.....I feel like there's something good in the world. Like.....my life is really worth living. I don't feel this way unless I'm with you. I loved it when you would come home from work and sit with me while you told me about your day.... Just getting to be with you made me feel....good. Like the way you held me at night.... I don't feel that way when I'm not around you and it fucking sucks. I want to feel....that way again. I want to feel h-happy again."

"Sounds a lot like you love me." Jared gave him a hopeful smile. "Cuz that's a lot like I feel about you. I've been miserable since you left. You and Lily took my happiness away with you."

"So......you think....I can come back?"Jensen asked, his whole demeanor brightening as he offered a sunny smile. 

"You really want to? You want to be with me?" Jared gasped, feeling optimistic. "You can forgive me for being a dick?"

"I never wanted to stop being with you." Jensen stated, holding his left hand up so Jared could see the shiny titanium ring on his finger. His wedding band. With an embarrassed grin, Jared held up the matching one that remained on his finger. 

"Come inside...we can talk some more." Jared motioned, digging his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door. "By the way....where is Lily?"

"With Chris and Steve. I had Mac drop us off there...in case I had to take a lot of time convincing you to take us back."

"How long were you sitting out here? Why didn't you just come inside? You still have a key, I didn't change the locks or anything."

"An hour or so." Jensen shrugged. "And it wasn't my home anymore. I may have a key, but it wasn't my place to let myself in. I was determined to just wait for you."

"God, you must be freezing! I'll make you some cocoa or something." Jared offered.

"Coffee!" Jensen grinned. "I'd kill for some coffee right now."

"Then coffee it is." Jared agreed, feeling a little nervous as he searched for the correct key for the door.

"Wait." Jensen hesitated as Jared fumbled with the keys. Jared turned to see him eyeing the duffle that had been dropped beside the door. "You were going somewhere. Where were you going?"

"To go get you. To beg you to forgive me and come home." Jared admitted, a little embarrassed.

"Really?" Jensen let out, a little breathlessly. His eyes, wide and bright, searched Jared's face. Evidently, he found the truth in his face because he opened up into a wide, glorious smile. "Awesome."

"Yeah." Jared felt his mouth stretch into a matching smile. He felt lighter than he had in ages and he wanted nothing more than to kiss the man senseless. Trying to be civil, he refrained from pouncing him on the front porch for the world to see. 

Jensen, on the other had, apparently had no qualms about it and launched himself at Jared. Jared had no choice but to catch him and give him access to his mouth as he hungrily ate at it.

Jared threw himself into the kiss, kissing Jensen with every bit of love and desire he felt. And somehow, it felt like he was getting kissed back the same way. Wrapping his long arms around Jensen, he pulled him tighter against him, feeling Jensen's heart beating wildly against his own chest, through the layers of their clothes.  
This felt good. This felt right. He may not have been anywhere, but it felt like he was coming home. He felt warm all over as if he were kissing the sun itself.


	12. Epilogue

Five years later.....

 

Jensen clutched his coffee mug to him in both hands as he watched his loved ones through the window. Lily was skipping happily beside Jared with her little hand in his huge one. In looks, she took after him, but in personality, she was just like Jared. For that, Jensen was grateful. She was outgoing with a sunny personality. Her big Padalecki smile always available. Jared turned, sending him a grin and a wave before helping Lily into the truck.

He was still standing at the window, holding a cold cup of coffee in his grasp when Steve slipped in the back door. It'd been ten minutes since the truck had disappeared from sight. "Jensen?" Steve's gentle voice was full of concern. "What's the matter?"

"Um....Can you meet the bus today?" Jensen frowned out the window, unable to meet his friends all-seeing gaze yet. "Keep Lily until Jared gets home?"

"Of course....if you tell me what's going on." The sound of Steve's footsteps told Jensen that his best friend was coming closer. In an attempt to avoid him, Jensen spun and hurriedly rinsed his mug, placing it in the dishwasher. "Where are you going? You're always here to meet the bus for Lily."

"Maybe.....fix something for them to eat for a couple of days?" Jensen continued, ignoring the questions his best friend was asking. "I've got a couple of casseroles in the freezer, but Jared won't be thinking far ahead enough to defrost them."

"Jensen!" Steve barked. "Where are you going? Is something wrong with Mac? Your Uncle? Tell me. You're making me nervous." Steve stomped over to him and did the one thing Jensen was dreading. He touched him. A simple touch of Steve's hand on his own, effectively stilling him as he attempted to scrub the already clean counter.

"Nobody's sick. Everybody is fine." Jensen jerked his head to the side, still attempting to avoid Steve's eyes. 

"Then where are you going?" Steve growled, his frustration clear.

"I....I...I'm not sure....where." Jensen fought back a sob that threatened. "I'm......leaving Jared."

"What?!" Steve almost yelled. "Why? I didn't know you guys were fighting."

"We're not." Jensen shrugged. "But, if I stay....We will. I don't want Lily growing up having that as memories of her childhood."

"So you'd rather she has memories of abandonment?" Steve snapped. "Memories of seeing her father fall apart because her daddy left them? Jensen! Whatever your issues are, this is not the way to solve them! Talk to your fucking husband!"

"I can't. There's no hope...." Jensen replied, finally breaking down into the tears he'd been fighting. He didn't fight Steve when he pulled him into his arms to hold him while he broke down. Steve held him tightly until the tears subsided. 

When there was nothing left in Jensen but a few hiccuping sobs, Steve asked. "What's wrong? Surely there is something that can solve this?"

"No." Jensen replied hopelessly. "I can't do what he wants...."

"Jensen. Jared loves you. You love him. There's got to be a way out of this mess. Start at the beginning. Tell me what this is all about."

"Last month....Jared and I were talking about how Lily has really settled into Kindergarten and I really don't have much to do here at home anymore since she’s gone all day. He suggested I look into going back to school, at least part-time."

"That's cool." Steve prompted, not seeing the problem yet.

"I thought it was at first.....but last week, I told Jared that I wanted to have another baby." Jensen sniffled.

"You guys are great parents. That's a great idea!" Obviously seeing the distress on Jensen's face, he frowned. "Jared doesn't think so?" Steve questioned quietly.

"I thought he did...." Jensen sniffled again. "But....Last night....he brought home pamphlets about adoption."

"You guys are a shoe-in for adopting!" Steve declared. "Same sex adoptions aren't the problem they used to be! Especially since you already have a kid together. You're a stable family....stable income. You won't have a problem at all! Any kid would be lucky to have you guys!"

"I wasn't talking about adoption." Jensen muttered quietly. "I....want to have a little boy.....that looks like Jared."

"Ah...." Steve got it, evidently. "Jensen. Men don't have a second pregnancy."

"Some have!" Jensen argued but Steve cut him off.  
"Very few! The odds of that happening are ridiculous! Men are not supposed to have more than one pregnancy."

"Men aren't supposed to have girls.....but I did! I beat the odds before!"

"Yeah, but that's becoming more common. 2nd pregnancies are not." Steve sighed. "If you really want another kid, adoption is the way to do it."

"That's what Jared said. Right before he ordered me to forget about having another baby. He ordered me! Said it like he was talking to one of the dogs! After all this time, he still thinks of me as a possession! I thought......I thought....that....he....."Shaking his head, he pulled away from Steve to pace the length of the kitchen. "But....he still thinks he owns me! Bought and paid for!!!"

"Jensen, no!" Steve argued, reaching out to stop him but missing. "Our guys are.....They find it hard to show their emotions. Where you and I will cry and scream if we get upset or scared, they.....bluster and try to act tough! Jared wasn't really commanding you.....he was scared!"

"Scared?" Jensen scoffed. "What does he have to be afraid of?"

"Jesus Jensen!" Steve slung his hands in the air. "You nearly died having Lily! You were in a fucking coma for two weeks! Jared was a wreck! He was a mess......we were worried that he wouldn't make it if you died! He's fucking terrified of losing you and you're throwing a hissy because he doesn't want you to risk your life on something that won't happen?!"

Jensen sunk to the floor as the realization hit him. Jared was afraid to lose him? Tears threatened again as Steve hunkered down in front of him. "But....it can happen. It did.....happen."

"What?" Steve frowned at him, clearly not understanding.

"It...happened. I'm already pregnant." Jensen confessed, as he began to cry again. "That's why I was leaving him! Because he said he didn't want me to be pregnant and I already am! I can't have an abortion! I won't!"

"What?" Steve gasped, falling to his butt on the floor in shock. "Do you know for sure?"

"I haven't been feeling right.....but.....I remembered feeling this way before I found out I was pregnant with Lily. So... I took a home-test. I'm pregnant."

"Oh....oh!" Steve ran a hand over his face. "I think we need to call Jared. He needs to know this. You need to talk." Pulling his cell out, Steve keyed Jared's number in. "Hey......no...no emergency...but...yeah, you need to come home as soon as you can. There's....something up with Jensen. Yeah, I know....no I can't tell you. You and Jensen need to talk. Yeah....I'll take Lily with me after school. Just...yeah, as soon as you're finished with your meeting...you need to come home and talk."

 

***************************************

 

"Jared?" Jensen called coming down the stairs towards the sound he'd heard in the kitchen. Steve had left a few minutes before to collect the kids from the bus after Jared had told him that he was heading home. "Jared? Is that you?" Coming into the kitchen, he didn't find his husband. Someone else was standing there. "Chuck!"

The man he'd grown up thinking was his father. The man who'd abused him his entire life was standing in the middle of the kitchen, a large butcher knife in his hand. Grinning maniacally, "Honey, I'm home! Didya miss me?"

"Get out of my house!" Jensen snarled, fear and hatred fighting for dominance. He glanced at the panic button on the alarm and knew he'd never make it before Chuck caught him. He figured if he could just hold him off for a few minutes, Jared would come home.

"Aww! Don't be like that Jenny! I've missed you and I know you've missed me! It's time for you to come home baby-boy!"

"You can kiss my ass!" Jensen snarled. "I ain't going anywhere with you! The only place you'll go is to Hell!" Edging towards the stove, Jensen gripped the handle of a heavy frying  
pan as rage surged through him. "I'm done being afraid of you! You can't control me anymore! Jared will-" The words, coming out of his own mouth, snapped something inside him. He was a man and he didn't need rescuing by Jared nor anyone. He wasn't the frail, scared boy he'd been before. He was strong, five years of working out beside Jared had given him muscles. Six years of knowing Jared had given him inner strength. He wasn't about to cower down to this man and wait for rescue. Without thought nor warning, the arm clutching the skillet swung out.

Tears of rage and fear mixed with the tears of the loss of his childhood as he swung the pan towards Chuck, hitting him upside the head. His arm began to ache, but he swung again anyway. He kept swinging, making contact with any part of Chuck he could after knocking the knife out of his hand. He kept swinging, not caring that the man was on the floor. Not caring that the bleeding man was attempting to scurry out of his reach. "You can't hurt me anymore! You're not going to touch me ever again! You're not going to get near my family! I won't let you! You're not hurting my children! You won't touch my babies!"

He wanted to end this! He didn't care if he killed the groveling man on the floor! He just knew this man had been the cause of so much pain and misery that it had to end. He knew, if given the chance, Chuck would hurt him. Chuck would hurt the baby he carried. He couldn't....wouldn't let Chuck have the chance. He raised his arm again, preparing to make a final blow with every ounce of strength he could muster.

His arm didn't move. Struggling to take the swing, he found his arm unable to budge. Blinking up at his upraised arm, he found his wrist encased in strong, tan fingers. Jareds fingers. Coming back from his hazy exile, he realized that a strong arm was wrapped around him. Jareds arm. Jared was there, holding him. Stopping him from hitting Chuck? Jareds warm breath was on his neck as he spoke. Jared was talking to him? He couldn't hear what Jared was saying. The blood was rushing in his ears too loudly to let Jared's voice penetrate. Jared's voice broke through. "Jensen, stop. Don't do this, baby. He's down. He's not going to hurt you. He's not going to hurt anyone. I'm here. The police are on the way. Please Sweetheart, stop!"

Suddenly the adrenaline, that what was keeping him going and giving him strength, left him. He deflated in Jared's arms like a balloon that had been released instead of tied. Jared clasped him to him, still murmuring in his ear. "Jensen. Yeah, Sweetheart, let go. Let go of the pan. He's down. You stopped him. It's just you and me."

Jensen let his fingers go slack as the skillet was pried from his grasp. He heard the excited murmur of another voice over the sound of Jared's murmurs. Chris, he guessed, not really caring. All he cared was that Jared was there, holding him.

"I wasn't going to let him hurt my baby." He whispered to Jared as Jared turned him into his embrace. Jensen snuggled up against his husband. "No one is going to hurt my baby."

"Lily's with Steve. She's safe. She was never in danger." Jared kissed his temple.

"No." Jensen shook his head. "Not Lily. The baby. My baby.....our baby." He sighed, realizing what he was confessing. "Our son.....the one I'm carrying." Taking Jared's hand, he placed it on his belly, where, deep inside, their child resided.

"What?" Jared gasped, his beautiful eyes searching Jensen's face, as if looking for answers.

"I know you don't want this baby, but I do." Jensen explained. "Steve explained that you were just afraid for me, because of the problems I had with Lily. But, I'm stronger now. I can do it. I can have this baby. I want this baby! I won't get rid of him to save myself!"

"You can't be....." Jared shook his head. "Men don't have a second pregnancy."

"I'm a freak." Jensen shrugged. "But, I mean it Jared! I don't care if you're scared! I want this baby! I'll do everything I can to have him. Even.....leaving you. I love you, but I'll leave you if you try to make me get rid of him!"

"Okay....Okay." Jared pulled him tighter into his embrace as Chris let the police into the kitchen, hurriedly explaining who the bleeding mass on the floor was. "We'll get through this....together. Don't ever leave me. You may be a freak, but you're my freak. We'll go see Jeff tomorrow."

Ignoring the men swarming around them, Jensen reached up and kissed his husband. Their lips met in a burning kiss, one that Jared often described as compared to kissing the sun. With the scorching kiss and the strong arms around him, Jensen knew everything would be okay. He, Jared, Lily and their little son would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know the actual names of the Padalecki and Ackles family members. But, since they are not celebrities, I feel I have no right to use their names if there is any chance of them coming off as unsavory. I believe only their sisters names are used correctly in this fic.


End file.
